Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with the Twilight series. It's all Stephanie Meyer's.
WARNING: It's rated M for a reason people!
***
Amy blinked to the daylight streaming through the hospital window. It had been two days since she had awakened to strangers peering at her. What scared her most were the swirling thoughts that surrounded her constantly. The woman had identified herself as Amy's mother, and the boy . . . well, he just stared at her with the worst pain she had ever seen. Not that she remembered the worst pain. Her heart felt a tug towards him, but she didn't understand it. Amy also learned that her name was Amy Watson and that she had survived a horrific attack. What kind of attack she really didn't know. They wouldn't tell her. Jacob, the boy, told her they were friends, but she knew from his tone that there was more to the story. His swirling thoughts hammered her mind, and she winced against them. He had left the room that day, and she hadn't seen him since. His absence made her feel lonely and sad. She wanted to cry.
Two other friends visited her. Bella and Edward were their names. She didn't remember them either. They seemed nice, but the pale male figure gave her goosebumps. She kept feeling all this strange energy. She didn't understand why she could hear people's thoughts. She didn't talk about it either, thinking the woman that was her mother would think her nuts and put her in the psych ward. She kept thinking about Jacob and knew they must have been dating before her accident. She dreamed about him and a large russet wolf, but when she would awake, none of it made sense to her. What did Jacob have to do with a wolf? She thought of his raven black hair, dark skin and dark eyes. She thought of the pain she saw there after he realized she didn't know who he was. She thought of the quiet way he had slipped out once the doctors and nurses had been called to examine her and ponder her memory loss. She thought and thought until thinking gave her a headache and her mother gave her a pill to help her sleep. Which is what she didn't want, but she didn't have much choice in the matter.
Now, she lay staring out the window to the gray sky. She turned her head then and gave a small scream when she saw Edward sitting in the chair at the foot of her bed. Her heart thumped against her ribcage and she sank deeper within the confines of the bed. He leaned forward and touched her foot. Concern rippled across his marble complexion and he said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."
"Where did you come from?" she asked, clutching the blankets against her chin. His hand still rested on her blanketed foot, and she slowly pulled her leg away from him. He realized her nervousness and took his hand away from the blankets. He smiled slightly and said, "I came in while you were still asleep. I don't make much noise."
"Obviously," she replied and stared at him for a moment. His unkempt auburn hair was thick and unruly. His amber eyes gazed back her. His chiseled, pale features seemed to be a work of art almost. She thought of the statue David when she looked at Edward because it was almost as if he were carved from marble as well.
"What are you?" she asked then.
"I'm your friend Edward," he replied.
She shook her head. "No, I didn't ask who. I asked what. What are you?"
He remained silent, quietly staring at her. Their eyes locked. And then he spoke but not with his mouth.
I'm Edward. A kindred spirit.
How can you do that? She responded automatically with her thoughts. Her eyes widened with the realization of what she just did.
We are telepathic, you and I.
She nodded. She scooted into a sitting position and continued to stare at him.
"What happened to me?" she asked out loud. He gazed at her and when she didn't think he would answer, he did.
"Do you really want to know?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Then I shall tell you."
***
"Fuck!" Jacob yelled as he slammed his knuckles against the engine block of the crappy VW Rabbit. He was trying to tighten a bolt when the wrench slipped.
"Jake," came the voice behind him and he reared up and slammed his head against the hood of the car. He whirled around to see Bella standing there, and he threw the wrench as far as it would go and yelled, "FUCK!" again. She winced against his anger though she knew it wasn't directed at her. He sucked air in and out of his lungs and said, "Now's not a good time to be here, Bells."
"I just wanted to see how you're doing," she said. She knew better than to approach him in this state. He was on the verge of losing it. He barked a harsh laugh and ran a hand through his hair. He was tempted to take the scissors to it. But he remembered how Amy liked to play with it and . . . PISS.
"How am I doing?" he asked. "Pretty shitty."
Bella nodded. She had her hands tucked inside her jacket pockets and she watched Jacob prowl up one side of the car and down the other. He stopped to look at her and said, "She fucking doesn't even remember me. Can you believe that? All the shit we've been through and she doesn't remember me."
"The doctors said it could be temporary—" Bella began but was abruptly cut off by Jake's ranting.
"I finally find my soul mate and now this shit. I swear, if I never have to see another fucking vampire as long as I live it won't be soon enough!"
Bella glared at him, but didn't reply. He was too busy pacing to have caught her reaction anyway. "I thought you and Edward had settled your differences," she said then. He stopped to stare at her. "Edward? You're worried about me and Edward? God, Bells, you're selfish sometimes." He said it a low voice and she realized then that she was being selfish. Sometimes all did she think of was Edward. Her face fell and she went to him, but he put his hands out.
"No, no. You're not doing that to me."
"What? I'm trying to say I'm sorry!" she said.
"Yeah, you'll say you're sorry, rub up against me and hope to get me back under your spell."
It was like he had slapped her. She stared at him incredulously and gasped, "What-what did you say?"
"You couldn't stand it that I finally found someone that made me happy. That loved me the way you could never love me," he said. He had stopped pacing. He took the VW hood's kickstand down and dropped the hood with a bang. He looked at her and said, "You were jealous."
She stood there speechless, but then she thought, Yes, I was jealous.
"Why are you still out here?" she asked him suddenly.
"What?"
"Why aren't you with Amy, trying to get her to remember you if you love her so damned much?"
His face flashed with anger, but then he said, "Because I'm fucking scared she'll never remember me. So, it's best that I just stay away."
"Forever?!" Bella exclaimed.
Jacob shrugged. She rushed over to him then and slapped him on the shoulder. "Jacob Black! That is the most idiotic thing I have EVER heard come out of your mouth and believe you me, I've heard some idiotic things!"
He rubbed his shoulder although she knew it couldn't have been more than a slight tingle. Her hand was stinging worse than his shoulder.
"The only way you're going to get her to remember is show her why she needs to remember," Bella said softly then. She caressed his jaw and he closed his eyes. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I love you Jake. I always will, but I know that you and Amy are meant to be together. And I want you to be happy."
Jacob kissed her then, cradling her face in his hands. He looked into her eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Bells. You're always there to keep me grounded."
She smiled. "Well, if I don't who will?"
"Amy."
She nodded.
***
Edward had shown Amy the events of the last week through images passed through his mind to hers. He sat on the edge of the bed. Taking her face in his hands, he touched his forehead to hers and a rush of images came crashing through. She saw Jacob, Bella, Edward, her mother, The Cullens . . . and Lucius. Darkness fell over her when his image came forth. She shuddered. However, every time Jacob's visage floated before her, a warmth spread across her and she felt alive and free and . . . . loved. There was something she really didn't understand and that was Edward. She could feel something there, on the outskirts of his mind, but he wasn't putting it forth. She broke contact by leaning back against the pillows. He had loosed her face, but now clasped her wrists. His hands were ice upon her skin and in fact felt like iron manacles. The memories were his. Not hers.
They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, and then Amy spoke.
"So, all that really happened…to me?"
"Yes," Edward responded. His voice low and soft. His amber eyes were like honey, and she averted her gaze.
"And you're a vampire?" she said, looking at the gray skies outside her window.
"Yes."
She looked back at him then, "Why I should I trust you then?"
He half-smirked. He let go of her wrists then and she had almost forgotten they were still in his grasp. The absence of his cold skin was prominent. She crossed her arms and waited for him to answer. He continued to gaze at her and he said, "You shouldn't, solely because of what I am, but I will say that I'm not like Lucius Manning the one who attacked you. I do not feed off humans. I do not try to possess them."
She thought for a moment. "What about Bella? It seems you possess her."
He shook his head ruefully. "No. No, I do not possess Bella. She possesses me. She is what keeps me living. She has given meaning to my existence. Without her, I am just a monster."
"You don't look like a monster."
"And Lucius Manning did?"
Amy wrinkled her forehead and folded her hands in her lap. She was getting restless lying in the bed all day. Amelia had insisted she get her rest, but she was done resting. Instead of answering Edward's question, she said, "Help me up." She held out her hand to him. He looked uncertain and said, "But your mother—"
"I need to get up. I'm going crazy."
He understood. Taking her hand, he held onto her as she pulled her legs over the side of the bed and placed her bare feet on the linoleum. She hissed at the coldness but went ahead and tested her legs. They were shaky, and she found herself leaning against Edward. When she started to take a step, her legs buckled beneath her and Edward caught her before she landed in the floor. "I really think you should—" he started again, but she waved him off. "Help me to the window," she said. She didn't realize how strong he was until he literally lifted her off her feet and placed her in front of the hospital room's window. They were on the fourth floor. The mountains loomed in the distance and a light snow had begun to fall. It certainly was a change from the rain, but then she thought, How do I know it has rained so much?
"What month is it?" she asked.
"November."
She nodded. "Has Thanksgiving come and gone?"
"No, it's a week away."
"I guess you don't celebrate," she said.
Edward chuckled. "Well, not in the way you would be used to."
"No, I guess not." She continued to stare out the window and then she turned to look at him. Her head came to his shoulder so she had to look up. He was gazing down at her with those honey eyes and she said, "Do you have feelings for me?" The question just came out. She didn't know why she asked it, but she felt like he was holding something back from her.
He hesitated at first. He turned his head to look at the falling snow and addressing their reflections in the window, he answered, "Yes. I care about you."
"Am I in love with you?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No, you love Jacob."
"Does he love me?"
He looked back at her then with a look in his eyes she couldn't distinguish and said, "Very much."
"Then why hasn't he come back to see me?" she said this in a soft voice and he could hear, feel the hurt.
He grimaced. "I can't say. Jacob Black is unconventional. He's complex for being such a rough individual."
"You don't like Jacob."
"Let's just say we don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things."
"Bella for one."
He looked at her. She shrugged, "The thoughts come to my mind. I try not to eavesdrop, but I can't help it sometimes. You and Bella have a lot going on inside yourselves."
It was like meeting her for the first time all over again. He really hoped she got her memory back. Soon.
"Me too," she replied answering his thought. He grasped her hand then and gave it a soft squeeze.
"I think the reason I feel so strongly towards you is because we have the same gift," he said.
"Or curse."
"Yes."
They stood in silence for a few minutes and then she said, "Help me to the bathroom?"
Edward hesitated. She laughed, "I'm not going to make you hold my hand while I sit on the pot or anything. Just help me to the door."
"Oh, okay. I can do that."
He helped her walk around the bed to the private bathroom and her legs were really still weak, and she walked like a 90 year old woman. He had a sudden flash of helping Bella at that age. Her feeble bones, her weak heart. She would die, and he would go on living. Suddenly, her desire to stop time for herself made sense to him. How could he spend another eternity without her? He would never find another Bella. He had spent a 100 years alone. He did not want to spend the rest alone after she died. His grip tightened on Amy and she gasped a little. He realized he was hurting her and he mumbled an apology. Flashes of what he was thinking flitted through her mind.
"You should respect how Bella feels," she told him.
"I do…And I think I'm beginning to see things from her perspective. Am I being selfish in NOT wanting her to die?"
"No. It seems to me you are being human. Who DOES want their loved ones to die? No one that really loves someone."
They reached the bathroom door and she smiled, "I can take it from here. Can you wait on me though? Help me back to the bed?"
"Well, I'll wait outside the room. My hearing is quite acute."
"Gotcha."
The door closed behind her and he hurried out to the hallway. A few minutes later, Bella and Jacob rounded the corner from the elevators. Bella's face lit up when she saw him, but Jacob's eyebrows pulled together and he looked none too happy to see the vampire there.
"Edward! What are you doing here?" Bella asked as she kissed him on the lips. He took her shoulders and gave them a squeeze.
"Yeah, Cullen, why are you here?" Jacob said, trying to bite back a string of profanities.
Edward looked at Jacob and said, "I thought we settled our differences at your house."
Jacob relaxed somewhat looking almost guilty but not quite. "Yeah, we did," he mumbled. Damn vampire. "But that doesn't answer my question."
"I was looking in on Amy. Making sure she was all right. I helped her to the bathroom."
"You did what?!" Jacob shouted. Bella put a hand on his shoulder and he quieted his voice, "The bathroom?"
"I just helped her to the door for Pete's sake," Edward bit out. "I'm waiting for her to call me so I can help her back to bed."
"Aren't there nurses who do that?" Jacob growled.
"Jake. You REALLY need to get a hold of yourself," Bella interjected. Jacob looked at Bella and knew he was being unreasonable. He nodded.
Edward hesitated a moment and then said, "I should tell you though that she knows what happened to her."
Jacob's eyes got wide. "Her memory? It's back?"
Edward shifted and realized he had probably dug himself a hole. "No…She asked me to tell her what happened and I did."
Jacob's face was one of pure rage. "You fuck!" he shouted and cold-clocked Edward upside the head. Edward was knocked a few steps back and Bella grabbed Jake, knowing that is wasn't the smartest thing to do. He was trembling. It took all her strength to push him backwards. She looked him in the eye which was hard considering he was almost two heads taller than she and gritted out, "YOU HAVE GOT TO GET CONTROL." He stared at her and she could see the sanity coming back. She turned to look at Edward who was running a hand through his hair and looking none the worse. Just then a steely voice addressed them and they all turned to see a pale and shaky Amy gripping the door jamb of her room, "Don't you dare attack Edward. He has been the only one was has been honest with me. I am not some fucking child who needs to be coddled. I asked for the truth and he told me." Her green eyes bore into Jacob's black ones and he felt sick to his stomach. This was not how he envisioned returning to her. Now, she thought he was some violent freak. And hell, maybe he was.
"Amy, I'm sorry—" he began and started towards her. She held up a trembling hand. "No, don't come any closer. Edward told me that I love you, but at this moment, I can't fathom the reasons why." Jacob's heart felt like it was being crushed. His temper. His fucking temper always got him into trouble. She continued, "And if you love me the way Edward says you do, you'll leave me alone for now. Come back when you're not throwing a tantrum." If she had slapped him, it would have felt better than her razor sharp words. He felt Bella's hand on his bicep. It was all he could do not to rush forward, take Amy in his arms and show her why they loved each other. He was an ass. Plain and simple. He nodded then.
"I'm sorry Amy. I'll be back. And we can talk," he said. He turned then and walked back towards the elevators. Bella gave Edward a look and he nodded, "Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." She then turned and rushed after her best friend.
Edward focused on Amy then who was pasty white. He couldn't believe the commotion hadn't brought the hospital staff, but they were at a pretty private part of the hospital, at the request of Dr. Watson, and there were not many patients on this wing. He was at her side in a second and he put an arm around her waist. Suddenly she started crying and he didn't even make the pretense of helping her walk. He just picked her up and carried her to the bed. He gently laid her down and pulled the blankets over her.
She continued sobbing and he brushed back her tangled hair that had matted to her forehead.
"Shhh. It's ok. I'm here. I won't go anywhere," he said. He pulled up a chair and sat by her bedside.
"I felt it Edward. I felt it," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Felt what?" he asked. She grabbed his hand and rolled over to look at him.
"Jacob. His essence. His soul. He was searching for mine."
She hiccupped and Edward waited. "But I don't think he'll find it. I think Lucius sucked it out of me."
To be continued . . .