My dearest Belor,
You must sit down with Rumil and find a compromise. Knowing you, you have the ability to talk them out of this. Do not stop until they agree. If you feel that you are alone in this, always remember that there is someone for you here across the continent. The letter I recieved from you two weeks ago, I noticed a comma in a middle of a phrase. You've written 'My dearest, Tamara.' It changed the meaning. Did you intend this?
"One stroke and you've consumed my waking days." Tamara said, smiling and making her heart race as she recalled what he wrote there.
Anyway, as for my birthday, it is so kind that you remember. Thorin is not a lot of fun, but he has been treating me well and keeping me in comfort. Although, despite all of that, I doubt that he will remember that my birthday is nearing. I'm afraid that you cannot get me the one thing I want. I wish to travel around Middle Earth once more, and now as a queen, I cannot travel for leisure anymore. But if you really insist on getting me something for my birthday, I think that what you can do for me is take a break. My sister may be right with what she is saying. Political matters can be poisonous to the mind. Believe me, I see it in my husband everyday. For yours, Torunn's, and your child's sake, please take a break. Go with Torunn to the Blue Mountains, and spend time with her. It would be good for the both of you.
Tamara stopped at that, a sad smile gracing her lips.
With all my love,
Tamara
Just in time, Tamara heard her husband shift in their bed, the blanket falling off the bed to reveal a chiseled chest, and hair gracing it. Tamara immediately rolled her letter and sealed it before going outside and handing it to the raven that was waiting for her. Turning around and entering their bedroom once more, she jumped when she saw Thorin sitting on their bed, his elbows resting in his knees as he rubbed his face and groaned.
"What were you doing out there?" Thorin asked, and Tamara went to the table near the fireplace, where there was a tray of water and medicine for the king's headache.
"Am I forbidden to get some fresh air every once in a while?" Tamara asked, placing the tray on their bedside table and handing Thorin the medicine he needed. He drank it, cringing from the taste, and washed it down with water. Tamara sat beside him, resting her elbows on her legs.
"So, what happened last night?" Tamara asked, and Thorin groaned, falling back to the bed and pressing his hands on his forehead. "I take it that it did not go well." Tamara sighed, sitting cross legged on the bed and facing her husband. "Did you at least talk to her?"
"Aye, I did." He mumbled, and Tamara smiled.
"And?" She asked, excited to learn if her plan either worked or failed.
"And I told her to stay away from me." He said, and Tamara's smile dropped into a frown. Outside, the guards that were stationed could hear the outburst of the queen.
"WHAT?!" She shouted. It was followed by what sounded like a series of slaps. "YOU STUPID DWARF!"
-*-
Malkus entered the breakfast hall, annd saw that he was the only one there, except for the servants and guards that stood by.
"Is everyone else done?" He asked one of the servants, and the servant shook his head.
"You are the first one to arrive here, my lord." He said, and Malkus raised a brow.
"Huh." He said, sitting down and taking some of his food. Later on, Hosue entered, his strides long and quick to the table.
"Have you seen Helga?" Hosue asked, sitting down across his brother, who just shook his head no. He sighed at his brother's enthusiasm when it comes to eating. Give him food, and he won't be able to focus on a single thought. "She wasn't in her room when I knocked."
"So what?" Malkus said, stuffing his mouth with bread and eggs. "She's a grown woman. She can handle herself."
"You are as stupid as a mountain troll, you know that? And they call you a king! A king!" Was a voice that rung down the opposite corridor. The brothers turned to see the queen walking angrily towards the breakfast table, with the king behind her, shielding his eyes from the sunlight in the room. The king sat down at the head of the table, rubbing his temple. Tamara could not stand this anymore.
"Excuse me, gentlemen, but I will not dine with you this morning. I will eat my meal with Helga in her room." Tamara said, and she was about to head out when Hosue called her.
"Wait! Helga is not in her room!" Hosue said, and Tamara turned to look at the brown haired dragon rider.
"Then where is she?" Tamara asked, looking back and forth between Thorin and Hosue.
"We do not know. We have not seen her since last night," Hosue said, and they all looked at Thorin. "And as I recall, the last person she's been with that's in this room is you, Thorin."
"What happened last night, Thorin?" Malkus asked, standing to look at the dwarf king.
-*-
The moment Helga dropped face flat on her bed, she was not able to sleep a wink. Her mind raced back to the events of last night, where she had a taste of the dwarf king's lips. Oh, if Tamara knew, she would have her head! What she did could be punishable here in this kingdom, and Helga could not shake off the feeling that she has tainted herself in the eyes of the Company, even if they do not know. What she did was wrong.
But why did his lips feel so right on hers?
And those images she saw on her head did not help with her conflict. Was this not the first time she and the dwarf king shared a kiss? Did he not despise her? Was he not the one who told her to go away?
Suddenly, Helga realized that she would have him hate her rather than having him return the feelings she held for him, even though they cannot be together. It would pain her more to stay in this hopeless situation rather than to have Thorin spurn her. So early in the morning, Helga set out, wearing a tunic and trousers, heading to the library first. She went through the hallways, and through the aisles of shelves until she reached the small room thy used for their history lessons. She removed the stacks of books until she reached the book at the very bottom --a black leather bound journal that was worn out from use. They were saving that journal for last, but Helga needed answers. She wanted to silence her doubts immediately and be done with it. Carefully, she opened the journal, coming across the first few pages. It told her of how the Company was born, and when they set out for Erebor. There were small sketches, here and there, along with the entries. There were sketches for each of the members of the Company, and Helga recognized most of them, except for a male with curly hair, which she guessed was the hobbit. She saw a sketch of her dancing with Bofur around a hearth, a sketch of her nephews, and a sketch of her and Thorin. Helga stopped as she saw it. It looked like a balcony that overlooked Esgaroth and the rest of the lake. In the sketch, they were leaning on the raillkngs, looking into each others arms while she smoked a pipe, both of them screaming love throught their eyes. It occupied the whole page, and at the back, she saw a small scribble.
By the request of his Majesty, King Thorin Oakenshield.
Helga then felt tears falling from her eyes, but those tears didn't feel right. Helga continued to read, until she reached the page of her death.
Helga Skyrunner died in the arms of King Thorin Oakenshield. She had obtained these wounds while defending our Majesty from Azog the Defiler. There are no words to describe the sorrow of the king that day, for she was his betrothed, and was soon to be queen of Erebor.
"No, no, no," Helga muttered, crying from both cofusion and an unknown sadness. "This can't be me." Her knowledge about her and Thorin felt so surreal. It was hard for her to think that she was a woman of importance to the Company. It felt like that woman was a whole different person. Leaving the book open, sbe stormed out of the library, heading for the training arena.
Using a steel sword, she hacked and slashed at an imaginary enemy. With every blow downwards, she let out a shout, along with all of her frustrations. She did not even realize that there was already sunlight outside of the mountain until a voice interrupted her.
"Using a dummy wouldn't grant you any satisfaction, you know," A voice said, and she turned to see, out of all the crratures in Middle Earth, a red haired elf standing there. Helga just huffed and continued to hack away at the dummy, ignoring the elf. Judging by how she wore, she looked like an elf from Mirkwood, and even though she knows that it has been years since the Mirkwood incident, it felt like it happened recently. "If you're going to let your anger out through a sword, at least do it with some grace."
"Talk to me again, elf, and you'd get the fight that you're asking for." Helga muttered, thoughts of Thorin leaving her mind and replaced by the anger she felt at the elf.
"Then you are not the same woman I came across during your tme with the Company." If not for the elf's sharp senses and quick reflexes, she would have been wounded from the dragon rider's attack.
"Do not compare me to that woman on the journey with Thorin Oakenshield!" Helga exclaimed, landing blows on the elf, which she blocked without effort.
"You are not yourself, Helga!" Tauriel said, as she started to fight back, her moves graceful compared to the dragon rider's swings. Helga couldn't keep up with the elf's speed, and she ended up losing her weapon and pinned down under the elf's blade. Helga and the elf looked at each other, one trying to find a lost soul while the other glaring daggers. Helga then scrambled to her knees, running out of the training area, brushing past her cousin. He stopped Tauriel as she tried to go after the dragon rider.
"Don't," He said, holding Tauriel's arm. Hosue looked at the elf with an unreadable expression. "She lets out the frustration from a troubled mind through a sword."
"Why is she acting this way? I never really met her, but I can tell that she is not herself." Tauriel said, her brows furrowing.
"She has always been like this," Hosue said. "All of you expect her to be the Helga that journeyed with Thorin Oakenshield. None of you ever thought that to her, that Helga never existed. As much as she tries to bring it back, that Helga is forever lost to the world. What you're seeing now is Helga, the dragon rider who just lost her people and her dragon. It is a side of her that we have never seen before." Hosue explained.
"It is a shame. I always wanted to get to k ow her."
"I would not become too attached to her, if I were you." Hosue told her.
"And why is that?"
"My brother and I will be leaving soon, and we will be taking Helga with us." Hosue said, as he started to walk away, but Tauriel went after him.
"Why will you take her? She belongs here!" Tauriel exclaimed, and Hosue instantly turned to her.
"My cousin does not belong here! This place has brought her nothing but pain and anguish. If her dying for that undeserving dwarf is not a good enough example, then I do not know what else is. She is better off away from this mountain and away from Thorin Oakenshield, and I would drag her away if I had to." Tauriel was taken aback by the words of Hosue. He usually was calm and collected, and she never knew that Helga's cousin felt this way. Tauriel looked back at the retreating form of the dragon rider, praying to the Valar to shed some light on this turmoil.
-*-
Helga was sitting on the stone raillings of the balcony, deep in thought, when her cousin saw her.
"There you are," He said, going beside his cousin, setting down the bag he brought to his side. "I've been looking all over for you." He said, and Helga did not answer.
"What seems to be the matter, cousin?" He asked.
"I am fine, Malkus. I just have a lot in my head right now." She said, and Malkus gently nudged her side.
"You can always tell me anything." Malkus said. There was a short silence before Helga spoke.
"Why are we staying here, Malkus?" She suddenly asked. "We are dragon riders --we live and breath the fresh air and the open fields. We do not cope in a hole underground." Helga said, looking into the distance.
"We could have left anytime, you know." Malkus said thoughtfully.
"Then what is stopping us?" Helga asked, and Malkus smiled.
"You seemed so happy with the Company. We haven't seen you for nearly a hundred years, Helga, and the first time we saw you smile was with them. We couldn't just ask you to leave." Malkus said, looking at his cousin, but she wasn't smiling. There was a long silence before any of them spoke.
"I wasn't supposed to tell you this. We were waiting for you to get your thoughts sorted out, but I guess you'd eventually figure out," Malkus said, and Helga still did not budge. "We found petrified dragon eggs in Gondor." Malkus said, and Helga slowly turned to her cousin, immediately.
"What did you say?"
"We only followed a hunch and rumors. We scouted Ithilien, and we found Dragon Eggs there, in a secluded and hidden underground cave. There were a lot in there, Helga, you should have seen it." He said, and he reached down for his bag and carefully brought out a large, black, egg. It was half the size of her torso, and Helga had to wrap her arms around it as Malkus gently handed it to her. Helga looked at it with glassy eyes and placed it on her lap. She rest her forehead on it, closing her eyes as she let her tears fall.
"They're just rocks at the moment, of course, but with your help, we can raise them once more --bring back the race of the dragon riders," Malkus said. "That is if you want to go."
"Of course I want to, but," Helga said, pausing and looking at the dragon egg on her lap. "You are right. The Company brings me happiness and I have grown close to them. I do not know how to say goodbye."
"We do not have to leave immediately," Malkus assured her. "We can stay until Prince Fili's wedding, if you want." Malkus suggested, and Helga smiled.
"Fili is getting married?" She asked, and Malkus laughed.
"It's what everybody's been talking about these past weeks!" Malkus exclaimed, and looked at his cousin, who seemed deep in thought.
"I will think about our departure, cousin. Give me time."