Appearances May Often Deceive
Thanks for all the great reviews! I love reading your comments :D I always reread your reviews when I get writers block, or get stuck. They always inspire me, and force me to keep going, because I know how eager you are to read the next chapter. So thanks ;D
Author's Notes : Okay, I'll admit that I have been putting off writing this chapter, because I don't want to pull Mike away from Pemberley anymore than you do. But you all knew this was coming. I even gave you a heads up in the last chapter. So please don't be mad at me. :( I hate to write angst, the fight at Hunsford was the worst. But it had to be done. Sorry for posting later then usual, but I wanted to make sure those scenes were what I wanted them to be. I have been reworking them all week (see I told you I hated writing angst).
Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice, its characters, names or its locations.
Chapter 12
We were all gathered around the Darcy's family room, watching old home movies. Jaime requested we watch the homecoming video. He said he wanted to relive the glory of his game winning touchdown. They put in the video, and the first thing we saw was Katie in her cheerleading uniform, smiling and waving at the camera. The video showed her, and the cheerleading squad, performing one of their routines. At one point they threw her up in the air, along with two other girls. The video went on to show snippets of the game and the crowd cheering and doing the wave. Then Katie took over the camera during the half time parade. The freshman, sophomore and junior floats went by, with Katie not really taking any notice. Katie just focused the video camera on the last float in the procession, the senior float. As it got closer, you could see it had a Mardi Gras theme. As the float approached, the screams from the crowd were getting louder and louder. The float was packed with students wearing jeans and T-shirts with the words seniors in green and gold letters across the front.
Then it became apparent why the crowd was reacting so enthusiastically towards them. They were throwing Mardi Gras beads out into the crowd. Some students were even running down from the top of the bleachers to try and catch some. The seniors were dancing and screaming, not singing, along to the music they had been blaring. There was so much screaming going on, from the crowd and the seniors, that I couldn't even tell what song it was.
Then Katie zoomed the camera in to focus on none other then Amy, who was front and center on the float. She was laughing and smiling as she danced along to the music with her friends, and tossed the beads out into the crowd. It was odd to see her so young and carefree. With no responsibilities, and before tragedy had ever struck her life. I couldn't help but wonder about that girl. Would I have liked her then? Or is knowing what she went through and everything she has done since, what makes me admire her now? I honestly don't know. I can't say I would have liked her better back then. Before life changed her.
Suddenly, certain things made a lot more sense. Like how she had said at the beach, that one of her faults was being able to walk away and not look back. I remember thinking she was probably heartless if she could walk away from something so easily. But now I remember her reasoning was life was just too short to waste on things that made you unhappy. Of course she would see life in such a way. Her father's life was cut short. It was taken away in an instant, with absolutely no warning. So of course it would cause her to see life in such a black or white manner. If you're unhappy, walk away because something bad can happen at any moment, and you might not have years, weeks or even days left. So you shouldn't waste your time being unhappy because you never know what can happen.
I turned and looked at Amy and she just shrugged. She was blushing, and obviously a little embarrassed from the video. I don't know why. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. But I guess we all cringe at times when we remember how we were in our youth. I just smiled at her and she smiled back, as we returned our attention to the video.
The next video Jeff put in was of his high school graduation. The video started with a shot of the Darcy's front yard. Then Amy walked out the front door in a white dress with pink flowers. She spotted the camera and smiled. The person behind the camera said, "There's my girl," as she ran up to stand in front of the lense, smiling.
"Where's your brother? We have to leave soon," the man behind the camera asked.
"He's trying to hide a beach ball and a can of silly string in his pants," Amelia said in a hushed tone, as the camera started to shake while the man behind the camera laughed.
Everyone in the room laughed along with him at Amelia's disclosure. Jeff just shrugged nonchalantly and smirked.
The camera then cut to Amelia and her father. He was carrying her, and they were talking to the camera.
"Okay, Amelia. What are you going to do when they call out Jeff's name?" Mr. Darcy asked. Amelia started clapping and screaming at the top of her lungs.
Then Mrs. Darcy's voice could be heard from behind the camera saying, "You're not really going to do that are you?"
Mr. Darcy responded by saying, "Are you kidding? Of course she is! We've been practicing all week!" while Amy nodded in agreement.
"Ugh huh. Daddy said we're going to do it together. Right daddy?" Amy asked.
"Right honey," he said as he kissed her cheek while she smiled. The bond they shared was undeniable. It was like they were the only two members of a secret club. They both smiled for the camera with the same sparkling brown eyes.
Mr. Darcy seemed like a kind and loving man, with an heir of mischief that Amelia seemed to have inherited. He didn't seem like a man who took himself too seriously. I wished I had a chance to have met him. I think I would have really liked him. I ventured a look over at Amelia and saw she was smiling at the screen. I was glad she had reached the point where she could remember her father without being reduced to tears.
I turned my attention back to the screen and Jeff walked out the front door in his graduation gown and hat. He was smiling as the camera zoomed in on him. Mr. Darcy put Amelia down and she ran up to Jeff.
"How many balls were you able to fit in your pants?" Amelia asked Jeff.
You could hear Mrs. Darcy gasp from behind the camera, as she addressed her daughter, "What did you just say!?"
Amelia opened her mouth to answer, but Jeff was standing next to her, and put his hand over her mouth.
"Nothing. We have to leave now, if we're going to find parking. Come on Mia," Jeff said as he picked her up and started whispering in her ear while he walked toward the car. Amy smiled and nodded conspiratorially at Jeff.
"What did you tell her?" Christine asked him.
"I told her not to ruin the surprise," Jeff replied as he looked over at Amy and smiled in remembrance.
When the video was over, Mrs. Darcy and Katie were looking at the other videos in the cabinet. Mrs. Darcy pulled one out and said, "Lets watch Amelia's home movies from Africa."
I noticed Amy's back immediately stiffened and her face went blank. Everyone else in the room smiled and nodded in agreement as Mrs. Darcy's walked over to the TV.
"I didn't know you had home movies from your time in Africa," I told Amy. I was trying to figure out why her mood had changed so suddenly.
"Yeah, well, a couple of us had brought along some digital camcorders. And we combined our footage on our laptops to make DVDs to send to our families," she replied without looking at me.
"Well that was nice of you," I remarked.
"Yeah, well, communication wasn't that great. And we wanted our families to know we were alright. And what we were doing," she replied with no emotion.
The DVD started with shots of a group of people leaving the airport in a van. The group consisted mostly of men, with the exception of Amelia and one other woman. The video then cut to two jeeps being loaded with backpacks and supplies. By the looks of the jeeps, it was obvious they planned to travel in heavy terrain. Probably through mud and unpaved roads. It was dark outside, so my guess was it was probably the early morning hours.
Some people were talking to the camera, then it cut to Amy wearing a man's jacket, several sizes too big, clutching a cup of coffee with both hands. The camera zoomed in on her face. You could tell she was still half asleep. Her eyes were like slits, barely open. Then the guy behind the camera asked, "So Amy, are you excited to go out on safari?"
"Do I look excited? I don't think I even want to know what kind of animal would be awake at five o'clock in the morning," she managed to get out before she yawned. We all couldn't help but laugh at her response and the expression on her face.
I turned to her and asked, "You had time to go on safari?"
"Well, it was a day's journey from the airport to the village. So they decided to leave at five in the morning because they said we'd have a better chance of seeing some wildlife. So I guess we just hoped we'd be lucky enough to see some animals on our long drive. We only stopped a few times to observe them," she replied.
I turned my attention back to the TV and saw some shots of giraffes and elephants, and some other animals I had never heard of. There were also a few scenes of Amy and her companions joking around inside the jeep, during their long drive to the village. When they finally arrived, I could see little huts in the background. They looked like they were made of mud and straw. But the jeeps parked in front of two structures that were more modern. They were simple buildings, but structurally sound. Made of materials we would use for buildings here.
I turned to Amy and asked, "What are those buildings used for?"
"One is a hospital, and the other is an orphanage," she replied.
"Did you have electricity?" I asked.
"Solar. And the hospital has a generator," she answered, still not looking at me as she spoke.
The next portion of the video showed the volunteers building a school, and there were several scenes of them interacting with each other. At one point, Amy was shown sleeping on a cot, zipped up inside a sleeping bag. She looked so beautiful, peaceful and serene. That is until she opened her eyes and saw the camera in her face. She groaned and hid her head inside her sleeping bag and started yelling, "Peter! If you don't turn that camera off right now, I'm going to put you in the jeep and drop you off in the middle of the Sahara! So Mufasa, Simba and Nala can eat away at your flesh, and leave your bones for the hyenas!"
The room erupted in laughter at Amelia's outburst.
"Well, aren't you a little Miss Sunshine in the mornings," a guy I assumed was Peter replied.
"Peter!" Amy yelled with her face still hidden, as she desperately tried to kick him through her still zipped up sleeping bag.
"All right!" Peter said as he turned off the camera.
The DVD moved on to another scene as Amy suddenly stood up, and walked over to Jeff and Christine. Danny had been fighting a losing battle to stay awake. So Amy bent down and picked him up. Danny wrapped his arms around her and nestled his head in the crook of her neck, while sucking his thumb. Jeff instinctively stood up and walked with them as they left the room. He stood by the doorframe and watched them go up the stairs. I couldn't help but think something was wrong, by the concerned look Jeff had on his face.
I turned my attention back to the video and saw Amy was with several children. They were in a school room, and I could see Amy was trying to teach them how to count. They were smiling and waving at the camera. And they each took turns counting their fingers proudly. Then the video showed Amy and a man reading to the children. They were animatedly acting out the book they were reading. The man would read all the lines of the males in the story and Amy would do the same for the females. The children would laugh at their facial expressions, and how they would change their voice for each new character.
It was plain to see how much Amy loved those children, and how much those children loved her. She showed them the same love and affection that she showed Danny. And in return, the children showed her the same amount of love and adoration.
The video then moved on to show scenes from inside the hospital. There were sick children laying in beds, and some had tubes sticking out of them. Most of the children looked frail. Amy and the other volunteers were reading with them or playing games. Some were just talking to them, trying to comfort them and keeping them company. Now I knew what Karina meant about Amy not being prepared for what she would experience. I can't imagine the heartbreak they must have felt when some of those children passed away. It must have felt horrible to stand by knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it from happening.
The next scenes were of Amy trying to comfort the children, as the doctors vaccinated them. The moment a child was given the shot, usually resulted with them erupting into tears. Amy would pick them up, and they would wrap their arms around her. She would try to soothe them by talking to them in a low, calm voice. Just like she had done with Emily at Jacques'.
When it was all over, I was in awe. I never knew Amelia had such an incredible heart. This woman was amazing. I looked around and realized she still hadn't come back yet. Paul asked where Amelia was, and Jeff, who was still leaning against the doorframe of the family room, answered, "She just, uh," and pointed absentmindedly behind him toward the foyer, not elaborating on where she went.
Everyone else seemed to interpret that as Amelia having gone to the bathroom or something. But I noticed the concerned look on Jeff's face. I looked over at Mrs. Darcy and saw the same look flash in her and Katie's eyes. Something was wrong.
Mrs. Darcy tried to cover by standing up and asking who wanted dessert. Katie instantly offered to help and followed her out of the room. Jeff then turned and joined them. Now I knew something was wrong. So I got up and walked into the kitchen. I found the three of them standing around talking solemnly. I heard Mrs. Darcy say, "I just wasn't thinking," as they all turned and looked at me.
"What's wrong? Where's Amelia?" I asked them.
"She just stepped out for some fresh air," Jeff replied, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Why?" I asked, "Is there something wrong?"
Mrs. Darcy replied, "I just wasn't thinking. I put in the video, not realizing it was going to upset her."
"Why did it upset her?" I asked.
Mrs. Darcy sighed and said, "She just learned on her recent trip to Africa, that some of those children in the video have since pasted away."
"Oh," I sighed.
"We didn't think she would get upset at seeing the video, because we've seen it several times before. But we didn't think about the fact that she just recently learned that those kids she was close to, didn't make it. And she is still dealing with the fact that their little lives were cut short," Katie replied.
"Oh," I hadn't thought about that either. I had wondered why she didn't discuss her recent trip to Africa. And I wondered why no one ever brought it up. But I never thought this was the reason. No wonder she looked so uncomfortable watching the video. She was still grieving. This loss was still fresh in her mind. I could only imagine how she must have felt when she arrived at the village, and learned that some of the children she had grown to love were now gone.
Then it dawned on me that Karina had said Amy would disappear every time she became emotional after her father's death. She would either go for a walk or lock herself up in a room. This was obviously why they were all concerned right now. They all knew how she handled her grief.
"Do you think she'll be alright?" I asked.
Mrs. Darcy just shrugged, "Amelia has never been one to express her emotions. She has always bottled them up inside of her. Even as a child, she rarely ever cried. I remember taking her to get vaccinated as a toddler. When the doctor poked her with the needle, all she said was ow. Then she pressed her pouty lips together and frowned at the doctor. She gave him a look like, what did she ever to do him, to cause him to poke her with a needle. The doctor was completely amazed. He said in all his years, he had never seen a toddler react that way. She was the only one who didn't scream or cry. Amelia always bottles up, or tries to run away from the pain she is feeling."
We stood there quiet for a moment before Mrs. Darcy said she'd better get the dessert ready. As she and Katie started taking out the plates, I walked out of the room and towards the front door. I had to find her. She shouldn't be walking around alone at night, especially when she is in pain. I walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my jacket. As I was about to open the door, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jeff.
"I saw her grab her skates from the closet. So she's probably at the pond, down that way," he said as he pointed out the door.
I can't explain the look we gave each other at that moment. We both gave each other a slight nod. By which he was telling me, he trusted me to take care of his sister. And I was telling him that he didn't have to worry. I would take care of her. I wanted to. I felt honored that he would step aside, and would trust me enough to do this. He looked a little sad, like he was passing something he cherished over to me. He had said the other day that it would be hard for him to see his sister rely on a man other then himself. He had always felt that he was her protector.
I gave him another nod as I walked out the door. I headed in the direction Jeff had said. Before long, I had come to a clearing and I could see Amelia in the distance. The pond was illuminated by the full moon and the street lamps in the distance. As I approached, I could see Amelia skating around in circles with her head down, lost in thought. Then she started spinning around. It looked like she hoped to shake off whatever it was she was feeling inside, through her spins. She looked so beautiful as the moonlight shined down on her. Even with the crunching of the snow underneath my feet, she didn't hear me approach. When I got closer, I noticed she had tiny, white earphones in her ears. She was probably listening to an iPod she had in her pocket.
She finally looked up and noticed me. She stopped suddenly, and put both hands over her heart, as she took a deep breath. She pulled out her earphones and said, "You startled me."
"Sorry," I replied.
She caught her breath and asked, "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same thing," I answered.
She just looked down and skated toward the edge of the pond, "I just wanted some fresh air."
"Oh, I see," I replied as I walked over to her. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I had absolutely no idea what I should say to her.
She sat down on a log that was near the edge of the pond and started taking off her skates. She still wouldn't look at me. She just kept her eyes focused on her task.
"You know, you shouldn't be out here alone at night," I couldn't help but mention.
"I know, but I can take care of myself," she said reassuringly. I could tell she just wanted her solitude to deal with her feelings. It wasn't her intention to worry anyone.
"I'm sure you can. But there are a lot of people who care about you. Your house happens to be overflowing with them at the moment. You shouldn't give them cause to worry," I told her.
"That's why I came out here," I heard her mutter.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," she replied. I didn't pursue it because I knew what she had said, and what she had meant by it. She didn't want people to worry about the fact that she was hurting inside.
"So why did you leave?" I finally asked.
She just shrugged and said, "I don't know. I've just seen those tapes a hundred times before, that's all."
"You seem upset," I remarked.
She just shrugged again and continued to look down, "I'm fine."
"Why don't you ever talk about your time in Africa?" I prodded.
"There's not much to tell," she said with a sigh.
"Somehow, I doubt that," I stated.
I didn't want to upset her. But I felt she should talk about it. I couldn't help but think she would feel better in the long run. It would be good for her to get everything out in the open. So I took a different approach. I wanted her to focus on the good things that happened.
"Tell me about it. What was it like? I know you have a lot of happy memories. You were smiling throughout the video," I commented.
She just shrugged and looked out into the distance. I could see she was fighting with her emotions. Her eyes were on the verge of tearing up.
"How bout just one? You have to have one happy memory," I continued.
She took a breath and finally started, "One day I was with the children as they played outside. One of the little boys picked a flower and walked over and gave it to me. I thanked him and put it in my hair. For whatever reason, the children were fascinated by this. They all came up to me and told me how pretty I looked with the flower in my hair. And then . . ." she said as her voice started to break. She was having trouble continuing with the story. Her eyes were welling up with tears. I placed my hand on top of hers and squeezed it.
"And then?" I prompted.
"And then . . . everyday after that . . . all the children would each bring me a flower every time they saw me," she said with a smile as a tear rolled down her cheek. The tears finally started to flow, and she pulled her hand away from my grasp. She covered her face with her hands and I saw her shoulders start to shake. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and brought her to my lap. She buried her head in my neck as I rubbed her back with one hand, and stroked her hair with the other.
"It's alright. There is nothing wrong with missing the people you loved," I whispered into her ear.
I slowly rocked her back and forth until her tears finally subsided. I don't know how long we sat there, but after a while she finally sat up. She took a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her face. She looked into my eyes and said, "Sorry," in true sincerity.
"There is absolutely nothing to be sorry about," I told her as she just sat there looking at me.
"Come on, I'm sure you have other stories," I told her.
She looked at me hesitantly, but I wanted her to be able to talk about it without erupting into tears. I wanted to comfort her and help her with the pain she was feeling. Even if it took years to accomplish, I was willing to try.
"Come on, tell me more," I said with a smile.
She regarded me for a moment, before she told me about a little four-year-old boy in her class. She said for three days he wouldn't speak to her. She would ask him questions and try to engage him in conversation, but he wouldn't say a word. He would just sit there and stare at her, almost as if he were frightened. At the end of the third day, the children were leaving and saying goodbye to her. Some would stop to give her a huge before leaving. Then the little boy approached. He stood there and looked at her for a second, before he put his arms out for a hug. She was completely surprised, but she smiled and hugged him. When she let go he smiled and said, "Bye Amy," and left.
She had the biggest smile on her face as she finished the story. We just sat there and continued to talk. The cold didn't matter because we kept each other warm. I loved the feeling of holding her in my arms. I have no idea how long we stayed there. Eventually we got up and walked back to the Darcys hand in hand.
As we stepped onto the porch, I stopped and turned to look at her. This was it. I couldn't resist anymore. I had to kiss her. I still had her hand in mine so I pulled her towards me. She didn't resist. She just smiled as I put my other hand on her shoulder to pull her against me. I lowered my head and rested my forehead on hers. Our noses were touching and right as I was about to capture her lips, I left something rubbing against my leg. I instantly smiled thinking it was Amelia, but quickly realized it couldn't possibly be Amelia.
I disengaged our foreheads and glanced down to see Amelia's damn cat looking up at me.
"Meow," the cat said as it looked me directly in the eyes.
Ah, great! Perfect timing! The stupid cat was obviously exacting its revenge because I woke her up from her precious sleep yesterday!
"We have a visitor," I said in frustration.
Amy looked down and said, "Hi Ferrari. How did you get out here? It's freezing."
"Ferrari!? Who would name a cat Ferrari?" I asked in disbelief.
"I did," Amy said with a smile.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Pet her," Amy said as I stared at her. She put down her skates, bent down, picked up the cat and repeated, "Pet her."
So I did. As soon as I did the cat started purring really loudly. The cat was loving it.
"See. She purrs just like an engine," Amy said with a smile. I just laughed because she was right, Ferrari was the best name to describe this cat. Amy finally put down the cat, and I took a step closer to her.
"Well at least you didn't name her Toyota or Mitsubishi," I remarked as I placed my forehead against hers, again.
I lightly rubbed my nose against hers, as I lowered my mouth to capture her lips in the sweetest, most tender kiss I had ever experienced. I don't know how long we stood there but it was heaven.
We were forced to pull our lips apart when we suddenly heard the front door flung open, and John and Katie came running out onto the porch.
"Oh there you are!" John said in relief.
"What's wrong? Has something happened?" I said. John had his cell phone in his hand and looked incredibly worried. I knew something was wrong.
John nodded as he said, "It's Leo. He's been in an accident," while trying to catch his breath.
"What kind of accident?" I asked.
"A car accident. He's in critical condition," John replied.
Amy and I were still holding each other, and we both instinctively held each other tighter as the words came out of John's mouth.
Amy quickly asked, "What hospital is he at?"
"He was air lifted from the scene, to Meryton Hospital's Trauma Center," John replied.
"Meryton Hospital? The helicopter took him from Brighton all the way to Meryton?" I asked in confusion.
"No, they flew him from Longbourn to Meryton," John answered.
"Longbourn? Why was he in Longbourn? He was supposed to be in Brighton with his buddies," I asked in confusion.
"They were, but the hotel they were staying at asked them to leave because rowdy and unruly behavior. They weren't able to get rooms anywhere else, so they had to come back home," John replied.
"And that is when the accident happened?" I asked.
"No. Apparently Leo and his buddies decided to throw a party since they had the house all to themselves. Leo knew everyone would be coming home on Sunday. So I guess he figured he'd have time to clean up before mom and dad got home. Anyway, Leo left the house to buy more beer. And it seems he hit a patch of ice or something, because of the snow, and slammed into a tree," John finished.
"More beer!?" I asked incredulously.
John nodded solemnly, "Apparently had been drinking. His car plowed toward a car full of people. But they were able to swerve at the last minute, so he just ran them off the road. They were the ones who called 911."
I instantly felt Amelia's body stiffen in my embrace. How could he have been so stupid!? He could have killed somebody! He could have killed himself! Heck! He could have killed several people including himself! The idiot! How could he be so irresponsible!?
I turned to look at Amelia. Her eyes were glazed over, like she was lost in thought. She was probably reliving the nightmare of her father's death all over again. Oh Leo! What have you done!?
"We have to go!" John said.
"Yeah," I replied.
I finally noticed everyone was standing in the foyer by the door, not wanting to interrupt as John broke the news to me. Jeff stepped out and offered to drive us. We thanked him but declined. All the Bingleys stepped out with their coats on ready to leave. I finally let go of Amelia and sadly said good bye before John and I quickly made our way down the driveway, and over to his car that was parked next door.