Chapter Summary
April and Will haven't seen each other in months and it seems like the pair are not going to find their way back to each other but a not so chance meeting allows for a possibility between them but will they take it?Chapter Notes
Thanks to the three people that followed this but that's it! Sextead or bust! LOLApril couldn't get the image of Will maybe or maybe not being at the hospital out of her mind. She could've sworn it was him and the idea thumped around in her head. Eventually it made her move her hand, and then her fingers, to dial his number. Her finger circled the call button over his name in her contact list; teasing the touchscreen causing it to light and then go dark.
She said that she wanted him to find her and she meant it. He had to be the one to seek her out;to show that he had forgiven her, that he'd let go of his anger.
She wasn't ready to move on with anyone new; regardless of where he was in his life, but just thinking about him with someone else hurt and that was a clear indicator for her that she would still wait, but even still; she missed him.
She missed his laugh, she missed the way he would walk up behind her, almost out of nowhere, always watching, always hovering like a guardian. It made her feel safe and she missed his touch; soft, delicate, and sensational.
But during the months of the foursomes' friendship it had all but dissipated. His laughter deadened because of all the envy and emotional chaos. His watchfulness had turned into a glare. His touch transformed now rough and hasty to deliver his pain.
She contemplated all of it and realized that anyone sane would stay away, but she still had to know where they stood. Her own torment had to end as well. She couldn't be stuck fixating over shadows and ghosts of a man that may have wanted absolutely nothing to do with her anymore. Her pointer finger trembled over the digital button before she pressed it. Each vibration and ring made her hold her breath before finally the messaging system began. Hearing the sound of Will's voice made her heart pound and she thought about not leaving a message but courage forced her voice.
…
Will stepped out of the shower massaging the towel through his wet hair as the beads of water quickly ran to each other and then dripped off his body; some hanging for dear life to the hairs on his legs.
The shower was invigorating after a good run. He'd made a ritual of running in the mornings. It had eased his tension after the first time he and Natalie made love and it was an aid when he was dealing with his anger for April; a solution that had now turned into a hobby.
He needed it; especially after the overwhelming feeling of seeing her again. He had thought about her during his run and the immense feeling of seeing her face, her hair, her glowing skin; hearing her laugh. It had all been so much to process even after having no contact with her for months on end.
Why did his heart break and restore at the exact same moment when he saw her? What kind of person could have that effect on someone?
He could keep running hoping that he could outpace it or he could make a decision and let her go, let her be happy, and not see her again. But would he be doing it for her or himself? Will could find a love that was safer less scary.
He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked across the hall to his bedroom. The light on his phone was blinking and the signal caught the corner of his eye as he was getting his clothes from the drawer. He sat down on the bed flipping the phone over to see the missed call and voicemail notification. His heart skipped a beat at the name and quickly his mind went to his near sighting at the hospital.
"Did she see me?"
He wasn't ready then and he wasn't ready now. He swiped the notification away and got dressed before going into work; her faint presence humming in the back of his head.
After his shift when he arrived home he was tired and weary from pulling a double. Will would repeat that schedule again and again and it would be days later before his thoughts carried him to his phone to the voicemail he was avoiding.
Finally after getting a day off, and taking a run to clear his head, his thoughts concluded that he needed to let April go. He'd picked serenity, safety, and really cowardice over her.
He stared at his phone like a foreign object he thought about deleting the message and not listening to it, after all he had made his decision, but then he realized that it might be the last time he would hear her speak so with great trepidation he pushed the number one down on his phone listening to the robotic secretary.
You have one unheard message;
"Hi Will, it's me. You probably already knew that though….Funny thing, I could've sworn I saw you the other day when I was at work and I thought that finally you had decided to see me…but I guess not…"
He could hear the light and casual laugh between her pauses like she was smiling until she got to the end and her tone transitioned and the sadness traveled through the phone.
"It's been months and people only need that kind of time if they are working through their stuff and hoping to get over things…. or people…and I think that it's the latter with you. I had hoped you would seek me out in some way sooner or later but it's clear that you're not going to. I really wish things could've been different, truly…..so…..take care yourself Will."
It was only at the end of the message when he heard his phone beep and the list of commands began for the message that he realized he had been holding his breath; and then the panic set in. He thought he wanted to let her go, but hearing her voice, and knowing she had finally given up made him feel like the tether he had to her had been completely was free falling and it pushed a jolt of energy in him that he couldn't have anticipated.
He flew out of his bedroom door, tumbling down his stairs to the living room, speeding past Ryan sitting on the couch, finally leaping down the stairs of his brownstone. He was running between his attempts at trying to catch a cab before one finally caught him.
His legs twitched and bounced in the car as irrational thoughts of being able to outrun the rate of the cab went through his head.
He was almost to her house hoping and praying to god and all the gods he'd made up that she was home. He made it up the elevator and to her door knocking rapidly and repeatedly. His breath still labored as the knob twisted opening the door.
There she stood; her hair in brilliant waves, the length shown through its newly straightened status, all of it framing her perfect face, and extensive neck, her eyes wide at his appearance.
"Will," April's voice was slightly hollow, confused, but surprised.
He stared at her a moment before saying,
"It was me... I was there, at the hospital…your hospital."
She blinked recalling the fleeting moment she thought she saw him; wishing that he would find her. Instead she searched his eyes hoping that somewhere deep within in him was the same need she had to be together but he looked almost panicked, conflicted, and confused.
"Please," April opened the door wider to let him in.
She felt a strange worry. April really had no idea what he was going to say; and the last time they had actually seen each other the exchange was frenzied, raw, and heartbreaking and here he stood in her house with almost the same look in his eyes minus the anger.
"Can I get you something to drink?" April said turning to him.
She didn't know what else to do or say so she relied on cordiality and manners. Will nodded in the familiar way she was used to so she filled two glasses with water before sitting across from him in her living room. They drank the water in an eerie silence slightly tense with anticipation but muddied with nervousness.
"I got your message," Will said breaking the silence but not the eye contact he was trying to make with her.
She had been staring at a small stone elephant statue on her coffee table hoping to get lost in the swirls of the marbling and flee from the thoughts of his visit; a visit that could very well end it all. She gave a small nod still looking at the elephant her eyes traced its back, a small crack that lead to the figurines ears.
"I've done a lot of thinking and just doing a lot of work to try and get over everything; mostly my anger with you." He was growing concerned that she wouldn't look at him.
"I had to forgive myself for the mess I put Natalie in and you too; I think that I've been able to do that."
He was trying to connect to her but she still was looking at that damn elephant. He continued.
"And I know I already apologized but I need to say I'm sorry again…about the on-call room, you've been through a lot and it was insensitive of me."
Will's head was in a slant to the side still trying to get her to look at him his concern growing into a frustrated intrigue.
"April-," Will said slightly gruffly.
She got up quickly her eyes darting back and forth as she tried not to cry. She felt like he was making peace to an end. It was okay if he didn't want to be with her; actually it wasn't but she understood. She could deal with his absence but Will showing up just to tell her that he had mended himself and was ready to move on without her felt like a million pounds crushing her. He stood up slowly tracing her steps as she got closer to the kitchen.
"I saw you that day at the hospital but I just…I couldn't say hello I just knew that-,"
"-Will you really didn't have to come all this way to tell me that you were done," April said trying but failing at keeping her sadness hidden.
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and put her glass in the sink.
"A phone call would've worked," she said looking down.
He had moved into the kitchen and she felt like there was now no way to hide her pain. The invitation to his world was mailed again when she heard his laugh, deep from within him, a laugh she hadn't heard in a long time.
"I didn't come here to tell you I was done." Will moved closer to her getting her to turn and face him.
She felt foolish but she'd had so much heartbreak she didn't dare to even jump to the obvious conclusion. A lonely tear slid from one of her eyes as he gently used his hand to tilt her chin up to face him. She finally looked him in the eyes.
"Then why are you here?" April asked meekly.
"To find you," he said leaning in to kiss her.
When her lips met his it was almost surreal; an action that didn't seem like it would ever happen again, but here they were his lips; soft and grazing hers before pressing against them. It was reminiscent of their first kiss and more so when his other hand glided up her neck until both hands cradled her chin.
He didn't even realize the magnitude of what he was cradling, more than her face; he was cradling her heart and their world in those hands; in that kiss. Her hands slid up his arms overlapping her fingers in the small spaces and gaps between his own and the kiss deepened.
His tongue entered her mouth first and a warm light burst through her body tingling down to her toes. Her tongue converged with his lightly dancing slowing and then escalating. They both pulled away simultaneously realizing where their kissing was headed but not knowing if they should cross that line again.
"I don't know if we should-," April started.
"-I know," Will said his breath labored and matching hers.
There was an odd disparity in their tones the physical need for each other was not paralleled to their need to be responsible in the moment. They didn't just want each other they needed the other like a machine that couldn't properly function without the pieces being put together. April cracked first pulling Will's face to her and kissing him again. He returned the feeling with the same enthusiasm as he could feel her tug on the loops of his jeans.
"I want to….I need to," she said as he broke away.
He could never say no, not to being with her. He nodded and kissed her again as she used the hold on his jeans to pull him to her bedroom.
He moved the soft fluffy waves of hair from her neck to plant tiny delicate kisses down the tower of brown skin. He stopped only for a moment to inhale the smell of her; the coconuts, vanilla, and her perfume light like candied strawberries laced with the cedar orange zest of his own fragrance merged as he stared at her. She stopped to look at him too. His dark eyes hung in admiration at her they were gentle as he no longer felt fear just safety. He smiled unable to contain his joy and the contagion carried to her as the grin mirrored her face.
He pulled the tank top she was wearing up and over her head revealing the perky uncovered breasts underneath. Miles upon miles of warm-dark skin glowed and radiated expressing the complete feeling April had inside. When she tugged up and then pulled off Will's shirt she was taken aback at the lean frame underneath. He was still in good shape but more sinewy then before; the result of months of running; running to relieve to his stress, his pain, and then ultimately running to her.
She slowly tickled and traced her fingers down each nook, bump, and ridge of the muscles on his chest, stomach, and shoulders. She touched him like she needed to know he was real. A closed mouth smile stretched across Will's face as he watched her discover him again.
"What?" he asked almost as if he didn't realize the answer.
"You're beautiful." April answered simply and precisely.
He smiled again pulling her by the back of the neck to kiss her again and then pushing her down on the bed and rolling on top of her.
"I am not the beautiful one here," Will said kissing her cheek then working his face towards her neck and chest before wrapping his mouth around a pert nipple.
He focused there sucking and flicking it with his tongue before she rolled them over and positioned herself on top.
She wanted to do something to him that she never had, something she never thought she could. She let her fingernails run down his stomach lightly scratching the ripples; sending shocks of pleasure all the way up his neck, and through his groin that began to stiffen at her proximity to it.
When April undid his pants she had to use both hands to get ahold of its width. She felt like a snake practically unhinging her jaw to consume it. The wet-warmth from around her mouth immediately sent tingles to Will's pelvis as he tried to contain it but a loud groan escaped from him as more and more heat traveled the length of his dick. He let her go as long as he could possibly stand before coming undone.
Will pulled her off of him; he wanted to finish inside her. He let her straddle him as he pressed his hips up into her pulling her down into the momentum.
"Will," she moaned; her tone growing louder as she grinded into him, "WILL, WILL! WILL!"
"-Will!" Ryan yelled as he loudly knocked on the door to his bedroom.
The phone was still in his hands the digital secretary repeating the list of commands to archive, save, or delete the message. Maybe all of that could've happened, maybe all of that would've happened, it probably should've happened if he had not still been sitting like a stone on the edge of his bed; his fantasy disrupted by Ryan calling his name and not April.
"Hey, sorry to bug you I have to head to the jeweler's but afterward I'm stopping to get some shawarma, do you want anything?" Ryan asked, he looked almost concerned
Will's eyes were far and away.
"Uh- yeah sure just get me whatever you're getting," Will answered snapping back into reality.
Will had made up his mind. He had made the decision to stay away and let her go and even though she was under his skin, in his thoughts, and could still make his pulse rise in more than one way he had peace and he was going to hold onto it. He deleted the message and got up handing Ryan some cash from his back pocket. He was making the right decision….right?
When Ryan returned he came with shawarma and Keerie. She didn't stay often, not since her apartment fire, but when she did Will tried to be out. He didn't want to embarrass either her or Ryan by telling them that he could hear them so he found another solution; earplugs. When he arose the next morning he was ready to go for a run. Will planned to ask Ryan if he wanted to go too, but he was in the kitchen with Keerie swinging her around as she wiped tears away from her eyes, but she was beaming.
"Is everything okay?" Will asked with an inquisitive smile.
"It's perfect," Keerie sniffled.
She raised her hand and flipped it over to showcase the shiny bauble on her ring finger. Ryan had asked her to marry him.
"Wow, congratulations guys," Will said walking over to shake Ryan's hand and then to bend down to give Keerie a hug.
Will decided to hold off his run to have a bit of breakfast with them to celebrate as Keerie had insisted.
"Ryan, can you grab that down for me?" Keerie asked pointing up and giving the pancake mix one last twirl of her spoon.
Ryan got up from the table and pulled down a griddle that was sitting all the way on top of the cabinets. He looked at it confused.
"I didn't even know we had this, this is a nice griddle Will," Ryan stated looking over to him as he wiped dust off of it.
Will cocked his head to the side realizing that it wasn't his, it was April's; the same one that she had waited to get a new piece for the day she put her hand in the box of used dentures. She must have left it in her hurry to leave.
"I think that belongs to April," Will said succinctly looking back down at his paper.
Ryan nodded and rinsed it off for Keerie to use. She finished cooking them all breakfast and they sat down to eat; being almost too lovey-dovey and cute for Will to handle. Keerie noticed him roll his eyes; she narrowed her own at him and said,
"You know Will I haven't seen Natalie in a while," she implored as Ryan kissed her cheek.
"That's because we broke up," Will admitted.
"Aw, I'm sorry, I liked Natalie," Keerie frowned.
"I did too but-," Will started.
"-But she wasn't the one," Ryan said cutting him off.
Will shrugged and nodded at Keerie as she looked up at Ryan and nestled her head in the gap of his neck.
"She's out there Will," Keerie stated lazily she sounded almost drunk off her own happiness.
"Yeah she is," Ryan said certainly his eyes widened then went small.
Keerie looked up at Ryan intrigued at his tone. Will let out a sigh and got up rinsing his plate and then thanked Keerie for making breakfast before telling the lovebirds to leave the rest of the dishes for him. He had abstained from eating too much. He still needed to run; his mind had wandered into the deep end with that little fantasy of April.
…..
Every time the phone rang April had hoped that it would be Will returning her call but as the weeks passed her hope dwindled. Hope soon turned to sorrow and one night after a phone call with her mother she flat out sobbed that it hadn't been him.
The rejection was felt and it ran deep but she had to respect his wishes and she realized this must've been what he wanted. She repeated that behavior a few nights in a row trying to return her sorrow to hope; a hope that she could heal and move on. She felt defeated and she needed to attempt to focus on something else to try and begin to piece together her broken heart. So she kept herself busy, working out, reading, and shopping.
After getting back from a grocery trip she used her free hand to pull out her keys to get the mail. She rode the elevator up to her place getting through her door and putting away her groceries. She plopped down on her sofa to go through the stack. Bill. Bill. Bill. Junk. Junk. Nothing remarkable until she got to a champagne colored envelope.
The presence of your company is requested at the behest of Ryan Casten and Keerie Jones
Saturday the 20th of May at
Room 1520
1520 W. Fulton St, Chicago, IL 60607
To join them in the celebration of their engagement.
April smiled at the invitation but then stopped as the thought of Will flew into her mind. There was a definite possibility that he would be attending too; it only made sense if she was invited surely he was as well. She went back in forth in her mind about whether or not she would go; always landing on no.
The week of the engagement party she'd stopped by to see her counselor to sign up for school. Seeing her high GPA and walking the halls of the building rejuvenated something inside her, she had goals a future a part from Will, a part from love, and she could focus again on that.
Her thoughts no longer went to Parker or her assault. The halls and labs reminded her of her strength and her determination. She had a future; she was going to be Dr. April Layton Sexton.
The night before the event she was dancing around her apartment celebrating signing up for school and getting her financial aid approved for the fall. April was finally getting her life back on track when she saw a yellow dress peeking from within her closet one she had never worn but brought back from Brazil when she visited for her aunt's funeral. Maybe it was the freedom felt from the music or the shots of rum she took while sashaying around her apartment but in that moment she decided she would go to that party.
The next day April awoke to the dress draped against a chair in her bedroom a reminder of her decision. The liquid courage was gone and the doubt was creeping in but she committed to it. There was always the slim chance that he wouldn't be there or that they wouldn't see each other at all.
These thoughts revolved around her head while she got dressed and ready to leave. April drove down to the venue and had a valet park her car before going up.
"This isn't about you, this isn't about Will," she whispered to herself, "Remember this is Ryan's night."
Will was stuck in a corner talking to yet another high-pitched voiced woman that couldn't be anyone other than a relative of Keeries'. All the women of her family had the same mice like squeak, and the room was steadily turning into a mischief as more arrived screaming and shrieking at Keerie's ring. He smiled and nodded sliding out of the conversation to escape and grab another drink from the open bar.
When he turned around his eyes gravitated toward the yellow-gold that stuck out in a sea of greys, blues, and hazy patterns. The glow of her skin against the dress muted everyone again, her hair flowing down her shoulders in long bouncy waves. She kept her jewelry minimal except a pair of studs that did nothing to disrupt the bareness of her shoulders or the sweetheart neckline of the dress. Will's heart began to race at the sight of her and he thought about running but any decision he would've made was thwarted when Ryan walked over with her.
"Hey look whose here!" he said ecstatically.
Will's cheeks flushed and so did April's; none of it lost on Ryan who had his arm around April's shoulder, and the other hand around Keerie's waist who seemed equally as happy to have April there.
"Hi Will," April said confidently.
It was more confidence than she actually had, dress or no dress, new hair or no new hair, it was Will and she was still in love with him and her heart was being held together with cheap scotch tape.
"April….it's good to see you," Will said nervously.
He had a smile on his face but it was an anxious one. Ryan let his arm fall from April's shoulder. His response hurt April. If he was trying to avoid her then this behavior was in line with it.
"Keerie I think your dad needs something," Ryan half mumbled as they walked away.
The familiar feeling of a set up was falling upon April and Will as he rolled his eyes at the realization and she looked away; another jab to fragile heart by Will's reaction. But they were there so she decided to be polite and stay for a moment April couldn't handle much more than that.
"How have you been Will?" April asked honestly.
"I've been good," he answered.
"You look good," April said almost apologetically.
It wasn't just a pleasantry it was the truth his wavy-fiery auburn hair was messy but it was a lovely juxtaposition to his fitted attire. Will didn't dress up often but tonight he had on a really nice sport coat, one that was tailored to the strong lines of his shoulders, and his shirt was fitted beautifully underneath his pencil tie. His smoke grey pants hugged his shapely thighs and barely skimmed the even shapelier package.
"Thanks," he said with a smile, "God so do you" he thought.
"I've been running a lot with Ryan." He admitted.
"It shows," April said trying to remain neutral.
She wanted to feel his chest to feel exactly what running was doing for him but it was off limits to her now so she tried her best to put her desire away. Will was watching her watch him and it allowed him to cover the tempted feel to remark at how amazing she looked in that dress. Like a golden statue. He broke up the building tension by casually asking,
"How have you been? How's the new job going?" he asked justly.
She thought of the memory of maybe seeing him there and she smiled to herself before replying. She wanted to ask if that was him but it was really a moot point if it was he'd made a decision not to make contact and the reminder stung. The scotch tape was slipping off.
"It took a little while to get used to, but it's going really well. It's a great teaching hospital so in a couple of years when I'm done with medical school I can start my training there," April answered enthusiastically.
"So when are you going back?" Will asked genuinely curious.
Her happiness was still very contagious and he couldn't help but smile with her at her news. April began to answer but then she caught sight of a familiar but not desired face popping up from the crowd. It was Brett; the reactionary hook-up who was the catalyst to her first blow up with Will, ultimately leading them to reveal their feelings for each other but that was not going to be the case again. This was an added complication she wanted nothing to do with. He saw her and they made eye contact.
"Um- I'm sorry I have to go," April said swiftly turning away.
She quickly excused herself to duck out. She decided she would find Ryan thank him for inviting her and then get the hell out of dodge.
Will stood a little confused, but ultimately he had to suck it up, after all he was the one that did not contact her, and at this point he'd made it pretty clear he wasn't going to. He watched the golden statue walk away; walk out of his life, and the first pang of regret hit him.
Ryan spotted April heading to the door as he realized she and Will were no longer in conversation. His plan was failing so he pulled out another trick.
"Hey April, you aren't leaving yet are you?" Ryan asked racing in front of her.
"Yeah," she answered apologetical, "I was just about to find you to say goodbye and to thank you for inviting me," April said diffidently.
"Can I ask you a favor?" Ryan started, "I drove Will and Keerie here but I underestimated the amount of champagne I was going to have. Do you think you can you take Will home?"
Before April could answer Ryan put two fingers in his mouth and whistled; grabbing Will's attention and sadly Brett's too. Will walked over with Brett not too far behind, trying to get through the clusters of people. April began to panic watching the two men walk her way. Will made it over first.
"April is going to give you a ride back to the house. I'm going to crash at Keerie's tonight so…," Ryan said not being too vague.
"I can always catch a cab home, you don't have to go out of your way," Will said rationally looking over to April.
"Yeah but this way she can get her griddle back," Ryan said using his last wild card.
"Oh, that's where that is?!" April said caught off guard.
Ryan nodded, "So let's get her reunited with that!" He exclaimed before Brett came up and intruded.
"Where are we going?" Brett asked enthusiastically but cluelessly.
Will looked to the stranger confused as April's cheeks burned and she darted her eyes away trying not to make eye contact with him again. She had to get out of there.
Ryan grabbed Brett's shoulders and turned him around, "We aren't going anywhere," he said sharply as he began walking them away but then he turned to April and Will.
"It was good seeing you April, hopefully I'll see you again before the wedding!"
April waved and smiled as she mouthed the words "thank you" at Ryan for getting Brett away from her, he winked and the group separated. She and Will walked down to the front of the building, April handed the valet her ticket and they waited in silence until her car arrived.
"Did you know that guy?" Will asked.
"Not really," April said looking away shamefully.
Not much was said in the car ride over. It was sad to April that even their friendship had been destroyed too. For Will's part he found himself doing the same stupid things he always had done but it was hard not to. She was so beautiful and she looked amazing. He was back to stealing looks from the corner of his eye.
They arrived at the brownstone. April parked her car and they walked up to his porch. Will pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door and walked in. He was setting his keys down and flicking the switch to the lights when he realized he was alone in his living room she hadn't even followed him in; April was waiting on his porch. He turned around with a small but perplexed smirk.
"April, you can come in," he said with a light laugh laced with a bit of confusion.
She shrugged as an insecure smile appeared across her face. The unwanted feeling had really spread to all parts of their relationship and for the second time tonight the weight of his decision hung upon Will. Immediately he felt regretful, it had all obviously gone too far if she didn't even feel welcome in his home, a place that was once her home too.
When she got into the house she headed to the kitchen like she was on a mission; looking around to get the griddle and then go. She'd had enough; she needed to go home and just cry. Will noticed the rushed look in her eyes as he was leaning against the archway watching her like he used to, realizing this may be the last time he would see her.
"I think it's on the top of the cabinet closest to the fridge," Will said quietly but still watching her.
April walked over but even standing at five feet eight inches with an extra two inches of high heels she still could not reach. She awkwardly hopped on her heels to grab the griddle down her frustration threatening the tape.
Will walked up behind her in the familiar way she was used to him doing at the hospital and grabbed the griddle down. His arm going over her shoulder to place the machine on the counter; the full weight of his body was pressed against her back. His arm was paralleled to hers almost resting on top of it; until it was. His breath against her neck made her sigh. It felt good, like home, but it was more of a warm bed before being forced to venture out to the cold and the realization was crushing her; the last of April's metaphorical scotch tape was falling away and her emotions couldn't hold still.
He let out an identical sigh as he let his hand intertwine with hers. They stood there with the stark realization that the last time they had been this close was in the on-call room. This could not be that.
"I miss you," he admitted remorsefully.
Slowly he let his chin rest upon the top of her head.
"Do you?" April answered almost accusingly.
The last of her confidence diminished; she was barely holding the tears back. She let his hand go and pulled away.
"You aren't the only one who's afraid April," Will admitted shamefully.
This wasn't fair and he should have known better than to toy with her like this. He'd had his chance to explain himself and he chose not to.
"I should go," she said trying to keep the tears in but they filled her eyes anyway.
"I don't want you to go," he said moving over to her.
He pulled her face in for a kiss and she returned it in before quickly pulling away.
"Don't do this to me," April said as the first tear fell down her eye.
"I need you," Will pleaded.
He pulled her back into the kiss; she was lost in it, in him, until she realized this may be all there was. It wasn't fair. It may not have been exactly like the on-call room but it wasn't enough. It wasn't really him it wasn't what she needed.
"NO!" She said through her tears.
"Please," he whispered pulling her closer.
"Why?! Because you want to have sex with me? You can't keep punishing me Will, not like this," April said backing away from him the tears were falling freely now.
He still had a hold of her hand as she tried to pull away from him. He gently squeezed it but she snatched it away. The full magnitude of his decision to delete her message; to avoid her; to keep his simple peace was being seen. Witnessing her heartbreak was not a part of his plan and he couldn't let her leave, not again, not without telling her the truth.
"I have to go," she cried walking to the doorway of the kitchen.
"If you leave I'll assume it's because you don't want me," Will blurted out the familiar words they both had said to each other too many times, "And I know you want me, I know you love me…because I love you," Will admitted.
He'd moved closer to her after each admission running both his hands up her neck cradling her face again going for another kiss but this one against her cheek where the first tear had fallen and then to the other side to absorb the other tear. He pulled back to look her in the eye to see her face at his revelation. Her eyes were vulnerable as her hands wrapped around his wrists with familiarity.
"Why are you avoiding me?" she whispered.
He shook his head, "You scare me …but not as much as the idea of you walking out of here and me never seeing you again does….I don't think I can live without you, I don't want to." His eyes were equally as vulnerable.
"Do you hear me? I love you," he said, his lips grazing the tops of hers.
Will finally disclosing his truth was lifting the weight from both of them. She moved closer to kiss him allowing herself to completely get lost in the embrace. She finally felt safe enough to be able to do so. They stood there in the kitchen kissing deeper and deeper falling into each other.
Will grazed his hand up the back of her dress to find the zipper before slowly sliding it down. The dress fell to April's feet in a pile as she stepped back and out of it kicking it aside. Will looked her up and down marveling again at his amazing fortune at being with anyone that could actually be that beautiful. He pulled her waist toward him kissing her again and turning her almost dance-like but it was to lead her up the stairs to his bedroom.
His sport coat was on the stairs as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first button up top. April was working on the bottom of his shirt taking in the newly defined parts of his body that hadn't been so lean before. They finally made it under his blankets stark naked but passionate and excited to be together. It had been a while for both of them and his size hadn't been lost on April either. As he lay on top of her slowly moving in and out of her she whispered between moans.
"Say it again," she asked.
Will kissed her neck pushing himself into her and bringing his mouth close to her ear to say,
"Say what again?" he asked going back to kissing her neck.
"I love you," April said with a smile.
He smiled and brought his forehead to hers thrusting into faster than before,
"I love you," he said with a labored breath followed by another quick thrust.
"Again," April said gasping at each heavy drive into her.
"I love you," he said pushing into her again, smiling.
The intense feeling was back rivaled only by pleasure. April would ask him again with a gasp and he would oblige with a drive into her over and over and over again until finally,
"God I love you," Will groaned into her mouth as he came.
His forehead was against hers as he allowed the rest of his body to collapse on top of her as she gave him a small kiss on the cheek sliding her mouth to his ear to say.
"I love you too."
They fell asleep tightly curled up like two puzzle pieces glued together. When she awoke the next morning he was already awake practically unmoving except to stroke her hair. She looked up at him.
"It's like the world's softest cotton," he said smiling and looking down at her.
"What is?" she asked.
"Your hair," Will answered with a smile.
She had meant to at least braid it but they fell asleep so it was wildly splayed across his chest and he seemed happy to be draped in it. They both laid there basking in a mutual peace they had finally attained until the familiar smell of pancakes traveled up to the stairs and slithered under the crack in the door up into their noses.
"You smell that?" Will said almost surprised.
April nodded and he gave her some pajama pants and t-shirt to wear. They both descended down the stairs to see Ryan making coffee and Keerie flipping pancakes.
"Wow two days in a row I feel spoiled April," Ryan said feigning surprise.
He was all too pleased with himself at his handiwork. Will rolled his eyes as April's cheeks scorched. Will might've felt similar to April but he had earplugs to remind him there was nothing to be ashamed of. He led April in by the hand and sat her down at the table.
"I hope you don't mind us getting one more use out of this awesome griddle," Keerie confessed sheepishly.
"Yeah I was kind of shocked to see it…. still here….," Ryan tapered off giggling, "Oh and you left this by the stairs…although I'm not sure if this was in the kitchen or…"Ryan teased as he handed April her dress.
"Okay," Will said shooting a look over to Ryan.
April blushed again before looking to Keerie and saying, "Oh no I'm glad someone's gotten some use out of it, I completely forgot where I'd put it...and thank you."
She snatched the dress and put it behind her seat. Keerie set four plates down and served everyone. April was still quiet a light hum coupled with a warm feeling from each kiss Will had given her last night was enough to make her smile and then stop. Will was periodically looking at her with an identical serenity on his face.
"Oh my god," Ryan remarked; laughing and shaking his head.
"Ryan," Keerie chastised him in a serious tone but she had a smile on her face.
From Ryan's point of view this was hilarious because he never understood how Will and April weren't a couple even when he was with Natalie. He liked Natalie but he could see it the first time he met the pair and more so when they all had went out. It had come as such a shock to him when Will said that they were only friends, so for Ryan finally seeing them together was like the world figuring out the answer to one plus one.
They would continue their brunch get-togethers over the next year and half, as much as they could with their busy schedules, until Ryan graduated from law school and moved out.
The time had flown quickly with Keerie and Ryan putting the finishing touches on their wedding. Will and April were both in attendance drinking dancing and absorbing the jubilant atmosphere of love. The reception was filled with happy energy and the not so unnoticeable mice-like-squeaks coming from Keeries' family members that filled the dancehall when the deejay called all the single women to the floor to catch Keeries' bouquet. April sat at her table unbothered by the ritual; she wasn't against it she just didn't care until Keerie popped over, her veil in hand pointing at April and curling her finger for her to come over. April sighed as she would not deny the bride on her day a favor. April stood in the middle of the crowd as Keerie turned her back to the group of ladies and pretended to throw her bouquet in a fake-out moment. The action made all the women besides April take a step back until Keerie threw it and it landed in front of April all the women were beaming and laughing at their planned synchronization. April stood with the white roses in her hand awkwardly smiling and then returning to her seat. Will was coming back from the bathroom and he was laughing at April.
"Shut up," April grumbled.
"Her family is something else aren't they?" Will said smiling.
They enjoyed a couple more songs before April's yawns prompted Will to take her home. He grabbed her purse opening it to retrieve her keys.
"I'll drive sleepy-head," he said laying a kiss on her forehead.
April was nodding in and out of consciousness until she realized they had been driving for too long. The reception venue was not far from her neighborhood and she didn't recognize it as being Will's when the car stopped in front of a house that didn't belong to either of them.
"Where are we Will?" April asked confused and half asleep.
"You'll see," Will said cryptically.
He pulled a small key out of his pocket and got of the car. He walked over to her side and opened the door. She took his hand and got out still wondering where the hell they were at.
Will unlocked the front door and immediately the soaring ceilings made April feel tiny. The ornate craftsmanship of the space was almost overwhelming, it was striking; beautiful. The place was completely bare aside from a large dining room table.
"You know Will, Oprah says never let them take you to the second location," she joked.
A deep genuine laugh sprang from Will and he gave her a kiss but he also seemed a little nervous.
"No but seriously, where are we? Whose house is this?" April asked looking him in the eye.
"Home... and ours," Will said almost cautiously but succinctly.
April cocked her head to the side.
"Hear me out," he started as he took her hand and walked her over to the dining table, "This place could be ours, Ryan is gone and I know that your lease is up in a few weeks, this place is right between Gaffney and U of CM." He still had a nervous smile.
He flipped over a picture on the table, it was of them at his place when they lived together.
"I mean we know we work well as roommates," he said flipping another photo over, "As friends," he said showing his copy of their silly photos together.
"As lovers," he flipped over another photo of them kissing, "And of course as colleagues."
Will had a crude photo-shopped image of he and April at work but her scrubs had a white coat over it to show her soon-to-be status as a doctor. She giggled at the photo already completely won over by the gesture but there was still one more photo faced down. His fingers tapped it nervously.
"And…" April started, "What's under this one?"
"And maybe…." Will started as he flipped over the last picture. "As husband and wife."
The last photo was him holding a sign that said "Will you marry me?" April gasped at the picture then she looked over to Will who had a tiny black box in his hand. This was not how April saw the night going and all of sudden she understood Keeries' insistence that she catch the bouquet she was actually as subtle as a sledgehammer. April stood in shock for so long that Will was succumbing to his nervousness and terror.
"April, um you're scaring me," Will said.
"Oh no, no, no, I mean yes, I mean sorry I'm scaring you and yes, yes I'll marry you," she said with a laugh.
Will let out the loudest sigh she had ever heard as he pulled her toward him to give her a kiss on the forehead then her lips. He brought the little box back out and cracked it open to show her the ring consisting of yellow topaz and diamonds in a circular clustered pattern.
"It's my birthstone," April said with a surprise.
"I know," Will said sliding the ring on her finger, "Let me show you the rest of the house."
He gave her the full tour as they imagined the days to come, Will envisioned April bouncing and dancing around the kitchen, April pictured her and Will cuddled up the couch while watching a movie in front of the fireplace; a small chair to plop down into after a long run or even longer shift by the door. They were both seeing a world they had created a world coming to life, a world that belonged only to April and Will.
The end.