I realized when I woke up that I forgot to post last night, so here is that. You will still get a post tonight per my usual.
Kylo felt like his skin was on fire. He felt like there were bugs crawling under it making it ill-fitting and itch. He could barely breathe. He chest was tight and his heart pounded in his ears. He couldn't get the sight of seeing fear in her eyes aimed at him out of his head. Of all the things he has seen in her eyes fear was never among them. His self-loathing was tearing at his skin. The quiet, relentless fear that had shone through her eyes hurt worse than when she had called him a monster. At least with that her eyes were defiant. Her fear felt like nails under his skin slowly trying to poke through the top. He wanted to unravel his skin with his finger nails. He wanted to dig his fingers into his wrists and pull out his veins.
This cell didn't help. He was trapped between these four walls and trapped in his own mind. He was never good at being inactive. He would always fill his time on his trip with inane tasks but there was always something. Here there was nothing but his own thoughts and the want to tear his skin from his bones. He wanted to be gone from here. He wanted to be in her arms with her hope reflected in him not this fear that he saw.
He let out a frustrated scream loud enough to make the guard at the end of the hall nervous. When Rose passed the guard with food, she saw that he was unusually tense. He let her pass with a shaky nod. She heard a banging as she approached. When she opened the door to Kylo's cell she saw him banging his fist against the rear wall.
"What?" He yelled. He paused in hitting the wall. His self-disgust quickly turning to anger at her intrusion on his pain.
"Food." She surprised herself by not being scared. The dark leader seemed more like a child having a tantrum than a force to reckoned with.
"I don't want it." He sneered at her over his shoulder.
"I don't care. You'll get it anyways."
"Then leave it," he growled.
"Whatever you say Supreme Leader," she mocked and set down the tray. She left him to his tantrum.
Kylo was stunned. She had been making fun of him. He didn't think that anyone would dare to do that. He thought them all too afraid. It was oddly refreshing for all that it was insulting.
He looked at the food and realized he was hungry. And Force bless it, it wasn't protein rations. I really need to teach Rey what proper food is, he thought. Her like of protein rations was unreasonable. The simple act of eating calmed him down. The repetitive motions were relaxing and the food was good. His plate was picked clean before long. The energy spent by his outburst, his full stomach, the lack of sleep this past night made him settle down on his bed. He wanted Rey next to him but he knew it wasn't the sleep cycle quite yet for her shift. He also knew she couldn't sleep with him in his cell. Maybe they would be able to use their force connection. He slipped off into sleep.
XxXxX
Kylo was woken out of sleep when he felt a presence standing over him. His mind flashed back to the Jedi temple. He didn't think. He just reacted and force pushed the person away slamming them into the wall. He stumbled out of bed and reached for a lightsaber that wasn't there. He took a moment to breath as the room was dark and he could hear no movement. He found the light switch and turned it on. He swung his head around to look at the presence he felt. He found Rey laying against the wall unresponsive. He rushed to her.
"No, no," he breathed. He felt her neck and by the force she was just knocked out. He pressed a button near the door calling help to him.
Finn and Poe rushed into the cell half clothed.
"What happened?" Finn asked as he kneeled next to Rey.
"I was sleeping and I felt her but I didn't realize it was her and I reacted." Kylo had retreated into a corner, holding himself and staring at Rey. He had hurt her, he couldn't believe that he had actually hurt her. He was shaking.
Finn seeing his distress walked over to him. He kneeled down in front of Kylo. "Hey, look at me." Kylo pulled his eyes from her and to Finn's face. "She'll be okay. We'll make sure of that."
"I shouldn't be around her. I am a danger to her. What if I had pushed her harder and instead of being just knock out she was, she was," Kylo shook his head. He couldn't dare think of that. Tears streamed down his face.
"Stop that," Finn commanded. He heard Poe leave. He knew Poe would take care of her.
"But it's all my fault."
Finn touched him gently. "It's not your fault. A reaction like that isn't the fault of you. It's the fault of whatever past situation you thought you were in."
"I hurt her." Even though he said he'd destroy her, he never actually wanted to. She was always too special to him.
"And she will be fine. Poe and I will let you know the moment she wakes. Come now." Finn pulled Kylo up. Finn steered Kylo to the bed and sat him down. "It's late. You should get some more sleep."
Kylo nodded and Finn started getting up to go. Kylo grabbed his hand. "Don't leave."
"Okay, let me just send a message to Poe and let him know." Kylo let Finn go and he rose and left the cell momentarily. There was a terminal on the opposite side of the door which he used to send his message. Kylo was still sitting on the bed staring at a wall when Finn returned. Tears were still streaming down Kylo's face. "Big spoon or little spoon?"
"What?" Kylo tore his eyes away from the wall and looked at Finn.
"I'm assuming I'm staying the night and this is a small bed. So big spoon or little spoon?" Finn explained.
"Tonight? little spoon." Kylo laid down on the bed and turned to face the wall that the bed was up against. Finn stripped off the rest of his outer clothing, turned off the lights and climbed in next to Kylo. Kylo was still shaking. Finn threw the blanket over them hoping it would help. Kylo stilled slightly. Finn started humming tunelessly. His voice was low and soft and though a different pitch reminded Kylo of his mother and all the songs she would sing for him. Kylo slowly fell into sleep with Finn's humming in the background. Once Finn felt Kylo still he felt comfortable falling asleep himself.