Charlie: (a shadow covering eyes) my beta's MIA. and now...my partner in crime. Is. Kidnapped. (looks up and show anger in eyes) You. Bastard. (steps forward as fangirls, fearful, step back) I! Have! Had! IT! (run forward and kicks the building. the wall busts as fangirls cower away. slowly, the building collapse, revealing Narra in the center of the rumble with fangirls surrounding him)

Fangirls: s-she isn't h-h-human! RUN! RUN!

Narra: (looks around, eyes bugged out) ...wow

NEWS: I'm doing an interview! well, more like you ask questions and I'll answer 'em as best I can. difficult questions so on and so on. I don't know if that's illegal here or not. if it is, tell me cause I seriously don't like getting kick out and just when I'm starting so good too.

Quotes:

"I distinctly remember a grizzled Master Chief Boatswain's Mate once saying, "Ya know why ya call a ship 'She'? It's because it costs so much money to keep her in paint and powder!"

"If you think the Reagan Administration's sale of arms to Iran was thought up to free hostages and get money for the Contras you must still believe in the Easter Bunny. We would have air dropped the stuff for free if only to keep the war going."

"His troops would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity."

"A military man can scarcely pride himself on having 'smitten a sleeping enemy;' in fact, to have it pointed out is more a matter of shame. I would rather you made your appraisal after seeing what the enemy does, since it is certain that, angered and outraged, he will soon launch a determined counterattack, whether it is a full- scale engagement on the sea, air raids on Japan itself, or a strong attack against the main units of our fleet."

"Avi's nannies have the souls of war-hardened Soviet paratroopers in the bodies of nubile eighteen-year-old girls."

"What is our aim? Victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror; Victory how ever long and hard the road may be."

"You can tell the Taliban any time they come up against the U.S. Marines; they're going to die real soon." Friends don't let civilian friends report military affairs. It embarrasses the reporter, and grossly misleads the public.

"I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it.
I'm worried about the million that say "to whom it may concern."

"Intelligence is the world's second-oldest profession. It differs from the oldest profession in that it is more immoral and more commonly practiced by amateurs."

"We sometimes forget, but freedom isn't free."

"First rule of tactical 'splosives, someone always complains about the length of the fuse."

"There's a place in this war for everyone. Yours just happens to be six feet under."

"You don't win by killing the enemy, but by breaking their hearts and making them run."

"Winning battles by attrition is to the art of war as a paint-by-numbers kit is to the Mona Lisa."

"Quality defeats quantity; maneuver defeats mass."

"Outsmart them. There's always a way."

"You may have superior weaponry, but you're out of ammo, and I've still got plenty of rocks."

"Faith and purity are inadequate substitutes for Kevlar and good cover."

"They will salute the rank, but they will only follow the man."

"Have you ever seen through the eyes of a decapitated head? Don't worry, you'll find out real soon."

Man: are you going to kill me?

Woman: no

Man: why?

Woman: I don't want to repaint the kitchen again

"Yep, love definitely makes you stupid, forcing your brain out your ear in manageable chunks of gray matter."

"Did I mention that I'm not the brightest bulb on the string of lights? Hell, I am that one light bulb that fails to light and makes the rest of the string go out. Still, that does not mean I can't do something about my love."

He was just one of those people that didn't care what others thought. It was "either you like me or not and if you don't, to the heck with you."

"War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left."

"Man with one chopstick goes hungry."

"You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you cannot make him think."

"The believer is happy; the doubter is wise."

"It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow."

"There are no shortcuts to a place worth going."

"A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato--the best part of him is underground."

"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain"

-----------------------------

Meeting a Stranger

By Charlie

Chapter Thirteen: Doubts

----------------------------

Jiraiya cringes and forcefully wave to the happy blonde across the room. Every inch of his body wanted to go over there and slap some sense into a certain someone. Temari grunted in agreement as if knowing what the other was thinking. Iruka came over and handed them each something to drink.

Neji's eyes follow Naruto. He really didn't know what the other was planning to do, especially in such a big crowd. Hopefully, it's not anything stupid. He noticed how calm everyone was acting. He actually did something about it. Well, stepping on Naruto's foot in front of Uchiha Fugaku wasn't much, but at least he did something damnit. And just for the fuck of it, Kiba's skin was still burning red. They were trying to make a bad impression. Trying as hard as they could, it was more embarrassing for them than Naruto since nobody in this entire room knew who he really was.

Everyone around the room whispered and gossiped about why the Nine Bosses were here. Jiraiya, Iruka, Neji, Temari, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Kiba, and Lee were literally the big shot at tonight's gathering. Usually, even if the invitation was from Fugaku himself they wouldn't even give it a second thought before throwing it in the garbage. But tonight was different, all of them were gathered here which meant-.

"The fucking boss is here!" whispered an under-cover reporter. She wasn't being very under-cover-ish standing so close to two security guards. So this is what happened later… "NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I NEED THIS STORY! PLEASE! IT'S SWEEPS WEEK! IT'S SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP…….!" she screamed as they had to carry her out of the building. The guest turn their heads to see what the commotion was all about, but when it was quiet again, they went back to talking to each other. Rich folk style.

Anyway, what happened between the Nine Bosses? Jiraiya and Naruto were making hand signals, making it very obvious that there's something going on between them, but luckily Neji and the others were there to divert attention. Jiraiya loses all reason when he's angry.

PV (pervert) Two fingers to his eyes then point at Naruto

Kyuubi: Sticks out tongue and roll eyes up into skull.

PV: Holds up fist.

Kyuubi: GRINS!

PV: (seething) Make scissor hands then motion down there.

Kyuubi: Mouths "at least I have one".

PV: attempt to strangle him, but Iruka held him back.

Kyuubi: turn away arrogantly and holds up middle finger.

Shikamaru yawn, not caring if others surrounding heard him. It wasn't his idea to come here in the first place so it was Naruto's problem that he was acting this away. Temari was being a problem as it is. She was, like Jiraiya, trying to get near Naruto enough to strangle the bastard. Iruka whisper something in Jiraiya's ear and it surprisingly made him calm down, but he was still giving Naruto the eye.

Yesterday, Naruto had fax them a small little paper that made them all gap and curse him for hours. He wanted the candidate to be ready two days after the gathering! That was nearly impossible! Matter of fact, it is impossible because the candidate would need everything on the requirements! How in the seven hells are they suppose to do that? That is the reason why they were so angry. And if that wasn't enough, Naruto made them come to this party to help him in case something should arise. Like problem number one: the other guests are being mean to him because he is someone they do not know. He's just a fucking lowly pay intern.

Problem number two seem to be that the most highly respected officer, Hatake Kakashi, knows Naruto. That isn't very much of a problem, but the guy is a detective. He could be a future figuring-out-who-Naruto-really-is problem. Then another fucking one came up. The Uchiha Itachi who doesn't give a fuck what anybody thinks, except his dear father, spoke a whole sentence to Naruto. And here is what it was, "I didn't catch your name last time." And here is what everybody was thinking, 'Last time? They met before?', 'Why is the Uchiha brat talking to him? That kid's a nobody. Are they going out? Hmm, interesting.', 'Man, I'm so jealous! I wanna talk to Itachi-sama!'. Problem number three is the biggest bad-ass they've ever seen. Uchiha Fugaku hates Naruto, but either way, Naruto wants them to make Fugaku become interested (professionally) in him. And he wants it to come naturally, not force.

Jiraiya gritted his teeth and approach Fugaku. What Naruto doesn't understand is that Fugaku and force goes together. "Fugaku-san, I am delighted to be at your gathering." The pervert can be a gentleman when he puts his mind into it.

Fugaku smile and shook his hand. "The pleasures all mine. But I have to ask, what brings you here this evening?"

"Bright minds are a thing to be excited about. Especially young ones," Jiraiya's voice was complimenting and un-harmful…for now. "These interns this year look up-to date. What are you planning for them this year?" That question does not mean Naruto is cheating. He just…didn't…want to study. He did that in school and it ends there.

Naruto had spent the first part of the evening talking to Kakashi until the white hair man got sent away for some security check. Then he spent 1/10 of it "talking" to Jiraiya. It wasn't his fault the old geezer gets rile up easily. After that, he talked to Itachi. The conversation was very productive…in a way.

"I didn't catch your name last time."

The blonde acted surprise. Ok, he really was surprise. He didn't exactly expect Itachi to sneak up on him and he kinda drank too much, but not too much to get him drunk. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? I should ask you that."

"Well, I asked first," he said childishly. That wasn't acting, that was real.

Itachi scoffed. It was kinda close to a laugh and it sure made the girls squeal. "This is my father's party."

Ok, now this is acting. Naruto raise an eyebrow. "Father? But…t-that means you're…." Naruto's eyes bug out and he acted scare. "Uh…um….w-well…I-uh…."

Itachi actually let out a chuckle this time. Out of amusement. "You don't need to be that surprise."

He frowns. Sometime when you're acting, the other gets really arrogant and when you know the truth, it kinda pisses you off. "So what? Are you just here to gloat?"

"I don't gloat."

"No, you're daddy's treasure," he said, his voice sounding sorta like a girl. Oops. Maybe he went too far, however, Itachi didn't look angry at all. Instead, the Uchiha laughed. Really really really laughed.

"Do you always speak like that whenever you're angry at someone?"

Naruto realized that Itachi was laughing at his accent. He would've been angry if he wasn't slightly relieved that the Uchiha was capable of showing some real emotion. All those pictures he "Hmph!" he pouted, blushing a little from the embarrassment of it.

"Don't be so angry. It doesn't suit you at all," Itachi said. He kinda wondered where that came from. It's been so long since he's been so brotherly. 'Heh, Sasuke acts more like a hardcore delinquent than a baby brother.' "I want to be your friend." 'Oh my god, why did I say that? I don't say things like that. He's gonna think I'm a loser! Worse, a wimpy loser!' FYI, he said it on instinct.

Naruto cross his arms. "Well, you can't." 'Whoa! Uchiha Itachi just said…whoa! I hit the jackpot!'

Nobody ever said no to him before. His father usually just say, 'you're not good enough' or something along that line. Itachi thought about a nine-year-old Sasuke. What would he say to get Sasuke to not be angry at him anymore? "I'll buy you a Boston Cream Pie." (A/N: a famous American dessert, not made in Japan, but Naruto had tasted it before when Halie took him to U.S.)

Naruto's walls crumbled immediately. "Fine

Itachi patted him on the head. That triggered a memory of Sasuke again. He sighs and said good-bye, moving to mingle with other people when he saw his father look his way. He glances back, however, and Naruto grin at him and gave him a peace sign. He smile and disappears into the crowd.

Naruto mentally cross off Kakashi and Itachi from his list. He was sure Mikoto wouldn't be here, mostly because he told her not to. He's been delivering meals to her these past two days and getting to know her as well. They're like peas and carrots now. Mikoto wouldn't want anyone else to deliver food for her and he doesn't want to deliver food for anybody else. Not that he could say no since it was in his job description, but Naruto felt guilty about lying to her. He didn't really lie, but he felt this guilt of not telling her everything. Like the only reason he's even doing this is to gain her trust to later use it against her in a scheme he came up with. Ok, it's not that evil of a scheme, but that woman has a strong will, damnit. Aside from the guiltiness, there was something else. Now let us observe the last two days in the Uzumaki manor.

Flashback:

Naruto smile as he saw Sasuke coming, but when the boy saw him, he turn a corner and disappeared before Naruto could say anything. Naruto's hand kinda dangle in the air, wondering what just happened. Naruto hadn't seen nor heard of Sasuke until lunch time came around. Gaara and Naruto both watch as Sasuke sucked up his food and excused himself quickly. Naruto turn to Gaara who shrug and left too. He sat there all alone and thought maybe he did something wrong. The maid who later went to clean up after them was quite surprise when she saw her young master's plate was still full.

Naruto sat in his room, thinking of every reason why Sasuke was avoiding him. 'Could he have known? No, I didn't give him any clues. Hmm, or did Gaara?' "Gaara?" he called and his slave quickly came in. "Why is Sasuke avoiding me?" He thought maybe the red head would have the answer.

Gaara shrug.

Or not. He groans and rolls onto his stomach.

"But he's in the library right now."

Naruto quickly sat up and went to the library. He quietly crept in and tiptoe to where Sasuke might be. The library is three stories high with more than twenty shelves of books back and forth. He heard some typing sound come from the left and headed that way. His feet stopped dead in their track when he turns the corner. '…wow.'

Sasuke sat in front of one of the computers, his hands expertly typing away. There were some interesting details to that, however. He was wearing one of Naruto's white T-shirt, the buttons half-way up, revealing that delectable creamy chest. Naruto had to admit that though Sasuke looks kinda frail on the outside (with shirt), but he had some awesome abs (without shirt). And that pair of black pants, though Naruto have no idea where he found it, fitted the outfit perfectly. A pencil was neatly tucked behind one ear, occasionally being taken down to be use and sometime nibble at in its owner's frustration. Sasuke sat with one leg dangling off the chair while the other was secured under it.

Naruto leaned against a book case, not even considering if it could hold him or not. He got a few moments of staring before the entire shelve fell, however Naruto caught himself in time before he actually fell. He gulp as the shelve knock over its neighbor and so on and so forth. It was like watching huge dominos falling on each other. The same huge dominos that he'll have to clean up. He turned around slowly only to see the somewhat bewildered look on Sasuke's face. "Uh…hi?" Naruto straighten himself up and wave the issue off. "Happens all the time."

The boy in turn raises a curious eyebrow. "Right." He had been quietly doing his work, not even suspecting Naruto would come in. 'I'm getting soft.' He saved his writing and turn of the computer. It was homework for school. Running away or not, he still liked to be up-to-date with everything. You could say he was one of those on-time freaks. He stood up getting ready to go when suddenly Naruto said something that caught him completely off-guard.

"You don't like me anymore?"

Sasuke's head snap up to look at the blonde. He immediately regretted it when he saw those swirling confusions in his blue eyes. It made him kinda angry too. "What make you say that?"

"You've been avoiding me all day," Naruto stated. That was a damn fact.

"No, I haven't," Sasuke said, but the guilty edge in his voice didn't quite agree with him.

"Did I do something wrong?" 'Maybe Sasuke really did figure it out. No, he couldn't have! I was careful.'

Sasuke didn't know what to say. What the blonde said was true, but he was…afraid. He didn't want to admit it, but he was. If his father found out where he was, he'll definitely be taken away. He can't stay hidden forever. They'll be rumors and it'll start spreading till it reaches his father. Then what happens after that will be something worse than death itself. He bear that small pain growing in his chest as he knew he have to ask Naruto that question. It'll sound conceited, but he can't help it. It wasn't his fault he was born into such a family! "Naruto?"

"Hmm?" The blonde didn't like the way Sasuke was sounding. It put him on edge that Sasuke was acting this way.

"W-What's your job description exactly?"

Naruto outwardly frown at the question. "Haven't I told you before? I'm a boss of a company-."

Sasuke cut him off. "No, that's not it. I mean, what's the company?"

He was expecting that question sooner or later. Naruto didn't really have a choice. He has to lie. He has to do it like all the other times. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Sasuke everything, but he have to admit he was scare. He was certain of everything, but he didn't know if Sasuke was simply using him or not. All that flirting was just child-play; he's never gone any farther than that. Or rather, he didn't allow himself to go there. It had a too high risk of him getting hurt. He didn't want that to happen. Naruto's head spin, thinking of an answer. "A&B." Coron sponsors them for quite some time now.

"Is it developing…well?"

"It's kinda there, I guess." Naruto hadn't really checked up onto it before. Jiraiya handles them because they're-.

"As well as Uchiha Inc.?"

Naruto's eyes widen slightly at that. "Wha?"

-because they're small business.

Sasuke was hoping for a positive answer. His father has to approve of their relationship. If love doesn't convince him, then maybe money will. He didn't really want to do this, but what other choice does he have? It's the only way he could be with Naruto, but Naruto had to have some kind of high status. Just enou-.

"…no." Naruto really didn't want to lie, but he couldn't really understand why Sasuke couldn't just trust him and leave his status be. It was too dangerous. If people, anyone, found out who he is, his friends would be in danger. Especially Sasuke. He rather lie. 'Why did you leave me this? Why…Halie?'

"Oh," was all that came out of Sasuke's mouth. It was weak and…funny. "Is that all?"

Naruto didn't say anything. His body was frozen with fear. The rejection was what he heard. It was the only thing he heard right now. "…Sasuke."

"Is that all you can manage?" He didn't wait for an answer. Sasuke ran out of the room as fast as he could.

There weren't any footsteps that followed him. It was all quiet.

End of Flashback.

Naruto bit the inside of his lip. He can't let it show. He can't afford to do any of that bullshit. Not ever. No, he couldn't. 'Not even for Sasuke.' Suddenly someone bumped into him, almost making him fall.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Please excuse me."

He looked up and paled. That has got to be the scariest face he has ever seen. No, actually he's met worse. "Uh…no problem." He never really met the guy before, but he knows that he work for Fugaku. "…Orichimaru-sama."

Orichimaru looked pleased that the blonde boy knew him. He was wondering who the boy the Uchiha brat was talking to. It'll work right into his plan. "Oh, and who might you be?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, sir," he said, grinning brightly. '…and I don't trust you as far as I can throw you.' He knew how to judge people and those eyes are by far the worse of evil.

"You're one of Fugaku-san's interns. Please to meet you," Orichimaru said, holding out his hand.

Naruto didn't really want to, but he shook the guy's hand anyway. Then he almost lost all self-control when Orichimaru held on to his hand a little longer than necessary and planted a small kiss on it.

"May we meet again," he said and walked away quietly.

The blonde nodded somewhat then quickly rub the back of his hand a few time. Rubbing it won't help make it any cleaner, he'll have to use disinfectant when he get home. He turns toward a certain group of people and walk toward it, but stopped almost immediately. 'Is it really worth it now? Sasuke's having doubts and-. Argh, I can't give up hope now.' He walks to Fugaku with determination. 'Though this might sting my pride a bit.'

"Ah, Uzumaki-san," said Jiraiya when he saw the boy. Fugaku was only merely glancing at Naruto as if he wasn't worth the time.

'Yeah, just a little sting,' though he was starting to doubt it when he saw that evil glint in Jiraiya's eyes.

Part of the NB's job was to make Naruto look good in front of Fugaku. If one of the NB recommended an intern, he was worth the effort. Naruto needed that kind of attention, but Jiraiya didn't look like he was about to cooperate, not without giving Naruto some pain in return. Shikamaru saw the group from across the room. He shook his head as he already predicted what Jiraiya was going to do. He tabs his right leg three times and pointed to Jiraiya. Ino saw the action and proceeded toward the group with two glasses of wines in her hand.

Kiba touch a small headphone on his ear. It was really small so that it was hidden from view. He presses in a series of Morse code and listen as some returned back to him. He places a hand on Temari's left shoulder and pretends to laugh at some joke one of the guests was making. Temari nodded to him while smiling. She excused herself and went to the food court. She flipped her hair and pick up a glass of champagne. Neji saw what Temari did and he went over to a woman who was going over to Fugaku's group. (1)

Back to our blonde hero:

Naruto twitch again as Jiraiya made the fourth joke about him. He tried to shake it off and be cool, but the old geezer was starting to piss him off. Fugaku looked ready to walk off, however.

Ino came over just in time. "Good after evening, Fugaku-san," she said politely.

Naruto almost scoffed. He had to admit she was a good actress. Sure she was smart in handling business, too, but the real reason why he hired her was because of her cunning in acting. The entire NB was the greatest actors of the 23rd century. One of the top reasons why he hired any of them in the first place. They were intelligent, flawless actors, and most of all, they had distinguished mental abilities. It's kinda like selling your soul to the devil, in a way.

The boss is the most important person in your life. Close to it anyway. Anyone else's, including your own; priority should be the last you need to think about. Any order from the boss is to be carried out, even if it means killing your girlfriend. That actually happened once with Halie. One of the ex-NB's girlfriends was working undercover for another company in order to steal some secret info from Coron. In the end, she had to be eliminated. Halie gave her a choice and even went as far as threatening her family, but nothing worked, except death. The girl was a bitch anyway. Halie was just doing her job. Kinda dangerous though.

Back to the situation at hand, Fugaku gracefully bow to Ino and welcomed her to his event. Ino looked at Jiraiya and smile. She neatly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, as a warning. Jiraiya tapped his glass once as understood. Even if he was chairman, he had to respect the others too. Naruto mentally smirked at Jiraiya's failure in embarrassing him.

"Uzumaki-san, you're here too?" Ino casually asked, directing all the attention to Naruto.

Naruto grinned proudly. That's his girl! Professionally, of course. "Hai, Yamanaka-sama. It's so good to see you here too. I was afraid you wouldn't come."

"Why wouldn't I come? This is a big event for you," she said, giggling a little at how their acting was going. It was meant to show how comfortable she was with him, too. She handed him the other glass of wine she had in her hand. "I hope all goes well too you," she said and clink their glasses together. She notices on contact that he lightly tapped her finger twice. She smiles as he congratulated her secretly.

Fugaku looked impressed. 'Naruto knows Ino Yamanaka and Jiraiya Sannin?' This could work to his advantage. "You two know each other?"

Ino didn't say anything, letting Naruto do all the talking. The lie was that Naruto use to work for Ino as an under-class and they just happened to run into each other, but due to Naruto's interest in joining in the Uchiha Inc., he quit soon after getting enough money for his apartment. Then he became an intern, working hard, day and night. Fugaku bought it.

Naruto was so happy at how his plan was running along. Fugaku actually smiled at him and offer to teach him a thing or two about handling a business. Soon after the party ended, Naruto parted ways with the other interns. They stayed behind to listen about a test coming up for them and that test will successfully take out five of the interns, leaving six in the lead. Naruto didn't see a problem with it since he was confidence in passing it. The test was to be in two days. The NB had long gone left. They had to return early tomorrow morning to discuss the candidate in two days. It was like a showdown.

Meanwhile, on the way home, Naruto's thoughts wonder to Orichimaru. He had a bad feeling about the freak. He toss the feeling aside, however. After the test, he has to stay at the apartment until this whole thing is resolve. It'll lessen the suspicion. He didn't like the idea of leaving Sasuke only when they hadn't discussed what happened yesterday. It unease him about the questions Sasuke keeps asking. Naruto understand Sasuke's father well enough to know the man wouldn't let his son date someone from the low-class, but Naruto didn't want Fugaku to be using Sasuke like that nor did he like the fact that the only reason Fugaku might let Sasuke date him was because of his money. He wanted to prove he was better than what Fugaku expects. Because truthfully…he's a nobody.

-------------------------

Orichimaru stood before Fugaku, who was seated behind a large black desk. There was no one else in the room with them. The light was turned off, except for a candle. A long pause extended between them before either one spoke.

"Have you found him?"

"Not yet."

"Bring him to me directly when he is found."

"Yes, sir."

"Is everything ready?"

"Almost. There are a few loose ends left."

"Then solve it."

"Yes, sir."

"What about the wedding arrangement?"

"They have agreed."

"Excellent. Nothing must be out of order, understand?"

"Absolutely, sir."

---------------------------------

Charlie: (lazily laying in chair)

Narra: (excitingly moving around) HEY, HOW YOU DID THAT BACK THERE? IT WAS AMAZING! ONE KICK AND BAM! MAN, IT SENT THOSE GIRLS CRYING TO THEIR MAMA!

Charlie: (turn to face audience) he's been like that all week after I rescued him. it's his way of showing extreme fear. it's called mass hysteria or you can just call him crazy. if you look closely, you can see him twitch every now and then. don't worry, I'll get him fix. it's on my list of things to do, right after I get HBO.

1) Shikamaru signal to Ino to go over to Jiraiya to stop whatever it was he was going to do before it ruined Naruto's plan. Kiba was checking up on security to see if there was going to be any interruption while Naruto was talking to Fugaku. He signals Temari by putting an arm around her, telling her to tell Neji to handle the interruption. Temari flipped her hair, signaling Neji to distract the woman. Neji's best for that since he's good-looking and all.

Movie Quote:

(Bulletproof Monk)

Kar: (Monk puts some ointment on Kar's hand) Hey, I like this. It's cool. It's comfy. It's fast acting. This stuff is great. What is it?

Monk: Homemade. From my own urine.

Kar: (Kar sniffs his hand)That's disgusting!

Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.

Nina: (Nina shows Jade a picture of a refugee kneeling in front of a man with a rifle) Tell me, deep inside, at the bottom of your soul, who would you rather be? The man about to be shot? Or the man about to do the shooting?

Monk: An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation over a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

Monk: It's not about anger - it's about peace. It's not about power - it's about grace. It's not about knowing your enemy - it's about knowing yourself.

Strucker: You may be my granddaughter. But that will only protect you for so long.

Monk: Air is as real as you and me. You have to step on it as if it were a stone, swim through it as if it were the sea. All you have to do is truly believe.

Kar: Believe what, that the laws of gravity don't exist?

(Cheaper of the Dozen 2)

Tom: that's not gonna fit in your tent, Lorraine

Lorraine: oh, I'm gonna make it fit, dad!

Kate: you actually bought that shirt?

Tom: Hey every dad is entitled to one hideous shirt, and one horrible sweater. It's part of the dad code.