A/N

HEllo friends I have some good news and some great news. The good news is that this is a really good chapter. And the great news is that I'LL FINALLY HAVE INTERNET AGAIN BY THIS WEEKEND. Why is that great news you ask, we'll if you must know I have a crazy fun idea for a story that I've been dying to start But I really wanted to finish my others. So with regular internet access again I'll be able to do that. I'm very pleased with this chapter. Happy readings.

P.s shout out to the die hard fans of the fifty shades trilogy that like me already pre ordered they're Grey book.

P.s again I have not laptop. All of my stories have been written on my phone. It doesn't bother me at all but a certain reader wanted my stories to be longer and I tried to explain that writting on my phone is like texting for hours and can get very didn't get it so he said he won't be reading. Anyway thank you for the people who don't mind if a chapter is short.

Apov

My birthday was absolute heaven. I didn't have to worry about paparazzi, crazy stalkers or angry old woman. All I had to do was enjoy my day, and I did. But today I really just want to lay in bed with my boyfriend. I guess he has other plans since it's barely eight in the morning and he's nowhere to be found. With a heavy sigh I pull on one of his t shirts and head to his study. As I stride through the penthouse I feel at ease. I no longer feel overwhelmed with the size or the large price I'm sure Christian paid for it. I like to believe it has everything to do with the fact that where ever Christian is will feel like home and not because I'm turning into some pampered upper class CEO girlfriend.

"Good morning, Ana." Gail voice breaks me from my rather annoying thoughts.

"Good morning. Did you enjoy the party last night?" I was both shocked and happy she and Taylor came to celebrate my birthday. I knew she must have cooked the food but that was were her job ended. I made sure she was Gail, not Christians house keeper.

"Absolutely, Thank you again for having me. Did you get around to opening your presents?"

"No, but I'll get to it in a little bit." I barely had energy to brush my teeth last night, let alone open my pile of presents.

"Well, if you need help let me know." I say OK and she disappears with what I'm assuming is clean sheets. Since Christian isn't stuffing his face I'm guessing he's in his office. The closer I get, I can hear what sounds like anything but a friendly conversation.

Cpov

"Elena, I told you to stay the fuck away from her."

"Now, now christian. I wanted to give her a heads up. You and I both know this thing you have with her is all a lie."

"A lie? I don't lie to Ana."

"Are you sure Christian?" a visual of Leila pops into my head and the guilt I feel for not telling Ana I not only know this women but I know what she wants, hits me like a cold shower.

"What ever I keep from her is only for her safety." She begins to laugh, no doubt seeing through my lie.

"What happened to you Christian. You never use to lie to me, let alone yourself. Safety has nothing to do with why you won't allow Anastasia to see who you really are."

"Ana sees who I really am everyday. She accepts me for me, and I love her for it." I hear her sharp intake of breath.

"Love? You think what the two of you have is love?"

"That's what I know."

"Then by all means, tell her exactly what you are and what you like. Tell her about the woman who is a threat to her life and your connection. And see if what you have is really love."

I hang up. I'm sure of a lot of things when it comes to Ana, but I'm not sure if she would stay if she knew everything I'm hiding from her. And if I'm honest, it scares the hell out of me. I sit at my desk running my hands through my hair when I hear the lightest of knocks.

"Come in." I yell. Not bothering to look up.

"Christian, are you okay?" her voice causes me to look at her. She's so simply beautiful that I'm not sure she even knows it. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I know I can't lose her.

"Yeah, I'm just a little stressed." she walks around my desk and stands between my legs.

"What about?" I wrap my arms around her waist and lay my head on her stomach.

"Work, but everything will be OK." my hands inch up her back and her fingers glide through my hair.

"Christian, are you sure you're ok?" I'm any thing but OK. I can feel the panic in my bones at the thought of her leaving.

"I just never thought I was capable of love. And now that I have it, I don't want to lose it." she brings my eyes to meet hers and they're filled with the purest of emotions.

"You won't lose it. I love you and I'm far from ready to let what we have go." I want to believe her kinds words, But the dark part of me that I've been keeping locked away has reared it's ugly head making me doubt myself.

"You don't know what might happen down the road."

"I'm not suppose to. But I have faith that we'll still be together." She kisses my lips lightly and I pull her closer when She tries to pull away. My hands roam over her body, my tongue explores her mouth. She let's me do as I please as I lay her body on my desk. I pull my shirt off of her and trail kisses down her neck. With every second I spend enjoying this closeness, the realization that I'm not quite sure how long it will last rocks me to my core.

Her hands are like an calming balm as they touch places no woman has ever touched. She kisses the small scars that use to bring her tears. Not to be sensual but to let me know they don't bother her. She discards my shirt on the floor and goes to work on my pants. As my manhood pops free, I rip through her panties and marvel in the pure beauty that lays beneath me. This woman has given me so much and I'm sure she has no idea how grateful I am to her.

"Christian, what's wrong?" for the first time in my adult life I feel the need to cry tears of joy.

"I love you Anastasia."

"I love you to, Christian."

I enter her slowly and Make love to the woman of my dreams.

Apov

"Christian, we should get up and eat something." Yes, after sex like that, I'm in desperate need of food.

"Five more minutes."

"You said five minutes twenty minutes ago." and two orgasms ago.

"Okay. I'm starving anyway." he stands and extends his hand as to help me up. The minute I stand my legs almost give out. "Are you okay." he smiles knowing that after what we've been doing I'm likely sore.

"Don't smirk at me."

"I'm sorry." he's in full blown laughter. "Come on, I want to feed you."

As we sit at the breakfast bar enjoying French toast and bacon we start up a small conversation like we do every morning. It's never anything important but it feels so domestic.

"So, I was thinking we spend this beautiful Saturday doing pretty much what we did in my study." He wiggles his eye brows to get his point across. I throw my head back in laughter.

"As much as I would enjoy that I have some manuscripts to read and some presents to unwrap."

"Well, when you're finished we can go out." I love to hear Christian talk about going out as if he's not owner of a thousand and one companies.

"Sure. Where did you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll figure something out." Christian always has everything planned out but today something just feels off. I let it go and decide not to push it.

After breakfast Christian wonders off to do whatever CEO does and I begin to open my presents. So far I've received a pair of diamond ear rings from my parents, expensive shoes from Kate, a spa day for two from Elliot and three large photos of myself I'm starting to fall in love with from jose. Somewhere in the remaining pile of present I received from my co workers I unwrap a somewhat large black box. It looks so odd and feels so heavy. There was no sender's name on the red wrapping paper, just a simple To Ana. I open the box and become more confused. Picture, after picture, after picture of women. Some strapped to what looks like a cross, some chained to a bed, some gagged. They're all so different, yet so similar. These women skin are pale and they're long chocolate Brown braid hangs away from they're beautiful faces. These woman are gorgeous. That goes with out saying, and then one of the beautiful faces in the pictures makes my blood run cold. It's her. The woman who has hunted my dreams and turned my life into a chaotic tail spin steers at me and on the back is what I assume her name is, Leila Williams. She's shackled to a cross, completely naked. The picture causes me fright, yet she looks unfazed by her surrounding. Wait. I've seen this place before. Like being Woking up by a cold bucket of water, I understand.

"No. No. No. No. No." I run around the penthouse looking for a key. My heart is breaking and my limbs feel weak. This can not be happening. I won't believe it, until I can prove it. There's no key in the bedroom, there's no key in the closet. As I run out the bedroom I spot Gail and ask her if she has the key for that room upstairs. Very reluctantly she gives it to me.

I stand in front of the room that could destroy My relationship. But only because it means Christian has lied to me. As I unlock the door and it slowly creaks open, I hold the picture up as if its a piece to a puzzle that fits perfectly. There's no mistaken that this picture was taken in this room, so there's no mistaken Christian must have been the one taking it.

Cpov

I have about an hundred unread emails, luckily only half of them need my immediate attention. I type away until I notice movement by my study door. I quickly glance and see Ana long legs and continue typing.

"I'm swear I'm almost finished."

"Leila Williams." her voice is low and sad. My fingers stop moving and I look at her and realize her eyes are bloodshot red.

"What?"

"The woman who attacked me and has been stalking me. Her name is Leila Williams, but I guess you knew that." I don't say a word. I can't say a word because nothing I say will make it right. "Why? Why would you keep something like this from me?"

Tears slowly fall down her face.

"I wanted to keep you safe."

"BULLSHIT! WHY WOULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?" I try to think of a way to explain myself without sounding selfish.

"I knew that if you found out about Leila, you would leave. I wanted to find her and get her help before I told you." She storms out of the study. She's leaving. I knew it would come to this. I run after her."Ana,please."

"No! Once again you didn't trust me." she continue to head to my room.

"Ana, I trust you more then I trust anyone."

"No you don't. If you did, you would have told me and trusted that I would have stayed. But once again you fail to believe that I actually care about you and leaving you forever is just not a option." I want to believe her, but seeing her throw her clothing in a suitcase makes it hard.

"You're upset Because I didn't tell you, but you're doing exactly what I was afraid of."

"So you think I'm leaving you?"

"What am I suppose to think when you're packing your things." her face is balled up in a scowl and for a few seconds I think she might hit me.

"YES. I AM LEAVING, BUT I HAVE EVERY INTENTION TO COME BACK." she resumes her packing, only to stop yet again. "I ASKED YOU FOR ONE THING, ONE FUCKING THING. DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS?" I don't dare speak. "I ASKED YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME, AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT."

"Ana please, don't go. I love you.

"Just not enough to tell me the truth." I can feel the panic raising as she paces the length of the walk in closet.

"Can we please talk about it."

"The time for talking was when I was in the hospital getting stitched or when I had to leave my home because I was scared to death that someone was watching me. But instead you choose to keep me in the dark, you choose to lie to me and I don't know if I can be around you right now."

My chest hurts. My brain has gone into a free fall and I'm praying for divine intervention. I've never felt this before. "Ana, we can get through this. But you can't leave." she has stopped packing and sits on the floor with her head in her hands.

"Christian, I have to. I won't stay here and say I understand why you lied or pretend that everything will be okay. I need to go home and think about where we stand."

"Home? Your home is here."

"No. My boyfriends home is here. I don't care about any of this. I just want to be able to come home to a man that loves me and won't lie. Before today I thought that's what I had." I kneel beside her and she moves away slightly, as if I might hurt her. And like a slap to the face, I realize I have to let her do what she feels is best. Even if it means letting her leave.

"So, this is what you want?" she silently cries and my heart breaks all over again.

"I just want space right now. That doesn't mean I'm leaving you or that our relationship is over."

"Are you sure? Because it really seems that way." how can she say that when she is clearly leaving.

"I want to calm down and I want to do that somewhere other then here."

"So what am I suppose to do Ana? I'm suppose to stay here and wait for you to decide if you still want us to be together?" I'm angry. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

"You're suppose to trust that what I'm saying is the truth and believe me when I say I will be back."

I sink to the floor of the closet, knowing that I'm barely holding my composure. I trust Ana, but if this has her running, imagine if she knew the darkest parts of me.

Apov two days later

I want to go home. Not the apartment I share with Kate but the one I share with Christian. We have been apart for two days and it's been like hell. I thought that Kate would be apart of my pity party, but she's never there. I miss my boyfriend but I am not ready to accept what he did. That doesn't change the fact that my body and soul screams for him.

Cpov day three post Ana.

As the phone rings I'm not sure she will answer. I hate this so much. We have only texted the last couple of days and I'm in desperate need of her touch, but for now simply hearing voice will do.

"Anastasia Steele." And like always my body begins to relax.

"Hey. I know you're at work, I was just calling to see how you we're doing." she's quiet and I almost think she's going to hang up.

"I'm fine. I'm in desperate need of a full eight hours of sleep, but fine none the less." I hear a small giggle escape her and a huge smile spreads across My face.

"You haven't been sleeping either?" and here I thought I was the only one going crazy.

"Nope, and I blame that cloud you call a mattress." I laugh at her ability to be playfully angry at anything and everything.

"Well, let me apologize on behalf of my mattress." As we share in a laugh, I realize how much I want to hold her. But I know that I can't push her if I want her to come back.

"Apology accepted." the silence spreads like a black cloud between us. I hate that we've been reduced to this. Its scary to feel so helpless and hopeless.

"Christian... I, I... I miss you." she sniffles and I know she's most likely crying and I wish I could console her.

"I miss you to. Ana please, come home. We can talk about things, I'll sleep in a different room just come home. I love you." She's now in full blown sobs.

"I'm just not ready. You should have told me, none of this would have happened if you would have just told me."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Christian, I have to go." she hangs up before I can say anything else.

Apov four days post Christian.

As I ride the elevator up to the penthouse, joy blooms inside of me. I've missed this place. It's a fortress in the sky that for a short while belonged to Christian and I. Now I'm reduced to being here in secrecy.

I thought about coming back several Times in the last couple of days, that doesn't mean I will. I've thought about why I'm so angry and the reason seem undeniable at first. I was livid that he knew this woman was a danger to my life and because of his fucked up self loathing he hid it to keep me from leaving. But after really thinking about it, I'm also upset that there is a whole part of his life I know nothing about. Those pictures and those woman are a part of his past, but a past that defines him. What if he wakes up one morning and realizes he wants that again? What if I won't be able to give him what he truly desires? The thought of it is unnerving.

As I step off the elevator, into the foyer and through the double doors into the great room, I feel calmness wash over me. Everything seems the same, but empty. I wonder around enjoying the familiar environment. I walk to the bedroom and tears threaten to fall as I look at the image before me. Everything looks untouched, except for the lone t shirt that lays discarded on the bed. I pick it up and it smells like me and it should since I wore It the last time I was here. But it also smells like Christian. The thought of him wearing this, just to be near my scent is heartbreaking. I lay my head on his pillow and let my tears falls. I don't know what to do. I refuse to come back like some pathetic love struck teenage girl, I want him to realize why him lying was wrong and he has yet to understand that. So for now I'll just have to suffer I guess.

I lay in Christians bed until I start to feel sleepy. I sit up and swing my feet on the side of the bed wiping the remaining tears from my cheeks. I want to take this shirt to have a piece of him with me as I sleep but it will be cruel since this is the only thing he has that actually smells like me. So I slide his pillow case off and place it in my purse before leaving.

As the elevator dings with it's arrival, I hurry inside but bump into Gail causing her to drop the bags she was holding.

"Ana?. I didn't see you there."

"It's okay Gail. But I really have to go." I help her pick the items off the floor and try to catch the elevator before it closes.

"Ana, wait." I stand in between the doors to keep them from closing.

"Gail, I really should go."

"I hope I'm not speaking out of term, but Mr. Grey misses you. He spends all night playing the piano and looking at your photos. Please, just stay for dinner." he plea is heartfelt but it's her plea not Christians.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." I let the door close and become overwhelmed with sorrow.

Apov day five post Christian

This whole situation is draining. At work I can focus all my attention on what ever needs to be done, but as I climb the stairs to my apartment my body wants to shut down. If I had my choice, I would climb in bed and sleep until I felt better. Sadly this is the real world and I have a life to live.

I unlock my apartment door and I'm surprised at whose sitting on the couch, flicking through channels.

"Kate? What are you doing here?" I place my bag by there door to hug my best friend who has been stuck on cloud 9.

"Last time I checked I still live here." she jokes playfully.

"Barely. I've been here a week and the only time I've seen you was Tuesday." I woke up to find Kate heading out the door. Apparently she needed some papers that she left on her nightstand.

"I know and trust me I feel horrible about it. But you have me all to yourself for a few days."

"Elliot must be busy, that's the only reason you would willingly come home." I'm joking but there's some truth to it.

"If you must know, I'm here because of Christian."

I can literally feel my heart pounding."If Christian told you to try to get me to come back, I don't want to hear it."

"It's not like that. Elliot and I had dinner at his place and it was painfully obvious that he is anything but OK."

"Kate, I hate that he's hurting but I'm not sure I'm ready to go back just to make him feel better." I'm hurt to and I refuse to give in to my heart break and go running back when I did nothing wrong. She looks at me oddly for a few moments, as if she can see straight to my shattered heart.

"Ana, do you want to know how I feel about Elliot?" Elliot? What does how she feels about Elliot have to do with anything?

"Uh...I guess so."

"When I'm with Elliot I'm the happiest I ever been. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel safe, and untill I found him I hadn't realized how rare those things were. He's my soul mate in every since of the word. I could never imagine losing him, and I could never imagine giving him up willingly." I'm not sure if I was suppose to understand the point of this or not.

"Kate, that's wonderful for you but what does that have to do with me?"

"I think you feel the same way about Christian. It's written on your face and you're just to stubborn to admit it. What did he do to make you give up your happiness? Did he cheat?"

"No"

"Then what was it? I know you and I'm sure you wouldn't be sneaking into his penthouse and stealing pillow cases if you didn't still care about him."

Shit! I can feel the tears slowly slipping down my face. She's right about everything. Christian lied but I can understand why, all I want him to do is understand I can't be left in the dark about things that concern me. "Kate, I'm scared."

She scoots closer to me and wraps me in a hug. "Scared of what?"

"That he'll realize how extremely different we are."

"Ana, please don't make this about money. He loves you. He's gone his whole adult life without falling in love and he fell in love with you."

There's a knock on the door and Kate goes to answer it. I sit and think about what Kate has said and I'm still in a lost as to what is the right thing to do.

"Ana, there's someone here for you."

I wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. "Who is it?"

I make it to the door as Kate is closing it with my visitor close behind. I'm speechless. The only thing standing between me and this psycho is my best friend.

"What do you want?" I glare at Leila as she stands shaking.

"I want more." She pulls a gun out of her trench coat pocket.