Alarms went off in her head when his eyes fell from her own, landing on her lips. Although she fought the urge to do the same, she felt the tug in her head, warning her to get the hell out of there, stat.
"Finn-"
"I'm sorry." Rachel bit her lip, looking down at the table. Finn wouldn't allow it, though. His hand gripped her chin and lifted it, forcing her to gaze into his eyes. "For everything. All of it. None of it was worth losing you."
Rachel let out a heavy breath, her eyes finally falling to look at his lips, which he immediately licked.
She needed to tell him. Before he found out from someone else.
"Finn, I have-"
"Rachel!" One of her co-workers screamed. "Your man's here!"
Finn looked up at that, and Rachel took the opportunity to completely pull away, turning in her chair.
Her man? Rachel had a boyfriend? Of course she had a boyfriend, she was beautiful and smart and super amazing, so yeah that should have been obvious. Still, Finn felt like he was going to puke at the thought. That, or kick something.
Jealousy was a bitch.
Rachel spun towards him, her eyes flashing with something that resembled an apology. "I didn't want you to find out this way." He thought he heard her mumble something along the lines of "or at all", but he didn't understand. Was she that worried about him knowing she had a boyfriend? Why? Did she still care?
His heart gained hope then, and he smiled up at her, not really caring what asshole was about to come strolling through those doors because Rachel was his. They were endgame.
"Where you at, babe?" A deep voice shouted from around the corner. He felt her could take him, whoever it was. He didn't sound like he'd be that much of a fight. "Hello?"
Hold on. Finn knew that voice.
His eyes shot towards Rachel, who looked more than a little guilty. No. No fucking way.
"I was thinking we could see about those hand cuffs tonight. You still have them right?" The man behind the voice asked, strolling around the corner.
Rachel opened her mouth to say something, possibly chastise him for talking about things like that in front of her customers, but she couldn't manage to get a word out. Her stomach was in knots and she knew this wasn't going to end well.
"Rachel?" The man asked, walking right up to her. He looked concerned, and was preparing to speak to her again, when his eyes slid passed the girl who looked about ready to jump out of her own skin, landing on the man who was now standing behind the table. "Well, I sure as shit didn't expect that."
"What the hell?" Finn nearly shouted, pushing his chair back so hard it fell and hit the floor, a loud crash ricocheting like thunder.
"Finn, calm down." Rachel said.
Both men disregarded her though, their eyes straining on the other. "Yeah, calm down, dude."
"You two? Really?!" This time, he was yelling. Several of Rachel's workers came out with questioning looks on their faces, but Rachel merely told them to close up the restaurant and to go back to work.
When she looked back, both men were glaring at each other. "Finn, I'm sorry. I know no one told you, but I didn't think either of us would ever see you again."
"So, what? Are you his girlfriend now?" Finn was seething. How could she do this to him? How could she move on, and onto his best friend? This was so screwed up! Of all people, why did she choose Puck? He felt like he could break a wall. This wasn't how any of this was supposed to turn out.
Puck snorted, and Rachel elbowed him in the side, much to Finn's disdain. He looked at them, waiting for an answer, and it was Rachel who decided to throw the ice bucket of truth at him. "We're engaged, Finn."
"No, there's no way." Finn supplied after a few minutes. Rachel wasn't sure if he was talking to them or himself.
"He asked me last Friday," Rachel whispered, and Finn knew why the words left her mouth so quietly. Because they both knew that he had been here last week. He had been here the day Puck asked her. He could have stopped it. He could have kept this from happening.
Why did everyone choose Puck over him?
His eyes found Puck's fingers wrapped around Rachel's waist, as if they were meant to be there, and Finn couldn't help himself. "Why did you have to go after Rachel, man?! Of all people!" Finn tightly gripped his hair with both hands, looking between the two of them.
Rachel seemed hurt by everything occurring around her, but Puck just held more firmly onto her waist and glared at Finn. "You cheated on her, dude. Stop acting as if you're the one hurting." Puck rolled his eyes and huffed. "We aren't doing this to somehow spite you. Hell, neither of us thought you'd ever come around!"
"And that's my fault?" Finn wanted to scream and rip his god damn hair out! Why was all of this happening? "Like I haven't been waiting for two years for one of you to talk to me and let me know where you were?" His words were meant for both of them, but he couldn't keep himself from focusing on Rachel. Of course Puck had been his best friend, but it was understandable for him to not speak to him. Rachel leaving him, moving out, changing her number, and not telling him about any of it was utterly ridiculous and made him furious.
"Finn-"
"Don't 'Finn' me like that, Rachel Berry." He spat out, his chest constricting when her eyes watered. "You know I won't be able to stay mad if you do, and I really want to stay mad right now, alright?" She bit her lip, nodding quietly.
Finn groaned when Puck started talking again, irrationally hoping he had left. "Look, Hudson. I know it might be hard to believe, but I love Rachel." The taller man swallowed back the bile rising up his throat when Puck smiled down at Rachel, who looked thankful but still uncomfortable. "And I know that she loved you once, because I was the one picking up the pieces and stuff when she was crying on the phone to me." Finn's eyes went to Rachel, who was incredibly interested in her shoes. "But that's over, and I hope you don't try to be a dick-" Rachel hit him in the stomach, and Puck once again rolled his eyes. "I mean jerk, about it all because Berry and I are actually super good together and she gets me more than anyone I've ever met. Like, even when I'm being an asshole and don't pay attention to her, she's really cool about it and lets me know that I need to get my shit together, and I do."
Finn's automatic thought was that he would always pay attention to her. But, then he tried to access the more rational part of his mind. Rachel was happy right now, or so she seemed, and Puck seemed even better off than when he was with Quinn. Besides, isn't this what he wanted? To move on? Albeit that the wrong person in his future fantasy moved on first, and onto his best friend at that, but still, it was a start. A super painful start, but one nonetheless.
"I won't do anything to mess it up." Finn said, Rachel whipping her head towards him. He wouldn't?
Puck smiled at his former friend, holding his hand out. "Kickass, dude." Rachel nudged him again and Puck squeezed her sides, causing her to outright laugh, to which he kissed her quickly and chuckled. "Babe, you've changed me for the better and stuff, but there are just some things you can't change about the Puckster!"
Nope, he definitely wasn't ready to see any of this.
Finn swiftly turned around, tossing down a few bucks for his drink and getting ready to get out of there when the sweetest and kindest and worst voice in the world stopped him. "Finn?" He took several breaths before he could look at her, her body now fully separated from Puck's and a small smile on her pink lips. "We're having dinner at our house with a lot of old friends tomorrow night." She picked at a fallen strand of hair, entrancing Finn despite knowing Puck was right beside her. "Puck said he's inviting Santana too, and I don't know if you two are still close," Rachel inwardly sighed when she remembered how being jealous of the Latina was the least of her problems, "but you are welcome to come if you'd like."
She knew it'd be torture for him, and that he probably wouldn't go, but she wanted to offer him the choice because, well, even if she had moved on, she still missed him. She missed him more than anything, and seeing him again would definitely bring a bit more happiness to her in this confusing time.
He wanted to say no, wanted to yell and scream about how that would literally be the last thing he wanted to do. But, she was giving him that look that made him malleable and bend to her whims. "What time?" He choked out, defeated by his own emotions.
"6." Puck walked towards him. "If you give me your number, I'll text you the address."
They exchanged numbers and even had a few laughs before Finn left, almost as if they were friends again.
They weren't friends, though. If they were friends, Finn wouldn't be back at that restaurant the next morning, sending one of the waitresses to go and find her so that he could spend more time with her alone. He wouldn't be thinking of ways to get her back. He wouldn't still be so hopelessly in love with her.
So, no. He and Puck weren't friends.
"Finn? What are you doing here?" Rachel asks, drawing him from his thoughts.
He smiled up at her, and this time her hair is down, hardly any make-up and one of her high-waisted skirts that he loved so much clinging to her petite body. "I just thought that maybe I could take you out for lunch."
Rachel beamed back at him, pulling out her phone and looking at the time. "I usually don't leave until noon, and while I don't condone neglecting work," Finn couldn't help but chuckle at how she always managed to fit a life lesson into a normal sentence, "I suppose 7 minutes isn't going to kill anyone."
She ran to the back, grabbing her purse and coming back out, telling on of her workers that she was taking lunch and would be back in an hour or so.
"Who's this?" A male host asked from behind the podium in the front. Finn smiled at the man, a little anxious under his heavy stare. "Is he single?"
Rachel looked between the man and Finn. "Um, this is my… my… Finn." He was positive his grin couldn't get any bigger, and Rachel was positive that she was an absolute idiot. My Finn? Ugh, Rachel. Get control of yourself. "Finn, this is Randall. One of my Host."
Finn shook the man's hand. "You never answered the last question." Randall reminded her, and Rachel realized that Finn himself hadn't told her whether or not he had a girlfriend. She also realized that she really didn't care to know. Still, she looked over to him in question.
"Yes, I'm single." Finn spoke almost carefully. "For two years now." He allowed himself to glance at Rachel, not sure how to feel about her mouth opening and shutting a few times. It had been inappropriate, he knew that. But still, he felt as if she needed to know that he hadn't moved on. Even if she was about to be married, that didn't mean he didn't love her.
Randall looked between the two of them, the tension obvious. He smiled, pushing Rachel towards the door. "Well, have fun you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He added in a sing song voice. This brought on an even more awkward aura, and Randall chuckled softly. "Kidding, now go."
Rachel waved, walking through the door that Finn held open for her. When they stepped out together, each was assaulted with the cool New York air. "I didn't realize it was this cold." Rachel's chattering teeth were nearly as loud as the car horns from the nearby traffic. When Finn looked at her, he noticed she didn't have a jacket.
"Rachel, you're going to freeze! Go back in and get your jacket." He commanded her, stopping her from walking any further.
"I didn't bring one today." Finn gave her a disapproving look before taking a step away from her. Rachel watched as he slipped his long arms out of his own jacket. "Finn, no! Then you'll be cold!" She tried to make him stop, but he continued to shed the layer of clothing, and once he finished, he gave her a small smirk, pushing the fabric onto her tiny shoulders. The arms of the jacket brushed against her knees.
Finn lifted his own arms to show her the sleeves of his sweater. "I, unlike someone I know, actually pay attention to the weather when I walk outside."
Rolling her eyes, Rachel grabbed his arm and pulled him along with her as they continued to walk. "Thank you, Finn."
"No problem."
They walked for a while, Finn leading. Rachel was still completely unaware of where they were going. She had asked plenty of times, but Finn would just smile childishly down at her, like he was dragging her downstairs to show her Christmas presents, and not all over New York. 'You'll see', he kept saying, but it had been at last half an hour. She was definitely going to need to call in to work and let them know she wouldn't be there at 1.
"Alright, we're here." Finn announced, and when Rachel looked up, she squealed.
"Finn! Are you serious!?" She jumped up and down, smiling and pulling his cheek down to kiss it. Finn's breath quickly was sucked from his body, but Rachel only laughed happily, pulling him into the karaoke bar.
The odd looking pair pranced in, the smaller of the two eager enough for the two of them as she bounced in front of the man at the front. "Where do we sign up for karaoke?"
He looked down at her, his eyes soaking her all in, and Finn felt himself hold onto her a little tighter. How did this man know they weren't dating? He was given no indication that they weren't, and yet he still looked at her like that!
"You sing, sweetheart?" The man asked, leaning over the desk in front of him and laying his chin in his hand.
Rachel nodded, clearly oblivious to the flirtatious nature of the son of a bitch before her.
"I'd like to see that mouth of yours do something," he mumbled, and Finn felt himself crack.
He slammed his hand down on the hard surface, making Rachel jump back and the man glare. "How about you shut the hell up and not talk about her like that, alright?"
"Finn," Rachel whispered, putting her hand over his and pulling it away. He automatically lost most of the anger he felt, staring down at her by his side. She gave him a reassuring smile, tightening her grip on his hand. She looked at the man who was now sizing up Finn. Clearly he was delusional if he thought she would ever choose him over Finn. Hypothetically, of course. "Sir that is no way to speak to a customer. Now, the signup sheet please."
The man rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he pulled out a booklet that had pages and pages of songs, sliding it over to her. "You go and talk to the woman behind the bar, let her know what song you want to sing and she'll set it up for you."
"Thank you," she beamed, walking away. Finn glared at the man as he followed behind her.
The lady behind the bar told them to wait until the next person finished, and so they took a seat at an open table. Finn ordered them some fried pickles and a salad for Rachel, to which she seemed surprised.
"What?"
Rachel brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You remembered that I'm a vegan." She was surprised that he remembered that?
"Well, yeah. That's a big part of your life, so of course I remember." He told her like it was nothing. But, it wasn't nothing.
"Noah often forgets," she said quietly. She probably shouldn't tell Finn any of the things Noah does wrong in their relationship, but if there was anything Finn and Rachel had been more than lovers, it was friends. It felt natural to tell him these things.
Finn snorted, leaning further across the table. Close enough that his freckles that were splattered across his cheeks were in clear view. "Yeah, well, he's an idiot, so what can you expect?" He smiled widely.
She shoved his shoulder, laughing. "He's not an idiot. He just has other things on his mind." More like other people.
Finn's smile faltered, and Rachel felt his fingers pulling on hers. Her insides clenched when his thumb began to rub circles on the top, smooth skin being soothed by calloused fingers. "You should be the only thing on his mind, Rach."
She didn't mean to say it. She really didn't. It was just a moment of word vomit, and before she knew it, it came spewing out. "Like I was the only thing on your mind when you were kissing Quinn?"
Expecting anger, Rachel ducked her eyes, waiting for the argument. So, she didn't quite know how to handle it when Finn said, "Yeah, you were."
Her brown eyes met his, each trying to figure the other out. What did he mean? If he was thinking of her, why the hell did he kiss Quinn? It just didn't make any sense.
"Why are you with Puck, Rachel?" Finn asked, his voice calm, but his heart thundering. Just the thought of the two of them together made him sick.
"Because I love him," she answered. Finn could tell that she was still convincing herself of that.
Finn shook his head. "No you don't. At least, not in that way." Rachel opened her mouth to speak, probably to tell him he was wrong, but he kept talking. "I know you, Rachel. You can't honestly tell me that you want to marry him." His voice dropped to a whisper, his eyes zoomed in on the small action of her licking her lips. Oh god, he missed them. He wanted to kiss her right there.
He was right. Of course, they both knew he was right, but what kind of person would she be if she told Finn that? Wouldn't that be cheating? She wasn't going to let someone else cheat on Puck, not after everything he has been through.
"Rachel Berry?" The speaker at the karaoke stage asked.
She scrambled from her seat, pulling her hand away from Finn's quickly and running over to the stage.
When she got up there, she smiled politely at the man who handed her the mic and asked what she wanted to sing. She told him in hushed words, then walked up to the mic stand and looked out into the bar, the eight or nine people in the room ignoring her. Except for Finn, obviously.
"My name is Rachel Berry, and I'm going to sing Fallin by Alicia Keys." She nervously looked at Finn, and by the emotionless look on his face, she knew he didn't know the song.
Honestly, it was a dumb idea for her to have done this in the first place. It was risky and stupid, but she couldn't help herself. When she had seen the song in the little book of songs, she was sure it was calling to her.
I keep on fallin, in love, with you
The words swept through her easily, lifting her from the funk she had recently been in because she was finally singing. It had been so long since she performed and she had missed it so much.
Finn, on the other hand, was falling. Falling in so many ways that this song seemed like his anthem. Falling harder in love, falling from his oblivious clouds where he had thought she might not have loved him back.
Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue,
Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used,
He winced at the way she looked at him, the hurt in her eyes. He hadn't intended to make her feel used. He loved her. He wanted to make her feel good always.
Lovin you darling makes me confused,
I keep on fallin in and out of love with you,
I never loved someone the way that I love you,
Oh I never felt this way,
She closed her eyes and tore through the rest of the lyrics, knowing she should be picturing Puck in her mind, but incapable of thinking of anyone other than Finn. Finn sleeping soundly in her bed, Finn carrying her when she got tired, Finn curled up with her watching movies, Finn, Finn, Finn.
When the song came to an end, Rachel walked away smiling to herself. She didn't know why she had given up on singing in the first place. It was her life, her baby. She had been nursing her voice since she was a small child, nothing could take that away from her.
The people around her clapped, and she blushed, finding her way back to Finn.
His arms were wrapped around her before she knew what was happening, his whispered compliment in her ear making her lower half heat up.
"You were amazing."
Rachel smiled and thanked him, ignoring his questioning look because duh. He wanted to know who she was singing to. But she couldn't answer that. Wouldn't allow herself to.
So, instead, they talked about lighter things as he walked her back to work. Where he lived now, his travels, how Blaine had a new boyfriend that she absolutely adored, how Mercedes was dating a stripper. Finn told her how Santana moved in with her girlfriend, Brittany, and that he now lived alone in a penthouse suite. Rachel had nearly forgotten how much money he had. He was so humble about it that it was easy to look passed.
He gave her a small hug and told her he'd see her later that night, to which Rachel's face lit up in recognition because in the heat of the moment, she had completely forgotten about it. And then he left, and Rachel groaned loudly with frustration. This wasn't how she saw this day going.
Okay, okay so I understand you all might be frustrated about the whole Puckleberry thing, but just realize that all will work out. Probably. Also! If I get... Let's say 15 reviews between this chapter and the one I'll be posting sometime early tomorrow, I'll try to finish off the story and post the last chapter tomorrow as well.
So, remember! 15 reviews (or more, more is better) and hell, message me at finnhudsonauditorium . tumblr . com and make me extra happy. Have a wonderful day, my beautiful readers!