A/N: Yes, I'm alive! Barely, since I had to take an English language exam on Satuday, but still - quite alive. xD I feel a bit out of shape from all this studying - I mean, really, my head is sort of swimming all the time though I'm most definitely not sick. I also have a bunch of things to do but for some reason I can't seem to be able to bring myself to do that. I need to start thinking about letters of motivation and - blah - it's killing me to realize that I don't have all that much of an outstanding school life to share. Well, at least I'm short. Maybe I'll become the next Napoleon. *stupid laughter* ...Anyhow. I've turned these author notes into an update on my personal troubles, for which I'm very sorry. I'll now go.

"I think this is a sign." Came a small murmur from the darkness and Ichigo's brows shot up in an incredulous expression that he knew the shorter teen couldn't possibly make out in their current and very much devoid of light predicament. He felt his lips curl up in a disbelieving scoff, but he bit back the urge to make a remark as he heard a soft shuffle somewhere before him and a pair of hands landed on his chest, pushing him back just enough to make a point. "This isn't a good idea, Kurosaki."

"And why not?" the carrot-top enquired smoothly, stepping back obediently to give Toushiro some space "About that thing at the party, I swear-"

"No, no, I-" Hitsugaya cleared his throat and by the faint movement that could actually be detected, Ichigo assumed the other one was running his fingers through his damp hair – a fidget gesture, meant to cover up the fact that the genius was struggling to come up with a decent answer. "I'm your captain." He finished lamely and the strawberry huffed.

"So were you to Ichimaru."

"Yes." Toushiro agreed in a small voice as he tentatively tried to get around the taller male and away from the confines of the narrow staircase. "And look how that ended."

The waft of gentle, almost imperceptible scent that was purely Hitsugaya washed over the taller student, intensifying for a second as the genius came closer and fading as the steps hesitantly moved towards the kitchen (where the light was supposed to be better due to the windows).

"Do you have any candles?"

"Nope." Ichigo replied, although he was pretty sure they did, he just didn't feel like launching into a quest right now and letting Toushiro distract them from the topic of their current half-bicker. Taking a deep breath, the carrot-top slowly followed his classmate, grateful to the quite regular flashes of light that squeezed through the curtains from every passing car's headlights. "I thought you were heading for the bathroom." He pointed out as he watched the still soaking boy sit down gingerly on one of the chairs, the water still dripping off every cell of his body. It wasn't like Ichigo insisted on losing the kid from sight but that didn't mean that he wasn't slightly anxious about Hitsugaya catching a cold or feeling uncomfortable… A towel and some wringing of those clothes might've been a good idea…

"I decided against it till the power comes back. No use wandering aimlessly in a house that I don't know. And I doubt I'll see anything in the bathroom, right? Since you don't have any candles, or other source of illumination…?" the last part sounded too much like a suspicious enquiry but Ichigo decided to ignore it, choosing instead to seat himself in the chair next to his guest in a way that left both of them sitting sideway, with their knees pointing towards each other.

"I want to talk about this." The carrot-top stated earnestly, watching carefully as a small puff escaped Toushiro's lips and a thin white eyebrow quirked in a half teasing fashion.

"Gee, you're more of a girl that I thought…" Hitsugaya noted but Ichigo saw right threw the badly constructed attempt to throw him off track.

"I'm serious. If we leave it like this, you'll be all awkward and reluctant to discuss this tomorrow." When Hitsugaya opened his mouth to protest, Ichigo hurried to cut him off with a small wave of his hand "You already are. Better sort this out now."

"You want to talk about relationship stuff while the power's out and there's a storm outside?" came the incredulous question and the carrot-top nodded, squaring his shoulders as he tried to look as directly as possible into the dim area where he knew Toushiro's eyes were supposed to be. A flash of light splashed across the room for a trice, the modicum amount of time giving Ichigo just a flash of the boy's face but what he saw etched into the pale features was enough. This was bothering Hitsugaya far more than he wanted to let on.

"Yes."

A grumble, then Toushiro's hand landed on the table with a surprisingly loud bang, palm flat on the surface in what seemed to be slightly annoyed manner.

"Fine." The genius agreed curtly, almost hostilely "What do you want to know?"

Ichigo bit the side of his mouth, a hue of anxiety seeping into his system as he tried to process the accumulating heap of questions down and sift out only the most vital ones. Ask the right thing while he still could.

"Is it Ichimaru?"

Even in the quivering embrace of the darkness, he could see those incredibly large jade eyes widen, flabbergasted in the most compromising, yet distant way possible. Toushiro definitely hadn't expected that, hadn't been prepared to tackle the question and it was both pleasing and a bit worrisome. A defensive flood of lies was the last thing that Ichigo wanted right now, especially since, for once, he knew he had hit the nail on the head.

"What?"

"Ichimaru Gin. Is he the reason why you're so diffident and unwilling to even try? Because you still have feelings for him?"

Hitsugaya pulled back sharply at those words, a look of slight animosity falling across his face so suddenly Ichigo nearly jumped back himself. He could almost hear the thud of each brick as his last statement started erecting a thick wall between the two of them. Wrong turn, wrong, wrong, wro-

"What I feel or don't feel fails to be any of your business!" Toushiro snapped, a glint of teeth shining in the darkness as the boy slid his arm from the table and in his lap to join his other one. "You don't know anything about what happened between Gi-… Ichimaru and me!"

"Of course." Ichigo consented immediately, letting his voice assume the most appeasing tone possible. "I know that and I wouldn't have it any other way… But you claim to have moved on. And it definitely… doesn't seem that way to me."

"I have. I mean-…" Hitsugaya paused, a small shaky sigh leaving his lips and the carrot-top saw the pair of jade orbs flutter shut for a moment. "To an extent… To an extent I probably never will, he probably never will, that's why-"

"He said something about me, didn't he? About the team and me taking his place?" The supposition was far-fetched, and brusque, and quite vain too, but Ichigo had let the words slip – firm and strangely certain – before he could even stop himself. Once they were out, he suddenly felt stupid and incredibly brazen and he closed his eyes, expecting Toushiro to yell at him or shoot him down with some snarky remark for the audacity. Nothing of the sort happened. Letting himself peek from under his eyelids Ichigo was surprised to find Hitsugaya looking down at his lap in what the carrot-top assumed was a guilty expression. "Fuck, he did? What did he do? Did he threaten you? Did he-"

"No!" Toushiro cut him off quickly, a hint of panic in his voice for a second before he cleared his throat, swiftly regaining control over his composure. "He just-… I don't know, he didn't exactly-…" he exhaled in what appeared to be a strange mix of desperation and annoyance. "Kurosaki, you don't know what he's done for me. I owe him, I can't just go and-… And do this-" he pointed his index finger back and forth between the two of them, a frantic and slightly shaky gesture, aiming to make everything clearer before he eventually finishing with as much finality as he could possibly muster "-to him!"

"Dammit, Toushiro!" Ichigo groaned, resisting the urge to slap his forehead in frustration, the tone that he used apparently imposing enough to stop the shorter male from correcting him for the address "Are you going to stay single for the rest of your life just to make sure he doesn't accidentally end up being dissatisfied with you not being miserable?"

"You don't get it…"

"Like how?" voice dripping with sarcasm, Ichigo tapped his fingers against the smooth surface of the table next to him. "What do I not get about you willingly turning into a spinster?"

A small pause followed afterwards and in the sudden quietness of the room the carrot-top easily heard the audible, awkward gulp that the captain forced down his throat.

"I know him, Kurosaki." Toushiro whispered softly. "He's gonna take it out on you. He will find a way, and I can't risk that. I can't risk losing your company out of selfishness… It's not worth it."

Letting out a frustrated growl, Ichigo had reached forward and grasped the boy's shoulders before he could stop himself, the outlines of the widened jade eyes suddenly quite clear even in the dim light.

"It is worth it. You're worth it. I want to give this a chance." he insisted. "I can't have you backing off for such a strange, inconsistent logic, okay? I can't. And you know that I won't. If you don't want to try, if you really don't feel anything towards me, then fine. I'll back off." Peering deeply into the glowing set of orbs, Ichigo nodded his head determinately and added softly "Just say the words, and I'll be gone."

Say it!

"I-" the syllables felt like glue against Toushiro's tongue and he swallowed with difficulty, trying again. "I don't-"

Ichigo's heart skipped a beat, his hold on the thin shoulders tightening ever so slightly as he tried to urge the other one to finish. The air felt thick between them, slow, stagnant, almost as if it was pushing against both of their chests to keep this strange, unnatural situation from reaching its end. A small, quivering breath whooshed from Toushiro's lips and the carrot-top felt his stomach drop in his feet.

"I can't." the answer was timid, ashamed even and as Hitsugaya looked up, he could grasp quite well the vivid look of regret on the boy's face. "I do think I… kindda like you. I just-"

Refusing to hear the next ridiculous monsoon of uncertainties, Ichigo leaned forward, capturing the pair of smooth lips in a kiss.

Flashback:

Drumming his fingers on the polished surface of the bar, Gin realized that for the first time since God knew how many year, he was truly, genuinely beyond frustrated. It had been three days since he had last spoken to the boy and against all logic, he couldn't chase away the feeling of uneasiness and… what's this?... regret?... every time he thought about their little encounter. And think he did, much more often than he was willing to admit, his slit eyes now constantly trailing across the surroundings to glue on the tiny bookshop across the street. He spent hours looking at the place now, straining to see past the heaps of novels, encyclopedias and magazines arranged so snuggly behind the thick window glass, he was trying to make out a silhouette, a figure at the back, a movement behind a counter, anything. Gin wanted to catch a glimpse of the peculiar little teen and the fact that he hadn't done anything about it yet, even if the solution was just a couple of meters away, was scraping his thin, thin patience layer by layer with each passing hour. Sooner or later it was going to be too much and he knew it, the fact making him just increasingly more agitated to do something. What was he going to say? Apologize to the local druggy for hurting his feelings? Thank him for helping him out with his math? Fucking pathetic! He was doing neither, not now, not in a million years because he had absolutely no interest in this Toushiro kid whatsoever and if anyone thought the opposite, they could go fuck themselves for all he cared!

"'m takin' a break." Ichimar announced, never even glancing at the bartender as he descended from the tall chair he had been occupying and rushed out of the bar and across the street before he could properly process what he was doing.

The bookshop's door didn't ring when he pushed it to enter and he was fairly grateful for that because as he made his way inside the place a faint murmur reached his ears.

"-Nah, Grimm, they're almost done. I just have a couple of more things to look at, I'll give it to you when you come tonight… You're coming, right?... What did I tell you about your stupid sex jokes? No, it's not charming in the slightest…" Toushiro's small figure emerged from behind one of the bookshelves, one hand holding a bulky mobile phone to his ear as the other one pressed a pack of ice to his the side of his forehead. "I don't need you to kiss anything to make it better, it's just a small bump, she was too wasted to hit right. Shut up. Do I need to remind you were you stand in my life? I'm quite fine on my own, thank you very-" Hitsugaya stopped dead in his track, his eyes widening ever so slightly as they fell upon Gin's figure, the shocked expression quickly twisting into a scowl. "I'll call you later, Grimm, something came up."

Hanging up and stuffing his mobile into his pocket, Toushiro wrapped his free arm around his middle, his other hand still pressing against the abused spot on his head as he eyed Ichimaru up and down.

"What are you doing here?"

Gin's eyes traveled down the slim, almost impossibly skinny figure before coming to a halt on the small badge that was attached to Hitsugaya's white shirt.

"Guess ya weren' lying bout workin' 'ere, huh?" Ichimaru noted, cocking his head to the side with slight amusement that had Toushiro's frown just deepening.

"Is that what you came to check? Good for you. You can hit the road now."

"Mah, mah, not so fast, you're being very unwellcomin' ta customers."

"You're not a customer, you're an asshole, and as such I have absolutely no interest in speaking to you." Hitsugaya stated bluntly, making his way to the counter and plopping down in his chair. The tiny dry smile that twisted his thin pale lips was definitely not an amiable one but Gin didn't seem to me affected in the slightest by that as he approached the boy. "Honest, I won't be offended if you leave."

"What happened to yer head?" Gin asked, gesturing towards the pack of ice with a quirked eyebrow. Hitsugaya's eyes immediately darkened, lips pursing in a tight line as he gave the taller male a look of utter disbelief for the insultingly lightly expressed impudence.

"Well… None of your fucking business. How's that for an answer?" Toushiro snapped, removing the ice from his head and dropping it in the bin beside his legs with frustration. "Leave?"

"So hostile, 'm offended." Ichimaru said smoothly, his grin widening a little as he made let his fingers graze against slightly jagged edge of the counter casually. "Are ya gonna be a lil more inclined ta talk if I bought a book? I see ya're in need fo' any type of customers right now."

Hitsugaya narrowed his eyes, teeth baring a little as he hissed lowly:

"You can go to hell!"

"Ya'll be there befo' me cuz I dun get high." Seeing the way Toushiro's features twisted in anger, Gin quickly added, smashing the raising chuckle down with some effort for the sake of at least some maintenance of this joke of civility they were having. "Fine, not funny. But I haven' come ta fight with ya."

"And what, may I ask, have you come for?"

Ichimaru paused, his fingertips dancing across the counter before him for a minute as he contemplated his answer.

"Talk?"

Hitsugaya shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so. His pale face was distant, clear though, and below the peculiarly thick mask of composure and annoyance, Gin was surprised to see the still smoldering wounds of the hurt he had caused.

"It doesn't work like this. You can't just spit all your disgust on me one moment and then come back, claiming you're interested in my company." The boy pointed out, lips tightening a little as he finished and in the faded shine of the jade orbs Ichimaru spotted disappointment. What is this? Disappointment, hurt, maybe resignation? It was something that Gin had both expected to see and had deeply hoped he wouldn't, because insulting somebody for no reason – someone he hardly even knew – wasn't supposed to affect the taller male as much as it did. And the faint shadows of the damage he had cost just seemed to make the situation even harder to swallow.

"Ya're right." Gin had spoken the sentence way before he even realized what was leaving his mouth. "Ya're very much right not to want ta talk ta me. Actually, ya probably shouldn', cuz in tha best case 'm probably gonna end up pokin' in the wrong places again, but…" he paused, picking his next words carefully, tasting, savoring them for a few moments till he was sure he wanted to actually enunciate them "Fo' what it's worth, I am sorry. Fo' misjudging ya." He paused. "Ya seem like a nice kid. Jus' one with some seriously fucked up life…"

For a couple of seconds there was nothing, Hitsugaya's eyes still digging deeply into his own as the boy tried to comprehend how sincere this all was. Then the hard, stern expression slowly dripped off Toushiro's face, softening the strained features and revealing something incredibly weary and forlorn underneath as he sighed.

"It's okay." He said, smiling faintly. "Do you want to sit down, I can bring you a chair?"

End of Flashback.

A/N: Do I need to remind you to review?