Chapter 13

Miles and VJ stand there holding back laughter as they watch Leah face expression change from being calm to being petrified. As the shopkepper presents her with the choice of dogs on offer.

Shopkeeper, "How about this one?"

She brings forward a Rottweiler.

Leah jumps back.

Leah, "Yeah er yeah"

Miles, "Yes Leah you look happy with that choice"

Leah, "Shut up Miles will you?"

VJ, "Oh go on Mum can I have him?"

Leah, "Errr"

Shopkeeper, "Madam I must say you seem very sacred"

Leah tries to laugh the shopkeeper's suggest of being sacred off.

Leah, "What me nooo never"

Miles and VJ both cough and cover the mouths and say.

Miles/VJ , "She is"

Leah, "I'm sorry what was that you two?"

Miles, "Oh nothing baby you just love dogs so much"

VJ, "Yes Mum your not a chicken or anything"

With that Miles and VJ start to walk round the shop while flapping their arms and making chicken noises.

Leah looks round the shop nervously as other customers start to laugh.

Leah, "Shut up you two I'm not that bad really"

Miles lets out a loud gawking noise in Leah ear.

Leah, "Miles VJ can you stop this your embarrassing me"

Miles and VJ both collapse against some empty animal cages laughing their heads off. Pasting customer slap them on their back congratulating them for giving them a good laugh. One customer solemnly looks at Miles and shakes his head.

Customer, "You will be in the dog house after this for a long time"

Miles, "Ah very good one very fitting joke in the dog house"

Miles grins.

Customer, "Oh yeah wrong choice of words sorry"

The Customer bursts out laughing as does Miles and VJ. Leah glares at them.

The Customer quickly rushes off at a fast pace as Leah's dragger look scares him.

Leah, "I don't know why you think I'm sacred of dogs"

VJ, "Jezz mum you don't?"

Miles, "Hmm it might be because you look like your going to wet yourself every time your shown a dog"

Leah, "Shut up Miles your sacred of clowns"

Miles, "I am not"

VJ, "You are actually"

Miles, "Hey quiet you your spouse to be on my side"

VJ, "I am but when I used to watch that old birthday video from Dad you hid behind the sofa"

Miles, "Naa I did that to cheer you up in case you cried"

Leah, "Getting back to the point here I would like you two to admit I haven't got a dog phobia"

Miles, "Ok we will and we will just ignore that shaking your doing there"

As the sounds of the barking round Leah grew louder she started to tremble.

Leah, "I'm shaking from anger I'm feeling towards you two right now saying I'm sacred of dogs when I'm not I mean come on get serious"

Miles and VJ sigh.

Shop keeper, "Excuse me Madam to be fair you have been here for three hours now and you haven't even stroked one yet or even come close to choosing one"

Leah, "I advise you to keep quiet or I will speak to your supervisor"

Shop Keeper, "You can his only over there"

Leah spots her supervisor who is waving across at them.

Supervisor, "I must say I agree you look petrified Madam"

Leah, "Right then here I go does everyone want me to stroke a goddam dog just to prove to everyone I don't have this ridiculous fear"

Everyone nods.

Leah edges her way towards Doberman Picher feeling everybody's eyes burning into the back of her head.

Leah, "Stay calm now a quick stroke that's all it is its not as if I'm going to die is it?"

Leah felt her heart beat hard in her chest as she stenches her arm out toward the Doberman. She could feel herself start to sweat she turns to grin at everyone watching.

Everyone grinned back and nodd towards the waiting dog.

As Leah's hand edges closer she screws her eyes shut tightly. She can now feel the dogs breath on her fingertips. God she was so hot and sacred she had the strongest feeling that she needs the toilet her heart is beating really fast. She opens one eye a faction and looks at the dog in the cage in the its eye she quickly closes her eye again nearly there she thinks she feels the touch of fur under her fingernails.

Miles and VJ looked across at the shopkeeper a worried look on her face.

Mouthing the words to the shop keeper.

Miles/VJ, "What's wrong?"

The shop keeper starts to shake her head and arms fanatically.

Leah was sat couching before the cage saying to herself.

Leah, "Oh its not that bad actually why am I so sacred its silly really VJ I think I have found the dog for you"

VJ, "ER Mum"

Leah, "Don't tell me you don't like him now his a friendly fellow I…."

The shopkeeper screams.

Shopkeeper, "MADAM DON'T STORKE BORIS HE BITES"

Leah, "No his not his licking me"

Shopkeeper, "His getting ready too Madam"

Miles with a horrified look on his face says.

Miles, "It looks like his tasting you first"

Leah, "Oh Miles you are silly sometimes"

Boris stops licking Leah's hand and pulls back bearing his teeth.

Shopkeeper, "Madam I advise you to remove your fingers right now"

Leah, "Will everyone stop panicking It's fine I….."

The noise of nashing teeth can be heard as Boris goes in for the bite.

Leah, "Oh my"

Miles, "Leah are you ok did he get you?"

Leah who is staring at her hand in shock glances up at Miles and says.

Leah, "Miles I think I have wet myself"

Leah then faints.

A few hours later at Summer Bay House.

Miles has laid Leah on the sofa. Miles and VJ watches her as she comes round.

Miles, "Hey you"

Leah, "Hey what happened?"

VJ, "You nearly had my hand bitten off trust you mum to find the only dog in the shop that bites"

Leah, "Has your Mum nearly being eaten put you off having a dog now VJ?"

Miles mutters to himself.

Miles, "Oh come on you weren't nearly eaten"

Leah, "I'm sorry Miles what was that?"

Miles holds his hands up.

Miles, "Oh I was just saying to myself that I think your really pretty"

Leah, "Oh good for a second I thought you might have been disagreeing with me?"

Miles, "NEVER I would never do that I value my life to much"

Leah smiles at Miles and turns to VJ.

Leah, "Well has seeing you're Mum nearly being eaten alive put you off getting a dog?"

VJ, "Oh no I still want one"

Leah sighs.

Leah, "Why do you want one so bad?"

VJ blushes.

VJ, "Oh I don't know do you have to ask me that I can't tell you"

Miles, "I can its to impress a girl"

Leah, "Oh yes who?"

VJ, "I cant tell you that"

Miles, "Lilly"

Leah, "No I don't like lilies Miles"

VJ, "You don't oh great"

Leah, "No I don't"

Miles, "Lilly really why on earth don't you like…"

Leah, "Gives me hay fever"

Miles and VJ look at each other confused.

Miles, "Lilly gives you hay fever but she's a human being"

Leah, "Lilies are flowers Miles"

Miles, "No we are talking about Gypsy's daughter Lilly"

Leah laughs.

Leah, "Oh yeah she's nice"

Miles and VJ look at each other.

VJ, "Yes Mum Lilly I thought you had gone bonkers for a while there"

Leah, "I was only teasing I knew really who you meant"

Miles and VJ together. "Sure you did"

Leah, "Anyway cant you impress Lilly some other way?"

VJ, How she's so pretty and I go shy with her and…"

Miles, "Get a car"

VJ, "Miles that's a great idea but I'm 13"

Miles, "That is true"

Leah, "Just be yourself VJ"

Miles starts laughing and looks very excited rubbing his hand together.

Miles, "Go on show her"

VJ, "I do have another way to impress her actually"

Leah, "Oh what is that?"

VJ pulls a snake from behind his back.

Leah looks at her son in shock.

VJ, "After you fainted Miles brought me a snake to say sorry about not getting a dog"

Miles, "Go on touch it"

VJ throws the snake on top of his mother.

Leah screams and faints again.

VJ, "I wasn't expecting that its only a rubber snake"

Meanwhile at the Farm House.

Sid, "Er Romeo will you past me the paper please?"

Heath, "Why are you calling me Romeo surely I'm not that wooden"

Sid, "Romeo just give me the…"

Sid blinks and shakes his head.

Sid, "Heath sorry I didn't see you there"

Heath, "Why not are you going blind or something?"

Sid, "No I… why on earth have you got Romeo's clothes on?"

Dex, "I wondered that too"

Indi, "Yeah I didn't know how to ask you that question babe"

Sid, "Where are you clothes Heath?"

Heath, "I don't know I think I lost them"

Indi, "You do that a lot don't you?"

Dex, "How do you lose your clothes?"

Heath, "Maybe I didn't lose them"

Sid, "Where are they then?"

Heath, "Maybe I gave them away to charily"

Everyone chokes on their breakfast.

Heath looks round and says.

Heath, "What"

Sid, "You're a River Boy Heath"

Heath, "So what?"

Sid, "Now I might be wrong here but I can't see the River Boys giving their clothes away to charity somehow"

Indi gets up as there is a knock from the door.

Indi, "Babe its Casey"

Heath, "Yo bro"

Indi, "Well I'll leave you two to it I will go and make myself look sexy for you"

Indi skips out.

Sid "Yes I'm off now too I can feel and long session with my bowels coming honestly this constipation is driving me mad"

Sid vanishes to the bathroom with his paper.

Nobody notices Dex still sitting there.

Casey, "Heath Brax wants to see you there's a big shipment of …"

Casey spots Dex trying to listen.

Casey, "Well you know what I'm talking about Heath"

Heath looks confused.

Casey sighs.

Casey, "Oh you really are a dumbass Heath…"

Casey stops talking and stares at Heath.

Heath grins.

Casey, "Er they aren't your clothes"

Heath, "What is it with everyone's obsessed with clothes in this town will I just strip will that make everyone happy"

Dex, "Oh yes"

Heath shakes his fist at Dex and growls.

Casey, "Oh stop trying to act tough will you hang on now their Romeo's clothes aren't they?"

Heath growls louder and slams his hand down on the table causing Dex to jump causing him to fall off his chair.

Heath says in his demanding voice.

Heath, "Yes their Romeo's clothes"

Dex jumps to his feet dusting himself off and flips a notepad from his shirt pocket and starts walking round the table.

Dex, "Hmmm where is Romeo and how have you got his clothes?"

Heath, "I don't know maybe they just fell off his body and I picked them up"

Dex scribes onto his note pad.

Dex, "Yes Heath but not very likely Romeo is a human being not a snake he doesn't shred his skin you see"

Heath, "I don't know maybe he grew to big for them and they didn't fit anymore"

Dex, "I know Romeo is tall dude but last time I saw him in wasn't having a growth sprout"

Heath, "I don't know about his clothes then but maybe he has blended into the wood work"

Dex, "Well thank you I have taken note your points down on this notepad and I have to the collusion that your lying"

Heath grins.

Heath, "Ok do you want me to tell you the truth?"

Casey and Dex nod.

Heath grins sitting back in his seat patting his stomach and burps.

Dex, "Well?"

Heath, "His in there"

Casey, "Where?"

Heath gestures towards his stomach.

Dex, "What's he doing in there?"

Heath, "Well not much"

Casey, "What are you talking about are you drunk?"

Heath, "I eat him"

Casey, "Of course you did"

Dex, "What did he taste like?"

Heath, "Chicken quite plain really"

Dex, "No shock there"

Sid comes down the stairs a look of relief on his face.

Sid, "Phew I wouldn't go in the bathroom for a while if I was you I dropped a stinker in there"

Dex, "Dad Heath has eaten Romeo"

Sid grins and rushes over to Heath grabbing his hand and shakes it hard.

Sid, "Well Done you good man I was worried he was going try and get back with Indi but that you have eaten him he cant"

Heath looks shocked.

Heath, "Well thank you doc"

Sid, "Yeah I never liked Romeo really…"

Sid stops and stares at Heath.

Sid, "Hang on you what to Romeo?"

Heath, "Had him for dinner tasted like chicken"

Sid sighs and faints.

Outside the farmhouse Marilyn and colleen stand on the doorstep.

Colleen, "Are you sure about this?"

Marilyn, "Just a min I think we will add a bit of this"

Colleen holds her casserole out to Marilyn.

Colleen, "Whats that your adding to my great cooking?"

Marilyn tips the contents of a bottle which holds a mystery mixture inside.

Marilyn, "Oh some hair spray and shampoo got it from my hair salon"

Colleen, "Oh nice is it poisonous?"

Marilyn, "Well we have to see hopefully Heath will eat some"

Colleen laughs as she pushes her poisonous casserole through the letter box.

Dex head pops up to the sound of the flapping letter box.

Dex, "Wooooooo exciting free posted casserole"

Dex runs to collect the casserole licking his lips.