OK so sorry this wasn't up after the episode, I have been away and only just got to watch it…I loved it! :D I have had a shit week though apologies for that as well. Also just realised how long this chapter is…oh well…enjoy. Please, please review…I love to know what you think or any ideas…anything…please :D

Note: I tried not to use the song as it was not released in 2003 but I couldn't stop myself because it fit so well, don't kill me :D

Reference: Nina Sharp (Pilot), Olivia in her green dress (Pilot), reference to the Pilot, "…(you're) He is doing fine…" (Power Hungry), "…but better…" (Concentrate and Ask Again), "…look great in the dress…" (Concentrate and Ask Again)

Song: Only Exception – Paramore

Chapter 13 – Explanation

Peter stood against the bar, beer in his hand and his freshly pressed black tie suit sitting perfectly. He had been there an hour already and there was no sign of Olivia anywhere, a small part of him already starting to get worried. He honestly didn't know why he was invited to this party, he wasn't even sure he wanted to be with the FBI after this case, he felt like he wanted to get the hell out of Boston, and yet there was Olivia, she had asked for his help, asked him to stay, the part of him that wanted to help in this specialized team seemed to be stronger than his want to leave the city. "Bishop, where is Dunham?" Broyles voice caught his attention and he looked up to find the older man coming his way, drink in his left hand and an older lady on his right. Peter turned to face them, resting his beer on the bar. "Sir. Honestly I'm not too sure, she was supposed to be here by now, I thought about calling her but I figured she would be here when she is ready." He didn't really want to state that he didn't believe she would want to speak to him outside of work and this party, he really didn't want his boss to know the details of their working relationship.

Broyles nodded, knowing that Olivia was not one to be pushed when it came to things like this, she would be there in her own time, he just hoped that it would be before the dinner, which was set to be in half an hour. "Peter I would like you to meet Nina Sharp. She is the CEO of Massive Dynamic and also part of the board that oversees what we do." The older woman on Broyles arm moved towards Peter, her hand extended. "I'm sure you don't remember me but I knew you as a child, I worked with William Bell for a long time, even when he was still sharing a lab with your father. You were only a boy when I saw you last though." She smiled at him, very friendly but Peter could see something behind her friendliness, something different.

Then it struck him, "William Bell shared a lab with my father?" Peter couldn't keep the shock out of his voice, his hand going steady in hers. "Oh yes Peter, many years ago now though. How is your father? I hear he has been released into your care. How has that been going?" She pulled her hand away from his, reaching back for the drink Broyles held as Peter placed his back into his jacket pocket, his other hand coming to rest on his black tie, suddenly feeling somewhat self conscious. "Well he never mentioned that to me but I'll be sure to tell him you remember him, it was make him happy. He is going fine. Adjusting to life back out in the world but he is getting there." He smiled back at Nina, then up at Broyles who he knew would be wondering how things were going in the lab with his father. "Well then, that is good to hear. I am looking forward to meeting Agent Dunham, will she be here soon?" As if on cue, Peter looked up and behind them both seeing Olivia standing at the top of the stairs, her floor length olive dress hugging her body beautifully. Clearing his throat Broyles smiled, "We will leave you alone, enjoy your night Bishop." Moving away from Peter, Broyles and Nina laughed slightly, both knowing exactly what was going through Peter's head.

Peter hated to admit it but the look on Broyles and Nina's face shocked him, it was as if they were reading his mind, he didn't like it one bit but as he watched Olivia come down the stairs, the soft hint of make up and the shining bracelet around her wrist, he honestly couldn't care what they thought. He watched as she moved through the crowd, smiling at a few people as she went, making a beeline for the bar. Reaching for his beer, Peter took one last large swig before making his way to her side. "Now I know that can't be the Olivia Dunham I know, she would never wear a dress in public…" his voice was soft but found her ears easily, sending a silent shiver through her spine. "Peter, I didn't realise you were already here. I thought you would have been late." She didn't turn to face him, already knowing how close he was, she didn't want to be face to face with him. He sighed, his breath tickling the back of her neck, "Well, I was told by my boss that I had to be on time and so I was, it was just inconvenient because she wasn't on time." He laughed softly as he watched her bare shoulders drop, the holter neck of her dress sitting just under her messy bun, leaving majority of her back free for all too see, something Peter hadn't seen since high school, something that had plagued his dreams for years after.

"You alright? You're not the type to be late. I was a little worried." He leaned to the side of the bar, using the chance to take in the side of her face, memorising the way she looked in the light dusting of make up. "I'm fine Peter, you don't have to worry about me anymore remember?" She turned to him now, looking him directly in the eye, watching as his breath caught in his throat as he took her in completely. "Anyway, I'm late because I was looking after Ella, Rachel was running late and called. That's all. Now if you'll excuse me, I should find Broyles." She slipped passed him as soon as her drink was in her hand, her body brushing against his every so slightly as she moved, sending bad thoughts through Peter's mind and her stomach connected to his side.

As Olivia moved away from Peter, she could feel the heat coming from him, she had seen him standing with Broyles when she walked in, his suit sitting perfectly on him, sending small sparks through her as she remembered what I was like to be able to be close to him like she used to be but then she remembered he had left her, and her walls rebuilt themselves. Finding Broyles was easier than she had expected, "Ah Sir. Sorry I'm late, I was looking after my niece." As she spoke, Broyles turned to face her, a small look of shock flashed over his face before he smiled. "It's not a problem Agent Dunham, I'm glad you could make it. Have you seen Bishop yet?" There was something about the way he asked caught her attention but she decided not to question it, instead she just replied politely. "Ah, yes sir I have. So I was wondering if I could speak to you about getting access to a house that we found as part of our investigation, we may need a SWAT team, Agent Farnsworth - " Broyles cut her off with a raise of his hand. "Agent Dunham, speak to me about it tomorrow, I will listen to anything you have to tell me, but now, enjoy." He motioned towards the hundreds of other people that were in the room, turning his back on her, leaving her to sigh and turn away from him, finding a seat at one of the already empty round tables.

Peter watched Olivia from a far, she sat on her own, hands resting on the table, her fingers knotting together as she no doubt allowed her mind to wander over the current case, thinking about the details and the interviews that have been and will be conducting within the next 24 hours. Sighing Peter decided that it was time he went to her, he knew he had been feeling all the old feelings for her, many of them stronger than they used to be, many of them he wished would never go away and most he wished he could act on. Knowing that if he didn't act then and there he would regret it, Peter swigged down the rest of his beer, cleared his throat and moved toward Olivia on the other side of the room.

As he came closer to her he noticed that she was staring vacantly at the table cloth, not really seeing what was there nor did she look like she cared and so when Peter rested his hand on her shoulder, she jumped slightly, not having heard him walking over to her over the music. He leaned down a little so he could speak to her, not wanting to shout, "You look great in the dress Livia. You know that right?" he watched her drop her head slowly, a slight blush coming her face, his smile widening.

Olivia sighed, she was already of the night and it had only just started, she didn't like being in a dress with no gun, she didn't like being around people who spend too much time worrying about their looks and she really didn't like being so close to Peter when he was dressed like that, the black suit and tie, the buttoned jacket, he was really something to look at but she couldn't allow herself to. Of course there were feelings, some stronger than they were than when they were younger, some she knew weren't going to go away for quite a while but over all, she wished she didn't have those feelings. They were not helpful to her and she wasn't about to allow herself to falling in love with him again, not after what had happened last time.

Not only that, after Frank left, she started to believe that maybe she just wasn't meant to be with anyone. Who could blame them, she was hooked on her work, she was never home and she had major trust issues. Granted she didn't want to be that way, but the abusive stepfather, losing her mother when she was so young, then Lucas, John, Peter and Frank all leaving her, she started to believe that it was her that was causing them to all leave, they had all found something better and it was not her, they would end up with someone like her, but better. Dropping her head, she allowed herself to be absorbed by the music, counting down the minutes will she could leave and change.

Sudden pressure on her shoulder caught her attention and she jumped a little, looking up she found Peter staring back down at her, his eyes soft and warm, small smile on his lips, "You look great in the dress Livia. You know that right?" Olivia dropped her head, the heat rising to her face.

When I was younger I saw, my daddy cry and curse at the wind

And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget

And that was the day that I promised, I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist.

Turning to face the speakers to try and get a better sense of the music, Peter smiled again before reaching for her hand slowly he waited for a moment as she no doubt process that fact that his hand had suddenly engulfed hers. When she didn't pull away he pulled Olivia towards the dance floor, other's had joined in the dancing and Peter knew it would be the only chance tonight that he would be able to get her alone and just spend a little bit of time with her. Pulling Olivia closer to him, the silk of her dress swimming in his hand as he held her to his front, not letting her go as the music continued, his left hand wrapping around her waist, resting on the bare skin of her back he found there, his right resting in hers, her other hand resting gently on his shoulder, her breath coming out in puffs on his neck. He knew that they worked together, he knew they should be keeping an eye out for their boss but her floor length olive, holter neck dress look to amazing and he couldn't resist bringing her in for a dance. They moved together for a few moment's, their swaying keeping in time with the music, Olivia silently freaking out about being so close to him and Peter silently loving having her in his arms again. "Peter..." her voice came out in a whisper as they moved, her breath on his cheek as she looked up at him, even the way she breathed his name was sexy in that moment.

But my darling you are, the only exception…

Leaning down slightly, his lips rested near her ear, " Remember your birthday? Remember the last time we danced like this?" His voice was soft, it was low and sexy and she couldn't help but shiver as she went to nod but then thought better of it, knowing that it would start things she didn't know if she was ready for, instead she pulled away slightly, looking up at him, one hand on his shoulder, the other resting in his large, warm one. They had stopped moving, the pair the only of the group on the dance floor to be still. She hesitated slightly, swallowing a few times before letting all her anger towards him come out, "Peter...you just left me there, you walked away and left me there. After everything we did and went through, and everything you said...I don't want to remember the last time we danced like this because that was when it was you and me and it hasn't been that way for a long time..." at this point you would have thought it was Olivia who pulled away from him but it was the other way around, Peter looked down at Olivia before pulled his hands away from her, turning on his heels and leaving her standing in the middle of the dance floor, staring at his retreating form bumping into a few people as he went. She watched as he moved swiftly through the crowd of people, his head dropped down low, shaking slightly.

Maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul that love never lasts,

And up until now I've sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness

But none of that was ever worth the risk.

But you are the only exception…

Peter found his way to the balcony, it was cold and wet, which meant that no one else was outside and so he was alone. He leant up against the wet railing, sighing when he felt the water soaking through his shirt, he never thought it would have been so hard to be near her again and it was worse now that he knew she blamed him, he always knew she would but it was worse hearing it from her mouth, and he sighed again, he never meant for it to end the way it did, he never meant for it to end at all but it did and it was his fault and he spent every second afterwards regretting it. The wind blew a harsh and bitter breeze when the presence of another caught his attention, he didn't need to turn to know. He knew it would be her, he knew she was going to follow and find him eventually so he wasn't surprised, he just stared straight over the balcony, waiting for her to speak.

Olivia found him in the cold, jacketless and alone. She hadn't expected him to just walk away, he was never one to walk away from something, let alone her and so she had followed him into the cold night, just watching as he leaned on the edge of the railing as if contemplating whether or not to jump over the edge. When no one spoke, he did, "When I was away from you, at MIT, you were the only one I thought about, you were the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, seeing you when I could have hard because I knew I had to leave again but it was what I waited for most while we were apart." His breath was shaky, she knew he was having trouble telling her all of this.

Olivia stepped closer to him, her heels clicking quietly on the concrete floor, but stopped when Peter put his hand up, stopping her in her tracks. "It was the week before I was supposed to come and meet you, I had it planned, I was going to bring flowers, take you out to dinner and then if you wanted I had a hotel room, we would sleep in late, watch movies all day and just relax together, but Eddie turned up, asking for a favour I wasn't about to give him and so he, ah, he threatened you. God Livia, he even had photos of you in class or around Northwestern, Jesus, I panicked. I panicked so I left, walked away, I thought that if I was out of the picture, you would be out of his."

Peter sighed and dropped his head once more before turning to face her, Olivia's face was not like he had ever seen before. He had never seen her look so shocked and her lack of speech just told him she really didn't know what to say. "I wanted so badly everyday to come back to you, to walk in to your classroom and just tell you that I loved you and I was sorry, but every time I thought about coming back to you and seeing you again I couldn't not think about what Eddie said, what he said he was going to do to you if I came back here, back to you. I had, have, nightmares about it, about what he was going to do to you and I couldn't let him win, I couldn't let him anywhere near you, I couldn't let him hurt you." He dropped his head once more, trying to keep back the images of his nightmares, they were coming back to him now that he had told her about it all. Her in tears, screaming in pain, the thought of having Eddie's hands on her, Peter shivered, it was bad enough to cause his stomach to somersault.

Olivia breathed out, her breath visible in the night, "Peter...I…" she didn't know what to say instead she wrapped her arms around herself and watched him, watched his movements and wished she could read his thoughts. Before any words could be spoken Peter decided it was about time to leave, take whatever was left of his self-respect and go home, his warm bed and large glass of whisky waiting for him. Brushing past her, he left her standing on her own, ignoring the irony of the situation considering the conversation he had just had with her.

Unlocking the door to his house, Peter dropped his keys in the bowl and kicked off his shoes, he probably shouldn't have driven home after the party but he was going to be stubborn and did it anyway, it was not like he was speeding, just would have been in trouble if he was pulled over for something. Slowly making his way up the stairs to his room, Peter didn't even bother looking in on Walter, the smell of old smoke had already met his nose and he knew that Walter would be down for the count, something he was happy about. Shucking himself of his clothes, leaving himself only in his boxers, Peter lay down on his bed, not even bothering to open the light or even get the large class of whisky he had promised himself, he only allowed the dark thoughts of Eddie with Olivia enter his mind and follow him into to dream state.

Olivia opened the door quietly, she really didn't feel like answering any of Rachel's questions, it had been a long night and a long cab ride home, too long because it made her think, think about Peter, about what he had told her, about what had really happened when they were away from each other. There was still so much she didn't know about what happened, like why his room mate told her he left with another girl, like why he had never ever tried to contact her at all, where he had really been while away the last few years. There was too many questions and not enough time for her thing about them tonight and so with a large glass of whisky, she slipped of her heals and made her way to the bedroom, a quick check telling her that Rachel and Ella were in fact asleep, that comforted her.

Sighing she sat on the bed, taking a final gulp of the amber liquid before resting her hand on her head, she really didn't want to have to deal with all of this again, it was so hard when they were in high school, making it work and the pain they had both gone through, it almost didn't seem worth it to try again, not that Olivia was thinking about trying again with him…that was the lie she kept telling herself. Sudden creaking caught her attention and she looked up into the darkness and silence of the house, her eyes darting around, finding nothing at all, that was until a sharp pain shot through the side of her head and her world fell into darkness.

A review…maybe…please…?