Tainted Love
Tomi Sama

Chapter 13:
Definitions

Pairing: JackxRai/JackxChase
Warnings: Slash, fluffiness, and a jealous Chase Young, proverbs, rape, one pissed off Jack Spicer, and one really emo Raimundo.
Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown. If I did, Jack would have more airtime and Rai would talk more. I lorve his accent.
Request: Pleeeease Review.

Author's Note: Oh, I'm sorry to do this too you, Rai fans, but I cannot make up my mind. If it makes you feel any better, the next chapter is way happier.

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Days passed; then a week. But for Jack, time stood still. Now that he and Chase had returned to their normal sex drive (aka once or twice a day. Sometimes even three times, if Jack begged) Chase had been a lot calmer and way more lenient with his rules. In fact, Jack the Cat hadn't returned from that one morning, a little more than a week ago.

The difference this time around, compared to the last time they "dated" was that when Jack fell asleep, Chase was there. Chase didn't leave at night, even if Jack woke up alone. Chase, like the Xiaolins, was awake around five in the morning to train. Jack usually woke up at seven and joined him outside or in the training room.

From seven until ten, Jack and Chase would train together. Sometimes it was more serious than others, and sometimes Jack would turn on music and try to teach Chase how to dance before Chase got frustrated and hard from the redhead's grinding and they'd end up having sex. More than often, though, Jack got a workout and dragged himself to his old room to relax.

There was no longer a bed in his old room, because Jack now slept with Chase. In its place was a constantly replenishing pile of scrap metal, axels, wheels, and everything he could possibly want to play with. He personally loved how Chase even got the right servos, even though the ex-dragon was as technically advanced as a wheelbarrow.

Jack would work until one-ish on whatever he was working on. This week, well, in three days, he made a fully functional airplane. He knew why he made it… he wanted to go visit the Monks… but this could turn out horribly.

He was happy with Chase this time. But he still dreamed of Raimundo and honestly he missed his BFF Kimiko and his square dancing partner Clay. And honestly, now he was curious as to how easy the pair were… Chase put the thought in there… How big was Clay's dick, anyway?

When he climbed in, opened the trap door in his ceiling and flew off, he wondered what he was doing and hoping Chase wouldn't care.

He drove with Daddy Yankee blaring. Ever sense their dance party; Jack had absolutely loved the beats to rap music, but there was something about the Spanish that kept him thinking.

He landed a little ways away and drove the rest of the way there; not wanting to scare them into thinking there was an air attack. He parked outside and walked in, hands in his pockets, hoping he looked vulnerable and unaggressive.

Kimiko and Clay were sitting on the front steps, drinking tea and playing cards. When Jack walked through the gate, they looked up. At first they looked confused, but they were up and running to him once it registered that it was Jack. Kimiko glomped him, Clay stood behind her, smiling.

"We were so worried about you, Jack!" Kimiko said. "We haven't seen you at any of the Showdowns and Wuya and Katnappe said they don't even see you any more… that you're always with Chase in his 'private' rooms."

"Well…" Jack started.

"Yeah, partner." Clay said, attempting to shake hands with Jack after Kimiko let go, but Jack pulled him to a hug. The Texan froze momentarily, before hugging the genius back. He was quick to let go. Jack realized he would never answer Chase's question about Clay. "Things around here have been weird, too. Rai keeps beating up on Omi and running away. The four of us never train together anymore because Rai's either gone or too pissy to cooperate… no offence."

"None taken…." Jack managed to squeeze in.

"So…" Kimiko took his arm like they were still BFFs and pulled him to the front steps, giving him some tea. "What's it like in Castle Chase Young?"

"Like a dream." Jack answered, mildly. "We train everyday and Chase has been nice…"

"Whoa, buddy." Clay took the cup from Jack as he was about to take a sip and sat it down. "You mean nice or are you like a beaten wife? And as a future Texas Ranger, I can't let my friend be in an abusive relationship. Alright, take off the trench coat. I've got to see the bruises…"

"Easy, Chuck Norris." Jack said. Kimiko giggled. "Honestly it's not bad at all. I only get hurt when we train and that's because I trip over myself." Either way, he took off his trench coat, and lifted up the Frankenstein shirt under it. Besides some hickeys and bites, along with nail scratches on his hips (which were obviously from sex) the newest scar he was healing was the CY on his collar bone. Satisfied, Clay let him put his clothes back on.

"So… Do you know where Rai is right now?"

"Yeah. Master Fung locked him into the newly built Meditation Chamber. No one's even been in there but Rai. Shen Gong Wu can't work in there, and it's only three feet squared in there." Clay said. "Though honesty, I think Rai has the wind power to knock the stone from the walls, if he wanted."

"Can I go… can I…?"

"You can go see him, Jack. In fact, I was supposed to let him out twenty minutes ago." Kimiko said, bitterly. Jack knew something must have happened between Kimiko and Rai, but he could only imagine what. She held out the keys. "Let him out."

"But be careful." Clay said, picking up his cards. "He's a ball of angst and fists lately."

Jack nodded to the couple as he walked out back, seeing the newly constructed, concrete box outback. Around it was a zen garden, like the one Chase had, and Omi was no where in sight. As he walked up, he couldn't hear anything. It wasn't until he was able to look in the bars on the doors that he was even positive Rai was in there.

There was just enough head room for Rai to stand. The room would be too small for Clay, and even Chase would have to duck slightly to stand in it. But he was seeing eye-to-eye with Rai. Well, eye to closed eye. The Brazilian was meditating. The wind under him was floating, blowing him up, cross legged. His hair danced in the simulated wind.

"Great of you to show up." Rai said, eyes still closed. "I didn't think you'd ever come."

Jack leaned closer, looking in with a sigh. He couldn't even begin to think of something to say. He couldn't get over the fact that he himself was confused; he didn't know what he wanted. Did he want Chase or Rai? If Chase was making him so happy, lately, why would he even want to see Rai?

"Pensé que me amaste"

"I didn't think you spoke Spanish, Rai."

Raimundo opened his eyes, frowning. "It's basically the same, Spicer. You said that yourself." In a mocking, heavy Brazilian tone he said, "Pensei que me amaste"

"Only 'thought' is different…" Jack said, looking down.

"So if you know what I said, why don't you respond? I thought that you loved me, Jack."

"Hago." Jack put the key into the lock and turned it, letting Rai out. "I do."

Rai let his legs come down, and he walked out, chin high, "bullshit."

Jack watched as Rai stretched, the brunet keeping his back to the redhead and Jack couldn't shake the feeling that he's felt this before. Useless, unloved, like a toy. But when the Brazilian turned again to look him in the eye, verde to rojo, the feeling was gone and Rai was smiling.

"It's good to see you, Jack. I've missed you."

Suddenly Jack was engulfed. He forgot how strong Rai was; he could feel the air leave his chest as Rai squeezed him. Jack hugged back, burying his head into the nape of Rai's neck. Rai began to sway, his hands on Jack's hips, pulling the redhead closer; hips to hips. Jack couldn't help but moan, feeling the Brazilian hard.

"So… what is it that you do in there?" Jack asked, halfway opening his eyes, looking up at his old boyfriend. The emerald eyes looked back down at him, before looking passed at the cell he'd been on.

"Well, I'm supposed to be meditating, but mostly I just jack off."

Jack couldn't help the lusty giggle he gave to the information, "Why were you in there?"

"I been a bad boy." Rai replied, pushing Jack's head slightly, kissing at his neck. Jack leaned his head back, forgetting everything; forgetting Chase back home, forgetting that he and Rai were no longer dating. The only thing he remembered was how the Brazilian kissed.

"What'd you do?"

"They made it after I sexually harassed Kimiko…"

Jack backed away, frowning with a completely confused look on his face. "What?"

"I guess…" Rai grinned, showing Jack that he was lying. "Without my sex kitten around, I flop to girls."

"Bullshit." Jack said, tugging Rai closer again.

For the first time in a while, the old couple was joined at the lips and almost instantly, Rai's mouth opened; Jack's followed suit. It was broken slightly, by Rai who whispered. "Your room's as it was left…" Jack gave a moan in response, pushing his lips back into Rai's.

"Raimundo?"

The boys broke apart, Jack's arms still wrapped around Rai's shoulder's, Rai's hands holding Jack's hips against his own. They looked to were the voice came from and Jack gasped. Omi's robes were ripped, and he had a black eye. On his forehead he had three stitches and he was nursing a wounded arm.

"What the hell happened to him?" Jack asked.

"He's a pussy." Rai growled, stepping forward slightly, teeth bared like an animal.

Omi stepped back, tired. "Please, Raimundo. Do not call me that."

"Then grow a pair, Omi." Rai spat, grabbing Jack's arm, pulling him pass Omi making their way to Jack's old room. When passing, Jack's wide eyes met Omi's, and the shorter boy reached out, grabbing Jack's other arm. He opened his mouth to say something. Never had Jack seen Omi so timid, so tired… even when Omi was with Chase, he wasn't this exhausted.

"Omi." Rai threatened and when the boy wouldn't let go, he stepped closer. "Typhoon Boom." Rai said, backhanding Omi across the face. Omi flew, hitting the side of the wall with an "oomph" before running off out front. Rai dragged Jack as if there had been no disturbance.

That feeling was there again, as Raimundo dragged him to his room. It was still there when the Brazilian shut the door, locked it, ripped off his own shirt and kissed Jack again, pushing him backwards until the redhead's legs hit the bed and they tumbled onto the mattress.

In one swoop, Rai had pulled Jack on the mattress more, before assaulting him with kisses again. Jack couldn't help it! The tanned body called to him when the brunet removed his own shirt, before unbuttoning Jack's.

With the trench off, Rai pulled off the Frankenstein shirt, looking at the scabbed CY, the nipple ring, thousands of scratches from before Rai and Jack were lovers… but then he saw the new ones. The hickeys, fresh, the nails from Chase plowing… Rai growled.

"R-Rai… I can't…"

"Shut up."

Jack nodded, biting his bottom lip to keep from talking. It's not like he wanted to stop anyway, he just felt a little guilty. Rai flipped at the nipple ring. Jack hissed, but shut his eyes and arched his back. Rai leaned over, kissing Jack's chest once before assaulting the nipple with his tongue, then his mouth, sucking the ring in, tugging with his teeth; hearing the redhead moan under him.

"You've been working out." Rai said matter-of-factly, running his fingers over Jack's stomach, tracing the thin lines appearing there. "Really hard, too. A week and you've already got distinct ab lines. I'm impressed."

"Rai… please." Was all Jack said, opening his eyes slightly. Why was he begging? What was he begging for? For him to stop or for him to keep going?

Raimundo smirked, walking lower on his knees, letting his hand trail down the tuning stomach, over Jack's erection, through his pants.

"Why'd Chase let you out, Jack?"

"Nnh!" Jack pushed his hips up, trying to put more pressure on himself through Rai. Rai pushed down, and began rubbing Jack through his pants, looking expectedly at him. He wanted an answer. "He doesn't know I'm here."

"You snuck out?"

"I wanted to see you again."

That had been the answer Rai was looking for, apparently, because Jack's shoes and socks were off, followed quickly by his pants.

Jack couldn't remember Rai taking his own pants off but suddenly Rai was on top of him, stomach to stomach, kissing him again. He felt Rai's bare stomach, but also he could hear the cloth-on-cloth sound that told Jack the brunet, like him self, was not fully naked.

"Nnh!" It was a crazy, different sort of déjà vu. Here was a memory of Chase and him, roles switched, with Jack on bottom. Rai shifted before grinding again, electing another moan from Jack.

But then Jack opened his eyes; he couldn't help but smile.

Rai had a half-drunk blush on his face, and he was biting his lip to stay focused; stay in control, he didn't want to give into the sensation. He wanted to be stone-hard emotionless… Jack suddenly realized why Rai was being mean to Omi… why Rai was biting his lip instead of moaning out loud… Rai wanted to be Chase.

Jack ran his hand over Rai's back as the boy grinded again. Jack sighed and suddenly Rai gave a whimper of effort to control himself; a whimper that wanted to be a moan and in showing his stuggle, losing the Chase-imitation pseudo-jerk part of himself. He stopped and looked down, afraid.

Jack couldn't help it, he smiled softly and reached his hand up, touching Rai's bicep. The brunet's eyes opened wider and Jack could see the lust covering the emerald. His hands on the mattress pinned Jack without touching him and resulted in the weird angle Jack was at to touch the boy's arm. However, the strong arms, holding him up, shook with effort and shown with the sexual sweat Jack loved.

The redhead leaned closer to the arm his own arm was wrapped around. He kissed the boy's bicep slowly, lightly. Rai smiled as Jack looked back up at him. Gently, Jack put his other hand on Rai's cheek, guiding him down, kissing his lips softly.

Suddenly it was Rai. The strange, wannabe Chase was dead and Rai put his elbows down, chest to chest again with Jack, with his hands going under the red hair to prop Jack up. It was like starting over, kissing slowly and timidly, not just the mindless grinding Rai thought Chase did with Jack. It felt good again… it felt like love again.

Chase Young? Who was Chase Young? Rai's sexual imitation of Chase and Jack's guilt for cheating on Chase were gone… In this moment, there was only Jack and Rai.

Regardless of their best efforts, however, the kissing did turn on passion, and the teenage boys couldn't only kiss and ignore their raging hard-ons. This time, it was for each other, for the person opposite on the bed. Boxers were off and Jack was on his knees, with his head on the mattress, hands over his head to keep from moving.

Rai's timid thrusts picked up, once he was positive he wasn't hurting Jack, then it was strong, with Jack egging Rai on with screams of the brunet's name mixed with Jack's release, which ultimately lead to Rai's. And then, together they laid, cuddled together in the sweaty, cummy sheets of Jack's old bed; too exhausted to move. It was a good ten minutes before Jack's body and mind recovered enough for the sickly feeling to return to Jack.

Jack remembered who was waiting at home…

Chase.

Jack sat, a confused and half-asleep Rai watching from his spot on the bed as Jack dressed himself hurriedly. His shirt was inside out and his shoes started on the wrong feet and when Rai sat up, afraid, to ask Jack what was wrong, Jack felt the tears swell. He shook his head and walked out.

Rai heard vomiting from outside the window, and stood to see Jack recovering and running to his airship, then an engine taking off.

Rai sat back down, covering himself self-consciously. Why would Jack do that? Why would he just leave in a fit of disgust that would make him throw up? Was Rai really that bad? Or… was Jack just finally able to escape.

But it wasn't like Rai raped him.

Right?

The more Rai thought about it, the more reality was twisted by his sexual high and utter exhaustion.

Was Jack screaming his name or screaming in pain? Was there a "stop" after all those "Rai!"s?" Did Jack take off Rai's boxers or did Rai undress them both? Had Jack been on bottom because he was naturally submissive or was Rai holding him down?

It was like a bomb dropped. Rai's eyes closed, but lit up like Hiroshima and Nagasaki did those nights. He tried to block out what he now convinced himself to be the truth. Raimundo Pedrosa, Xiaolin Warrior, raped Jack Spicer, Heylin Boy Genius. He raped the person he loved, and now that person was running home to Rai's self-proclaimed worse enemy to be held and loved.

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Numb. Adjective. 1. Deprived of physical sensation, the ability to move; such as fingers numb from the cold. 2. Lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent; such as numb to their pleas of mercy. Entumecido.

Jack was incredibly glad he'd been flying his whole life. He didn't trust his body, his mind, to bring him home. He couldn't believe he was crying, and over and over, definitions flew through his mind. That was what happened when he was confused. His mind focused on words, words and definitions were a constant in his incredibly fucked up life.

Regret. Verb. To feel sorrow or remorse for; such as: as soon as he said it, he regretted it. Lamentar.

He didn't regret having sex with Rai. Hell no, never would he regret sex… especially with Rai the Sex God… he just was confused now. It was like… Rai or Chase? Jack couldn't take the choice.

Roles reversed, he felt, as he thought about crashing into Chase's mountain, dying in a horrible fiery death. His sudden will to die reminded him of a week ago, when he was so happy and wanted a shrink. He had only wanted to talk to someone; to seek professional help on choosing between Chase and Rai. When he eased it down gently, killed the engine and walked out of the plane, he saw Chase looking skeptically at him.

A new stream of tears set in, seeing the worry and anger on Chase's face. His knees gave, but Chase caught him before he could end up on the ground. With a sudden jump, Jack tried to propel himself from Chase's arms, over the edge. He'd been thrown from that edge before… but if he tried really hard, he might be able to land on his neck and die.

Love. Verb. 1. To have sexual intercourse with. 2. To have affection for someone. 3. To embrace, to hug and kiss, as a lover. Amor.

He heard Chase choke as he pulled Jack tighter against his body, making it impossible for the boy to jump as he dragged him backwards toward the entrance to the lair. Jack, exhausted, stopped struggling, and went limp, eyes shutting. Once inside, Chase picked him up bridal style and carried him up to his room. Chase felt shame and awkwardness in his own heart, remembering when he did nearly the same to Raimundo.

When he abducted the other boy, he too had tried to jump from a cliff. Was it Jack's depression that rubbed off on Raimundo that night, or was it Raimundo's choice of suicide rubbed off on Jack?

"Are you depressed, Jack?" Chase asked ritually, desperate for conversation as he sat the boy down on the bed, tucking him in.

"Yes."

"Do you want to kill yourself?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Jack didn't answer, but he stopped crying. Chase knew why he was crying… he knew where his "slave" had gone, and he hadn't minded. In fact, he thought that if he finally let Raimundo fuck him, he'd stop obsessing. He hadn't known Jack would come home crying… which only left one thing in his mind.

Jack hadn't gone there to get laid. Why would he? He could get that here. They had a never-ending supply, matter of fact. But the rushed dressing job, the new hickeys and the overpowering smell of sex proved that they had done it.

Jack opened his eyes, but Chase was too preoccupied undressing Jack, before putting him in pajamas to notice he was being watched.

"Who would miss me if I died, Chase?"

Chase looked up, shocked, honestly. "I would."

"Would you miss me or would you miss the sex?"

"Jack, I could get sex from anyone." Chase ran his fingers through Jack's hair, smiling slightly. "I would miss your face… I would miss having someone bother me while I trained. I would miss you, Jack Spicer."

Jack smiled a little, snuggling down into the bed, but as instantly the smile came, it faded and Jack was crying again.

"I'm sorry, Chase."

Chase laid down next to the boy, putting his head on his side, too afraid to put it on his chest and hear the sobs from inside, as he draped his arm across the redhead's stomach. Keeping him there, in case he did try to jump. But jump from where? From the bed? Only Jack could make that fatal.

As long as Chase knew Jack, he wouldn't have suspected jumping as his means of suicide. Rai was definitely a jumper. Kimiko was a drugged-sleeper. Omi would drowned himself. Clay… Clay wasn't like that. He was a Texas good-boy. He couldn't do that to his family. Jack would have to be a knife… or a gun.

Something incredibly bloody; the melodramatic boy.

"Jack?"

The sobbing had turned to shaking and silent tears. The only noise the boy made was the desperate gasps of breath.

"When… When I left your room at night… did you do this?"

"No."

Chase felt a pinged of jealousy that he would cry so hard of Raimundo, but not shed a tear of Chase.

"I was usually out when you left. When I woke up the next morning, though…" He heard a sniffle.

Jack didn't continue, but Chase knew. After some more silence, the naked chest of Jack Spicer began to rise and fall evenly, asleep.

"Jack?"

He didn't answer.

"I would miss you if you died, Jack." Chase said, closing his own eyes, wondering why he felt like crying, too. "You're all I have."

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I don't think there were any songs in this one, besides my mention of Daddy Yankee. XP

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The Next Chaaaaapter!

"Jack! I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown."

"Okay!" Neither boy could stop smiling. It was a mockery of the whole Showdown. "My Ring of Nine Dragons for your Mantis Flip Coin." The Xiaolins and Chase sighed. Great, starting the 'lets-et-the-lamest-Shen-Gong-Wu-so-that-when-one-of-us-loses-no-big-loss,-honey' game.

"Deal!"

"First one to reach the new Wu wins."