Chapter 13

Grip tightening, his pale fingers crushed yet another pencil as his brain swarmed with thoughts of hatred. How did he get himself into this dilemma?

Flashback

Utau smiled smugly after Ikuto shut the door to the closed-off room they were in. Her plan had worked, and now everyone thought they were dating.

"What the hell was that?" Ikuto asked, trying to keep his voice down, when really, he just wanted to strangle the dumb blonde. Utau continued smiling as she took a seat, folding her hands in her lap.

"We now have to act as though we are dating. Only I can end this, and that's by dumping you. Got it?".

Ikuto laughed humorlessly as he turned to the door, ready to leave. "Forget it"

Utau slowly stood up and walked over to him. "I had a feeling you'd say that. Darn." She said with a dramatic sigh "Then I guess Amuto's secret will be exposed". She then walked ahead of Ikuto, acting as if she was going to be leaving first.

This statement caught the boy's attention. Utau couldn't possibly know that Amu's a girl . . . could she? "What are you talking about?" Ikuto questioned, trying not to sound too interested.

Utau turned back around to look at him with the same not-so-innocent smile plastered on her face, "Well, earlier today, I just so happened to be talking with Yukari-san – such a sweet person, anyway, and I accidentally told her that I was dating you. So, she felt like she could tell me all of your secrets – including all the band member's secrets. Then, the topic somehow got around to Amuto actually being a girl. Now, wouldn't it be terrible if I told the press about that?".

Ikuto unconsciously gritted his teeth together, balling his hands into fists. Utau noticed this and chuckled. "So, I'm guessing you're agreeing to this?"

"What's in it for you?"

"Oh, nothing much . . . just that everyone will think I'm dating the hottest idol in Japan. Then, they'll all want to see my new movie that's being released in a few days!" Utau announced proudly, obviously loving this plan she came up with so quickly.

Sure, this was all for advertisement and popularity, but Utau didn't mind having to pretend to be with Ikuto. He was very good looking, after all.

End of Flashback

Ikuto threw the broken pencil pieces into the trash can before standing out of his chair, grabbing his car keys on his way out the door. He needed to calm down. Maybe visiting with the other band members would help.

"Okay, try that again, but a little more . . . heartbroken" Tsukasa said politely to Amu, who was in the recording booth. Tsukasa turned on the microphone again, sitting next to Nikaidou and watching Amu sing.

"Think of it this way, Amu-chan: You love someone, but you can't tell them, because you know that they either love another, or that they don't love you in that kind of way" Nikaidou advised.

How ironic.

"Okay, we'll start again near the end of the song".

Kukai then bounced into the studio and eagerly sat in the back of the room while munching on a bag of chips.

Amu's first recording wasn't going too bad, but according to Tsukasa, the song was suppose to be sung by someone who's heart ached because of the things they could never say to the one they loved.

Amu put the headphones back on, waiting for the background music to start playing.

These words keep slipping away. I stutter, I stumble, like I've got nothing to say. 'Cause I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, 'cause I know you're worth it.

The pinkette couldn't shake off the feeling of discomfort while singing this song, no matter how hard she tried. Perhaps it was because she could relate to it far too much. She had experienced almost all those emotions while with Ikuto.


Yes, I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say. If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could see what I want to see, I want to see you go down – on one knee. Marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say.If it already wasn't hard enough to sing the song, it certainly was when Tadase walked into the room with Ikuto.

These things I'll never say . . .

Tsukasa instantly smiled and gave Amu a thumbs up just as she finished the song. "Perfect! You captured the heart-broken feeling perfectly!" he commented.

Amu tried to smile at the enthusiastic blonde, but once she looked over at Ikuto, she had to remove her headphones and hurry out of the room. She'd suffocate if she was in there any longer. Especially if he was there too.

Amu's heart ached just at the sight of him. There was nothing she could do about her feelings for him, and it hurt even more when she knew that he was with Utau.

Ikuto was happily in a relationship, and Amu didn't want to screw that up by confessing to him.

"What's up with Amuto?" Kukai asked as he finally finished his large bag of chips, standing up from the couch and looking in the direction Amu went.

"I don't know . . ." Nikaidou replied, but Ikuto got the feeling that he did know.

Kukai shrugged and followed slowly after Amu as he threw on his warm jacket.

Ikuto pulled Nikaidou out of the room by his collar, closing the door behind him. "What's up with Amu?"

Nikaidou straightened out his shirt, not seeing why Ikuto had to pull on it in order to get him to move. "I think . . . well, I think she likes Tadase" he said in a hushed tone.

Ikuto's eyes widened slightly, but he remained silent. That would explain a lot. That's why just a couple days ago they were out together, when he had found them at the ice cream shop.

The boy looked in the direction of the recording studio, where Tadase was, and murmured. "She . . . likes him?".

Amu walked down the buzzing streets with her head bent, gazing down at her shoes. The crisp, afternoon breeze was cold, and she was dumb enough to forget her jacket back at the studio.

"Amuto!" Kukai called as he jogged towards her, finally catching up and walking beside her. "Are you hungry?" he asked casually.

Amu gave him a blank stare. He came all this way just to ask that? Then again, as Amu thought of it, she was pretty hungry.

"Yes? Good, let's get ramen!" Kukai exclaimed before the pinkette even got the chance to answer. In an instant, she was being pulled behind a fast-running brunette who had far too much energy on a Thursday afternoon.

"I really can't stop crying!" Amu sobbed as she brushed away her tears quickly. Sitting across the table from her, was Kukai, who also had tears in his eyes.

"I know! This food has ten levels of spiciness, and this is only level 8!" he exclaimed while grabbing a nearby tissue and wiping his teary, emerald eyes.

Amu downed her ice water, exhaling loudly and taking a deep breath. That was some spicy ramen. "We have to fight till the end, Amuto! We can do it!" Kukai cheered just as the waiter set down bowls of level 9 ramen in front of them.

"I accept your challenge, Kukai!" Amu replied, holding her chop-sticks in the air proudly before digging into the ramen. Kukai took a large bite, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he tried to swallow it, feeling the burning sensation sting his throat.

"It burns!" he whimpered, grabbing for his water, only to see that it was an empty glass. His eyes widened along with Amu as they tried to call the waiter back over to their table before their insides exploded from the spice.

"Water" Amu breathed out weakly, sounding like a half-dead person stranded in the dry desert. "Or just ice" Kukai put in. The waiter chuckled at their demands and was back in an instant with two large glasses of ice water.

Once drinking what they needed in order to cool down their mouths, they ordered the final level of spiciness: Level 10 ramen.

Instant death for a weak person.

"We are warriors!" Kukai cheered as he exited the shop with Amu. They both had ice cream in their hands. What better way to cool down then with ice cream? "I bet if they had a level 12, we'd be able to defeat it" he stated proudly.

Amu nodded in agreement. "Definitely!".

Kukai chuckled while looking over at Amu. "Well, now that I got you to cry your eyes out, it's time for you to laugh! Let's go!" he announced, pulling Amu behind him once again as he took off in a run, sprinting towards the arcade.

"Ahh today was so fun! Thanks, Kukai!" Amu said with a bright smile as they walked inside the toasty warm house, where a fire was going in the stone fireplace, crackling softly.

The brunette chuckled while falling tiredly onto the couch. "No problem. Now you know where to go when you're upset" he replied as he closed his eyes, ready to sleep at any moment.

Amu also took a seat on a different couch, exhaling loudly once she leaned back against the cushion. Finally, she got to sit down and relax while listening to the grandfather clock ticking. Not that she was complaining about her day – no, not at all. But, it felt good to be able to rest.

At that moment, Nikaidou exited the kitchen and gestured for Amu to join him at the table. So much for resting.

He made sure the door was closed before their conversation started. "I'm glad you had a good time with Kukai" Nikaidou said with a smile after Amu had explained what had happened.

Amu looked down at her hands folded in her lap, trying to hide her guilty expression, knowing Nikaidou would tell her to cheer up. "I'm sorry for running out of the studio earlier today . . ."

Nikaidou smiled and simply waved it off "Don't worry about it. You sang very well. But . . . you really should come up with a way for you to control your feelings . . . " he wondered aloud. "I was thinking about it earlier, and – you know what pressure points are, right?" Once Amu nodded, he continued his speech "-Okay, so, when you can't control your feelings, simply press your nose" he stated, demonstrating to Amu by pushing his nose in a way that made it look like a pig nose.

Amu slowly lifted her finger, pushing on her nose to test it out. "W-wouldn't people find it weird if they see me doing that . . . ?" she asked slowly.

"It will look weird, but it works" Nikaidou stated.

Amu nodded slowly as she stood up, out of her chair. "Well, thank you, Nikaidou-san. I'm going to go to bed now".

Even after the girl was out of sight, Nikaidou continued waving anyway, with an all-too innocent smile on his face while he mumbled to himself under his breath. "I can't believe she actually believed me . . . I'm sorry, Amu-chan. But, at least no one will know that you're just trying to control your feelings"

Amu quietly entered her room, noticing Ikuto sitting at his desk, writing something down with a determined expression on his face. "Come here" he said, not looking up from the sheet of paper as he turned in his chair.

Amu walked up to him, pushing on her nose as her heart-rate increase.

"I've decided to help you with your prob- Ahh!" Ikuto backed away once seeing her nose pushed up, breathing heavily. "Crap that scared me. You look like a pig. I hate pigs" he muttered darkly.

"O-oh . .. it's a pressure point" Amu explained.

"Pressure point? You can't look like a pig, you're a rabbit. Rabbits appear to be small and innocent, but turn around and bite your head off and always get you into trouble" Ikuto said under his breath, peering over his paper at the pinkette.

Amu's eyebrows slanted downwards once he said that. She was a rabbit? And, it didn't matter if she looked like a pig, it was something she had to do. "Okay . . . if it bothers you, I'll stop" she said, beginning to move her hand when Ikuto spoke again.

"I will kill you if you put down your hand" he said darkly.

Amu's hand instantly flew back to her nose in fear.

"Anyway, listen here, piggy-rabbit" Ikuto began, picking up his paper once again and reading off it. "In order for this to work out for you two, you have to tell Tadase that you're a girl".

Amu frowned, "Eh? Why?".

"I heard you like him" Ikuto stated, then showed her the paper in his hand. "Amu, I will hand you over to Tadase, but, there are two different outcomes. First, he'll accept you. This will be good for you, because you can live happily ever after with him, and it'll be good for me, 'cause I can finally get rid of you. But, the alternative outcome is that he rejects you. What you'd have to do is hold tightly onto him, begging him to accept you" Ikuto said, reading off of the paper and not noticing Amu rolling her eyes.

There was no way that she'd like Tadase, why couldn't Ikuto see that? "N-no, Ikuto, you're misunderstanding! It's not like that at all" Amu said hurriedly.

"I know you'll be nervous, but suck it up, princess" Ikuto drawled before handing the girl the paper and spinning around, walking across the room and disappearing into the washroom.

Amu stared blankly down at the paper with a frown. Ikuto had it all wrong, but at least he didn't find out who she actually liked.

Sighing, the pink-haired girl dropped down onto her pile of blankets she used for a bed and gazed around the room at all the posters, CD's and funky wall patterns.

She liked Ikuto so much it hurt. Tadase wasn't the one she liked. But, these things she would never say. She groaned and rolled up in her blankets, looking like a burrito as she pulled out her cell phone, sending Ikuto a text message that read:

Please don't hand me over to Tadase-kun

Once the message sent, Amu put her phone down and closed her eyes, silently praying that everything would fall into place in the future.

Minutes later, Ikuto exited the washroom, staring down at his phone while reading the message. He then looked over at Amu, who had already fallen asleep in her 'bed' on the floor.

The blue-head sighed tiredly before climbing under his blankets. "Not hand you over? You're so annoying . . . fine, you still belong to me" he muttered, rolling over onto his stomach and burying his face into his pillow.

"Stupid pig-rabbit"

The song used is 'Things I'll never say' by Avril Lavigne. I do not own it.

So, hopefully there'll be around . . . heh, 10 - 12 chapers left . . ? Readers, what would you want?
Do you want me to shorten it, or keep it at that length of chapters that are still on their way? Please let me know!