A/N Things get very interesting in this chapter. Hope you enjoy.

** I don't own anything you see here.

Something about this woman made Lana feel like she wanted a cigarette. Badly. It wasn't that she was rude, or obnoxious. She wasn't even pushy. But she sat across the table from her with her arms folded, lips pursed together and her words had Lana confused.

"What makes you think that John needs help? Our help for that matter? Is he in some kind of trouble?"

"The other day you mentioned that you've known John for a while. Do you know about his background? What he used to do?"

Lana wasn't sure what she could tell this woman. She didn't know exactly what John had told her about his past. If there were secrets he didn't want her to know, she didn't want to be the one responsible for spilling them.

"I'm not sure I follow you."

"I think you do. I think you know about John's work in the CIA, but you're not sure exactly what he's told me. So you're a little nervous about what to say next. Look Lana, I care about John and know he's told you about his former partner and how she could possibly be here in New York looking for him."

"He might have mentioned something."

"Well we need to find her before she finds him."

"Just what are you suggesting here?"

"I mean is there some way we can track her down? Find out what she wants?"

"If you know anything at all about John's past, you'd know that that would be a very bad idea for us to do that. John wasn't just in the CIA. He operated by a different set of rules. It was as if he didn't exist in the world. People with that kind of anonymity are capable of doing things, ugly things. They're not like you and me. To voluntarily go looking for this woman is to willingly put yourself and your daughter in danger. John would kill me if he found out I helped you do that."

"There has to be somebody, some way that we can help him find this woman."

"When she's ready to contact him, she will. It's best that you stay out of it."

She watched her purse her lips together stubbornly. This woman wasn't taking no for an answer. Lana shook her head. She was ballsy. She had guts. She would even go so far to call her reckless. She wanted to personally confront the CIA agent who was after John, not knowing or caring how dangerous it was, because she felt she could do something to protect him. It brought a smile to her face knowing that finally John had someone who seemed to genuinely care about him outside the world he lived and operated in. It was bittersweet really.

"The first time I met John, he picked my pocket." Lana grinned at the shocked expression on Joss's face.

"Yep. I was walking in Central Park on my day off when this drunk bumped into me, almost knocked me down. He apologized, made it look good and it wasn't until a few minutes later I realized what he did and I tracked him down. I was gonna arrest him, but…I decided against it. We ended up talking for a bit and I've known him ever since. He got cleaned up after a while, started working with …..Started working…."

"…..with Harold….."

She nodded her head. Apparently there were a quite a few things she did know.

"He's been much better since I first found him. He was lost for a very long time. His past haunted him, things he wished he'd done differently. He's a tough guy, resilient, strong….but he's very sensitive, and he can't seem to forgive himself for what happened in his past. He's changed though ever since you came around."

The more she talked about John, the more this woman became misty eyed. Lana couldn't help think that whatever was between the two of them was strong.

"You mean a lot to him, you and your kid. If you look for this woman, if you try to make contact with her, you'll be nothing more than a bargaining chip to her. Something she can use to get at John. You don't want that."

"I understand what you're saying, I just….can't stand around and do nothing."

"What do you think you can do?"

"What about Harold? Isn't there something he can do? I tried calling him on the number I had for him. He's not responding. Can you reach him?"

MaCallum Park

"He'll meet you near MaCallum Park in half an hour."

"Why can't he meet us here?"

"He's kinda paranoid that way. And besides I gotta get to the precinct."

"Thank you, Lana. I really appreciate it."

That was a half hour ago and Joss sat on a bench near a green house in the rear of the park near the children's playground. She listened to the creaking of the swings as two small girls rocked back and forth on them, their hair swinging in the breeze, their happy laughter sounding in the air.

They reminded her of Jourdan. She'd left her with John early this morning and cut her cell phone off. She hadn't wanted John to find her or stop her from what she was trying to do. Maybe she was crazy, maybe she was in over her head just like Lana had said, but she wanted to do something. She had to do something.

She heard a car pull up in the distance and turned around. It was a black Lincoln Town Car and after the engine was powered off, she saw 'Harold Wren' get out. He walked over to her slowly and her eyebrow shot up in surprise, he was still limping. She figured it was all a part of his charade before, part of the persona he created.

As he got near her, she stood up to greet him. He eyed her skeptically as they sat down together.

"Ms. Carter."

"Mr. Wren."

"I must say I was very surprised to find out you wanted to see me."

"You mean after you lied to me the first time we met, you didn't think I'd want to ever see you again. Was that it?"

He turned stiffly toward her not answering, but the shifting in his eyes told her he acknowledged her his prior deceit.

"I'm willing to put that behind us if you're willing to help me…"

"I'm not, Ms. Carter. Lana told me what it is that you want and I don't think that it's a very good idea. In fact I think you are treading into dangerous territory if you attempt to find Kara Stanton."

"I just want to help him."

"Looking for Kara will not accomplish that. Not in the least. You see Kara and John are both different sides of the same coin. They worked together, closely for a long time. They accomplished their missions with precision and skill. But while John retained much of the humanity he'd started out with when he joined the military, Kara didn't. She did a number on him, along with the CIA. John would never forgive himself if something were to happen to you or your daughter."

"Derek knows someone."

"Derek Chambers?" Her mention of the private investigator caused him to turn and face her.

"He has a contact at the CIA, maybe we could leak the fact that she's alive and they'd go looking for her."

"If they do that, they might find John."

"But…"

"How hard do you think it would be for them to deduce that he survived the explosion in Ordos if they find out she did as well?"

She turned away from him then, and turned her gaze back to the children on the swings. He sat in silence next to her, looking in the same direction.

"I'm not one to just stand on the sidelines Mr. Wren. My mother always told me I never could sit still. I don't know if you have any family…children, but….my daughter, she just got to know him and….."

Joss' mind was racing still, going a mile a minute, thinking there was something else that had to be done. She was about to speak when he reached out and put his hand lightly on hers for a brief moment then withdrew it.

"I know what it's like to feel loss, to feel like you have no choices in front of you. I know about sacrifice. I've made my share of them, so has Mr. Reese. But the type of work that he's done, it doesn't allow for much of a personal life, a human connection."

"You never wanted us to come to New York, did you?"

It finally dawned on her. He never wanted her and Jourdan to come here at all. In fact if he'd had his way they wouldn't be a part of John's life either.

"I didn't see the wisdom in it."

It was time to leave; it didn't make sense for her to stay any longer. She would find no help in him.

"Thank you for your time." She got up from the bench, picked up her handbag and started to walk away.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted."

She spun round as he said it. "No you're not. Goodbye, Mr. Wren."

Cobble Hill

"Squirt, Jelly Man. Jelly Man, Squirt."

"Jelly?!"

Both Reese and Jourdan were in the family room of the brownstone watching a movie that was apparently one of her favourites. They were still in their pajamas sitting next to each other on the sofa sharing a bowl of treats Reese had thrown together.

"So is this clown fish ever gonna find his son?" He asked her.

"I won't spoil it for you; you just have to watch it to the end."

"Not even a little hint?"

"Nope."

"You're mean."

He smiled, but in the back of his mind he wondered where Joss was. It was mid day now and she hadn't called to say where she was or when she was coming back. She was a grown woman, she didn't need permission to go where she pleased, but with Kara on the loose he didn't want her or Jourdan out of his sight for very long. He tried dialing her number, but it'd gone straight to voicemail.

"Daddy."

"Yes, honey."

"If I went missing would you come and find me?"

The look on her face as she waited for his answer was so serious at the moment, he was taken aback.

"Of course I would. There's nothing I wouldn't do to get you back and make sure you were safe with me and your mother."

She nodded her head, satisfied with that answer and turned her head back to the TV.

"Now this is the part where Dory speaks Whale."

"What?"

Joss let herself into the brownstone two hours after she left Finch at MacCallum Park. She was plagued by memories of her two meetings this morning. Both of them had been fruitless.

She wandered through the large house, calling out for both John and Jourdan, but it seemed neither of them was home. She went into the bedroom, slipping her shoes off and sat on the bed. She reached for her cell phone in her bag and finally switched it back on. She had alerts for two missed calls and she had a new voicemail. Both calls were from John and so was the voicemail.

He let her know that he and Jourdan had gone out and that he was arranging a 'babysitter' for her and he wanted her to call him as soon as she got the message.

"Babysitter?" She said aloud and lay back on the bed. Her phone started to ring and she answered expecting it to be John on the other line.

"I'm home now, sorry I had my phone off."

"You're back in Virginia?" It wasn't John at all.

"Donna?"

"Yeah it's me. Sorry we haven't talked for a minute. Work has been busy as hell, and home has been an adventure too."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice right now."

"What's going on Jossy? Last time we talked you had a date with Paul."

"A date?"

"Yes a date. He asked out for lunch and you accepted."

"That was a business meeting. Although he did ask if I was seeing anyone." The whole meeting was very awkward as far as she was concerned. He spent most of it acting very nervous and looked around a lot like he expected someone to appear out of thin air at any minute.

When she asked him if she was okay, he said he was fine.

"And what'd you tell him?"

"Well really it was none of his business but I told him that I was. He seemed to accept that and we kept the rest of the conversation all business."

"Speaking of this someone…."

"He's out right now with Jourdan. I'm home by myself. He loves spending time with her. She loves her daddy."

"What about the two of you?"

"I feel like I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop, Donna. I just…."

"You feel like it's too good to be true you mean?"

She couldn't share what was going on with her sister. Although she wished she could. She needed another perspective, but if she told Donna about what was really going on, she'd never understand. She was having a problem registering it all herself.

"Something like that. I have a feeling….he might leave again. And if he does, I don't think Jourdan would be able to handle that."

Finch watched Jocelyn Carter get up from the bench beside him. He'd meant to convey empathy as well as sympathy with his words, but he felt as if he'd failed considerably. He truly did understand her feelings of helplessness. He couldn't shake how much she reminded him of Grace, being left behind. She was probably terrified of it happening again, which is why she was making such a foolish and desperate move to find Kara Stanton. But the only person equipped to deal with John's former partner when she did resurface was John himself.

On the drive back to the library he wondered if Mr. Reese was aware of Ms. Carter's actions. He couldn't imagine his partner's approval of her measures in the least. He was sure once he did find out; he would be none too pleased.

She was right, he hadn't wanted them to come to New York, but because he knew all too well how people close to them could get hurt. If anything he'd wanted to spare them all from any pain or danger that could follow them simply because they were involved in John's life.

Now there was a child to consider. Things would not be so easy.

He made his way slowly up the stairs and the further up he got, the louder he made out voices, then laughter between two people. He paused at the top before slowly walking toward the entrance of the main room where he worked and stopped in his tracks at the sight of John standing by the window watching Bear play with a little girl who most likely was his daughter Jourdan.

He'd brought her to the library.

"Mr. Reese….I didn't know we'd be expecting company today." He said as he walked toward them.

"Relax Finch, she's not going to sell our location to the CIA or the any other government agency."

"So this is your equivalent of 'bring your child to work day'?"

He ignored the intense stare Reese gave him and walked over to his desk. Up until now Jourdan had remained silent but as he got closer, she straightened up from playing with Bear and held her hand out to shake it.

"Bonjour, mon nom est Jourdan."

"Sorry, honey. He doesn't speak French."

"Hi! My name is Jourdan." She repeated, in English this time. Her hand was still extended and Finch looked down on her seeing Reese's own eyes staring back at him. Same cheekbones, face, she was the spitting image of her father.

"Hello, Jourdan." He said finally taking her hand.

"His name is Finch." Reese provided.

"Pleased to meet you." He said and sat behind his desk.

"It's nice to meet you Finch. Daddy said it'd be okay if we waited here till we caught up with mom. I hope you don't mind."

"Such a well mannered child, I wonder where she gets that from. and speaking of her mother…." Finch added when Reese opened his mouth to speak.

"What about her?" Asked Reese.

"She and I just had an interesting conversation at McCallum Park a few minutes ago."

"You saw my mom?"

"Honey, why don't you take Bear into the back room for a bit?" Reese waited as the little girl disappeared and he watched as his expression changed from doting father, to one of intense focus. He could see now that he was correct in assuming Reese hadn't known about what Ms. Carter had been doing.

"Just what exactly was this meeting about Finch?"

A voice came from the entrance of the room answering Reese's question for him.

"She wanted his help…..tracking down your former partner."

Finch sat up straight in his chair, while Reese quickly removed his firearm from the small of his back pointed toward the intruder in the library.

"Shaw. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Now is that any way for you to greet an old friend?" Reese kept his weapon raised. He hadn't seen Shaw in years; he didn't quite know just what his motives were or why he was here.

"Forgive me if I don't rush over and greet you with a hug. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Aren't you? I promise you, I'm here to help." Reese realized the delicate situation he was in. Jourdan was in the next room, he didn't want to risk her walking in at any minute seeing him with the gun in his hand. But at the same time, if Shaw had wanted to harm them he wouldn't have announced his presence first. He finally lowered his gun, but kept it at his side instead of fully putting it away.

Finch looked skeptical of Shaw, and Reese stood nearer to him as Sam advanced closer.

"What do you know about Kara?"

"I know that she's here in New York. I know that she had Mark Snow captive and she killed him after she used him to plant a virus at the Department Of Defense. That was just a hint of what she was planning. Now she's looking for you."

"Do you know why?" Asked Finch?

"I don't." Shaw said, looking at Finch. "But I do know if I was able to track you here, and at the brownstone you've been staying at, in Cobble Hill, it won't be long before she does too."

Reese kept his face neutral, calm, but inside he knew Shaw was right. He had to move Joss and Jourdan before it was too late.

"And why are you tracking her?" He watched as his old friend stared at Finch, wondering if he should say more in front of him. "Harold's okay."

Despite Reese's reassurance that Finch could be trusted, Shaw remained tight lipped. Reese excused himself and went to get Jourdan, fastening Bear's leash to his collar.

"Finch, we'll be right back."

"And just where are we going?" Asked Shaw as he followed Reese down the steps of the library.

"We're going to take Bear for a walk."

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

MacCallum Park

"She's your daughter?" Reese sat beside Shaw on a park bench as they both watched Jourdan alternate between throwing the ball to Bear and playing with other kids near the swings.

Reese didn't answer, but nodded his head curtly. They didn't come here to talk about Jourdan however. He needed more information on Kara, information that his old friend didn't want to share in front of Finch.

"You were the last person I ever thought would end up having a family. I thought you'd be a company man for the rest of your life. You loved the work, you were good at it. What happened?"

"A lot of things did."

"Really?"

"People change."

"I guess they do." Their gaze moved back to Jourdan. She stopped to give some commands to Bear in Dutch. Reese could hear her speaking the two commands he'd taught her that very afternoon.

"She's beautiful and you love her. It'd be a shame if anything happened to her. Or your woman. Who I assume you also…love."

Reese stiffened at Shaw's words and turned a deadly stare in his direction. He watched Shaw put his hand into his coat and instinctively reached for his gun.

"Relax, John. I just want to show you something." He shoved an old worn photograph toward him. It was a picture of a woman in her mid thirties and what looked to be a two year old girl.

"My woman Elena and my daughter Emily. My family. Or rather, they were my family."

"What happened?"

"Stanton was sent for me, by the agency to retire me. She found us in Rouen one night. It was late. She started at the back of the house, where Elena was asleep with Emily. I was just coming in and…I didn't know she was in the house looking for me. I found them both, dead in our bedroom. My daughter was two years old, a baby and she killed her. I didn't…I couldn't move. Everything I loved was gone. She shot me in the back. I took three bullets. I would have been dead if it wasn't for a neighbor who found me. A neighbor…..I spent weeks in recovery, with no will to live really….trying to piece together why they were dead and I wasn't. They were dead because of me. Because I was selfish enough to think I could be happy."

Reese was sickened by the story as he listened. The silence that followed his words was heavy. It was evident that he still carried around the guilt of being the only survivor. Reese handed the photo back to Shaw, who stared at it, rubbing his thumb over their faces.

"I kept them secret, hidden for years as best as I could. I didn't plan on having a child, but when we had Emily…."

"Do you know why Kara came after you?"

"I reported some Intel I'd stumbled upon. There was a laptop being sold to a Chinese firm with some confidential source code. Someone within the Pentagon was responsible. Instead of acting on it, they seemed to sweep it under the rug. Shortly after, I was given leave."

"Kara and I were sent to Ordos to retrieve a laptop. We were told about this Chinese firm who'd acquired it. We were supposed to find it, and send a signal for them to pick us up. But Snow gave us both orders to kill each other. We figured it out at the last minute and I got away right before they shelled the place. I thought Kara was dead. I made my way back to the States and left everything behind me. I wonder what it is that she wants."

"You'll find out soon enough. When she comes looking for you, you need to be ready."

Reese nodded and waved at Jourdan.

"Your woman was trying to get your friend from the library to help her find Kara."

"What?"

"From what I heard, she enlisted the help of a cop named Fusco too. You might want to look into that. She's doing everything she can to try to help you. Is she aware of what she's getting herself into? Have you told her?"

The idea of Joss anywhere near Kara made Reese not only nervous but angry. Why was she going behind his back creating a possible scenario that would be extremely difficult to resolve and get out of? It was ludicrous and it was stupid and he would deal with it as soon as he saw her.

He called for Jourdan and Bear and both animal and his daughter came running toward him.

"We have to go honey. Come on. Shaw, I'll be in touch."

Jourdan knew something was wrong; something had changed in her father's mood. Ever since they got back from the park he'd been quiet and he looked angry. She didn't know what to do. They took Bear back to the huge library they were in before and her father had a heated conversation with Finch.

He mentioned her mother and the lady who'd picked them up from the airport when they first got to New York. She was in the back room with Bear, but she could make out a few words of their conversation. Something was wrong and it sounded as if her father wanted them to leave. Harold was telling him that he thought that was a good idea.

She sat down on a chair feeling sad as she fidgeted with her hands in her lap. She didn't understand why he didn't want them around anymore.

"What's the matter, honey? You okay?"

Jourdan was silent on the ride back to the brownstone in Cobble Hill. Instead of engaging him in conversation like she normally did, she stared out the window and said nothing. She didn't want him to hold her hand when they left the library and went to walk to the Town Car, now she didn't seem to want to speak to him at all.

Something was off.

Joss looked at Jourdan and John as they entered the brownstone and knew immediately something had gone wrong. Jourdan looked to be on the verge of tears and John looked angry, annoyed.

She ignored the look on his face and put an arm around her daughter. "What's the matter, baby? What's going on?" She took her upstairs to her bedroom and they sat on the bed together. "Talk to me. Did something happen? Tell me honey."

She heard footsteps approach and a knock on the door before John came in. she looked up as he entered.

"Joss, I need to talk to you. It's important."

"I'll be right back, Jourdan." She said following him down the hall to their bedroom.

"What happened to my child?" she said facing him after he closed the door after them.

"Joss…."

"What happened to my child, John? She was fine when I left her with you this morning and now she looks like she's ready to cry her eyes out. What happened to my child?"

"She's our child and I don't know what happened. I've been trying to get her to talk to me ever since we left the library, but she won't say a word to me."

"Where'd you go? Who'd you talk to? Someone must have done something to her, said something."

"We spoke to Harold before we went to the park, who by the way told me about your conversation with him today and with Fusco."

She was still concerned about Jourdan, so any regret and possibly guilt she might have shown over him finding out about her chat with his employer just wasn't there.

"What were you thinking? We spoke last night about how dangerous this situation was. I thought you understood."

"I wanted to help."

"You can't. this is something that only I can fix. You have to stay out of this."

"I didn't want you to do it on your own. I wanted to help you, be there for you."

"This isn't one of your courtroom cases. It's not as simple as a guilty or not guilty verdict. Your lives are in danger, don't you understand?"

She'd told Donna on the phone that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop and she knew it was coming.

"What do you want me to do John? Cause I'm not gonna change. If I care about someone, I want to help them; I want to be their partner. I can't just sit around and wait for this woman to come after me and my daughter. So excuse me for trying to go on the offensive. Which is what you should have been doing."

"You're both leaving. Tonight. Pack your things."

"I'm not going anywhere." She said with arms folded across her chest.

"What?"

"That's what you always do isn't it? You always push people away when you get scared. I'm not Jessica! I won't let you push me away."

Reese looked at the woman in front of him, refusing to listen to reason. She was fearless, and under different circumstances, he would be impressed. In a way he was. But now he preferred her to be cautious instead of reckless. He was alarmed that she didn't fully appreciate the magnitude of the situation. and he guessed he couldn't fault her for that. There were parts of his past he never wanted her to know or find out about. He never wanted to share some of the things he'd done.

"There are parts of my life, that you can't be a part of. There are places you can't go, things you can't do, Joss. This is one of them. I told you when we first met that normal was never an option for me. Ten years later and that hasn't changed."

"John, you just….."

"This is not up for discussion. This is not something I will compromise on. You and Jourdan, you mean too much to me….and I don't want to lose you. Do not continue this crazy pursuit of yours to find Kara. You won't be helping me. You'll only make it worse."

She walked past him and sat down on the bed. He knew she felt defeated, frustrated. He sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he rested his head on top of hers.

"I know you want to help. But you have to let me handle this. My way."

"Okay." Her answer was quiet and reluctant, and he knew it took a lot out of her to let go of the situation.

"You have to trust me."

"I do. I just…..what happened to my child, John?"

He shook his head looking at her. "I honestly don't know what happened to our child. Let's go find out."

Jourdan was lying on her bed when they got to her room.

"Baby you wanna tell me what's wrong? You're starting to worry me." Joss sat down beside her coaxing her to talk.

"I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Why not?" Asked Joss looking at John, then back at her daughter.

"I thought you liked it here in New York with me and your mother." John sat down on the bed, and put a hand on Jourdan's arm.

"You said you wanted us to leave. I heard you in the library. You said you didn't think we should stay here anymore and you wanted us to leave tonight. I heard Finch agree with you."

"Who's Finch?"

"The man with the glasses." Jourdan answered.

"Harold? Wha…..?"

Reese shook his head, ignoring Joss' confused expression. The explanation about Finch's numerous aliases would have to wait. Right now he needed to clear the air.

"Honey you misunderstood what I meant. Yes I do want the both of you to leave the brownstone, but it's only because I want you to move to a different house. I don't want you to leave New York yet. You still have another week and a half before you head back to Virginia."

"Then you don't want us to go?"

"No, I don't. I'd miss you too much if you left."

Jourdan threw her arms around him and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry honey."

A little over an hour later, their things were packed and they pulled up to his address on Baxter Street.

"Who lives here, daddy?"

"I do."

After he made sure they were settled in and had a good meal he planted Jourdan in front of the TV and took Joss into the kitchen with him.

"I want you to stay here in the apartment until I get back. if you need anything, you call Fusco or you call Finch."

He could tell she was worried and he wanted to reassure her that everything would be okay.

"When are you coming back?"

The answer to that question was simple at all. He stared down into her brown eyes and raised his hand to touch her face. He ran his thumb over her lips, over her cheek and bent down to kiss her hard. She slid her arm around his waist and fisted her hand into the fabric of his jacket. Her other hand went around his neck and she pressed herself into him. Her lips opened against his, her tongue sought his out. He enjoyed the taste of her, her warmth and she grasped at him, somehow sensing that she might not see him for a while.

He hugged her tight, taking in her scent, her touch, the feel of her against him. He wanted to memorize everything about her.

"I'll call you when I can."

"John…." She called after him as he walked away and he turned round to look at her.

"You come back."

He nodded. "I will."

MIDNIGHT

John stood beside Finch in the library. They'd been working off of a lead they'd gotten from Shaw earlier on Kara's whereabouts. She routinely went to a warehouse on 271 Fillmore in Buffalo on Tuesday nights. Tomorrow was Tuesday.

Shaw picked up the phone within seconds of Reese dialing the number.

"Shaw."

"Ready to go hunting?"

A/N Next chapter two former partners come face to face...