Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine.
…until Peeta plays matchmaker.
Fall, Freshmen year
Gale's pretty sure they're on a 'do not admit' list at the fun center after the go-kart incident. Though, really, it's Mellark's fault. Most things are, Gale thinks.
Who knew something with that low a profile could flip so easily?
If he would've just put his foot down and driven like a maniac, like everyone else was, instead of puttering along like a Sunday driver, he wouldn't have been in their way and they wouldn't have ended up in the tires lining the side of the tracks.
The man running the track had promptly run out, fire extinguisher in hand, yelled at them, telling them they were idiost and that this 'place is meant for families!' before telling them to 'get outta my park!'.
Before they left though, it was apparently imperative that the girls, or at least Madge, use the restroom.
So Gale and Mellark get to wait.
"How long does this usually take?" It feels like they've been in there for ages already.
Mellark shrugs, "Well, girls have more to do, I guess."
His sister didn't take this long. Granted, she was six, but still…
"Just sit down and wait. It's all you can do," Mellark flops down on a bench, putting the obnoxious yellow bird Gale had bought to annoy Katniss next to him.
Gale is about to walk off, go wait in the car, when Mellark feels the need to fill the silence around them. He seems to debate with himself for a minute before finally deciding to say what's on his mind.
"You could try being nice, you know?"
Much as he tries not to roll his eyes, he can't help himself. What is Katniss' dopey boyfriend talking about?
"To Madge, I mean."
Ah…wait.
"Why the hell would I be nice to her?" If Katniss had told this idiot about Gale's stupid little crush on Madge he was never speaking to her again.
Mellark's expression, normally a contented smile, morphs into a smirk, "Oh, come on, man. You think I can't see you looking at her? I thought you were going to grab the guy at the gas station by the collar and drag him out back when he told her he liked her shoes."
"He wasn't looking at her shoes," Gale grumbles. He knew exactly what that asshole was looking at.
"Gale," Mellark looks almost pain, "he was commenting on her shoes. Have you ever paid any attention to shoes? He wasn't interested in Madge, trust me."
"What are you-" Oh. Oh.
He really needed to pay better attention.
Looking smugly superior, Mellark flops around, lounges against the giant bird. "I don't know how you've gotten so many dates in the past acting the way you do, but you could try being, I don't know, less of a dick." He shrugs, "It's been known to work."
Gale huffs, "That would be great, if I liked her."
Which he doesn't, at least as far as Mellark is concerned.
"She'd like you if she got to know the, you know, not douchy side of you."
Peeta Mellark: Motivational Coach Extraordinaire.
Does he really think he's helping? 'Cause he isn't.
If he thinks what he's saying is making Gale anymore confident in his nonexistent abilities to woo Madge, he's dead wrong. The 'Madge Undersees' of the world don't date the 'Gale Hawthornes', it's a simple fact. The sooner Gale accepts that the happier he'll be.
"Maybe I am a douchebag." He has a lot of the hallmark signs of being one.
Mellark chuckles, "Naw, I think you have some strong defense mechanisms at work, but I don't think you're a genuine article douche."
Gale hates all that psychology crap Mellark is so fond of throwing out. He isn't a machine that can be broken down into an infinitesimal amount of pieces, all his wants and needs whittled down to weird mental processes that a bunch of dead people made up decades ago.
"What are you talking about?"
"You," Mellark waves a lazy hand in Gale's direction, apparently painting his aura or some crazy shit, with an invisible brush, "have an amazing inferiority complex."
He does not. In fact, Gale is pretty sure he's better than half the people he knows, present company included.
"You don't think you're good enough for Madge."
That…isn't entirely untrue.
"She's rich. She's smart." It isn't necessarily that Gale isn't good enough for her, it's that she's just too good for him.
"Yeah, too bad you're an engineering student," Mellark snorts. "God knows they're morons that can't get jobs."
He really isn't as funny as he's be led to believe.
"Besides, Madge doesn't care about money,-"
Well she really should. It's what makes the world go 'round after all.
"-if you knew what her life has been like you'd know that." He narrows his eyes at Gale, "And you'd know that if you didn't act like an asshat around her and asked her out. Treating her like a bad case of athlete's foot is just your way of keeping her at arms length, trying to get her to do something to make you hate her, prove to yourself that she's something she isn't."
It takes a considerable amount of effort not to smother Mellark with the giant canary.
He has no idea what it's like to be poor. Just because he's dating Katniss, who'd caught a lot of breaks the past few years. She'd never been in the same financial troubles his family had, she got most of her schooling paid for, she got her 'Mr. Sensitive' who liked her even though she wasn't always the friendliest person to be around.
"Give Madge a little credit, let her make her own decisions. She can't like someone she never really gets to know."
"Like you and Katniss?" Gale doesn't even try to keep the scathing tone from his voice.
Mellark brightens, "Exactly! Do you think I started liking her because of her brilliant interpersonal skills?" He makes a noise, something like a snort, "No, I started liking her because I saw the real her. The Katniss that helped her sister and got excited about going hunting with her dad. The Katniss that actually smiled and was friendly with Madge. She's her own person, but she's like you, she keeps it buried, really, reallydeep, and it took me a long time to get her to trust me." He puts his hands behind his head, relaxes a little more into the canary, "If she weren't so guarded we would've dated a long time ago, and the same goes for you."
It annoys Gale to no end that he and Mellark and he have such similar reasons for liking the girls they do. He's even more annoyed that all his stupid psychological mumbo jumbo makes sense.
Madge really hasn't ever made any indication that Gale's money, more specifically the lack of, made any difference to her. She's always been unfailing polite, despite his decided lack of manners towards her.
Still…old habits die hard, but maybe he'll consider some of it. Not that he'll let Mellark know that though.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Mellark shrugs, sits up and wraps his arm around the bird. He eyes it for a second, considering it, then smiles.
"So…did you really give this to Madge just to annoy Katniss?"
Gale smirks, "Bet your ass I did."
The groan Mellark makes probably scandalizes a few of the families walking out.
"They're going to name a disorder after the two of you, you know that, right?"
As long as 'Hawthorne' comes first in the listing, he's fine with that.
#######
The ride home is uneventful.
Gale gets the backseat, despite attempting to call 'shotgun'. Mellark had given him a jab in the gut with his thick elbow, shot him a look that said 'trust me' before proceeding to stuff Madge into the middle seat with Gale and the bird, which had been dubbed 'Bob', taking the door seats.
"Why can't I get the window seat?" Madge asks looking a little uncomfortable with the seating arraignment.
Gale is too. He can already feel the sweat glands under his arms kicking into overdrive.
"The smallest person gets the middle seat, you know that Madge," Mellark explains, as though he's not giving a stuffed animal full rights and privileges. He then buckles the stupid thing in, beaming at the glaring Madge.
Carefully, desperate not to drench her in sweat, Gale slides in. It takes all the steel in his nerves to not shake as he buckles himself in, settles himself back down in the seat.
He doesn't quite know what to do with his hands, put them in his lap or cross his arms? Should he relax and stretch his arm over the back of the seat like he normally does?
Damnit, Mellark! Did he really have to play matchmaker?
Gale can feel buckets or hot sweat rolling down his back, tries to wipe it off his face without drawing attention to the fact that he's quickly dehydrating himself.
If Madge gets out of the backseat and isn't drenched in his nasty pit sweat it'll be nothing short of a miracle.
Mercifully, or perhaps because he sees the look of increasing panic on Gale's face, Mellark turns on the car and a blast of cold air hit the backseat, like an arctic blessing.
Feeling the sweat begin to dry on his skin, Gale relaxes.
"Peeta! You're freezing me out!"
Madge has her hands vigorously rubbing up and down her arm, trying to use the friction to warm her inexplicably cold skin.
"Just lean on Gale," Mellark tells her. He doesn't so much as glance at the back seat as he pulls onto the road, but Gale can almost see the dopey grin on his face. "He's super hot."
I'm going to kill him. They can add that to the list of distinguishing characteristics for the 'Hawthorne Disorder', or whatever Mellark is going to name it, an almost frustrating need to beat the smug out of 'helpful' so-called 'friends'.
Katniss falls asleep in the front seat of Mellark's crappy car, which Gale can feel, quite easily, needs a new set of shocks. He watches as Madge, huddling against Bob the bird, gets drowsier and drowsier. Her eyelids flutter a few times before they drift close and her breathing evens out.
When she starts to slump forward, Gale catches her, tries to prop her against Bob again before finally catching Peeta's eyes in the rearview mirror. He jerks his head in Madge's direction, as if to say 'Well, I got you this far'.
Gale shoots him the dirtiest look he can manage, but finally puts his arm over the back of the seat, maneuvers Madge into the crook of his arm and prays his combo deodorant and antiperspirant is living up to its claims. He's only used up twelve of the twenty-four hours it guarantees.
Mellark wags his eyebrows and Gale has the overwhelming urge to shave them off his smirking face the next chance he gets.
The next half hour is the longest of his life, as they drive back to the apartment. He keeps catching whiffs of Madge's shampoo, raspberry he thinks, maybe strawberry, his mind isn't thinking clearly, and he can tell herdeodorant is working.
When they finally pull into the parking lot Mellark rouses Katniss just enough to get her up, out of the car, and up the stairs.
Gale extracts himself from around Madge and scoots out of the car, carefully letting her come to a rest in the seat.
"When she goes out, she's out!" Mellark yells from over the railing. "She had a lot of stimulation today, she's all tuckered out. Looks like you'll have to carry her up."
That golden haired bastard had planned this. Gale isn't sure how, but he had.
"What would you do if I weren't here?" Gale yells up.
"I'd carry her," he answers back. "But you're here, so I don't have to do all the heavy lifting. Thanks man! Don't forget Bob!"
With his stomach doing summersaults, Gale debates going up the stairs and…well, he isn't sure what he's planning on doing, but it would be unpleasant.
Instead he glances at Madge, curled up in the seat, feet up under Bob, and sighs.
Gently, he gets his arms around her, heaves her out of the car, expecting her to wake up and scream. That would be his luck, Mellark being a dirty, dirty liar.
She doesn't though, just sleeps on through as he adjusts her in his arms and catches Bob by the fluffy butt, dragging him behind them.
Gale's had practice carrying his siblings and their stupid toys so it's not as hard as it could be, still, Madge is a full sized, if somewhat small, adult and Bob is annoyingly large.
When he gets into the open door of the apartment Mellark is sitting on the couch, Katniss curled up beside him, snickering at Gale's struggle.
"You two drugged her didn't you?" He needs new friends.
Mellark makes a little noise, shakes his head, "She's been a hard sleeper since she was little."
Katniss' grin widens, "I would consider this payback for stealing my tickets, but you're probably enjoying it a little too much."
He is, but he isn't going to let them know that. This is the most physical contact he's had with Madge ever, the most he ever will, so he considers this more of a payoff than a payback.
"Go to hell," he grunts at her.
Not even sparing them a glance, he drags Bob behind him as he carries Madge into her room.
Very carefully, he puts her down, grabs the fleecy looking blanket from the bottom of her bed and covers her. He puts Bob in the corner of her room, in an ancient looking rocking chair, angling him so that he appears to be staring at her. He supposes that's a bit of an asshole move, but it's too funny to resist.
When he leaves the room Katniss is waiting for him, leaning on the counter between the kitchen and the living room.
"I don't know what Peeta told you, but I'm sure it's right." She looks toward the bedroom, presumably where her boyfriend is now getting ready for bed, "He acts like an idiot that hasn't passed second grade most of the time, but he's actually pretty smart. He's good at reading people. Take his advice."
With that she heads to her bedroom, not even looking back at Gale as she does.
Happy that Mellark had apparently kept his personality dissection, or whatever stupid name he had for his analysis of Gale, from Katniss, she'd pity him or something stupid and he doesn't want that, Gale heads for the door.
He's starting to pull it shut when it catches. Mellark, dressed in the tackiest pair of heart patterned boxers Gale had ever laid eyes on, pulls it open again, puts his head just barely out.
"Remember: don't be a dick."
Gale puts his hand on Mellark's face, gives him a shove, back inside the door.
"Don't be a dick, got it."
If Peeta Mellark wants to play matchmaker, fine.
Gale doesn't have a chance with her, he's is still perfectly aware of that, but if Mellark wants to put his dopey face in Gale's business, then when it all falls apart, it'll at least be his fault and not Gale's.