There wasn't much time to rest once the two returned from their excursion, as Impa reappeared a day later, escorting the two of them from the hideout and across the fields, all the while keeping completely silent and instantly hushing any questions attempted. It wasn't until all three of them were secure in a similar style underground cave nearer the lake that she explained that Ganondorf had somehow been able to sense the change in magical energies from the temple's awakening. While he likely couldn't track it back to the source, the forest would soon be bursting with monsters, and she did not want to take the chances of one of them stumbling upon the two. They were to keep here for now to wait out the extra activity until she could figure the extent of the danger.

Sheik had also noticed the way she almost constantly hovered around him in that time. It made sense, after all: Ganondorf likely knew the terms for awakening the temple and would stop at nothing pursuing the first trace of the princess in years. He would just have to accept this further inability to act, for all their sakes.

Things quickly calmed down for Sheik and Vasheel, though. With no real input except when Impa came back with their supplies, the threat of discovery lost its immediacy and the two settled into a routine. This time, as the weeks progressed, there wasn't the same tension as before, largely due to the fact that they were so wrapped up in their individual thoughts that they ignored each other – on purpose and accidentally.

Vasheel buried himself in his books, sitting in place for hours until stiffness in his limbs forced him to move. The few materials he hadn't read were quickly devoured, and the pages of his own notes multiplied dramatically. He forced himself to work at a measured pace. As much as he wanted to tear through everything, completely lose himself in it to the point where other thoughts were impossible and exhaustion granted him the reprieve of dreamless sleep, Vasheel knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. He would run out of things to do. So he balanced the line, keeping just enough occupied to shield himself from the intrusive thoughts.

Unfortunately, the inherent stillness of those activities soon built into a restlessness that verged on physical discomfort, to the point where he knew if he didn't do something it was a matter of hours before he ended up screaming and breaking things. So that frustration got channeled into potion-making, trading off between tasks.

When Impa came to check in on them, it was to find a decently wide stock of common medicines and mixtures – enough for a small shop, she would guess. The only response she could manage was asking what he planned to do with it, and when he shrugged, saying they never knew when they would need it and if she really cared she could take some, Impa dismissed it as a harmless eccentricity. She was able to plant small portions of it in the smaller towns where they didn't have the supplies and money. That made it almost worth it that the boy gave her a long and very detailed list of plants he wanted to keep making things with.

Even with this routine established, there were still times when he was forced to confront his own thoughts, in the especially simple steps of mixing potion bases, physically but not mentally incapacitating headaches, or the times before falling asleep. He'd initially been able to dismiss his thoughts in the Lost Woods as part of his addled mind, but after a few days and Sheik's presence still eliciting reactions, the excuse just couldn't hold up. But even after he was forced to acknowledge that something was going on, Vasheel wouldn't – couldn't put words to it. As time went on he found himself on rare occasions even trying to figure it out, that feeling that held the overwhelming fullness, the volume of apathy but only a little of its weight; the stormy, alert tinge of anxiety; and the barest hint of the feeling of separation from himself he got when he was overwhelmed.

The realization, though, hit him all at once and without the need for contemplation. Sheik had been practicing some routine or whatever accidentally cut his arm and the first time Vasheel even consciously noticed the situation he was already halfway over, muttering some exasperated comment. He froze then, as the thoughts he'd been carrying around and trying to push away clicked together and everything became distant. Somewhere in his mind, he registered Sheik, an arm's reach away and staring at the abrupt change in Vasheel, and that small bit of himself compelled him to move again, going through the motions of fixing Sheik up, but to his conscious self, it was as if he was watching from somewhere else, senses barely coming through. Even his thoughts were stunned. Instead of the panic, the racing thoughts or emotions he might've expected to come with such a revelation, there was nothing. It was as if his mind refused to operate. He had finished his earlier work sorting a new bunch of plants and lain down, feigning tiredness, before his thoughts, at least, were released from the fog.

He cared about Sheik.

It shouldn't have hit him so badly – for most people, the concept of giving a shit about another person often happened automatically, so many times it would never even register. But even that basic level of emotion was something Vasheel had almost never experienced, either because of his isolation or easy irritability. This was more than that. He had just automatically gone to help Sheik, no prompting, for something so simple the other would've had no trouble tending to it.

How was he supposed to process that? Vasheel had always figured he wasn't necessarily incapable of feeling friendly towards others – although there had been times he'd considered it – just that it was difficult, but even then he'd thought it would have to be a conscious decision. But no, apparently not.

And it wasn't even that simple, was it? As he curled up further into himself under the blanket, all hopes of sleep now fully dashed, he recalled the Lost Woods and hell, even a few times before that that probably counted. This was different even from that. He-. No, no. Even understanding now, with the words in his head, Vasheel couldn't bring himself to actually think them, to let himself acknowledge that bit. Too painful.

So instead he stewed and ruminated. Why did this have to happen to him? It was ridiculous and unfair and for the love of Nayru, this Sheikah annoyed him just like everyone else did, he was nothing special, so what made him so different that he could inspire this level of concern and – goddesses damn it – affection?

XXXXXXXX

Sheik's ways of distracting his mind were in much the same vein, trying to occupy his mind or empty it. Even with as much practice as he'd had with meditation, clearing his thoughts to concentrate in prayer or to connect with magic around himself, it still wasn't perfect. Besides, he only had so much energy to use on that level of focus. When he tired of that, Sheik spent time training, running himself through drills or simply exercising.

Where the two differed, though, was the fact that Sheik didn't completely ignore what was bothering him. He simply couldn't. As much as he'd been able to dismiss them in the moment, Vasheel's comments about the Sheikah in the Lost Woods had carried too much conviction to completely disregard. Vasheel had read a lot, including, it seemed, books from Impa's private collection, and had grown up outside the potential influence of being around the Sheikah and the Royal Family, among common folk who would feel freer to speak of such things with less fear of retribution. The worst part, though, was that he knew Vasheel wasn't lying.

Those factors put together meant that Sheik was forced to confront the possibility that the Sheikah might not have been as good as he'd always thought. And if it only had been that they weren't perfect, he could handle that. It was normal for someone to learn that about people they respected as they grew up. But to accept the fact that they acted in ways that went against the very principled he'd been raised on…

The first time he let himself get that far, Sheik started crying so badly he couldn't do anything for several hours. Small mercy at least that Vasheel had been asleep at that point.

To think that it could be true hurt him more than anything else ever had. Loyalty, justice, to respect and protect the entirety of the land – were supposed to be the Sheikah code, something that had always seemed the most admirable. Even his own name, silly as it might be, had come from the memory of being five and clinging to Impa everywhere she went, begging for more stories of their heroes past and declaring that she wanted to be like them.

Impa…

It should have been so easy to ask, to expect the response denying everything, proving beyond a doubt that the things – and person – he held most dear weren't based in a lie. But he couldn't bring himself to, too afraid that he would have to hear her admit to such horrible things, or worse, to hear her try to dispel his fears and recognize the lie in her voice.

At least it was easy for Sheik to avoid her. He didn't want her noticing his change and trying to talk to him. She rarely showed up, he managed to disguise his mood as impatience to leave or tiredness, and Vasheel usually kept her occupied with his ridiculously detailed descriptions of plants he wanted anyway.

For a short time, after weeks of keeping it to himself, he almost considered talking to Vasheel about it, if only to have someone else to talk to it. Problem was, the other wasn't exactly fond of the Sheikah, which probably destroyed any possibility of him saying something reassuring, and he seemed to have an uncanny knack for being insulting or insensitive even when he was actively trying not to be. Besides, Vasheel had been acting really weird, especially more recently, half-paying attention to anything Sheik said at best and seeming to go out of his way to ignore him in a way that went beyond an 'I'm sick of being around you' vibe.

And so the Sheikah was left alone with the heavy burden of sifting through his memories, his lessons, what he'd read – anything that would concretely disprove Vasheel's statements or at least the chasmic discrepancy between them and everything he'd ever known.

XXXXXXXX

Fortunately for the both of them, this state, while lasting quite a while, proved not to be endless. The next time Impa appeared, it was for more than a quick update and resupply. "I've been monitoring Ganondorf's agents and it seems as though they've finally settled down again. From what I can tell, the forest is still swarming with monsters, but they've stopped searching so much everywhere else." She casually brushed a hand over Sheik's shoulder as she spoke. The faint expression of unease he made gave her pause for a moment, but she decided it would be more practical to wait and ask him later. "While this doesn't mean we still shouldn't be careful, we now have the chance to do more scouting and maybe even take action." More hesitation at Sheik's reaction, this time a spark in his eyes at the possibility of direct action. She hated to crush him like this, but, "Vasheel, I'm taking you with me to investigate the Death Mountain foothills. There's clearly some kind of disturbance in the area, and I don't want our path to the Fire Temple to be cut off. We leave sunset tomorrow."

Vasheel simply nodded a few times before turning away.

The beginnings of Sheik's protests were quickly cut off as Impa gently took hold of his arms and pulled him in towards her. "I know," she said, brushing back his hair. "You want to go, and believe me, I want to let you. It's just too risky right now. I need help, and you're the more important one here, that's all." Noticing that Vasheel was still actually paying attention, she added, "No offense."

He shrugged. "You're completely right."

Sheik looked up at her as she turned back to him, blurring as he struggled to keep his emotions contained. Impa was speaking from a place of absolute sincerity and love, and that only worsened the sting of being left out, denied his right to defend Hyrule as he'd promised. All he could manage was a small "okay" as she pulled him in for a hug.

The next day managed not to make Sheik feel any worse, at least, as he'd resigned himself to being left on this one. He could use some time alone anyway, and at some point he'd be going out too. That became harder to keep up as time passed. Impa came and went several times over the next few weeks, each time taking Vasheel with her, each time leaving Sheik behind. And he knew it wasn't meant to hurt, he was important beyond literally anyone in Hyrule and staying safe wasn't meant to be kept likely, but Goddesses. Every second down in the hideout was a reminder of his absolute helplessness and the ringing echo of being denied any choice in the matter, even the slightest option of being able to remedy the mistakes his choices had wrought.

He had it under control, though. He was managing. At least he thought so, until, not long after returning on a scouting mission, Vasheel had knocked over a few books and Sheik was on him, clutching him hard enough to leave bruises and ready to argue the second the other said literally anything.

Instead, when Vasheel had frowned and said, "getting a little stir-crazy, huh?," all the strength left his body and he collapsed on top of him, shaking. "I-I just want to do something. I'm a Sheikah and I know…. but it's not fair!"

Vasheel extracted his arms and held them up against himself, just below shoulder height. It was a little awkward, but he wanted as little physical contact with Sheik as possible. This was exactly why he'd had no problems with going out on Impa's orders. Well, avoiding his weird feelings and getting to be somewhere that actually let him breathe.

Fortunately, Sheik then sat up. "Sorry about that," he said quietly, brushing himself off. "It's just….not good. If I could at least go above ground once in a while…"

An idea struck Vasheel, one that he instantly tried to get rid of, because he instinctually knew it was born out of the part of him that he had been trying to bury. Problem was, it was too perfect. Worse than that, both parts of it appealed to him. As nice as his current excursions were, he was constantly under Impa's watch and orders, almost more restricted than being down here. He needed his own space and freedom and goddesses fuck it wasn't fair how much it hurt him to see the almost flat-out despair on Sheik's face every time they left and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand either. And now, after this outburst…

He spoke up before he could regret it. "You could, you know."

Sheik paused. "That's nice of you to say, but at this point I think Impa's too paranoid to let me."

"Impa's not here right now."

A long stare as he ran through the logic of the statement. Then, "She wouldn't want me to. It's not safe."

Getting up, Vasheel stared at the entrance as he mentally calculated the time. "I don't recall there being an explicit order not to leave. Besides," he added, refusing to back down now, "a few feet out the door would hardly make a difference. As far as I know, the only thing really keeping you from magical tracking is me, so I'll just have to escort you."

Sheik watched helplessly as Vasheel strode to the door and began opening it as if it were the simplest decision in the world. Everything he'd said had been true, but the idea of betraying Impa's trust like that didn't sit well. Crossing his arms, he pointedly dropped his weight even more where he was sitting. The resolve only lasted as long as it took for the sounds of the night to start pouring in and a light breeze to brush the back of his neck. He turned, then internally cursed when he saw Vasheel leaning against the open doorway.

"You know if we get caught, you can blame me."

With heavy steps, Sheik made his way over until he was just inside that side of the threshold. Pulling his scarf completely off and adjusting his braid so his hair swept behind him, he drank in the sheer amount of life he could feel compared to the barren cave. No negative feelings assailed him, only an ever-renewed love for the simple existence of the land. This was what everything was about, and one day, he would earn the ability to walk here alone, day or night, without the slightest fear of harm. "It's beautiful," he whispered.

"Yeah, I guess it's alright." While Sheik stared up at the stars, Vasheel, still against the door, kept watching the other next to him. It was always nice to watch the beauty of the sky's endlessness, but he'd seen that before. The Sheikah's expression of peace and contentment, however, was unlike anything he'd ever witnessed. The faint smile on his face disappeared as his brain decided to ruin the moment, reminding him that this was the exact opposite of what you're supposed to be doing, thoughtless, since when has tolerating other people been beneficial for you, let alone caring? Soundlessly, Vasheel stepped back and into the hideout proper, leaving Sheik alone to enjoy the moment.

XXXXXXXX

The next morning Vasheel found Sheik lying flat on the ground, arms crossed to prop his forehead slightly up. He gave it a moment's attention but quickly set to his usual busy work. As…nice…as it had been in the moment, his actions from before now weighed heavily, an even more concrete reminder of exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. As several hours passed and his curiosity over whether Sheik was just asleep or not grew, Vasheel finally got up and poked at him with the edge of a book. "Certainly an interesting form of meditation."

Absolutely no movement. "I feel bad."

"Oh." He leaned back towards his things. "What is it? I've got medicine for pretty much anything common, well, didn't have enough-"

Slightly more muffled, "Not like that. I feel bad mentally."

"Ohh." This time his voice came out slightly lower, almost a disgusted sound. Great. Emotional reassurance. Precisely the opposite of what he was good at. "Well I've got nothing for that," he said, hoping that would end the conversation.

There was a period of silence before Sheik asked, "How do you manage to just … not have a conscience?"

"I have one," he replied, the slightest bit petulantly.

Sheik simply twisted to the side a bit, head now propped on one hand, and stared him down.

Crossing his arms, Vasheel glared back. "I do. If I didn't, you'd be a lot more miserable, possibly dead. Trust me."

"I can think of maybe one thing that would suggest you do."

That irritating new part of him that was struggling to gain a hold and a voice was very much tempted to ask what the thing was, but he shoved it aside as roughly as he could, considering it was all mental. As he readied himself to give a harsh, probably sarcastic answer, it came back at a different angle and harder to resist, logically backed as it was. He hadn't personally done anything particularly reprehensible lately that could have possibly caused this, and with no one else around to attribute it to, the real problem had to be internal. A sigh. "Is this about last night?"

Sheik didn't say anything, and it was obvious he was trying to keep the same expression, but he had already started to chew on his bottom lip by the time he caught himself.

"Really. You didn't even leave!"

"Just because you don't care about other people's trust…" Frowning, he shrank into himself, unconsciously pulling his legs up to his torso. "There's just so much guilt and it hurts."

Ugh. Feelings. Any other person, anytime before this and he'd tell them how absolutely ridiculous they were being, maybe even laugh at them. But no. Instead, this vicarious miasma of unpleasantness settled on Vasheel. He could have at least been given a semblance of social skill in this area to make up for it, thanks. Would have to handle this his way then. "Look, she doesn't know, doesn't need to know, and did you get hurt? Were you ever even slightly in danger?"

"You're missing the point?"

"No." He leaned in ever so slightly. "It made you feel better and no harm done. I fail to find any moral issue in that."

Sheik flipped around completely, now facing the other side.

"Fine! Suit yourself," he said, irritation and impatience quickly bleeding through. As he got up to leave, his mind slipped out one final thought before he could catch it. "We should actually leave go out. It'd be even nicer and then you could somewhat reasonable justify your guilt."

XXXXXXXX

Vasheel hadn't really expected Sheik to ever even consider his offer, so it came as a huge surprise when, about a week and a half later, Sheik plodded down next to him.

"Iwanttogooutside."

He flinched, from being startled enough that he almost sliced his finger with the knife he'd been holding, as well as from the sudden proximity. "What?"

Steeling himself, Sheik took in a deep breath. "I said-"

"No, I heard you," he waved off the stumbling attempts to continue speaking. "You mean more than that though, right?" Not bothering to wait for a real response, since actually prodding something out of Sheik could take hours if he bothered to do it delicately, he continued, "Asking me to leave here with you, huh?"

"Well I…"

Vasheel shook his head as he got up. As far as he could tell, he wasn't followed, and sure enough, when he turned back after opening the entrance, Sheik was still in the exact same spot, having moved only his eyes to track him. "Well?" He gave an exaggeratedly low bow, sweeping one hand from Sheik's direction to the door. "Your highness."

Sheik tensed, but after a second strode purposefully out, crossing the threshold without hesitation and without so much as glancing at Vasheel.

Shrugging it off, Vasheel exited as well, pausing to cover the entrance before chasing after the other. He found Sheik in the middle of the nearest clearing, shoulders just a little too rigid and high up as he stared at the treetops. Coming around him in a wide arc, Vasheel followed his gaze, then moved back to meet it. "I know it's a nice night, but being exposed like this is a little too bold for even me. Come on."

Led by Vasheel, the two made their way back into the trees, settling on a thick branch about twenty feet up. No words were exchanged for a while as they sat and absorbed their surroundings.

With the pressure of conversation and immediate reactions lifted, Sheik found himself slowly loosening. The stress of his resolve to actually go through with this had been eating at him for a while before, and while Vasheel had managed to get rid of some of it in not making fun of him like he'd expected, addressing him like that, as much as he knew it was sarcasm, brought in a whole slew of negativity that took a while to talk himself out of.

"You're reacting better than I expected." Vasheel commented offhandedly.

He considered that for a moment. The guilt was still there, true, and it would strengthen as soon as he went back inside, but out here it was all too easy to let the input of the world wash over his senses, just enough that he didn't have the energy for much in the way of stray thoughts, but not so much that he was overwhelmed. He locked his legs around the tree limb and tipped his weight backwards to just a little before the point where he felt he would lose balance and fall. "I think you're rubbing off on me."

A snort. "Add that to my list of achievements, then. Corrupted a promising young Sheikah away from his ideals and toward the path of indifference." He absently pulled his hair back with both hands. "The negativity of my existence knows no ends."

"You're not completely horrible."

Furrowing his brow, Vasheel looked at Sheik for the first time in the conversation. "Mmm. I don't think so."

Sheik readjusted his weight so he flipped completely over, hanging upside down by his legs. The giggle at Vasheel's expression of panic was only stifled by the fact that breathing was more effort now. "No. I said it before, remember. One thing."

His expression slightly more irritated-looking than default, Vasheel adjusted himself around to face the other. "Yes of course." He cursed softly as his sleeve caught on a patch of bark.

"I mean, you were right. Just a little," he added hurriedly. "And I still know this isn't something I should make a habit of or get careless about, but it wasn't fair of me to simply dismiss you and your ideas as basically immoral because of it." As he spoke, he began to ever-so-slightly swing back and forth.

It hadn't been explicitly worded that way, but Vasheel recognized the apology in his words, and that struck a chord in him. Sure, there was a small point to what Sheik was saying, but considering that in the same conversation Vasheel had openly and unashamedly mocked him for having – really kind of admirable, when he considered the rest of the population – morals and a code of honor, Sheik had no reason to apologize.

But that was just what he did, wasn't it? Something had convinced Sheik that he wasn't an enemy, and because of that, it seemed he had an endless capacity for forgiveness, at least in the longer term. And yet he still managed it without allowing Vasheel to overpower or take control of him.

Even under normal circumstances, Vasheel knew he would never deserve that kind of treatment. Add onto that his general irritable attitude, not to mention all the (probably uncountable by now, he certainly couldn't remember) times he'd somehow insulted, hindered, or belittled Sheik, often for no reason, and the only thing he had earned should have been the Sheikah's absolute disgust. Explains why you like him, certainly.

And with that thought, Vasheel felt a slight weight tug at his stomach. Continuing to be horrible to Sheik when he knew his actions would cause harm was bad enough before, but now? Saying that he would be hypocritical to say he cared about Sheik would be the least of it.

"Maybe not for that exact reason, but you still had a point." Vasheel felt his throat close up as Sheik paused, staring at him incredulously. "I haven't exactly…" Goddesses, he always had no problem being blunt, but this was different. Lashing out at people was an instinctual reaction, so saying this was, although at a small scale, in essence, rejecting a part of himself. "haven't exactly been kind to you. Ever, really."

Sheik frowned, and pushed his legs from the branch, at the same time grabbing another branch. Using his momentum, he swung around and back up to where Vasheel was sitting. "Sorry, I don't have enough strength to pull myself up, but I had to have been upside down for too long. I thought I heard you being sincere. And not sincerely angry."

Holy fuck that was the cutest thing he'd ever heard. Sheik had been sarcastic with him before, but the whole thing was on a completely different level. Vasheel paused as he tried to process it. Shit. Shitshitshit. Then he started panicking as he remembered he was supposed to be saying something but had completely lost the words. Finally, he managed, "Well it's the truth isn't it?"

The forcefulness of the question caused Sheik to scoot back a little, but he held his composure. "Well yes, and I suppose you have admitted to it before, but it's not like much has changed, so it doesn't make sense why you'd care."

Vasheel dipped his head in a way that the shadow of his bangs just obscured his face. "I know. But that's hardly fair to you, is it? And it's not going to get us anywhere going forward, with things only getting worse out here." He straightened up, expression one of the most serious he'd shown, barring the ones he had handling delicate plants or especially complex potions. "You already had every right to do this, but I'm giving you permission since that seems to be a thing for you. Next time I'm being a shit to you, tell me. I'm going to try to avoid it, but…" He waved a hand vaguely. "Well, you know. Habits."

"O-okay then," Sheik managed, still confused. "So…you promise to actually try to be nicer and I promise to help you?" While this turn of events certainly wasn't unpleasant, to him it was completely out of nowhere. Ridiculous as it was, he couldn't help but question if this was truly the same person.

Vasheel nodded, and when Sheik tentatively stretched out an arm, the two shook hands, lingering afterward, neither really sure what to do, before they separated.

"Are your hands really always this fucking cold?"

Sheik nearly exploded into laughter. Well, some things hadn't changed, at least.

had so much fun writing this one, if you couldn't tell. things are just. really going to be happening from here and it's all things i am very excited for.

Twilit Guest: haha well, I suppose it is a little bit denial. Vasheel is in fact very much opposed to it because of the way magic operates, but he does totally secretly think the things that can be done with magic are cool.