Author's Notes: Thank you so much to my wonderful beta, Phoenix. She always betas my chapters so quickly.
Thank you also to my reviewers. Your support is so wonderful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am proud to announce that this story has been nominated in round six of the Multifaceted Awards in the Intelligence and Possibility categories. Any votes would be so very much appreciated. Voting opens July 5 and lasts through July 22. Copy and paste the following link to cast your votes. http/multifaceted. am honored and appreciative to whomever it was who nominated me. Thank you!
Disclaimer: All of Harry Potter belongs to the talented J.K. Rowling. I have just borrowed the characters to play with them. I will return them in one piece and in their original conditions when I am done with them. I am not making a profit from this story. It was written purely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.
Severus didn't know why he didn't go back to see Hermione after leaving the previous day. He only knew that he was not ready for what was going on. He has spent years grieving for his lost child. He had finally given up on his feelings of betrayal when she was suddenly back in his life. And she was the most annoying person he had ever met. She was the ultimate know-it-all, constantly raising her hand in his class with the right answers. It infuriated him to no end. The fact that her future self so utterly betrayed him made it all worse. He was in disbelief that the obnoxious creature would be the mother of his child. His anger for her future actions coupled with his annoyance of her made him cruel to her. He was set upon making her hate him. Of course it hadn't worked. It only made her more determined to crack his façade.
Severus sighed as his thoughts turned to memories of Hermione at school with him. Fleeting memories of her everyday smiles for him ran through his mind. The look of joy and love in her eyes as she put on his mother's necklace, followed by their tender lovemaking, replayed in his mind. The look of happiness when she found her Valentine's Day rose swept through his thoughts. He remembered their lovemaking on the Astronomy Tower when he had seen her naked pregnant body for the first time since she had started showing. The wonder he had felt feeling their child kicking his hands had been sweeter than any other experience he had ever had. Hermione's entire soul had lit up that night as they held each other moaning in ecstasy.
His thoughts turned to memories of Hermione leaving him alone after making love for the second time and of her kissing Black outside of the Quidditch pitch. He had forgiven her twice. Severus Snape was not a forgiving man. And he had let Hermione back in two times. When Dumbledore told him that Hermione was ashamed of having ever been with him and had gone, it had been the worst day of his life, until Aiden had nearly died. His feelings of betrayal and hatred seemed juvenile compared to the fear he had felt when he nearly lost his son for the second time. Then Hermione had succumbed to an eclamptic seizure, and Severus' heart nearly burst at the thought of really and truly losing his family. He still loved Hermione with every fiber of his being and had only realized it when she momentarily stopped breathing.
Why, then, was it so hard for him to go back to the hospital to see her? He was unsure of how to handle the rush of emotions that assaulted him every time he saw her. He had served the Dark Lord since he was eighteen, and it had become habit for him to bury his feeling in the recesses of his heart. He had ignored them for so long that he didn't know how to deal with them now.
Severus dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his tired eyes. It had been three days since he had gone to see her. He felt like the lowest form of life, thinking of how betrayed she must now be feeling. For years, he had dreamed of finding her and taking their child away from her, letting her know what it felt like. He had wanted to hurt her as much as possible. But now, it hurt to think of her being sad. He hated feeling so vulnerable. Love was the weakness he had always known it to be. Still, he had fallen in love.
The pecking on his door startled him, and he flicked his wand. The door opened, and an owl flew in. "Don't you dare leave behind any evidence of your presence on my dungeon floors," he snarled to the creature as it deposited a letter on his desk. It squawked in indignation as it turned and flew from the office. Opening the letter, Severus let out a gasp and stood quickly. As he was walking to the door, Potter strolled up.
"Professor, do you mind a word before your office hours end?" Potter asked.
"Yes, I bloody well mind," Severus snarled. "Get out of my way, Potter. I have business to attend to." He flicked his wand, and the wards to his office rose as he stalked away without another word to Potter.
Harry was surprised by Snape's demeanor. He seemed almost flustered about something. Noticing that the office door was still cracked, Harry couldn't help but be curious as to what would have Snape so rushed that he would leave his door open. He scanned the wards and was surprised to realize that they were so basic that a first year would probably be able to break them. His curiosity peaked, and he was unable to stop himself from breaking the wards and entering.
The first thing he noticed was Snape's desk. The chair was not pushed in, but left out as though Snape had stood in a hurry. He had left in such a hurry that he had knocked over an ink well, just leaving it without cleaning up the mess. Harry moved closer and saw the Saint Mungo's seal on the parchment. He cast an Evanesco and picked up the letter.
Professor S. Snape:
We feel that it is time for an intervention on behalf of Hermione Granger. She has not eaten in three days. The shock on her system of the delivery three days ago has left her weak, and she is falling ill. We fear for her health so much so that, if we cannot get her to eat, we will be in need of various potions to force her nourishment. It is of the utmost importance that you come immediately. Healer Patson
Saint Mungo's
Maternity
Harry reeled. They had all been told that Hermione had a family emergency and would be gone for an unknown length of time. According to this letter, she was ill and getting worse. Why were they calling Snape to her side? Shouldn't they be calling friends and family to her side? It must be so that he could provide the potions. Harry stiffened. Delivery? Maternity? Hermione had a baby?
"Oh, Ron, what did you two get yourselves into?" he said softly.
"Baby?" Ron nearly shrieked.
Harry punched his arm. "Be quiet, Ron! We don't need everyone to know what is going on."
"Hermione had a baby?" Ron squeaked out, rubbing his arm.
"Well, you should know," Harry said stiffly. "Why didn't you tell me you and Hermione had gone all the way? It might have made her running out of the common room the night you broke up make more sense."
"Harry, we never did! The furthest I got was a grope of her knockers one night. And she slapped me right after. If she was pregnant, it wasn't with my baby." Ron's freckled face was pale as he stared at Harry in shock.
"But, you and Hermione…" Harry trailed off, unsure what to say. "We need to go see her," he said determinedly. "Something is very wrong."
Severus arrived at the hospital in typical Potions master flair. His robes swirled around him, and the look on his face made people rush to get out of his way. When he reached the maternity ward, he went straight to Hermione's room, despite a Healer's attempts to stop him.
The shock of the sickly looking Hermione nearly took his breath away. Her hair was unkempt. It had always been frizzy, but this was an extreme. The circles under her eyes were dark and contrasted with paleness of her face. She was asleep, but her breathing was labored, as if she had a great weight on her.
"What— How— It's only been three days," Severus said in shock.
"Her body craves nourishment. She literally hasn't eaten in three days. If we don't get her to eat something tonight, we are going to have to sedate her and force her to ingest some potions for nourishment. She simply can't go on like this. She hasn't even gone to see her baby, though the environment was stable enough for her to go see him yesterday," the Healer explained.
"Can we go see him now?" Severus asked quietly.
"Yes, if you can get her to go, it would do her some good to see her son."
"He's my son, too," Severus growled suddenly. "Not just hers."
The Healer looked taken aback, realizing that he had been referring to the baby as only Hermione's. "I'm sorry, sir. Of course, your baby is in stable condition at the present, and now would be an acceptable time to visit."
"I'll notify you when we are ready," Severus said.
"I have my doubts that she will go," the Healer said.
Severus glared at him menacingly, and the Healer rushed away. Turning back to the dark room, Severus muttered a charm, and the lights flared up.
"Up, Miss Granger," he demanded. "Wake up immediately."
Hermione jumped, startled at the sudden intrusion of lights and his loud voice.
"Severus?" she asked softly.
"Get up," he spat.
"What?" Hermione yawned and rubbed her eyes.
"Get up, now. It is unacceptable that you have been so selfish. Our son may not make it, and you are here wallowing in your own misery." He knew it was a callous thing to say, but he was hoping that he would anger her to the point that she did what he said.
"Me?" she spat, taking his bait. "Me? You haven't been here in three days. You haven't come to see our son. You have been wallowing in misery just as much as I have!"
"Good. You're angry. Now get up. We are going to see our son whether you like it or not." He watched with smug satisfaction as Hermione got up and began savagely brushing her hair.
"I can't believe I ever had a crush on you. You are a cold and callous man, Severus Snape. Then, in my youthful optimism, I get involved in a relationship with you when I got sent back in time, thinking that I can heal your hurts," Hermione snapped.
The comment cut deeply. "You are the reason I am going through all this in the first place. If you had just left me alone, my life would have been a lot easier to bear," Severus replied hatefully.
"Oh, stop saying that, Severus. You are so convinced that everything is someone else's fault. You need to face the fact that you are just as much to blame for how your life turned out as anyone." She turned from the bureau mirror to face him. "Grow up."
Severus started at her, half in shock, half in anger. He should have known that she would attack him if he attacked her. She certainly wasn't a meek person.
"I'll go inform the Healer that we are ready to go see Aiden," he said stiffly. When he arrived back with the Healer, Hermione was perched on the edge of her bed.
"I don't know if I can handle it," she said softly.
"You don't have to go," the Healer started.
"Yes, you do have to go. This is our son, and he needs you. You are his mother. And you are going even if I have to drag you there," Severus said lowly. "You told me to grow up. It's time to take your own advice."
Without a word, Hermione rose from the bed and walked to the door. Taking this as a sign to lead on, the Healer began walking through the halls. Severus noted that Hermione was walking stiffly and slowly. Buried feelings stirred within him, and he uncharacteristically put his arm around her, lending her some support.
They walked in silence for a few moments before stopping in front of a heavily warded door. The Healer turned around and regarded them gravely.
"This room is heavily warded, but your son is the only one within. Things are not going to be exactly as you might envision them. Your son is inside a simulation of a womb. You won't actually be able to see him, as he is encased fully in the womb. He is receiving blood, nutrition, and oxygen, just as if you were still carrying him, Miss Granger. It is a delicate environment, one that can be easily disturbed, causing your son to reject the magical treatment he is receiving. We have already seen once that he is not ready to be on his own, so I caution you to keep your voices down and not to touch anything."
The Healer opened the door and led Severus and Hermione into the room. Severus knew that it was not going to look like anything he had ever seen before, but he was not expecting what met his eyes. His first thought was of an American movie his father had watched when he was a child, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The thought flitted through his mind as he stared at the womb, floating in mid air. It was nearly opaque, and he could see the outline of their son through the material. As he watched, Aiden turned, pushing on the walls of his artificial home, stretching it.
"Is that what he did inside you?" he asked Hermione softly.
"Yes," she whispered. Sitting down in a chair by the door, Hermione burst into tears. "I can't take care of my own baby, Severus! What kind of a mother am I? This is all my fault. If I had told Professor Dumbledore the truth…" Her tears kept her from going on.
Severus knelt down in front of her and grabbed her face in his hands, tilting her head until she looked into his eyes. "Hermione, you are not to blame for everything. We all made mistakes. You, me, and… Dumbledore." He had to force the Headmaster's name out as anger still coursed through him at the callousness of the man.
The Healer stood off to the side, busying himself with some instruments on the counter, trying to remain inconspicuous as the couple exchanged words.
"Severus, I'm so sorry. I never should have gotten involved with you. I shouldn't have done that knowing I was going to have to leave and come back to you as my teacher. I've put us all in danger. I'm sorry I ruined your life," Hermione sobbed.
Severus pulled her against his chest, his arms around her. "You were right when you said it wasn't your fault that I made the choices I did after you left."
Severus was unsure how long they remained in each other's arms in the room with their son. At some point, he had sat down next to her, and she leaned against his side. The Healer cleared his throat, startling them.
"I'm sorry, but it is time for my rounds, and I cannot allow you to remain here alone. Since you are unfamiliar with the working of this magic, it would simply be too dangerous for your son," he said apologetically.
Severus nodded his understanding and stood, offering a helping hand to Hermione. Taking his hand, they looked at the womb holding their son one last time before exiting the room. They walked back to Hermione's room in silence, still hand in hand.
Hermione lay down on her bed, tears brimming in her eyes again. Severus' first instinct was to snap at her, telling her to wipe the tears from her eyes as they were not helping the situation. It was with some difficulty that he bit his tongue. Hermione was suffering from post partum depression. Insults and coldness rolling from his tongue would do her no good. Instead he sat down next to her.
"Hermione," he said softly. "I know Aiden's condition is hard for you to deal with, but you must take care of yourself. When he is ready for his mother, you have to be there for him. I will do my best to help you, but I am different than I was. For him, I will try to change. For you, I will try to change. Because I love our son."
There. He had finally admitted to her that he still cared for her, even if it was in a round about way. Hermione must have understood his meaning, because she sat up and wrapped her arms around him, resting her cheek on his chest. His long stifled emotions coursed through him. It had been a long time since he had allowed himself to care about anything or anyone. A slight rustle caught his attention, and he stood up quickly, looking toward the door.
"Ouch, Ron, that's my foot. Get off," Harry whispered impatiently. The Invisibility Cloak was getting smaller and smaller as they grew, and it was difficult for them both to maneuver unseen under the cloak now, but they had to, since they had snuck off campus. They couldn't risk being seen.
"Well, move your bloody foot, Harry," Ron retorted a bit too loudly.
A passing Healer looked around sharply before shaking her head and continuing on down the hall.
"That was close, Ron. Keep your voice down." Harry didn't bother to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"Well, it's easy for you to say. I just found out my ex-girlfriend had a baby. That means she was shagging someone else during our relationship. How's that supposed to make me feel?" Ron asked bitterly.
Harry didn't reply, not knowing what to say. Even though Ron and Hermione had mutually ended the relationship, Ron was still upset at the thought of Hermione having gone behind his back. Harry had no idea how he felt.
They continued on slowly, in silence, and finally made it to the maternity ward. They were at the front desk for a while, trying to figure out which room Hermione was in. That was a difficult feat to manage with all the Healers scurrying around the desk. They finally got a chance to look at the list of room and quickly made their way to Hermione's.
"There it is," Harry said. "And the door is cracked open."
They crept quietly to the door and peered inside. They exchanged open-mouthed glances as they made out the form of Professor Snape sitting on the edge of Hermione's bed.
"Because I love our son," Snape said.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered, going pale. "Snape?"
Hermione sat up and wrapped her arms around him, causing Ron to grimace. Harry looked at him, mouth still hanging open in shock.
"She picked Snape over me?" he whispered, anger obvious in his voice.
Snape jumped up from the bed, drawing his wand and pointing it directly at them. He jerked the door open and reached out, grasping the air in front of the Invisibility Cloak.
"Severus?" Hermione asked. "Is someone there?"
Snape looked around, glaring, before finally turning back to her and saying, "No."
Harry pulled on Ron's arm, seeing an opportunity to slip into the room while Snape exchanged words with Hermione. They made it in just in time as the door was banged shut. They watched in mute silence as Snape sat down on the edge of the bed again.
"Hermione, I want you to eat regularly. Three square meals a day. And two snacks. You need to regain your energy after giving birth," he said. "I'm going to brew you a specialized potion for your post partum depression. It is not a miracle potion, but it should help. You will take it twice a day with meals."
Hermione nodded as he got to his feet. "Thank you, Severus," she said quietly. "Thank you for making me go see our son."
Snape sighed and leaned down, placing a small kiss on her forehead. He looked deeply into her eyes before turning around and walking out the door.
Hermione stared at the door momentarily before saying, "You can come out now."
Harry and Ron exchanged glances as they pulled the cloak off.
"Your foot was showing as you snuck into the room, Harry," she said softly.
"Snape?" Ron managed top say shrilly. "Snape?"
"Ron, please let me explain," Hermione said urgently.
Ron visibly fought for control as he nodded his head shortly.
Hermione looked thoughtful for a minute before saying, "I was doused with some sort of time potion that Severus made."
"Don't call him that, Hermione," Ron interrupted.
"Severus was working under orders from You-Know-Who," Hermione continued, purposefully using Snape's first name again.
Harry felt Ron stiffen again and shook his head when Ron looked his direction. It would get them nowhere for Ron to snap at Hermione now.
"I ended up nineteen years in the past," Hermione said. "Professor Dumbledore wasn't able to create a return potion for some time, so I went on with my schooling as if I were an American exchange student." She paused for a moment, her face flickering with emotion. "I-I… I got involved in a relationship with Severus when he was seventeen and ended up getting pregnant because we didn't think about contraceptives."
If Harry hadn't been so disgusted, he would have wondered at the fact that his know-it-all friend had been so careless. It was so unlike her not to be fully prepared. He felt his disgust turning to anger as Ron and Hermione began talking.
"Of all the bloody people you could have been with, you fucked Snape?" Ron spat, horrified.
Indignantly, Hermione said, "I didn't fuck anyone. I made love to Severus."
Hermione explained her experiences in more detail, relaying her interactions with Harry's parents. When she reached the end of her tale, after explaining the baby's situation to them, she said, "So, I have a son with Severus. His name is Aiden Kael Snape."
"Why didn't you warn my parents?" Harry blurted angrily. "How could you just leave them to their fates when you could have helped them? They might still be alive if you had warned them!"
"Harry," Hermione said softly. "I couldn't tell them. I already explained that I couldn't let anyone know about the future. If I had meddled, you might never have been born. I couldn't risk that."
"Bitch," Harry shot, scathingly. Turning to Ron, he said, "I'll be in the hall. Knock when you're ready to leave."
"Harry, please," Hermione called. "You have to understand—"
She was cut off as Harry threw the cloak over his head and exited the room.
Ron watched in shock as his best friend called Hermione a bitch and stormed out of the room. He looked at Hermione as she sagged back onto the bed, tiredly.
His initial anger over her choice of Snape faded as he watched her. She looked terrified and exhausted. She had obviously been through a lot in a short period of time.
"Hermione," he said, suddenly filled with compassion. "I'm so sorry. I… I don't know what to say. You and Snape. That's just so… disgusting."
"Do you think I'm a horribly selfish person for not telling Harry's parents?" she asked, looking at him in misery.
"No. You were right not to. Like you said, they may have decided not to have kids. Then Harry would never have been born. That would have changed your future and maybe killed you. You probably wouldn't have been able to tell them even if you had tried to. It would have caused a paradox. Harry just didn't stop and think of that. Give him time. He'll realize you couldn't tell them. I don't know how he will react to you and… and Snape when he thinks about it, but I know him. He loves you like a sister. He'll understand."
Hermione looked at him softly. "Ronald Weasley, you are not as thick as you always pretend to be."
"I've never been stupid, Hermione. Just not as smart as you," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry for the way I have treated you all these years," she said, tears falling down her cheeks. "I love you, Ron. I always will, you know."
"I know," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and placing a hand on her leg.
She sat up and leaned into his arms. He held her tenderly for a long time before saying, "I have to go. We snuck out to come see you. Harry found a letter the hospital sent to Snape. That's how we knew to come see you. Dumbledore only told us your aunt or cousin or someone was sick. If we get caught…"
"Ron, you and Harry are going to get expelled. The N.E.W.T.s are so close. Don't get into any trouble," Hermione said in exasperation.
"Always thinking of the N.E.W.T.s," Ron teased. Growing serious, he said, "I'll talk to Harry. Everything will be okay. He loves you. I love you. You're our best friend."
"I know," she whispered sadly as he dropped a kiss to her cheek and knocked on the door.
As Harry entered, Ron said, "I promise, it will all be okay."
Harry said nothing to Hermione as he and Ron left. When the door closed, she slumped onto her side and cried herself to sleep.
Severus entered his classroom the next morning in a foul mood. He hadn't been sleeping well since Hermione's return, and as a result, he was short tempered.
Not that anyone will notice the difference, he thought sourly.
He snarled his instructions and sat behind his desk, sifting through the mediocre, at best, papers his students had submitted. Nearly groaning aloud, he shoved them to the side, unable to contemplate grading them at the moment.
Glancing up, he scanned his students to make sure no one was doing anything stupider than they normally did. His eyes fell on Potter, whose gaze locked with his. Severus was nearly taken aback by the malice on Potter's face. His eyes narrowed as they glared at one another.
Their staring contest was interrupted as a cauldron began hissing and bubbling dangerously. He hastened to the wobbling cauldron.
"Evanesco. Ten points," Severus spat irritably. "No credit for today's assignment." If his students thought he hated teaching them, they were right. He did hate teaching them.
If only every student was as interested in learning as Hermione Granger, he thought. Then I might actually enjoy my job.
He barked orders for potions samples to be placed on his desk and sat down again. He watched as Potter drew up a sample from his cauldron before banishing the contents. Potter was the last to reach the desk. Eyeing Severus, he placed his vial next to the rest of the samples. Getting a dark look on his face, he reached out and swept all the samples from the desk.
"Oh, Professor, I'm so sorry," he said unconvincingly.
"You little brat," Severus spat lowly. "Fifty points and detention with me tonight at eight o'clock."
"See you then," Potter said flippantly.
Severus watched Potter nearly glide out of the room, wondering what had just happened.
Severus was infuriated as the clock showed five minutes past eight. He got the feeling that Potter was late on purpose. The door finally banged open, and Potter strolled through the door nonchalantly.
"Five points per minute you were late," he ground out.
"There's a surprise," Potter muttered.
"Listen to me, you arrogant boy," Severus sneered, enraged. "If you think that you can talk to me that way—"
"I'll talk to you whatever way I please, Snape," Potter interrupted. "You have Hermione under some kind of enchantment. That's the only way she could ever bear to let you touch her."
Something snapped inside Severus, and before he knew it, he had rounded his desk, summoning Potter's wand into his hand. Grabbing the front of Potter's robes, he slammed him into the stone wall, wand at his throat.
"Do not speak of things you do not understand, boy," he growled, magic coursing through him.