My Fault

Part Two

Chapter 13

Entrapments

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Author's Note: I'm sorry it took so long to update this. I had to play in the badminton championships for school, write a math competition, and then my computer got a virus and wouldn't let me use the Internet. And I hope I didn't use too many adjectives in this. And I won't be able to update until next month. I'm going to Washington (YAY!) and I have final exams (NOOOOOOOO!) Infinite thank yous to kyorocks,beautifulhate, locked-away rainbow, and Hoppy-Chan.

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In an absolutely lightless room, a maddening silence was finally shattered by a voice, frailty and viciousness fused seamlessly together. "You've grown, Kyo." In the inky blackness of the room, a hand reached out and a finger lifted the boy's chin, forcing him to look the figure in the eyes. Eyes like a vacuum, consuming all light, consuming all hope, consuming all will.

"Don't touch me," hissed the boy, drawing back. But he knew that his fear was clearly seen past his mask of disgust.

Akito Sohma narrowed her eyes to slits, and her mouth, which had always been thin, almost completely disappeared. The moments crept by and the boy knew that retribution was looming ahead of him. Then the woman smiled, an expression that would have looked unnatural on her face had it not been filled with hatred. He would have thought himself used to Akito's unpredictable, bizarre, and usually malevolent mood swings, but her expression still sent a chill down his spine.

The boy's eyes glowed eerily in the darkness, reflecting light from a source unknown. Only a few clumps of his unruly mane obscured their peculiar brightness.

Even though he was in his late teen years and an accomplished martial artist, he appeared defenseless and small in the room. The room that the Sohmas referred to as the "Room of Darkness." Though they called it this jokingly, they all knew that there was nothing remotely humorous about the place. It was a room where all life seemed to have been sucked out. It served as a reminder of the shackles that bound all the Sohmas to Akito, and to the fate to which all living things were bound: death. They all knew that in the end, they would all come back to her, unwilling though they may be.

"I see your time in the mountains has done nothing for your disgusting manners. Nor, I would suspect, much for you martial arts skills."

The boy clenched his fists, fighting against every fiber of his being, not to scream "Shut up!" He was headstrong, not stupid, and he had to admit that there was no way he could go unpunished for talking like that to the head of the Sohma family. Instead he muttered, "That's not true."

"But you know it is. None of us can fight our fate, and the simple fact is: some of us are simply greater than others. You are the cat: a monster. A monster who killed his own mother and can never hope to be anything other than a cursed demon."

"Don't say that. I don't believe in that fate, it's not true! I'll crush that fate and prove it to you!" The boy's eyes were wild and filled with hatred and sorrow as the memories came surging back into him. She's gone…

"You know your destiny Kyo. It's all you'll ever know in life. But perhaps your curiosity deserves a reward. I'll make a deal with you."

"Yeah?" inquired the teen, impatient and knowing he wasn't going to like the "reward."

"If you can beat the rat, I'll let you avoid confinement. I'll even let you become a Zodiac Member. Because you can't win." She laughed, a cruel and terrible sound ringing out.

"Deal! I will beat the rat!"

The world fades out of existence, nausea seeming to take over.

…

I wake up to find myself… jeez, where am I anyway? I stretch my neck, which is sore from the awkward position. I don't even remember falling asleep. I haven't been getting much sleep lately; I guess the fatigue is catching up to me.

This is definitely Shigure's house, and the pile of martial arts books tells me that it must be my room. I sit up on the hard floor. Definitely my room, I guess it just took me a while to recognize because of the weird angle.

Crap, I was supposed to fight Yuki today! Come to think of it, that might have been yesterday. Damn, I better not be too late. Light is streaming in through the window, and it looks like either evening or early morning. I can't see the sun because it's behind a copse of trees, making them black framed with red. But I really don't have any time to "marvel at the wonders of nature."

My heart starts to beat really fast as it dawns on me that if I slept too late my fate could already be decided. Turning the face of my alarm clock toward me, the numbers 6:33 and a flashing red dot come into view. A wave of relief washes over me as I realize I still have time. I only got home from school at 3:30, so I couldn't have slept longer than three hours. Hopefully this will work in my favor and give me a bit more energy for the upcoming battle.

I pull myself to my feet, feeling sore all over. I guess that disproves my theory. Why did I have to fall asleep on the floor? I was right beside my bed. I'm still feeling really disoriented, and there's a surreal feeling that won't go away. I guess it's because I can't remember falling asleep, much less anything else that happened today.

I try to recall the events of earlier today, and eventually they start to come back to me. Shigure told me I was going to be imprisoned, and I told him I wanted to fight Yuki. He agreed. It was really weird, he just agreed without so much as a snide remark or stupid joke. I went to my room to quickly look up any moves that could be useful in the fight, more to calm myself down than to learn anything as I've already memorized the skills in most of the books. I must have fallen asleep right then. Man, when all this is done I can probably go back to sleeping at night.

I haven't challenged Yuki yet, so I leave the room to search for him. I find him quickly enough; he's in the living room with Tohru and Arisa, he and Tohru studying, Arisa reading one of my manga, once again. She raises her eyes from the page, saying "Yo," by way of greeting.

"Hey," I say.

Yuki's ignoring me for his science textbook, but Tohru quickly greets me. "Hi Kyo-kun!" she says cheerfully, "Where were you?"

"Asleep."

"Eh? But it's the middle of the day!"

"I was tired, I'll sleep when I want."

"I meant no offence, of course," she says in a small voice.

I roll my eyes and say, careful to not sound angry at all, " Look, not everything you do is offensive. Chill out."

Yuki, his eyes still fixed on the textbook says, " Yes Honda-san. There is no need to waste your apologies on Kyo here."

Can he not go one second without insulting me? "Hey rat, I came here to talk to you," I say.

"Oh really?" he asks, finally looking up from his book, seeming mildly interested.

"I'm here to challenge you to one final fight." I feel some pride at how calmly I was able to say that. His attitude already has my blood boiling, but as his eyes widen in surprise at my challenge, it's almost like our roles change. Maybe I'm getting the hand at this manipulation thing: I guess I have my Sohma ancestry to thank for that. He's usually the emotionless one, which is probably why he always has the upper hand. Now I'm the one who seems to be in control, even though that's just an illusion. In reality I have no clue why I'm not in a state of total panic.

"I accept your challenge," he says, regaining his icy demeanor. I find our roles reversed once again, back to our regular ones. I'm left wondering why he just agreed to it without so much as uttering a "Baka neko." I wish it were because he's finally taking me seriously, considering me a worthy opponent, but I know that's not the reason. His attitude doesn't let him think he has equals.

And the worst thing about it is that he's actually strong. If he was just an egomaniac I could at least pound the crap out of him and teach him a lesson, but he's actually skilled. He's one of those people that do everything perfectly without even making an effort, and even though I hate him I can't deny that he's got a right to be proud.

So I guess that means the only reason that he's letting me off without an insult is because he's trying to play mind games with me, get me lost in thought so I lose. Or maybe he's taking pity on me. He doesn't know about me being imprisoned, unless Shigure or Akito told him without my permission. I guess my words "final fight" made him realize that this is important, or he thinks I'm desperate. But I'll prove I don't need his pity. I have to win this, remember everything I was taught so that I can win this. I have to honor Shishou by showing him that his training had a purpose.

"Where do you want to fight?" I ask, grinning mainly to calm myself down, as well as in an act of defiance towards Yuki.

"Your choice," he says politely.

I only need a second to think about it before the perfect place comes to mind. " The roof," I reply. I know it sounds strange, but it makes sense to me. I spend a lot of time there, and I do a lot of my training there, so I have the home advantage. Yuki doesn't go up there, so he wouldn't know all the footholds and most balanced places to stand. Also, there's an element of danger that hopefully would affect someone who didn't go there often.

He's obviously surprised by my choice, but after a moment he nods. "Hmm. I shall see you in battle," Yuki says respectfully as he exits the room.

I notice that Arisa has been watching the exchange with interest. "What do you mean you're going to fight on the roof? You mean you're both just going to hit each other or is this some weird family custom?"

"More like the second one," I say.

…

I'm standing on the roof across from Yuki. Our shoes and socks are on the ground below us, along with the spectators: Shigure, Tohru, and Arisa.

'Woot! Go Kyo!" says Arisa, half-joking. It's good she doesn't realize how serious this is. If I lose, I don't know what I'll do without her. It would be so ironic, to have finally found a real reason for living only to be taken away from her a few weeks later. But I don't want to think about that now. If I obsess over losing it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's best I concentrate on the present, try my hardest, and don't give up.

"Bow to your opponent," Shigure calls, loudly from below the house. As I lower my head a strange calm overcomes me, a feeling I'm used to whenever there's a battle. I'm hyperaware, I can feel the ripples on the tiles under my bare feet, can feel the wind blowing through my hair and clothes. It's kind of cold, but once we start moving the wind will feel refreshing.

We circle eachother, neither ready to launch the first attack. We're a good distance away, so the attacker will have to charge or dive and attack. I know I'm expected to attack first, typically being the more impulsive of the two of us. That's why I wait, attempting to confuse my opponent. An unknown amount of time passes. When I'm in a fight I'm both extremely aware and completely blind to my surroundings. I guess, simply put, I only notice things that are relevant to the outcome of the duel.

I notice a slight moment of Yuki's foot, a step backwards of one foot and the readying of the other as though to lunge. I dodge back to see how he will react, just for a moment, and when he seems startled, I launch my attack.

I send a kick aimed at chest-height towards him. It connects, but only lightly as he immediately dodges back. I rapidly pull my foot back, the shift in balance causing my long belt to whip around. Before I have time to think, Yuki charges at me, rushing close before sending a low kick.

I leap back, landing more than slightly off-balance. The rat, seeing a weakness, attacks again, and before I can block I'm hit by three punches to the chest. A stinging sensation bursts inside me, and my vision starts to become clouded by drifting multicolored specks, quickly covering everything in sight. I'm only aware of my own thoughts and the weird painful feeling.

Knowing that I'm about to pass out or go momentarily blind, I squint a bit and my eyesight returns, first a little blurry and dark, then I force myself to blink rapidly, clearing my sight. The first thing I see is Yuki, standing across from me, posed to strike or defend, but a look of concern on his face.

"You all right?" he asks, offhandedly.

"Why the hell wouldn't I be?" I snap. Actually, I'm probably not all right, as his attack seems to have screwed up something inside me and I feel like I'm going to throw up. But what's really bothering me is that rat looking down on me. If I can't win by sheer force, I'll win by endurance. I won't stop fighting until I'm paralyzed with exhaustion. Sure, it will probably feel like hell, but it beats being locked up. At least it's brief.

Kyo, you can still win this, says Shishou. I turn my head to see where the voice came from, but Shishou isn't here. I must have jus imagined it, but it seemed really clear…

But that doesn't change the fact that that's what he would say. I charge at Yuki, who's caught by surprise. Another high kick sends him back a few feet when it connects with him. Suddenly he jumps into the air, doing a forward flip, as though he's using the force from my kick to propel himself up into the air by some strange exploitation of gravity. He seems to be hanging suspended in the air for a moment, before touching down on the roof with his fingertips, drawing his hands back, and landing agilely on his feet.

I realize that my mouth was hanging open slightly, probably in shock at the impressive move. I quickly come back to my senses and regain my concentration, but not before Yuki takes advantage of my distraction. Our eyes meet for a moment, and with a look of... smugness? He positions himself to attack.

I can tell that he's counting on this being his finishing move. And I know what move it's going to be. For a second, time seems to freeze, and his kick, the same type I had used only moments before, hits me.

My feet seem to float off the shingles, like the sky is pulling me into the air by my stomach. I go flying, quite literally, completely powerless into the air. I'm not afraid, or even surprised. Not a single thought or emotion goes through my head, just dim realization of what's happening - and not caring.

Then it's just over. I start falling back down, I know it's fast but it feels endless. I land on my feet, the semi-coarse shingles feeling cold and rough all of a sudden. I don't have to look back to realize I'm near the edge of the roof, a few feet back and I would have definitely fallen off. Call it instinct, or maybe just knowing these surroundings.

I notice for the first time that the sky is a dark navy blue and a few stars have started to appear. We must have been fighting for two hours, at least.

I wonder if anyone is still watching? I start to turn around, but before I can complete the motion, the ground crumbles, falling away beneath me. With the same feeling I had when I was flying, I begin to sink.

Hey, I think I just heard someone call my name.

Where am I? What's going on? Realizing that everything's dark, I open my eyes. It takes a surprising amount of effort to do so. Something is definitely wrong. I'm an early riser, and I can usually train myself to open my eyes, even when I'm nearly paralyzed with exhaustion. I seem to be splayed out on the ground.

The next sign that something isn't right comes when I finally manage to open my eyes. I'm still outside, the sky is dark, some filmy thing seems to be covering me, and some blurred forms that must be people are standing all around me. But I can only notice that stuff for a second, because after being semi-conscious for another second, a searing pain starts to sweep through me. It's too intense for me to focus on where it's coming from.

I think I make some noise in shock, and I shut my eyes tightly in a pathetically vain attempt to try to bring back whatever force field had been protecting me when they were closed before. But it doesn't work, and an odd and horrible sensation takes over me. I drift in and out of consciousness like this for a while.

I'm sure I could remember what happened. I just don't want to think right now. Maybe I'm dying. If that's the case, I wish I'd just get it over with and stop wasting time suffering. And if I'm not dying, why can't someone go get some damn medication so I can pass out until the pain's finally gone?

But it's painfully obvious nobody's going to. Ha ha. Painfully obvious. I feel like laughing, but I can't seem to find the energy to open my mouth. Instead I start shaking uncontrollably, which only seems to make the pain worse, but since it's uncontrollable there's really nothing I can do about it, is there?

"I think he's having a seizure! Oh! Shigure-san! Hatori-san!" A girl's voice. It's high pitch sound makes me wince. Can't she see I've got a headache?

"Coming, Honda-san," says a deep male voice.

"I'm not having a seizure! What's going on, anyway?" I snap. My own voice surprises me, partly because I hadn't planned to say anything, partly because of how faint it sounds. Oh god, someone please tell me what's wrong with me.

I issue a rapid string of obscenities, not caring who's around. All I want are some answers and for everyone to stop talking as though I'm not there.

"Oh good, he's back!" says another male voice, this one a little higher pitched.

That must be Shigure. The girl sounds like Tohru, and the other guy has to be Hatori. Why's he here? Oh yeah, because I just fell off the roof and can't move.

I force my eyes to open quickly and widely. I see the same figures I saw when I first opened them, but more clearly this time. Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, and Hatori.

"Hey, where's Arisa?" I ask, a degree of suspicion in my voice that surprises even me.

"Ah, young love," says Shigure.

"Shut up! It's not like that!" I respond angrily. Well, actually it is, but I can't admit that. And Shigure always acting like he knows everything is one of the most annoying things I've ever been forced by Akito to experience.

"I made her go inside. She shouldn't be under stress now, it could have a negative effect on her grieving process," Turning to Shigure, Hatori adds, "Don't say that Shigure. Especially not... not now."

"What do your mean not now?" I exclaim, confused and angry. Why will no one tell me what's going on?

I sit up suddenly, the blanket on top of me falling to the grassy ground. I look over myself quickly. There are a few small cuts, and as bandage wrapped around one of my arms. I really wish that I could see how bad it was, but it's actually probably better that I don't. I really don't want to go into panic again.

"Kyo, you've just fallen off the roof. You broke your left arm and one of your ribs. I'm just making sure that there's no permanent damage to your spinal cord.

"No, that's not it! There's something more. What aren't you telling me?" I'm not being paranoid. I can tell from his awkwardness that he's hiding something. Hatori's always been a bad liar, and even me, with my limited people skills, can see through him.

"Kyo... you lost." Hatori's voice, even more somber than usual, shatters the mental block that had been keeping me from recalling what had happened and what it meant. An insane rush of every possible feeling, accompanied by vivid, broken images of the battle, starts to run through my head.

"But he's lost lots of fights before. Why is this time such a big deal?" asks a very confused Yuki.

"Tohru-kun, Kyo seems to be fine. Why don't you go inside?" says Shigure politely. Tohru, oblivious as always, doesn't realize that Shigure's trying to get red of her.

"Er, okay. Are you sure you're all right, Kyo-kun?"

"Yeah, I'm just great."

As she goes back into the house, Yuki asks his question again, as though he thinks we didn't hear. "Why is this different?"

"I don't think-"

"It's fine, I'll tell him," I interrupt Shigure

"Tell me what?" asks Yuki. He's looking from face to face, but neither Hatori nor Shigure will meet his gaze. When his eyes return to me, I look straight into them, and I can tell he's a little unnerved.

"Akito and I made a bet. If I could beat you in a fight, I'd get to become one of the zodiac. If I lost, I'd be imprisoned for the rest of my life." It seems strange even to me the lack of emotion in my voice. It's just calm and steady.

He seems shocked by my words, which gives me an odd feeling of pride. Maybe for once I have more self-control than Yuki. "No, no Kyo! There's still time, isn't there? And that wasn't fair; the roof broke in the middle of it! We can have a rematch, can't we?" I've never seen him this frantic, even when we were little. His eyes are wide, his words are stumbling over each other, and he's glancing anxiously from face to face. It serves him right; to finally be feeling a little guilt after all he put me through. I'm actually enjoying watching this.

"No, Yuki," says Shigure quietly, "Today was the last day before Akito's offer expired."

"And I'm afraid that as a physician I cannot allow Kyo to fight. If he goes through any more physical strain before he's healed, then his ribs won't heal properly. I'm taking him immediately to the hospital for an X-ray to check how severe the break in his arm is"

" Yeah, Yuki. It's over," I add. This could be one of the most unusual experiences I've ever had in my life. Shigure, Hatori, and Yuki are all offering me their pity but I'm telling them I don't want or need it. I know my lack of reaction is probably getting on their nerves, but no one will dare say anything now that I've lost it all.

"Come on, Hatori. Can you drive me to the hospital?" I say casually.

I walk towards Hatori's car, he following silently.

You know what they mean when they say it feels like someone's eyes are burning into your back? I don't, I've never felt anything like that. But I do know that right now, Yuki is watching, completely powerless, as I walk away.