Chapter 13: Home

Home. What really is the definition of a home? People say that it's where the heart is, but your heart often travels, sometimes it even gets lost in all the different rooms in a house and it gets walked over and buried under all the crap that we put in a house to make ourselves feel at home. Steve Rogers felt like his home was long gone and frozen. Everyone he ever loved were dead and throughout those seventy years trapped in ice, he felt like a piece of him had died too. He always felt out of place wherever he went. There were touch screen cell phones, mini laptops and so much more advanced technology the size of your hand. It wasn't just that, it was the people too. They were so much more carefree, stupid almost. Putting everything out there, like they had nothing to lose, when in reality they did. Living lives so far from the ones that they worked to get. Things weren't black and white anymore, they were millions of colors and it was so hard to focus on just one.

That's what made him connect to Natasha so well. They were both two people out of place, but still fighting for the same purpose. Life hadn't been too kind to the both of them, but they still managed to make it out okay. Sure they suffered a few scrapes and bruises but on the outside they looked fine. That was another differences between the 40s and the 21st century. Everyone is so judgmental in a time when everything is based plainly off of looks and perceptions instead of what's inside. Because when it came down too it they were both damaged on the inside, a piece was missing from both of them, but when he thought of Natasha, thought of his future, he could picture her being in it and that made him feel a little less empty, and a little more whole.

People spend their whole life looking for a place to call home when in reality no one truly ever has one. Sure most people live in a house no matter the size but still feel lost. That's because your heart itself is the home, providing you not with the shelter to stop the rain from getting on you but to keep you warm, not with a heater, but with love, the small feeling of mattering to someone else. That frail feeling that makes you feel so important.

That's why he felt so guilty right now. Him caring about Natasha got her to almost remember who she really was, who he was, which was probably going to get her killed. Even if she didn't get killed, he knew that they were going to keep trying to erase her memories until she had nothing left. Memories are really just stories in your head, but they help you figure out who you are and without them is like starting from scratch. You have nothing to hold onto, nothing to think back to and nothing to remember except the fake ones they replace in your head. Was it worse to have bad memories, or none at all, he didn't know, but all he knew for sure was that he wanted to make more memories with Natasha, whether they be bad or good, because at least he'd have her to make them with.

When he looked at Natasha laying back on that table, being poked and prodded with god know what, and injected with needle after needle of poison and drugs. He made a decision that no matter what, he was not leaving this place alive without her. He didn't think he could stand loosing someone else important. He couldn't stand not seeing her mouth twitch just a tad whenever Tony told a stupid joke, or the way she never looked at Bruce as the Hulk, just as Bruce, and even the way she would slap Clint in the arm when he went too easy on her in the gym. The point was, he couldn't live without her, so he was going to do whatever it took to get them both out of here and then he would worry about picking up the pieces later. Steve Rogers deserved a home and without her he might as well be homeless.