13th Challenge: Ink upon Parchment
Category: Gen (Canon AU)
Character\Pairing: Merlin to Arthur
Rating\Warning: K+
Word count: 300
Summary: A letter to Arthur from Merlin – before 5X13.
Dear Arthur,
I can't think of anything worse than lying. One lie begets another and then another until your life's nothing what it seems. You wouldn't know, though. Would you? I don't remember you telling a major lie, like I have had to do for years. Don't start. Once you begin, the cycle will never end.
Honesty was something I strove for. In Ealdor, I didn't have to hide. I could say and do as I pleased – to a reasonable extent. It was a much less stressful life.
However, once I came to Camelot things changed. I have been lying since I came to Camelot. You don't know the real me. You don't know what I have done. It was a matter of life or death that I kept the truth from you. I didn't want to lose my head.
Some of my choices, while meant to protect Camelot and you, have been questionable. Sometimes, I wonder at the morality of my choices. I wonder if I have taken the right path. I've had to kill and maim. I don't like it. But, it was either them or you. I will always choose you over them.
I doubt you will ever know all of the real me. I do not think you'll know all I have done and all I have sacrificed. That is okay. I do not act for glory, for fame, or even recognition. Your life and you living is all I need in repentance.
Someday, I hope I can reveal the true me to you. Right now I do not think you are ready. I do trust you with all my heart and soul. I would never do anything to bring harm to you. Please, remember that when it all comes to a head.
Your friend,
Merlin