Chapter 11 : Shinichi
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i. She couldn't play piano anymore.
I had known her for long time. It was easy to see how much she loved piano, ah no, how much she needed piano.
I sat there on one of the hospital park's bench, smoking a cigarette, something I hadn't done since I married her. There had been that one time where she had tried to smoke my cigarette, that had been why I decided to stop smoking at all. Today, I had to smoke.
After what I'd heard today, I wasn't sure how to react in front of her. She had been trying, yeah I couldn't believe that was not a merely acting, to make me believe that she had been okay.
She told me not to worry but how could I? She was my wife. I loved her. Now, she had been hurt, and all because of me.
I looked at the sky. I wished I had never met her. If I hadn't met her, she would be happier. She would continue living her colorful life, she would still play piano.
But if I hadn't met her, what would become of me?
She had been the reason why I was here. She had been the reason of my dream came true. It was unfair. I got all that I wanted and she lost all.
It was unfair...
I was happy all by myself. I had hurt her selfishly.
I had...
I swallowed.
I had to let go...
ii. I had called Mine this morning and he said he could take care of her.
I already told him what happened and he agreed that for the mean time it would be better if she came back to Japan, away from the press. At least she wasn't as famous in Japan. There, she could do some rehabilitation surrounded by her friends...
It would be the best for her.
Mine asked if I would come back to Japan as well, I told him I couldn't. I told him that I had works to do. I lied of course... I... Had another plan.
I sighed.
This wasn't easy.
iii. What had happened that day would haunt me for the rest of my life. I knew it for sure. I would never be able to forgive myself.
The blood, the siren, her...
I closed my eyes trying to get rid of my headache. What had I done? I should have known, motorbike wasn't a safe transportation...
I had been too excited. I was... I just... I had just wanted to take her for a ride with my new bike... I never thought we would...
iv. I tried not to think about that day anymore.
Driving a car with this kind of feeling was dangerous. I knew it.
I had no time to regret what had happened in the past. Today I woke up with a decision that I would set thing right with her. No matter what. I would do anything to get her back.
I had called Rui this morning. She didn't sound too surprised or angry. She said that she had expected thing like this to happen since the day we agreed to pretend to be couple.
'Took you long enough,' she has been laughing while saying that, 'it would be a pain to explain to the press about the anullment but I guess in the end it'll be back to normal again.'
Actually I felt bad. I, however, did want to help her.
'Sorry...'
'Oh, no need...' She laughed again, 'I can't really marry you, can I? Well I do a little bit worry though about the media reaction toward this news, I mean, if they found out that you're actually married and have a son...'
I massaged my temples with one hand. I actually had thought about that too. I actually didn't want the press to write about my family.
'I know,' I sighed, 'I don't care what they would write about me, I am Steresseman's pupil and Masayuki Chiaki's son afterall... I just didn't want them to write about my wife and son.'
'Hm,' Rui thought for a moment, 'I will try to find a way, don't worry. Right now, you can just focus on your family.'
I didn't know how she would manage this but I was actually relieved that she wasn't upset or anything at me.
'Xie xie, Rui...*' I said, smiling a little.
Again she laughed, 'No problem. Jia you, Shinichi!*'
v. I parked the car on the parking area not far from the chinese restaurant.
I walked to the restaurant while sighed heavily. Soon I would see her again, I knew it wouldn't be easy to make her agree to come back with me to French. I, however, would use any way to make her agree. I knew she wouldn't want to lose her son. It was low, I knew it, but I didn't care.
Maybe after this she would hate me.
Ah, maybe she had already hated me.
Afterall, she had all the right to hate me.
In front of the shop, I saw a tall man leaning on the wall, smoking his cigarrete. His bright blond hair stood out. He saw me but he said nothing.
When I was only a foot away from him, ready to open the door he stopped me.
"She's inside."
I scowled, "I know."
"She's not alone you know."
I looked at him. I said nothing but urged him to continue with my eyes.
He sighed.
He dropped his ciggarete and stepped on it. I waited not too patiently. Though I could guess what was it all about.
"Shinji is inside with her."
vi. I entered the restaurant, tried to hide my nervous feeling.
I didn't need her to know that I was nervous to see my own son. No, it wasn't only nervous, I was excited though at the very same time, I was scared.
Why did she bring him with her? Could it be she had told him that I was his father? How would he react? How should I react?
I had never been a father before. This was something new to me, and today I was going to have lunch with my son. After seven years! How if... What if he hated me? I hated my father, how if he hated me just like how I always hated my own father?
Maybe this was a karma? Because I had always hated my father, now my own son hated me too...
No, I didn't know about it yet. He was just seven years old. Maybe he didn't even understand about the situation right now.
vii. There they were sitting.
She didn't realize I was standing there at first. She was smiling, listening to whatever the kid, our son, was telling her.
The kid, Shinji, was sitting next to her. An empty glasses of something look like milkshake was on the table in front of him. He was trying to explain something to his mother. She moved his hands excitedly while telling her his story about whatever it is.
The view in front of me were taking my breathe a way. My wife and my son. My family!
He was the first one recognized me. Maybe he heard Mine-san greeted me, or maybe he just felt being watched by me. For a second or two, our eyes met. Shyly, he pulled on her sleeve to tell her that I'd been there the whole time, watching them.
Actually I still wanted to stand there just watching them, two most important people in my life, but it was time to get back to the reality. I tried to act casually as I walked to their table.
She lost her smile as soon as she saw me. She didn't say anything, she didn't even greet me.
The little boy however, bowed shyly, "Good afternoon..."
I couldn't help but to smile at the handsome kid, "Good afternoon."
"You're late," she said quickly, avoiding my eyes.
I looked at my watch and frowned, "I still have 10 minutes before our appointment time."
"But I was here before you, therefore you're late."
She was being difficult right after she saw me.
I sighed. I didn't want to argue here.
"Let's go, then."
She looked at me, confused, "Where to?"
"We're going to have some lunch," I turned to see the old man who was busy cooking for the customers, "Mine-san, I am sorry but we don't have lunch here today, it's okay, right?"
The old man make and 'OK' sign with one hand.
"But..."
I ignored her and lowered my body to the same level to the kid, "So, what do you want to eat for lunch?"
He looked at her mother to see her reaction but she didn't say anything. He looked at me with his onyx eyes. I smiled at him.
"Can I have hamburger?"
I stood up and ruffled his hair, "Why not? Let's go..."
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TBC
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*xie xie, Rui : thanks Rui
*jia you : do your best!
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Author's Note:
I come back. I decided to continue this after seeing your supports. I will try to ignore the discouragements and continue this fanfic.
I really thank you for the reviews you have kindly left for me.
See you in the next chapter.