Hi there my dear readers!
Sorry for being so mean,
I know that probably half of you wants
to murder me for putting the revealing of
Allen's past into this chapter, not the one before ^^"...
please forgive me!
Haaah...i really hope the chapter is good written,
because somehow I have this feeling that its written really bad..T.T
and I also somehow think, there aren't as many reviews as there had been before...
please don't leave me and my story, your reviews mean so much to me 0.0
I better start the story now...
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own D:gray-man or any characters, otherwise I would force Allen to be Kandas slave for a week and sending me video tapes with Kanda screwing him...*drooling*
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"I will tell you about it...
I was abandoned when I was small because of my deformed arm and had to live on the streets at the age of five...
I was already used to search for the rest of foods in buckets,
being chased by men or boys who liked to throw stones after me or just wanting to beat me up until I couldn't move anymore, being abused,
called a mistake of nature, a bastard, dirty thief, things like that...
Then that day came when everything changed, I was picked up by him,
the one who changed my world...Mana and his older brother.
They took me to their home, me, a dirty street child, I had finally someone who wanted to help me, who cared for me...i was happy, of course.
Finally having a home, which I didn't dared to dream when I had been on the streets.
But this illusion only lasted five years, five happy years in which I forgot that my parents didn't cared if I was dead or not, until I finally discovered the truth.
Everything they had done for me, it had been all a lie!
They had kept me like a pet, something you play with and feed until
you slaughter it when its fat enough!
All they wanted was to eat my soul!
That was when i saw that they weren't humans...they were demons, destroying the dream I had.
Right before they could eat me, they suddenly started to fight, who would devour me...
it ended with the house being destroyed, they killed each other while I managed to get off the chains they put on me.
Manas older brother was already dead, but Mana himself still lived, being half buried under parts of the house.
He told me about the scar I had...
It was a curse they had put on me while I had been sleeping,
putting wrong memories of a fall in me,
telling me I hurt myself the day before...
And I, as stupid as I had been that time, believed everything.
On that day I was told about the truth behind the alleged scar:
I will die on the night of my eighteenth birthday...".
Suddenly a cruel smirk crossed the hunters features, his eyes shone coldly:
"I never told you what my birth date is, right? Its today.
This is the night of my death, and nothing will save me."
Deathly silence came, for a minute nobody was able to speak.
"No...", Lavi whispered, "That can't be!"
Allen only shrugged, not caring about the shock in their faces:
"Though I don't know why Mana told me about the curse...to make sure the rest of my life would be like hell? I don't know..."
His face seemed calm, but behind the mask the emotions were boiling,
it wouldn't need much more to let them explode.
"Moyashi"; Kanda said carefully, "Do you know why your stepfather,
why Mana told you about the curse? Do you know it?
I don't think it was because he wanted to make your life worse, but because he wished you would try to live your life as good as possible, and to find a way to break that curse-"
"Shut up!", Allen screamed, pulling out his second blade, ready to attack him.
Ignoring his warning and the blade pointed at him, Kanda continued mercilessly:
"If Mana really would have want to kill you and eat your soul,
he could have still managed to get you, despite his heavy wounds.
Eating a humans soul would have healed every wound on his body within seconds.
Do you know how demons become immortal?
Either they find their soul mate,
or they sacrifice a pure soul in a ritual which is even forbidden within us demons,
because you can lose your mind and become a bloodthirsty monster,
unable to think normal anymore.
Mana could have survived if he had eaten you, though the ritual failed.
He could have saved his own life, but he didn't.
Do you really think they fought about who would get your soul?
I think Mana didn't wanted you to die...because he loved you. He loved you,
the human child you were, and didn't wanted to to take your life.
He saved your life and sacrificed his own!
He told you about the curse because he wanted to make sure you'll live happy and free until the time comes, not being stuck in the past! All because he loved you, the abandoned little child!
He loved you and you don't want to see it because of your stupid thoughts about being betrayed!
You are running away from that fact because its more convenient?
Open your fucking eyes and see the damn truth, Moyashi!"
"Shut up, you bastard!", Allen screamed, now completely out of control,
"What do you even know? Nothing! Its not true what you said,
not even a single word! So shut up!"
"You should shut up and listen to me, you fucking stubborn idiot!", Kanda hissed back, tightening his fists,
"Search in your memories, what are they showing you? Its all just covered by your stupid feelings!
Wipe them aside and see the truth! Try to look in your heart, see it!
He loved you, you can't deny it!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!"
With desperate, angry scream Allen stormed forward, both blades blinking in the moon light.
"No!" Lavi yelled in shock, trying to jump into Allen's path and block him,
but again in this night he was pushed aside.
"Stop it", Kanda said sharply, "He is my soul mate, I have to deal with it by myself".
In the next moment two blades pierced through him, throwing him on the roof by the impact,
he quickly rolled himself away and jumped back on his feet, ready for the next attack
the silver eyed hunter, who was now in a emotional rampage, would make.
But instead of dodging it, he let himself getting stabbed again,
opening his arms and pulling the mentally lost young man into a tight embrace.
"Let me go! Let me go, you disgusting bastard! Stop touching me with your dirty claws!",
Allen screamed, swinging his weapons down, stabbing through the demons back,
who refused to let go.
Again. And again.
Kanda coughed hard, spilling blood over himself and the white haired,
his body twisted in pain of being pierced countless times, but he had to endure it.
Every time he felt the blades breaking through his skin, he pulled the resisting hunter closer.
He would not let go, for the sake of Allen's soul.
He would be devoured by the bottomless depths of his hate if he hadn't told him the truth,
the truth the pain filled boy tried to deny so hard.
"Its not true, its not true!", the white haired cried desperately, continuing his useless attacks,
not wanting to admit the truth.
But slowly, after what seemed like eternity, his screams got quite and his attacks weaker,
until he hung exhausted in the demos arms,
drained out of mental and physical energy through his fighting and screaming.
"Its not true, its not true...", he whispered, like a mantra, trying to keep everything
on distance, not wanting to hear anything.
"Moyashi", Kanda sighed softly,
wining slightly at the pain of some wounds which weren't healed yet ,
"Stop lying and hurting yourself, its true.
Do you really want to continue living in that cage of bitter hate you built yourself?
Try to let go of this wrong feelings and see the truth, so you can live in peace, without being bound to the past forever."
Allen lifted his face, pure desperate in his eyes:
"Why? Why are you telling me this? You are a demon! All you did until now was hurting me, like I was hurt in the past!".
Kanda growled deeply, his blue eyes closed for a moment before opening again, and, almost invisible, his cheeks took on the color of a pale pink, embarrassed:
"You want to why? That's simple to answer. Because I love you."
The white haireds silver eyes widened, his mouth opened in total disbelieve.
"Th-that's impossible! You can't love me! A demon would never love a human, never ever!
On top of that I'm a boy! So stop telling me lies!"
Again he struggled to escape Kandas steel like grip, but the demon only hold him closer,
and said, snorting slightly:
"So? The gender doesn't matter to us demons.
You have to know, demons are born with an incomplete soul,
so most of us search for their soul mate- the one who is the missing half of their soul.
No matter who it is, when they find them and complete the bond with them, they become immortal,
as well their partners.
Most demons feel it when their soul mate is in the area, also by smell.
For me, your smell was simply overwhelming, making me blind to anything else."
Allen trembled, not wanting to believe everything:
"That just can't be! You don't love me and you never will! Mana never loved me,too!"
Kanda snarled in annoyance:"Stop denying it, Moyashi! He loved you, more then anything else!
Why do you keep on lying to yourself? Mana surely wouldn't have wanted you to live like this!"
Allen jerked back, hit by these words.
His lips trembled, choking on his own words he said quite:
"But it can't be true...it just can't be..."
The memory of Mana appeared in his mind, who was laying on the dirty ground, in the background the destroyed, burning house, parts of it shattered at the whole place,
Mana was bleeding from several deep wounds, blood running out of his mouth, his eyes slowly getting glassy, how he had softly said: " I love you Allen...please forgive me...",
then closing his eyes, the last breath leaving his burned lips.
This was too much for Allen, his mask finally broke, scattering into thousands of pieces,
with a desperate cry he finally broke down, sobbing and crying into Kandas shoulder,
the only hold he had now.
Gently the demon stroke through Allen's soft locks, whispering into his ear:
"Sshh, its alright, Moyashi. Its alright."
Ahem...
well..i definitely don't know what to say,
because this chapter is just so...
uugh, I don't know how to describe it!
this chapter seems so terrible bad written T.T
I think I am going into my corner
and start to discuss with Miku why I think that...
sitting-in-desperation-in-a-corner-while-ripping-out-her-hair-author,
Kamo-chan
PS: and although I think its crappy, I still want to know what you think -_-"
REVIEWS PLEASE!