Rating: M

A/N: soo ffn's being gay and erased all of the lines I had as separators for scenes for all of my fics… don't yell at me for it please. Just hope they fix it, cos I'm not gonna cos it'd be a colossal pain in the ass.

I'll be using a substitute from now on.

Bitter

Chapter 13

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There was a soft knock on the door and Roxas looked up.

"Roxas? The pizza's here," the red-head called. The blond didn't reply and the red-head knocked louder, calling out to the other boy for a second time. Roxas sighed, getting up and walking to the door. Just when he was about to open it, the older boy did, smacking Roxas in the face in the process. "Oh God! I'm so sorry!"

Hesitantly, the blond opened his eyes, though his head was pounding, as Axel rushed toward him. The red-head grimaced. "Shit, you're bleeding." Roxas' eyes widened and he reached up, feeling the warm, sticky liquid running down his face from his nose. He stared at the crimson staining his hand, horrified. Axel reached out to touch him and Roxas scrambled backward.

"Get out," he whispered, eyes welling up with tears.

"No, you're hurt. I want to help you!"

Some blood dripped onto the floor and Axel reached over, grabbing some toilet paper, going to clean it up but Roxas stopped him. "Don't touch it, don't touch me, just get out!" He yelled. The red-head blinked, looking stunned.

"Wh-what's wrong, Rox?" he asked, reaching to touch the blond again.

"Get out!" Roxas yelled again, fear and adrenaline coiling up in his stomach as he tried his hardest not to cry. Axel stiffened before handing over the toilet paper. He bit his lower lip and then leant in closer.

"Fine. But when it stops, find me. We need to talk," He whispered, exiting the room as he'd been requested to, not looking back as he shut the door behind him. Once he was gone, the blond covered his mouth and let loose the tears he'd been holding back, hating that he'd hurt the red-head.

It took a few moments, but Roxas managed to pull himself together and clean himself up, plugging his nose with the toilet paper and trying to think of an explanation, anything, besides the truth.

He couldn't.

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Eventually, he stopped bleeding and Roxas flushed away the bloody toilet paper, taking a deep breath before exiting the room. He needed to clean up the rest of the blood that had fallen to the floor.

He opened the door, heart pounding as he poked his head out. He sighed in relief when he didn't see the red-head and went into the living room, digging in the bag with the last minute stuff. Cloud had thought to give him bleach, just in case something like this happened. Finding it and a rag, Roxas stood, but froze when he saw that Axel was sitting at the piano, watching him closely.

"What are you doing?"

"I-I have to clean up the blood."

"It can wait. We're talking now."

"No!" Roxas replied, tone panicked.

"Yes. I'll even clean it up later for making you wait." Roxas shook his head.

"Please, we'll talk after, just give me a minute, please." A delicate eyebrow rose, but Axel didn't protest as the blond hurried to the bathroom. When he didn't return for a good while, Axel got up to investigate, that eyebrow travelling higher as he stood in the doorway, arms crossed. Roxas was cleaning obsessively, even though the blood was long gone.

"What are you doing?" He asked for a second time. Roxas jumped, looking up.

"C-cleaning." Axel hummed.

"What are these?" He asked, holding up a familiar pill bottle. It had been in the same bag that the bleach had been in. Roxas stood, his eyes widening in both fear and disbelief.

"You went through my stuff?! I can't believe you!"

"Of course I did! Why wouldn't I investigate?! You're acting crazy! What the fuck are these?! Why were you freaking out earlier? Why are you cleaning like a maniac?!" he demanded, advancing on the blond with each question and backing Roxas up against the wall. The blond looked away and Axel punched the wall, making him jump. "Don't look away, don't prolong it anymore, answer me, goddamnit!" Hesitantly Roxas looked at his love, terrified.

"You can't fathom how difficult that is for me to do," he whispered.

"Why? Do you not trust me?" Roxas closed his eyes. "If you'd ever had anything to tell me, anything you were keeping from me, I would've been nonjudgmental. I would have listened to you! Trust is one of the key things you need when you're in a relationship, Roxas. If you can't trust me, we shouldn't be together. So, if you've got something to tell me, you'd better start talking. You don't have a choice anymore." Ocean blue met the red-head's emerald green eyes. Axel looked angry and equally hurt.

"I'll tell you, I promise just please don't leave me, please," he whimpered. Axel nodded, looking at him expectantly. Roxas looked away. "God… I'm so scared…" he whispered, shaking. Arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a hug and Axel sighed heavily.

"You can tell me anything, I promise." Shaking, Roxas hugged the red-head back.

"I'm so sorry for yelling at you earlier when you were trying to help." Axel nodded.

"Alright, I'll forgive you for that so long as you tell me the rest." Roxas nodded, biting his lower lip.

"I…" he whispered, eyes rimmed with tears, "w-when I was eight, my uncle was proven guilty and sentenced to go to jail for twenty-five years. He only went for eight years though because of good behavior." He whispered looking up at the red-head. "The uhm… the same day he went to jail for r-raping me, we got a call from the doctor's office. They'd messed up one of my labs we'd had done. My brother had been determined to make sure Luxord would never touch me again and was willing to do whatever it'd take," he said softer yet in explanation. "And know what we found out?" Roxas whispered, trying his hardest not to cry.

"What?" Axel whispered back.

"He gave me a final parting gift- a death sentence as Cloud put it; HIV. Those pills in your hand are prolonging my life." Axel's eyes widened and he pulled back, dropping them, hands shaking as he grasped Roxas' shoulders and stared down at the smaller boy.

"Wh-what?! Are you serious?!" Roxas nodded. "How long do you have left, to live?!"

"I don't know."

"N-no…" Axel whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you…" he whispered, looking like he was about to cry, himself.

"I… I don't know…" The red-head looked away then closed his eyes. "Axel, please, I'm so sorry! I was scared! I'm so sorry…" he whispered over and over.

"I… I need a moment," the older boy murmured, pulling away before walking to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Roxas stared at the floor for a long time, closing his eyes as the tears started and began to run down his face. After a long moment, he bent down, picking up his medicine and pocketing it, already deciding that he'd stop taking it if the red-head couldn't accept him.

He picked up the bleach, setting it on the counter, threw the rag away, and then went into the living room, ending up on the sofa, curling up and crying silently, wondering how badly he'd hurt Axel.

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It was over an hour before the red-head left his room. He glanced into the bathroom and Roxas' decided room quickly. Seeing that the blond was in neither, he continued down the hall, noticing that familiar golden hair and seeing that Roxas was lying on the sofa, facing away from him. Axel went to him and peered down at him.

The blond's eyes were closed, his music was blaring, and it looked like he'd been crying. The red-head bit on his lower lip then placed his hand on top of the smaller boy's head, running it through those soft golden spikes. Those blue eyes opened wide and Roxas stared up at the red-head. The blond turned off his Zune and took out the headphones. Axel adverted his gaze.

"You should eat something."

"Lost my appetite," Roxas whispered.

"Please?" Roxas nodded slowly.

"For you." Axel knelt beside the blond, shaking his head.

"No, for yourself." Roxas smiled sadly.

"But you're my rhyme and reason. Without you I've neither."

"What would Cloud say if he heard you say that?" Roxas looked away.

"I…" He stared up at the red-head when Axel grasped his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to guilt you. I just want you to think about him too."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Of course I am." Roxas bit his lower lip. "You lied to me, Roxas." The blond looked like he were about to protest. "Exclusion on something this important is just as bad." The smaller boy closed his eyes and a hand cupped his cheek. "But… it'll be okay. If we're careful and do some research… everything should be just fine." Roxas opened his eyes, blinking dumbly a few times.

"What?"

"Remember when I was fighting to be with you, and said I was doomed to get my heart broken because I already loved you?" Roxas nodded slowly. "Guess I was right."

"I don't understand…" Axel sighed softly.

"Roxas…" he breathed, making the blond's heart pound. "I love you all the same. With or without HIV, you're still my Roxas. The only regrettable thing about the former is that we'll have less time together then we could have otherwise." The blond's eyes welled up with tears.

"Really?"

"Really-" the red-head barely got a chance to reply before nearly getting the wind knocked out of him when Roxas surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," the blond barely choked out, holding Axel in a death grip. He was crying, hard. Axel returned the embrace. "I was so afraid of losing you… because I love you so much."

"Well I know now, and everything will be alright," He whispered, resting his chin on the smaller boy's head and letting the blond cry into his chest.

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Roxas smiled as the red-head handed him a plate full of pizza. Axel had pried himself away once the blond had calmed, returning with food for each of them. The couch shifted as the older boy sat and the red-head smiled as the blond took a bite of pepperoni pizza, and, rather hungrily, continued to eat.

"Axel?" Roxas asked, just as the red-head was about to take a bite of his own.

"Yes?" he asked, munching on his food.

"Would… would it be alright… to share a room?"

"I thought you didn't want to."

"That was because… of my… well… you know…"

"HIV?" Roxas closed his eyes, nodding. The red-head smiled.

"I'd love to."

"Really?" Axel nodded, making Roxas beam. "Do you want to push our beds together or…?"

"Together."

"Alright, babe. We can move your stuff into my room, whenever."

"Really?"

"Really." Roxas hugged the red-head excitedly, making the older boy smile. "…Actually, I lied. You have to finish your pizza first." Roxas laughed.

"Alright."

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Roxas smiled happily. He and Axel had moved his bed into the red-head's room and pushed them together. They still had a way to go, with bringing the blond's belongings into the room, but it was a start at least. Axel flopped down on the conjoined beds, sprawling out across both, making the blond laugh softly. Those green eyes flashed upward, taking their owner's love in. Axel propped himself up on his elbows.

"Come here." Roxas' smile widened as he approached the red-head, stopping in front of him.

"Now what?"

"Lie beside me." Roxas did.

"And now?" he whispered. Axel smirked, grasping the blond's chin.

"Now I'm going to kiss you, that okay?" Roxas blushed.

"Guess so," he whispered back, just before the red-head captured his lips. Roxas grasped his lover's shoulders as he was pressed into the mattress and Axel deepened the kiss when the blond shuddered, but pulled back when he moaned.

"Guess I shouldn't get carried away…" Roxas pouted.

"You're right, I guess," he whispered, pout deepening. "This sucks."

"Hey, it'll be alright. Promise," he whispered, kissing the blond's forehead. Roxas smiled up at the red-head, watching as he lay down beside him once more.

"Yeah, you're right," he whispered back, snuggling closer and wrapping his arms around the taller boy. Axel wrapped his arms around the blond as well, and they lay like that for what felt like forever. "Axel?" Roxas whispered, afraid the red-head had fallen asleep. Axel hummed tiredly. "Thanks for being so understanding." The red-head nodded slowly.

"I thought about it… and it's not like I can stop loving you now… so I'm just going to cherish our time together, even if it'll be harder in the end," he whispered.

"Really?"

"Really."

"God… I must be a terrible person." Axel gripped the blond more tightly.

"Why would you say that?" Sapphire locked with emerald.

"You're so wonderful… and I'm causing you so much grief." Axel frowned.

"I think you're an excellent person."

"Why?"

"You've had so much go on in your life, yet here you are, doing your best to keep going, especially since none of it was your fault." Roxas shook his head.

"I've wanted to give up so many times… Just end it all… I even tried to a few times. The only thing holding me back was Cloud… and now you."

"Regardless, you're not a bad person. You didn't deserve any of this… I'm so glad that you didn't give up." Roxas stared down at the red-head's chest, smiling sadly.

"Me too."

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-TBC-

A/N: I'd been hoping to update this on 5/5 since that was the 1 year anniversary for Bitter. Ran into a snag though—a good friend got married, and I witnessed the wedding. Also; catching up on homework. Ah well; Better late than never, right?

And on a brighter note (for all those who care), my grandma's cancer removal surgery went well, she even got to go home after being in a rest home for a week and a half, all I'm anxious about is whether or not she'll have to do chemo… but she's doing amazingly well so I'm not as worried.

Anyhow, I digress. Did you like the chapter? Please do let me know. Apologies again for FFN deleting my scene separators.