"Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence." -Leonardo da Vinci
Hermione Granger stood there in the cold, wet, frosty air, watching the Burrow with watchful eyes as if staring at it long enough will cause her mission to go away and to cause the problems on her chest go away. However, the longer she stared at it the worse she felt and the colder she got. Snow was falling gracefully onto the ground and Hermione was tempted to stay and watch it accumulate over time, eventually she knew the snow would pile so high that you wouldn't be able to see anything that was underneath, the perfect white pure blanket that covered all that was underneath, a pretty façade that remained untouched until some excited kid ran across it with their friends, and eventually the pretty pure white snow will be trampled and dirty and the façade would be ruined.
"Ms. Granger, you're going to catch a cold if you stay out here too long."
Hermione turned from her pensive state, her eyes dazed and tired as if the weight of her situation was finally beginning to cave around her. "I like looking at the snowflakes, Professor," Hermione told Professor Dumbledore who had begun to walk towards her.
"I was surprised to note that you were here, at the Burrow. I assumed that you would be with your parents all break." Professor Dumbledore's tone was even which only added to the unnerve Hermione began to feel.
"Oh? Were you spying on me, Professor?" Hermione quirked an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest, the weariness and melancholiness she was just experiencing began to disappear.
"Yes," Dumbledore responded abruptly. "I like to keep tabs on people that I may think of as threats." Hermione felt her heart stop as Dumbledore continued. "I was greatly saddened to learn of your parents passing earlier this summer, I was even more saddened to learn that you were going to spend the holidays with your parents, which left me wondering, where you would actually be going. Of course, Ms. Granger don't think I am unaware of the things that happen in my castle. The portraits like to talk, especially when they've seen you and Mr. Malfoy running off together more than once. Am I right to assume that you just came back from the Malfoy Manor?"
Hermione stared at Dumbledore with wide eyes. His blue eyes twinkled like they did when he wanted people to think he was harmless. They twinkled and stared at her as they waited for her response. His face was covered in wrinkles, some laugh lines, and many stress lines. Dumbledore was not a young man and the tribulations of his past clearly showed upon his face. His lips were pressed together, but not tightly. He wasn't trying to keep anything inside. He was willing to say anything to get the information that he wanted. This Dumbledore before her was the same Dumbledore that had welcomed her on her first day of Hogwarts, this was the same Dumbledore who comforted Harry when he was down. This was the same Dumbledore that allowed an innocent Sirius Black to rot in jail and the same Dumbledore who knew that Hermione's parents died and yet did nothing about it for months. This Dumbledore was not the quirky old man who was Headmaster of a bunch of children, this was the Dumbledore that was the master manipulator, who never lost. No one ever picked a fight against him. Everyone always followed him blindly or cowered away in free, except for Hermione.
"Excuse me? My parents are not dead. Why would you say that?" Hermione lied her voice carrying mock shock and surprise.
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at the girl, clearly not expecting to be fought with. "Oh? Your parents aren't Peter and Jean Granger, dentists living in Hampstead Garden?" Hermione didn't speak, though her teeth clenched in a movement that peaked Dumbledore's interests. "I must have gone to the wrong funeral then. How are your parents then Hermione?"
Hermione wet her lips and smiled mockingly as she prepared her next attack. "They're quite lovely. They just left for a ski trip but with the war and all I figured it would be best if I came to the Burrow instead of going with them."
"Oh, you should go. The order can protect you." Dumbledore replied. Hermione smiled with fake sweetness.
"Oh no, I shouldn't ask the Order to protect me when there are much more important things going on. The Death Eaters are reaching out to kidnap and murder people every day. I'm not even an important member of this team after all." Hermione's words mirrored Dumbledore's evenness and brutality from earlier.
"Ms. Granger, don't sell yourself short. I think that you're quite an important member of this team. Harry wouldn't have survived as long as he did without you." Hermione smiled in return. "Now, I really must be going. Please tell Molly that I said Hello but sadly cannot attend Christmas dinner with her, and be sure to tell Narcissa that I said hello as well." Dumbledore apparated away leaving Hermione standing in the icy air, feeling angrier than she had since her parents died.
Ron and Harry were ecstatic to see Hermione walk through the door late on that cold Christmas afternoon. Hermione was overwhelmed by her mission from Voldemort and her less than unpleasant conversation with Dumbledore mere minutes ago. Her mood seemed to drop even more when she was greeted enthusiastically by most of the Order. Dumbledore's acquisitions still rung her mind, the fact that he spied on her, the fact that he knew her parents had died and most of all the fact that he considered her a threat.
"Hermione!" Ginny squealed and ran through the crowd to greet her friend with an animated hug. Hermione smiled sweetly in an attempt to keep her true emotions from showing in her eyes. "This is such a surprise! We didn't know you were coming!" Ginny exclaimed. Hermione looked at her friend, with weary eyes.
"Plans changed with my parents, they won a ski trip to Switzerland, but they had to leave right away so I figured I would spend the rest of the Holidays with you guys. I hope that's okay Mrs. Weasley, I thought about writing a letter before, but my parents were in a hurry."
Molly Weasley shook her head and gave Hermione a deep hug. "Dear, you are always welcome here."
Hermione smiled softly at the Matriarch, the recent events beginning to float to the back of Hermione's mind as she took in Molly Weasley's comforting embrace. "Thank you, that really means a lot."
After the pleasantries, Molly Weasley immediately began to fret about Hermione's weight and returned to her typical position in the kitchen as she finished the last-minute preparations for Christmas Dinner. Hermione was ushered into the living room where she was seated in between Ginny and Ron tightly. Draco's locket held heavy around her neck and she resisted the urge to reach up and grab it for comfort as she sat surrounded by so many people she hadn't seen since last May. It wasn't long before Remus Lupin and Arthur Weasley began to talk about the state of the war.
"The rate of Death Eater attacks have been rising exponentially. We should fear that they are preparing for an attack," Remus stated in a quiet tone to Arthur Weasley. However, upon hearing the word Death Eater, the entire room fell silent as they all listened carefully to what was going to be said. "Perhaps we should be preparing fighting back."
"Dumbledore knows what he's doing by holding us back for now," Arthur Weasley responded. Hermione bit her lip hard as she tried not to protest against the blind faith that Dumbledore's followers had for the headmaster. The image of her headmaster ambushing her will forgive be cemented into her brain to further her hatred for the man.
"People are dying!" Remus exclaimed, which caused Tonks to place her hand on her husband's thigh in an attempt to calm him down.
"More would die if we went to fight!" Arthur exclaimed back. "We aren't ready!"
"The Death Eaters clearly are!" Remus retorted.
"I trust Dumbledore," Harry stated softly, breaking through the noise. "Dumbledore wants this war to end just as much as the rest of us. I trust that he would not lead us astray. He's just waiting for the right time to strike."
"And we're all just supposed to sit here and wait while our friends and family become targets of the Dark Lord's sick game?" Remus responded coldly. He spoke from a place of pain and loneliness. The first time around he followed Dumbledore's every word until at the last second everything fell apart and was left with nothing. 10 years had given Remus enough time to get used to having his four friends around him and within 1 night he lost them all, a permanent reminder of why he shouldn't let people in, and once again he found himself in the same situation, only this time he was determined to not let the same mistakes happen again.
Hermione's attempts to forget about her current situation were quickly shut down as she looked around at the Order members scattered around the House, drinking eggnog and butterbeer and that despite the looming threat of the war they all seemed happy to just be around each other. Lupin lost everything the first time and now he had finally got it all back. The war weighed on him heavily, but he had grown more accustomed to spontaneity. Arthur Weasley worked ceaselessly to support his family, the family that gave him so much joy and happiness, and simply being around them made him feel alive. Tonks had spent her whole life fighting and winning, she fought for her family and she fought for Remus's love and now she was just waiting for the fight that was next to come and she was excited. Harry had lost everything, but he was still happy to be surrounded by friends that he considered family.
Hermione looked around and couldn't help but feel incredibly unhappy. She had missed her friends dearly but couldn't overcome the feeling that she was betraying them. She was marked, and Harry has hated people he assumed to be death Eaters before with less proof. It would tear him apart to know that she was keeping this from him. It would tear him apart to know what she had become. She was twisted and cynical. She was paranoid about everything and felt hopelessly alone. She looked to the two Weasleys on each side of her. Ron would hate her once he found out, his anger would turn into guilt and Hermione didn't want to imagine that. She didn't want to imagine the way Ron's eyes would look at her as if she was the scum of the Earth. She didn't want to imagine the way that Ginny wouldn't be able to look at her. She didn't want to imagine the heartbreak in Harry's green eyes, the same heartbreak that he got every time he thought about his parents. And Hermione didn't want to imagine herself, stubborn as she is, willingly separating from her friends because she knew that her cause was right, and they were all made blind by their ignorance.
/
Hermione, as soon as dinner was over, apologized to everyone and claimed tiredness in order to escape to her room and write to Draco. She ran up the stairs quickly and lit a candle in Ginny's room. The room was dim, but it helped set the mood. Hermione was working in secret to write a letter to her confidant in a time of war. Hermione couldn't help but feel like a freedom fighter in the middle of a revolution.
Pulling out a piece of parchment and her quill, Hermione began to write. The words flowing out of her as she talked to Draco, amazed at how easy it was for her to talk to Draco.
DM,
You will not believe what Dumbledore said to me earlier. He ambushed me as I was preparing myself to enter into the Burrow. Apparently, he's spying on me and if he is I hope he can read this letter. He came up to me and said that he was surprised to discover that I was going to the Burrow, and when I asked him if he was spying on me he bluntly told me yes, that he spied on all those he considered a threat. I'm glad that the idea of me being a Death Eater has left Dumbledore afraid. I am Hermione Granger, best friend to Harry Potter, and muggleborn, and if I can sneak my way into the Death Eater ranks then perhaps your perception of the Death Eaters is all wrong.
Of course, the Order's perception of the Death Eaters is not entirely off, but the acknowledgment that this war isn't so black and white makes for a clearer picture of the war before us. Perhaps, if they would acknowledge the shades of gray on both sides of the war it would save them the heartbreak and open their eyes to the tyranny that is Albus Dumbledore.
It breaks my heart to think about all the friends that I will eventually be losing. It will break Harry's heart to discover my marking and the Weasleys will hate me once they find out. What hurts, even more, is not that it will one day soon be happening but that I don't think that I am really in the fault. My marking was a result of kidnapping and the lack of a choice, and I could've told Dumbledore, but he was the cause of my kidnapping, to begin with. Also, I know that he would either hide me away or tell me to be a spy, and being a spy is far lonelier than I'm doing now.
Tensions are rising in the Order, they fear the Death Eaters and I can understand why. They fear that something is coming soon, and as being one of the people in charge of bringing this something to light I know they should be afraid, but I can't just tell them that.
I can't help, Draco, but to feel enlightened. I am free from my ignorance and they are all left blind. I want to help them, but I know that it is not yet time. They don't want to be free just yet. But someday soon. They will.
I have also enclosed a separate letter including my report to the Dark Lord. I will be most grateful if you could give that to him for me.
HG