A/N: Hey~ Sorry for the long wait, here's me nervously hoping the contents of this chapter will make up for it ;) Thanks for the follows/favs/reviews, all of your support really is much appreciated!

SunnySide: Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it! :) Just what I needed to stop being a total chicken and write this chapter~! ;p

Chapter 13

Her eyes widened, pupils wavering in pools of confused hazel as her breath caught. Ben waited for her to overcome her shock. For that same exhilarating sense of belonging that spilled out of him to overtake it. To have his unfamiliar but unrestrained joy merge with hers when she would realize he was telling the truth. Ever since he had discovered the shared element in their visions he had yearned for the confirmation of it. For her acknowledgement. That one day..

But it didn't come. She didn't say anything. Couldn't even move. Instead the drag and push of waves grew more deafening with each renewal of that ceaseless rhythm; mercilessly eroding his light, his hope, with it.

"Rey.. Say something.." he pleaded, her silence was in many ways so much worse than an indignant retort or blatant disbelief would have been. A sharp intake of breath. Her hands clutching the folds of her dress then releasing their hold again as if in surrender. She knew. If not before, she did now. Those brown orbs seemed to ripple then fracture, break a little. Acceptance? Resignation? Rejection..?

She knew…and yet didn't want it to be true. Didn't want him.

Ben took a step forward, desperate to reach her. To read her thoughts. To sense her feelings. To beg her to give him a sign. Any sign. A promise. That their child was real. That one day she would be.

…That she could lov-

Rey took one step back in response to his approach. And another. Faltering but away from him. She closed her eyes, visibly shivered and turned her back on him, cloak billowing as she staggered a little as if wounded and then strained herself to keep walking. Watching her go felt like something was ripped out of him with such force that the world reeled around him when its precarious balance got sucked out with it too. Stars were scattered at his feet. The sea rushed down from the dark sky. Two moons intertwining, melding, then sailing away from each other again. The echoes of his own voice calling out after her dwindling form loud and panicked, then fragile and hoarse.

When he had finally regained control over his senses and the horizon had slid back into place, Rey was gone. He set out after her. Following the glistening sand of her footprints through halls and up flights of stairs until he halted in front of the door leading to her bedroom. A sliver of light ran along the bottom, cut off from its source every time her pacing shadow moved passed.

His voice didn't work. Wouldn't come out. Like it had been defeated by the sheer impossibility to be really heard by her now. Knowing it to be futile, Ben still stretched out his consciousness. It hit the walls around her mind with a crash. He turned away, wincing, swaying, and leaned back, shoulders colliding with the door as he slid down it. The tap-tap-tap of her heels halted for a brief moment, Ben swore he could feel the periphery of the Force buzzing around her carefully, reluctantly, probe in his direction, then was instantly withdrawn again and she resumed her pacing.

(…)

She pressed her ear against the door one more time, stifling a surge of guilt at the relief she felt that nothing but silence could be heard. Clipping the lightsaber on her belt she cast one last look around the room, picked up her bag and placed her hand on the bronze handle.

Rey stepped over the threshold, only to abruptly halt again alongside the slumped but still tall figure of Ben; his chin was dipped towards his chest, lidded eyes twitching a little in his sleep and his breathing almost inaudible. Despite the illusion of rest and peace there was something unmistakably haunted in the creases in his forehead and the way he clenched his fists.

Unable to watch him and not feel the wrongness of what she was about to do she ducked her head as if in shame and hurried passed. It took all of her self-control to keep going. To make her way through the lofty palace that was all dark and quiet now. To not give in to the chaos of emotions that were stirring, screaming at her to stop. To turn around. To go back. Go back to him..

She stubbornly increased her pace. Needlessly repositioning the bag slung around her shoulder and tapping the hilt of her lightsaber, trying desperately to focus on nothing else but the feel and sound of her heels hitting the ground, taking her further and further away.

Of course a palace such as this, a planet such as this, never truly slept. There were Stormtroopers patrolling everywhere; interchangeable, armored puppets making their rounds with the echoes of their seemingly endless marching irrationally making them grow in number. With some luck she slipped passed them and outside. A few small lizards slithered up the high walls as the gate closed behind her with a shudder. She instantly dismissed the startled security officer heading straight for her and was glad to be quickly rid off him and his accompanying unit of guards when he obeyed, salute lingering a little too long in his obvious hesitation to comply.

The upsilon-class shuttle perched like a roosting raven at the precise center of the square, its black wings pointing skywards, red and green blips running along their rims. The sight filled her with dread. With reluctance. But how could she do any different? She needed to warn him. Make him leave. Flee. Whatever it was that would keep him alive. Whatever would keep him out of the clutches of the First Order. Away from Ben..

Finally having slipped between her defenses that thought alone stopped her in her tracks. She stood, for an impossible long moment, transfixed. How could he have pushed her towards that impossible choice?! Would her betrayal in turn even out the score? Would he let the First Order stamp its Empress as a traitor when she returned? Would he sacrifice her like he was willing to do with Master Skywalker?

…Would he quash with it their chil-

Rey cursed under her breath, setting her jaw as she willed herself to move. To keep going. The shuttle came to life at the merest perusal of her touch, the ramp sleekly sliding down to admit her.

She hastened inside, getting rid of her bag and swiveling the pilot's chair around. Ignoring the gnawing sensation that was wreaking havoc in her chest, Rey started flipping switches and activating systems. The shuttle obediently absorbed her input, granting her requests instantly as she pulled up the necessary navigational charts and entered the right set of coordinates. Her movements were rushed, erratic almost. Performed with an urgency to make it respond to her even faster. Then they became less directed and purposeful. Faltered. Slowed. All zeal drained from the activity until her hands hovered above the controls, quavering. Unwilling.

She let out a cry in frustration at their disobedience, then balled them into angry fists and pressed them against her forehead. It didn't help to erase the images playing repeatedly against the inside of her skull. To stop them from exerting that powerful pull tugging relentlessly at her heart.

She couldn't look away from the girl's delight in anticipation of the waves, the foam that crested it picked up by the wind. Couldn't stop seeing Ben taking that small hand. How he looked straight at her. Answering her gaze with the enticing promise of being whole. Complete.

Tears streamed down her face as she scrunched up her eyes in a futile attempt to stem their flow. They cascaded freely over her cheeks, painful but liberating sobs escaping her failing restraint too. She hunched over the controls, her whole body heaving, cowering with the overwhelming realization.

She couldn't lose that. Couldn't lose him.. Them. Even if it meant.. Whatever it would mean she would have to do.. Rey took a shuddering breath, steadying herself a little. She still felt shaken but calmer now. Numbed certainty dulling the sting of her emotions somewhat.

Something pale and fragile made her eyes prick. She looked up, vision flooding with the first of daylight and she couldn't help but be in awe. Rey sat up a little straighter, for one blissful moment disconnecting with all pressing thoughts and raging feelings as she simply watched the sun being born through the viewport.

(…)

It must have been hours later when he woke with a start. Dark strands obscuring his blurred vision. His chest hollow, as if someone had scraped out the marrow in his bones. Despite his dogged determination to not give up trying to reconnect to Rey, to wait as long as he had to for her to open up to him, he had fallen asleep; becoming an easy prey for restless dreams an infuriating web of confusing, taunting images and sounds.

A draft whispered against the back of his neck. He shot to his feet as the implication of that sank in. One of the double doors was swung wide open. Heart hammering in his throat, Ben pushed the other half inward, finding the room behind it abandoned. Her crimson dress lay on the floor in an untidy heap, its color bleeding into the white marble while a shaft of sunlight peering through the narrow crevices between curtains cast the crumpled bedsheets and scattered pillows in intermittent brightness. There were a few items here and there, all equally left behind in seeming hurry.

Raw, grating fear threatened to engulf him and he expanded the Force around him in a desperate attempt to locate her, to encompass the entire planet, its orbit, the space vessels crowding it and even brushing against the first few stars within reach. He found her a lot closer than he in his panic had envisioned. He slumped a little in tentative relief as he focused on that glorious pulse of energy, dulled now her mind was still closed off to him, but there.

He strode out of the room, almost colliding with an officer, no, a pilot.

"M- My Emperor." she moved away from him in frightened embarrassment, awkwardly bending her stiffened back into a formal half-bow, "Empress Rey has sent me to you."

"Where is she?" he instantly demanded.

"She is waiting for you in your shuttle-"

Ben swept passed her before she had finished the sentence. He registered little else apart from Rey's signature, allowing himself to have it draw him closer. Closer. He saw his shuttle. Engines not even switched on but its hatch opened.

He ascended the ramp in haste, not prepared for the surge of relief crushing into him at the sight of her. Her shoulders tensed a little at his approach and she turned her head to the side, eyes not quite making it all the way to him.

"Rey.." He let his emotions roll towards her, barrage her even, but he just felt so immensely relieved she hadn't left. Hadn't left him.

She trembled, struggling to reply, ultimately failing and reverting her attention back to the console in front of her, fingers flying across it in what he recognized as a needless repetition of commands she must have already initiated.

He couldn't bear that she was still keeping up those walls. Something had changed within her. But she would not let him truly see it. Still hesitated to have him access her feelings. Connect with her. He hated being cut off from her. Cut off from hope that he had little enough of for himself but that he refused to give up on. If he did..

Then he would kill the future he longed for instead of the past he still recoiled from.

Unable to take it any longer, to be exposed to her silence, Ben retreated into the washing compartment, the cramped space hardly sufficient to serve as an outlet for his frustration. He shifted his weight to the balls of his feet when he felt the subtle pull of artificial gravity as they became airborne. The humming around him increased, the presence of a million dots of energy growing fainter as they broke through the outer atmosphere and into space, almost immediately followed by that press against his eardrums with the ignition of the hyper drive engines.

Ben threw off his gloves, activating the tap by slamming his hand on the sensor, making water gush out in a sputtering arc. He clawed at the hem of his tunic, finally freeing his throat from the suffocating drag of his cloak and casting it aside. Hands resting on the rim of the sink for support the utter helplessness coursing through him swelled until it was too much to contain. Ben lashed out, ramming a fist into the mirror, destroying it rather than being devoured by all of this raw emotion himself. The wall had dented with the impact, shards reflecting back the pain in his own eyes. The parts that were missing, that hadn't been crushed into the wall, tinkled in the sink, water pouring over them, making them tremble and having ragged auras of light bounce off onto the glossy surface of the compartment.

Breathing heavily he unclasped his belt, tore his tunic over his head and bend over the sink again, its metal cool against his body. Ignoring the broken fragments at the bottom Ben cupped his hands, splashing the water pooled in them in his face then stilled again.

Drops fell from his nose and the tips of his wet hair but he didn't bother to dry himself with one of the towels. Instead he pulled open a random drawer and took out a fresh tunic. He had only just put it on when their connection fully returned without warning.

Abandoning his attempt to pull on his gloves, Ben half stumbled outside, immediately stepping out into main compartment that was now flooded with the hellish white and blue of hyperspace.

"Are you hurt?" her voice cracked. He didn't need to ask why she would think he could have been. Shards still tumbled down from the shattered mirror, the soft chinks it caused mingling with the steady hum of the shuttle.

"No.."

It was only partly true. The throbbing in his reddened knuckles wasn't the pain he cared about, that really hurt.

Rey stood in the center, gravitated and forlorn at the same time, the large viewport stretching out at either side of her. Her head turned slightly again, aligning her profile with her shoulder. This time she didn't revert it back to stare ahead again. He instinctively closed the distance between them when she finally faced him.

Ben could see the faint traces of dried up tears, prompting him to cradle her head in his hands, fingers digging in her hair, thumbs attempting to rub them away in soothing strokes.

"I couldn't.." her breath hitched and she swayed against him. A torrent of regret, of a magnetizing warmth washed over him, inevitably colliding with his own need for her. Both being swept up with the current of released affection.

"Couldn't what?" he murmured back though he hoped he already knew. He did know.

Her hands grabbed a hold of his tunic as she steadied herself against him, eyes unblinking and an alluring mix of ebony-flecked amber, "Leave.. I couldn't. Not without you.."

Ben released the breath he was holding, a huff of such intense relief that it made all of him tremble. Drops clinging to his hair were steadily dripping down the side of his neck, he could feel them travel down his tunic, the cold trails they left on his skin sparking electricity in his veins.

"Be-"

The mere sound of his name pushed him over the edge and he smothered her voice as their lips crashed together.

...how evil am I to end it right here? hihi ;p I promise next chapter will pick up at the exact nanosecond we left off!