Chapter Eleven: Damn Naru and His Lectures

A week or so later….

"You are the most idiotic, stubborn, conceited, arrogant, narcissistic, handsome, amazing, WONDERFUL man I have ever had the misfortune to fall in love with!" Mai's hands abruptly slapped over her mouth, as if that would erase the words that had just come out.

Oh, God. She had not just said that … had she?

Shit.Now, you are all probably wondering how this happened. Of course, you are probably all more interested in what happens next, but too bad. You see, it all started one rainy day, right after a case…

Flashback!! To: The Beginning

"Ayako, have you looked at this?" Mai snickered. "This woman's husband didn't believe that he was a ghost, so when she started dating again he tried to file for divorce."

"Really?"

Ayako picked up one of the books on display, laughing. Yasuhara was the only other member of the team who was paying any attention to the book tables; Masako was in reserved conversation with another medium and the rest of the men--being men--were instantly attracted to the cameras and computers and other fancy gizmos.

You see, there are such wonderful things as ghost hunting conventions, and they were at one. Yay! Fun, fun, fun.

Not that Naru cared if they were fun or not. He was here for two reasons. 1) Madoka had showed up and forced him. If he resisted, or refused to take the rest of them as well, she would personally escort him.

2) It was more work. Whoop-de-do.

There was a surprising amount of people there, too, considering you had to pay to get in unless you were qualified. As psychics, exorcists, and paranormal investigators, they were qualified. (Except for Yasuhara, who was only semi-qualified … but no one minded lying about his state of employment. Close enough, right?)

The convention was being held in a huge ballroom in a hotel, which made Ayako very, very happy. Last case, they had all been stuffed into this cheap little motel with bad heating and ugly green walls. Thanks to another ghost-hunting discount, this time they only needed to go two to a room. Mai had practically had a heart attack when she found out that Ayako and Bou-san were sharing a room…. Since when had they been dating?? Of course everyone else had already guessed. Of course.

Anyway, Naru was trying as hard as possible to make this a busy work trip. Mai was required to attend three different lectures the first day alone, and take notes. He claimed that if they encountered anything during a case that had been covered in a lecture, no one was going to save her if she couldn't help herself. He was probably bluffing, but Mai wasn't willing to take the risk.

"Er… Mai?" Mai tore herself from a particularly interesting book she was going to buy at Takigawa's voice.

"Yeah?"

"That lecture kind of started ten minutes ago. Weren't you supposed to--?"

He was knocked over as Mai gasped, horrified, and sprinted out of the room. Conference room four … conference room five … six … why were there so many damn conference rooms?

When she finally found conference room eight (predictably, it was the farthest one from the rest of the convention), she was out of breath and very late. Mai prayed that Naru and Lin had sat in the back, so she could slip in unobtrusively and maybe no one would notice … but, as we all know, life is nowhere near that kind.

Not only were they not in the back, they were in the very first row, and Naru glanced back just in time to see her sit down. He shook his head, so she sighed and dragged herself to the front. Why oh why couldn't a single person be too interested in the lecture to notice the little schoolgirl walking up the aisle? Everyone watched her until she reached the front--including the lecturer. All the seats were taken up, too, so Mai was forced to sit, Indian-style, with Naru and Lin's feet for company. She thanked God that she had worn a long skirt today. Yay for cold weather!

"You're late," Naru muttered.

"So what else is new?" Mai shot back. She rested her elbows on her knees and focused on the speaker, but within two minutes she was lost. He had somehow switched from shiki to hitogata in the same sentence, and then started talking about something she had never heard of before as if it were intimately connected. Maybe Naru had had a point when he insisted she take notes….

Just as she was ruing her lack of a clipboard (no wonder Naru loved that thing), Lin's foot dug into her side, and he slipped a piece of paper and a pen down. Mai mouthed 'Thank you' and Lin nodded. He had obviously been waiting for Naru to look away so she might not be reprimanded, but again, life ain't sweet that way.

"I thought I told you to be prepared?"

"Since when do I have to know the psychological difference between people who choose shiki or hitotagas or Kudo-whatever?"

"Kodoku," he corrected. "If you had, you might have solved three cases by yourself already."

"You really want me to steal the spotlight next case and solve the whole thing? At least I won't do it with that condescending little smirk that we all hate."

"At this rate, I'm not worried. You missed twenty minutes of good information, and you're still not paying attention."

At this, Mai could only grumble. She liked being able to get in a few comebacks, but she had been late… she hated it when Naru was right.

Mai tried to take notes, but it was really hard. The speaker was not Japanese, so he spoke slowly. She was positive he screwed up at least one word a sentence. He had such a dry, monotone voice, too…. How long did this lecture last? It really was boring….

Ten minutes went by… She had stopped taking notes.

Fifteen… She had stopped pretending to take notes.

Twenty… She had stopped paying attention.

Twenty-five… She had stopped pretending to pay attention.

Thirty… She felt like falling asleep.

Thirty-five… Well, Lin's foot had made another bruise in her side, and Mai's head jerked up to find the room emptying. She blushed, and saw a blush on the speakers face, too. Oops.

"Impressive, Mai. You managed to stay conscious for half of a lecture," Naru said, voice laced with cold disapproval.

"Maybe next time you shouldn't keep us all up past midnight staring at the ceiling," she snapped. "Do you have any idea how boring that motel ceiling was?"

"Would you have preferred falling asleep and getting kidnapped?"

"If I knew I would have to sit through that for an hour, yes! Didn't he tell us at one point that it was easier to categorize people by what spell they used than by what turkey sandwich they grew up in?"

At this, even Lin had to snicker a little. Naru was still not amused.

"The next lecture starts at six thirty. I expect you to be there--fully prepared--at six."

"What about dinner?"

"I'm sure you'll find something."

Naru walked away, but Lin stayed back for a second.

"I think it was a chicken sandwich," he said. Mai looked up at him and just laughed. "And at least you didn't go up to the poor man and hand him a list of each and every error he had made translating from English to Japanese."

Mai sighed. "We need to work on his people skills."

"Madoka and I have been working on that for nine and a half years, but good luck."

"So, how was it?" Ayako asked with a smirk.

"I fell asleep," Mai admitted. No one was surprised.

It hadn't been that hard to find the rest of SPR; they had gathered around a display by the British Society for Psychic Research. There were videos of lab experiments--though the famous PK experiment involving a certain egotistic teenager was not present--and various papers and photos. Yasuhara had managed to find a whole binder full of pictures featuring the young Davis twins on a case.

Everyone was having a few good laughs at Naru's expense--there was one picture of an exorcism in which he and Gene appeared to be wrestling in the background, and Naru was not quite winning. Yasuhara had started a running commentary on each picture, and even Masako was laughing out loud. Her kimono sleeve only once covered her face, and that was when Yasuhara looked at her.

Hm… Mai thought with an evil smirk. Good Yasuhara, eliminating my competition…

"Maybe we could all go to the next one," Takigawa offered. "We could all fall asleep and make you look good. I could even snore, if you'd like."

Mai laughed. "Thanks, Bou-san, but I don't think that would work."

"It's a good idea, though," Yasuhara said. "Why not? We might learn something useful."

"You're in college and you want to attend a lecture you don't have to go to?" Ayako asked, looking at him like he was insane.

"Unfortunately, my university doesn't offer any courses in parapsychology," Yasuhara said seriously, straightening his glasses. "I've bought a few books that delve into the subject,"--for the first time, Mai noticed that he had a paper bag that was bulging at the sides-- "But hearing from an expert would be a good opportunity."

"You could ask Naru," Masako pointed out. "I'm sure he would comply in an instant."

Ha! She smiled at him!

"I'm sure you're right, but we should still support Mai-san."

And so, it was decided.

Funky chapter, huh? It didn't take nearly as much time to write as I thought it would. Well, see you next time, guys-- What's that you say? Mai hasn't told Naru he is the most idiotic, stubborn, conceited, arrogant, narcissistic, handsome, amazing, wonderful man she has ever had the misfortune to fall in love with? Oops! I must have forgotten to put it in this chapter! Oh well, I'm sure it will come up sooner or later.

PS: Any Ghost Hunt writers out there, contact me now for a special challenge!

Note from the beta to the readers: IT IS I, THE GREAT RIZA-SAMA! Haha, just kidding. You guys should thank me though, I'm the one who makes sure the story is actually comprehensible. Ama-chan has been an idiot lately, and for that I apologize. Honestly! Making her readers all disappointed like that! She should know better.

As I'm sure you've all figured out by now, the beloved author has no sense of time. Please forgive her. I do my best to keep her deadlines, but does she listen? Fat chance! -sobs- Why? Why me?

As for Mai's little rant, THAT IS CREDITED TO ME, AMA! -growls- I hate authors…

Huh? Oh! H-hello Ama… What? N-no, I haven't been taking up space in the chapter again! -laughs nervously- What do you mean you're gonna kill me? What's that flame thrower for?

Ahhh, shit. -runs for her life-

Please review this poor beta's hard work!