PERSONAL TIME
Chapter 13
Hope of Recovery

"It's ok, Miss. Please let him go now. We need to check him over."

Emily looked up at the paramedic. Her eyes were full of tears. She couldn't wipe them away, her arms were around Hotch.

"He's dead." She whispered. "Please, let me hold him."

"You must let go." The man prised Emily's arms from Hotch and moved him away. Emily broke down.

"Prentiss! I need you over here!" Morgan's voice cut through her grief like a double edged sword. She looked up at him, and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Ok." She stood on shaky legs and went over to where two medics were working on Spencer. He was conscious and in pain. The medics cut away his shirt, and tried to stop the bleeding. A thick pad was placed over the exit wound. He moaned in agony as the pad soaked the blood, and another was placed on top. Emily sat down next to him and took his hand. He turned his head unsteadily.

"Hotch?"

Emily glanced over at him. He was lying on the table on his back. Someone was doing chest compressions, another was intubating him. Blood was dripping off the table onto the concrete floor. The UnSubs were gone. She was glad; she didn't want them to see this.

"The medics are with him now." She said. He had died in her arms. She didn't tell him that though.

They rolled Spencer onto his side, and taped a pad across the entry wound, and laid him back down.

"Ok, Doctor Reid, we're going to put you on a stretcher now."

He turned to Emily.

"Don't let him die, Emily." He said softly, his wide hazel eyes huge and tear filled. "He cannot die."

Emily took both hands in hers. "Just get yourself better, Spence."

They lifted him onto the stretcher. He made a little gasp of pain, and he bit his lip. Emily brushed his hair back off his face.

He smiled a shaky smile at her, and the paramedics took him. Morgan went with Reid. Emily went back to Aaron.

"Please, let me help." She said. She reached out to touch him. "Is he dead?"

One of the medics led her away. "Let them do their work. If he can be saved, they will save him."

Emily looked back over her shoulder. They were getting the CPR paddles ready. The tube in his throat was attached to a bulb. Someone was pumping air into his lungs. She couldn't bear it – this beautiful man, a man carrying so much pain, brought so low, and for nothing. If only she could carry some of his pain; she would gladly die for him.

"Please save him!" she sobbed. Please don't let him die!"

One of the medics called her. "If you want to help, can you keep up his breathing?"

She stepped forwards. "I'll do anything. Please, just don't give up!"

Standing at Aaron's head, she squeezed the bulb, sending air into his lungs. The paddles were put on his chest.

"Clear!"

She stepped away from the table.

Come on, Aaron love. I need you ...I have so much I need to tell you...

In terrible slow motion, she watched Aaron's back arch as the electric current passed through his heart. He made a small cry as air left his lungs.

"Aaron! Please, come back to us!" Emily cried. Don't go!"

The medic continued with the CPR.

"We need to get him to hospital."

Very quickly they lifted his broken inert body onto a stretcher, and carried him to the ambulance. Emily, all the time ventilating his lungs, and holding his cold pale hand. She was shaking, so afraid of losing him before she ever told him how she felt. She just needed that chance...

Come on, Sweetheart, come on...

-0-0-0-

Aaron Hotchner was far away. He felt hands holding his, and he knew someone was breathing for him. It was so good not to have to do it, just to lie there exhausted and some body else doing the hard work of staying alive.
He was too tired, in too much pain, and too hurt to want to breathe on his own. He had felt lips kiss his forehead – Emily? – and it made him want to live, but only for a moment. When the kiss had faded, then so did the fleeting lust for life

Haley why did you hurt me so much? I tried so hard for you, when I was with you, I gave you everything... why did you hurt me? Was I so bad?

"He's got tears!" Emily called to the paramedics. "He's got tears in his eyes!"

No one listened. In the distance she heard "Clear!" and she stepped back and watched the man she loved convulse on the table.

And again...

And again...

And this time, his heart carried on.

He was alive.

One of the medics turned to Emily. "He has you to thank for his life. Normally we would have called."

"He's ok?" Emily could hardly believe it."You've brought him back?"

"His heart is beating. Now the next thing is to get him breathing on his own."

Someone took the bulb from Emily, and connected the trachea tube to a pump. Emily went to Aaron's side and held his hands again.

Aaron knew something had changed. He felt something burst into life in his chest; something that hurt. He wanted it to stop...

Please, make it stop...

-0-0-0-

Spencer was with Morgan. Morgan sat by him and held his hand – nothing intimate, just enough to show him he was there. The pad on his chest was blood soaked again, and another was added. His breaths were bubbly and pink foam was at the corner of his mouth. Morgan wiped it away.

"You're going to be ok, Kid. Just don't give up."

Reid opened his eyes and looked into Morgan's eyes. "Aaron? Did ...he die?" he said softly. "I heard Emily... say he was... dead... did I?"

"I don't know, Spencer. When we left, the medics were working on him."

"That's good." He said, and closed his eyes again. Morgan stared into space and gripped his hand, wondering why Reid hadn't come to him sooner. Then he remembered their other team member, who was still in intensive care.

"Looks like the three of you will be all together again in the same ward." Morgan said. "You guys are making this to be a habit."

-0-0-0-

In a bed in the corner of ICU, David Rossi was waking up after a long sleep. He was lonely, and so spent most of his time sleeping. It hurt like hell if he tried to move, but he was feeling encouraged that it seemed that everything was in working order. He had been told that there was a chance that it might look ok, but wouldn't actually work. But it did, and he was very happy about it. Pity it wasn't the kind of thing one shouted from the rooftops, not in Virginia, not even for an Italian. Maybe in Italy though. He made a decision there and then to visit his roots and do just that. He smiled to himself, wondering what his Mama would make of that!

Something was going on. The nurses were making up beds for two new patients. He would be glad of company, but he didn't want anyone to be hurt just so he'd have someone to talk to. He watched as the curtains were drawn around the two beds, and the patients were brought in.

The first was a young woman or man. He or she had long hair, but that was all he could make out. Several doctors and two ICU nurses went behind the curtain with the new patient. He pulled himself up so that he was almost sitting. It made his eyes water, but he wanted to see what was going on. It was so damned boring in here, anything to watch counted as great excitement.

Then he heard the name – Spencer Reid! They were asking if he was comfortable.

Spencer Reid? How many Spencer Reids were there? Not many - that would be too much of a coincidence. He waited until one of the nurses came out and he called her over.

"Is the new patient Doctor Spencer Reid with the FBI?" he asked.

"Yes. He has been shot, but we think he'll make it." She said. "Why? Do you know him?"

"We work together."

"Oh so you will probably know the other patient who is on his way."

"Aaron Hotchner." Rossi said. "Am I right?"

"Yes! How did you know?" she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "He's in a bad way though I'm afraid. He's very poorly."

"When he's in and settled, may I sit out with them?"

"I should think so. You will be moving up to a ward soon, but unless the bed is needed, it will probably do Spencer and Aaron good to have you close by."

Dave smiled at her as she went back to work. When the next patient was brought in, Prentiss was with him. This was Aaron. He just hoped he would be ok.

-0-0-0-

Hotch had been in theatre, they had to plate his right shin that had been cracked, and his jaw and cheek needed to be plated. The wounds on his back were deep, but they were expected to heal as were the wounds around his neck arms and thighs. The skin was pulled together and stitched. Twice they lost him in theatre. It was almost as if he didn't want to live, and they just kept dragging him back again. He still had machines breathing for him. It was like he'd given up.

Reid had had extensive surgery on his chest wound. Both lungs were working now. David sat beside him and chatted.

"I have a confession to make." Reid said suddenly. "It's about you getting shot. It was my fault. You were coming to meet me."

"No, Reid. It was Haley Hotchner. I had an e-mail..."

"I sent the e-mail." Reid said. "I wanted to tell you what was going on, but our e-mails were compromised."

"So the same UnSub put us all here." Dave said. "Ah now things are starting to make sense."

"They knew everything I did. I still don't know how."

"Did you do a bug sweep?"

"Of my car, my apartment, my desk... everything."

"Your bag?"

Reid stared at him.

"Oh my god! My bag!" Reid's eyes huge with shock. "I didn't check my bag!"

"Where is it now?"

"In the cupboard... Nurse, please, I need something!"

The nurse came over to them. "Please, I need my bag."

The nurse smiled and took Spencer's tatty messenger bag out of the cupboard and put it on the bed.

"I hope you are not planning to do any work!"

"Oh no. Just want to see what's in here."

When she had left, Reid tipped the bag onto the bed, and one at a time. He and Dave returned the things to the bag.

"Roll or crime scene tape, letter addressed to Spencer..."

"Actually, Dave. That can go in the bin now." Reid took the envelope, and tore it in half, dropping it in the bin. "It was from Gideon. He let me down, Dave. I don't know why I still carry his letter. He doesn't deserve that recognition."

Dave didn't say anything, just carried on replacing Spencer's belongings. When everything was back, only his wallet remained.

And in the corner behind the notes, was a tiny bug. Reid looked at it on his hand. "So that's how they did it!"

-0-0-0-

Dave sat with Aaron for a while, so that Emily could get a shower and change of clothes. He told Aaron that they had found a bug in Reid's messenger bag, and then he told him about his Italian holiday plans, and why!

"Maybe you would join me, Aaron. We could have some fun!"

Aaron wasn't hearing very well. When they screwed his face back together, something had happened to his hearing. It could be temporary, but it really didn't matter. He knew the voice though. Dave – a good friend. But it wasn't enough. The effort to live was just too much.

He remembered that he had been shot, and was in a bad way. It was good to hear his voice. He would have liked to speak, but he had something in his throat.

His arms were very weak, and only felt comfortable stretched out from his body. The doctors had forced them down and made him cry while he was unconscious. He moved his hands to the trachea tube and tried to pull it out, and the movement brought new tears to his eyes, but at least he didn't make a sound.

Dave caught his hand. "No, Aaron. You must leave it. It's helping you breathe."

The look of anguish in Aaron's dark expressive eyes broke Dave's heart.

"Hold on, Aaron. You'll be fine soon..."

Aaron thought about that. Would he ever be right again after what had happened? Abducted from his home, tortured and beaten over three days, without being told why? He still didn't understand.

But later...he would find out later.

It would be so easy to give up, just to lay there and die. That was what he wanted to do, give up, end the struggle.

Who would cry?

Then he thought of the people who said that they loved him – as a friend, as a lover, as a father...

He couldn't just give up. He had more to live for that many who struggled twice as hard.

He reached out to Dave with a shaking hand, and felt the warmth of his hand in his.

Yes. It was worth the fight...

END

"I can't seem to regulate his heartbeat." -- Nyland
"That's because you're incompetent. Let me have a crack at it." – Geiger