Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! And thank you to everyone who is reading! School is kicking my ass, but only a few more weeks, so weird! We'll see how that goes. It was kinda weird talking about Christmas in this fic when it's finally getting warm outside. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy! Please let me know what you think!

Thank you to: jutord, Axebird1, Guest, Guest, MissDavis92, Guest, Guest, Ellavm18, jcampbell943, shaniatasmanx, cec0020, Samantha Renk, NaeNae78, DJQ2116, 7feathers, Cindy Burick, India-Guest, RhondaL, Wiccangrrrl13, kristyall38gmailcom, shannie83, beachgirl29, tinerabrown1, decadenceofmysoul, tinaedsall, summertimeshine, tiffanblueyes05, JaraSoa2008, & GoodGirlGoneBad1984!

Enjoy!

Chapter 13: How Things Change

Tara woke up earlier the next morning feeling sore in places she had forgotten existed. The sun broke through the curtains and she took a minute to admire the scene before her. She breathed out a pleasant sigh and closed her eyes basking in the feel of Jackson Teller's arms around her. She snuggled closer to him enjoying the fact that she could just be here with him, without anything needing to be done. She didn't have to rush off to her father or take care of TJ. She could just relax with Jax and pretend they were the only two people who existed in the world. It was very rare that she could pretend these things, especially with Jax, but now that she was taking the time to admire her ex-boyfriend turned boyfriend she wondered how she'd gone so long without just laying beside him.

She forgot how beautiful he truly was. His blonde hair covered the pillow and his face looked so much more peaceful than it usually did. She moved to touch his face, but drew back in fear of ruining the perfect peace that was between them in the early hours of the morning.

"What time do we have to go get the kid?" Jax mumbled startling Tara out of her little happy bubble was currently indulging in.

She pouted, momentarily sad that the spell was broken.

"Not till later. Can we just…relax?" she asked reaching out to touch his face gently.

Jax smirked and moved closer. He wrapped his arms loosely around her body and pulled her to him. Her legs tangled with he's and she could feel the hair on his legs tickling her skin.

"I have a better idea." He mumbled and leaned forward to place a soft chaste kiss on her lips. She grinned at the unexpected gentleness of the gesture and moved closer to him wanting to be as close as possible. His kisses deepened and he massaged the seam of her lips to get her to open herself to him. Their tongues became as tangled as their legs and he rolled her onto her back so he could be on top. Her fingers ran through his hair and she moved away slightly so she could capture the scene in her brain. She stared into his bright blue eyes and let out a shakey sigh.

"I'm sorry." She whispered suddenly.

He frowned and moved back unable to concentrate properly with her scent invading his nostrils. Being too close to her always was a distraction and it seemed the more familiar they became with each other again the more difficult it was to concentrate.

"For what?" he asked equally as quiet.

She looked over his shoulder up at the ceiling and felt her cheeks begin to burn at how silly she was about to sound.

"I'm sorry for not giving you a chance." She said and cleared her throat uncomfortably, suddenly too aware of his body pressing into hers. She pushed him gently and he rolled off of her so she could sit up. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them wanting the protection just in case an argument ensued. She looked down at him anxiously.

"A chance…" he trailed off looking up at her. He felt uneasy with their unequal leveling and decided to sit up too. He didn't shield himself like Tara and he made sure they could make eye contact.

"When I was pregnant. I just…I'm sorry for not giving you a chance. I've always wondered what would happen if things had gone differently. Maybe if I was willing to stay and fight or—"

"Tara, stop. Just, stop. I don't wanna talk about this. Shit happened we were both at fault. Let's just…let's just do what we have been and enjoy this—" He made a gesture between them. "Whatever this is." He added.

She nodded and gave him a sheepish smile. "And what is this, exactly?" she asked already knowing she considered him her boyfriend. Although boyfriend wasn't enough of a word to capture what Jax was to her. He was so much more than just a boyfriend, but other than lover she couldn't think of something adequate to describe him.

"I thought we discussed this. I want to be with you. You want to be with me. From where I stand that makes us boyfriend and girlfriend." He said smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes playfully and rested her chin on her knee.

"So is that it? Or do you want to discuss something else?" he asked already reaching for her and pulling her into his lap.

She rested her head on his shoulder and laid a soft kiss on the skin of her collarbone.

"So you're my boyfriend, now? Do I have a say in this?" she whispered echoing words long ago uttered when they began dating at sixteen.

He laughed and tightened his hold on her. He knotted their fingers together and kissed the back of her hand hard as if he wanted to mark her.

"Yeah, you're my girl now and no you don't get a say. You're mine. Forever." He said with a grin repeating his own response to their long ago declarations when they were young.

She bit her lip and leaned up to kiss him needing the feel of his lips on hers before she went insane. He let his fingers graze her cheek and twist into her hair making sure he kept her as close to him as possible. He slowly moved back down to the bed and both of them became lost in one another, the love that they denied for so long finally coming to full bloom.

It was the day before Christmas Eve when Jax tentatively invited Tara and TJ over to the Teller-Morrow household for Christmas.

"It will be a lot of fun." He said noticing that Tara looked extremely hesitant.

They had, had a pleasant week together just the three of them. Jax had begun to stay the night over and TJ was enjoying getting to spend even more time with his dad. Tara was still going to visit Frank and occasionally dragged TJ along, but for the most part she didn't pressure Jax to go after the last time. She knew he didn't have too much longer to live so she was trying to take advantage of the time they had left before he was gone. When he died she didn't want any regrets and the time they were able to spend together would grant her that wish.

"Is Gemma ok with us coming?" Tara asked glancing over at TJ who was watching them curiously.

"Why wouldn't Gemma be ok with us coming?" TJ asked confused.

"Gemma…" Tara trailed off not even sure how she was going to continue that sentence.

"Mom, I think we should go. We've never had a full on family Christmas dinner." TJ said excitedly. "What happens?" he added.

Tara winced and looked down feeling guilty that she had deprived her child of a big family orientated Christmas. The truth was she never got one either, until she started dating Jax, but TJ had nagged her every year wondering if she had distant relatives they could spend Christmas with. He asked her sometimes if she even wanted to come back to Charming to celebrate with her father, but she always said no.

Now, it was different. They could go to the Teller-Morrow residence even if Tara didn't approve of SAMCRO she knew that if she and Jax were going to make this work the club would be in their lives. She knew it was high time that TJ was introduced to Gemma and the club anyway. That day in the grocery store was the first and only time TJ had met Gemma and Tara knew that wouldn't sit well with the club matron if they were now going to be in each other's lives.

"Alright, we'll go. I'm not sure what to bring though I mean—" Tara said giving Jax a anxious smile.

"It's fine, I got it." He said waving her off. A big grin formed on his face and her smile widened liking how she made him so happy.

"It's gonna be a blast, kid, you'll have fun." Jax said winking at TJ who wore a matching grin.

"Awesome. My first family Christmas." He said giddily.

Tara watched the two of them and a funny feeling began to form in her a chest. At the sight before her the tightening sensation, which began to occur more often increased and she absently rubbed at the area.

She hoped that Gemma was pleasant tomorrow and liked TJ, but mostly she hoped that TJ wasn't completely enamoured with SAMCRO to want that lifestyle for his future. She wanted what was best for her son and SAMCRO she knew wasn't it.

Later as she did the dishes and Jax told TJ stories of his various Christmas' with his family and with her when they were young, she wondered how the club would react to Jax having a son. She hoped they didn't blame her or become angry with her at hiding that fact for so long. She hoped everything worked out and she really hoped that Wendy wasn't there either or any other croweaters Jax had slept with. That wasn't how she wanted to spend her holiday.

The next day Tara found herself standing outside of the Teller-Morrow residence holding a twelve pack of beer and an Angel food cake. Even though Jax had told her not to bring any food she couldn't just show up empty handed. The cake was for Gemma and the beer was for the guys, maybe in hopes that they didn't hate her too much for, first running off, and then hiding Jax's son from him.

"Are you excited?" Tara asked quietly walking up to the door.

TJ nodded and rung the doorbell. Tara could hear the teetering of heels on the hardwood floor.

"Tara!" Luann greeted taking the cake from her. She glanced down at TJ and smiled.

"You must be Thomas, it's nice to meet you!" Luann gushed patting him awkwardly on the head.

TJ nodded, "It's TJ actually."

Tara frowned momentarily wondering how Luann would know this, but she pushed it away assuming Jax told her.

Luann let out a hoot of laughter and nodded. "Of course it is. Come in, come in." she said ushering them in.

The two of them came into the house and Tara was overwhelmed by the memories that hit her all at once. The last time she was here was when she was pregnant with TJ and trying to tell Jax. She felt suddenly nauseous at the memory of him having sex with that croweater. She tried to push it away and concentrate on the present instead.

"How are you doing? I heard you were staying in Charming." Luann said leading her to the kitchen.

"Yeah at the hospital." Tara said softly. She looked around the kitchen taking in how little things had changed. Gemma was still there ordering the croweaters around and making enough food to feed a small country.

"Tara!" Gemma called waving at her and then her face brightened when she caught sight of TJ.

"And you brought TJ!" Gemma said stopping what she was doing and moving to hug TJ.

Tara watched with astonishment as Gemma and TJ hugged and then Gemma straightened up. She looked at Tara and gave her a tight forced smile.

"Glad you could make it. Jax is in the living room with the boys." She said taking the beer in Tara's hand.

"Go say hi." Gemma said pushing her towards the other part of the house. Tara blinked rapidly wondering for a second if she walked into an alternative universe. Gemma never allowed her to go hang out with the boys it was always to help in the kitchen because Gemma didn't want Jax and Tara together. Gemma always tried to keep them apart at family events and now she was practically shoving together.

The weirdness started to increase more as they moved through the house. No one seemed surprised that TJ was there either, on the contrary people seemed to know him. When they came into the living room the room erupted with hellos to the eight year old and she wondered again whether she'd fallen into an alternative universe. It was like they had already met him or something.

"Do you want anything?" Jax asked when she came to stand in front of him.

He was sitting on an armchair looking for all the world like the Prince of Charming.

Tara shook her head and then looked down at TJ who had been stopped by Clay to talk to him about some thing. She narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to say something when Juice came over and handed her a beer.

"You look like you need one." Juice said grinning at her.

Tara took it absently and turned back to Clay who was handing TJ a present.

"Hey, I think that's my job. She's my girlfriend." Jax said standing up and wrapping an arm around her.

Juice grinned, "We bonded that night when you were passed out."

"I think she enjoys us better." Tig said coming to stand near them. Tig winked at Tara and Jax glared.

"I can guarantee she likes me more. I even have proof." Jax said nodding at TJ who was now being cornered by Piney.

"Kids don't mean anything. I got two and I could give a shit about the mother." Tig said scoffing.

Tara snorted and drank some of her beer attempting to loosen up. She hadn't seen some of these people in years and she didn't even know some others, but she couldn't seem to just relax. Maybe it was because she knew what they really did to make money or maybe it was because she'd seen the dark side of SAMCRO. Whatever the reason was she had to keep in mind that this was Jax's family and if she wanted to be with Jax she'd need to accept SAMCRO, didn't Gemma tell her that years ago.

"Tara!" Piney said waving her over.

Tara smiled at Jax and moved away, but Jax pulled her back and planted a big kiss on her lips before letting her go. She rolled her eyes at his obvious possessiveness, but she couldn't deny enjoying it. She knew it was to show the other guys who she belonged to, she'd been down that road with him many times before, but sometimes she thought he just wanted to kiss her because he loved her and wanted to.

"You have one smart boy here." Piney said nodding down at TJ who was grinning.

"Thanks. How're you doing, Piney?" she asked smoothing TJ's hair down and resting her hand on his shoulder.

"Cancer, you?"

Tara frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Piney waved it off. "I heard you took the job at St. Thomas."

Tara nodded.

"She starts after New Years." TJ piped in.

"How's your dad? I've been to see him a few times." Piney said quietly.

Tara looked down at her bottle and sighed. "He's…really sick." She said quietly.

Piney nodded. "You know he's a pretty dark man, you're father, but I know when you told him you finally achieved your dream…well I'd say he's very proud of you. I am too, when Jax—"

"Dinner's ready!" Gemma yelled clapping her hands to get everyone's attention.

Piney smiled at Tara and clinked her glass before moving away. Tara watched him go sadly feeling finally that she was calming down enough to fit in with this family again. Once upon a time when Jax and her were dating the first time she had no trouble fitting in, but now that she'd left, came back, and brought a kid…it was harder. Talking to Piney always made her feel better and this time was no different. She stopped on the way to the dining room to talk with Opie and Donna and ask how they were doing. She made plans with Donna and Opie for New Years knowing that TJ had become attached to their kids and Jax would enjoy spending time with Opie.

Tara and Donna had always gotten along and Tara was more than grateful that Donna was there for her to talk to. When they were in high school the four of them would hang out all the time. Tara and Donna bonded over the love of SAMCRO men and being the only girls that weren't croweaters or wannabe croweaters. Donna knew what it was like to be with a man who was part of the club.

Tara guided TJ to the table and they managed to grab a chair before everyone else took their seats. Jax sat beside Tara next to Clay and Gemma sat on Clay's other side. Dinner began and the atmosphere was noisy and everyone was yelling over everyone else. TJ was sitting next to Opie's kids so he talked to them for awhile and Jax and Tara played footsie under the table as they talked to Gemma, Clay, and Tig. Soon dinner was over and dessert was served. Tara had even started to wonder why she had felt so hesitant to come since she was enjoying herself. She forgot how family oriented SAMCRO was.

She got up to help clean the dishes and to bring dessert out. It was just Gemma and her in the kitchen as they began to pile the dishes into the sink. Luann and Donna and some other women continued to collect the dishes and the plates to bring to them as they began to clean.

"You know I didn't think you'd come." Gemma said as they stood at the sink.

"Why?" Tara asked.

"Because I know how you feel about this."

"What? Family?" Tara asked smartly.

Gemma gave her a look a thrust a pot into her hands to dry off.

"Thomas Jackson is a really special kid, Tara. You did good with him."

Tara gave her an incredulous look and nodded.

"Thanks. It was…it was difficult. I mean, it is difficult. Going to school, working, taking care of an infant." Tara said quietly remembering how much she cried in those initial first years.

"You didn't have to do it alone, baby. You chose that path. I told you when you left you had to fight for Jax. Are you going to fight for him now?"

Tara looked up at her and eyed her uncertainly.

"Yes, yes, I am."

Gemma nodded, "Good. Every kid needs a father, Tara, you should know that."

Tara bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from retorting the way she wanted.

"You know, maybe TJ should come to the garage more often too. I know Jax is having fun watching him, but Jax has a life too. I wouldn't mind watching him again." Gemma said after a lengthy silence.

Tara's head snapped up at the word 'again' and she opened her mouth to say something when Luann came bustling in and dropped off more plates before leaving the kitchen.

"Again?" she asked blinking rapidly.

"Yeah, Jax brought him buy a few weeks ago. Lowell and I watched him. He's an inquisitve kid. I never had so many questions asked of me by someone who wasn't the police. The boys liked him though, he's a trip." Gemma said oblivious to the frozen expression on Tara's face.

"When was this?" Tara asked softly. She felt the anger bubbling in her stomach the white-hot heat burned her stomach.

Gemma shrugged, "Couple weeks ago. Jax had church and asked me to watch him. He seemed to really like the garage. Completely fascinated by the bikes and the club."

Tara cleared her throat to try to control the blaze in her stomach, but it didn't subside only worsened as Gemma continued talking.

She had told Jax explicitly to keep TJ away from the club. It was about the fact that he had went behind her back and then lied to her. She briefly wondered if he asked TJ to lie to her too. She felt angry and betrayed. She wanted to go back out to the dining room and yell at Jax for keeping this from her. She wanted to hit him for going behind her back. She wanted to do anything except stand in this kitchen and clean dishes with Gemma.

If they had talked about it before hand she wouldn't have cared as much, as long as he understood where she was coming from, but it seemed like he had purposefully done something he knew would piss her off and for what? To show off his son to a bunch of bikers? To prove that TJ was more like him? To show him his future as the next SAMCRO leader?

Lastly, why hadn't he told her? Or at the very least called to tell her he couldn't take TJ? Why had he taken TJ to the one place she asked he not go and how could he put his child in danger like that?

She had been at the clubhouse during police raids, during gun fights, during drug deals, what if that happened and TJ was there? What if TJ had eaten something or drank something with something toxic in it? What if he wandered off and started playing with the guns? She knew he wasn't a toddler or baby, but he was eight and curious and could very well have accidentally shot himself with a stray gun laying around. It happened all the time. She bit her tongue until she felt the coppery taste of blood. The anger swirled in her stomach like a pack of rabid dogs.

She wasn't sure how she got through the rest of the conversation or how she finished cleaning the dishes. She didn't know how she sat through the rest of dinner and forced a smile or how Jax didn't even notice her odd behavior. She didn't know how she drove home with TJ chatting away happily or how she put him to bed with so much anger coursing through her.

She sat on the couch and wondered how to approach this with Jax because starting a new relationship on deceit wasn't what she wanted. They were supposed to be starting fresh, but it just seemed as if they were falling right back into old destructive patterns. She waited for him as the anger ate away at her and tried to form words to make him understand where she was coming from, but all she could think about was Jax lying to her because it wouldn't be the first and she knew it wouldn't be the last.

(A/n: So what do you guys think?! Next up is Tara and Jax's big fight! I will try to update asap! Please review!)