"Morning guys, where's Liv?" Fitz asked as became down to breakfast to see that everyone was already up and eating with the exception of Liv.
"She's gone for her morning jog, she said to let you sleep for as long as you can." Karen answered. They were all aware that Fitz rarely slept and the only reason why he was able to sleep was because of Liv's close vicinity. Gerry handed him the plate of pancakes and bacon Liv had placed in the oven for him.
They were all due to leave that afternoon. He and Teddy were heading home and dropping Karen and Gerry off to London along the way. Between Tom, Jack and Huck they had managed to keep their presence in Paris undetected. All the world knew was that the president was in a France location spending some quality time with his children. They had pre-taken photos before they left the White House of different circumstances that Cyrus had been periodically releasing to the press.
Bellie jumped out of her seat and climbed into Fitz's lap. Fitz dropped his lips to the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her middle. A familiar ache invaded his heart knowing that he would have to leave his Pope girls once more and he didn't know when he would be able to see them again. The mere thought had him giving Bellie another squeeze.
Gerry had filled two of Olivia's to go thermo cups with coffee and placed it in front of Fitz. Fitz looked up and met Gerry's eyes understanding what he was suggesting.
"Hey Bellie Boo, why don't we get you showered and dressed?" Karen suggested taking her queue. Holding her arms out to Bellie who climbed out of Fitz's lap to join her sister.
"And you too little man." Gerry said to Teddy ruffling his hair affectionately.
Fitz stood to his feet and took the coffees with him and walked down the stretch of the beach knowing he'd find her by the dunes. He stood a way away and watched her for a few minutes as she sat there clearly lost in her thoughts. She never failed to take his breath away.
Olivia needed to clear her head. She wasn't prepared for how much she didn't want Fitz to leave. For a few days their family had seamlessly co-existed in a surreal alternate universe where their being together as a family was the norm and despite her quest for self preservation she had bought into it. Now that he was leaving again, it left a somewhat familiar bitter taste to her mouth, stolen moments was all they seemed to have and as close as they got to almost, almost was never enough. The closer Fitz got to the end of his term, the more worried she got about what Mellie would do to ensure that they would remain apart. What measures she would go through fearing for her daughters well being. Mellie played a mean game and she didn't care who she brought down. It was one thing to go after her, but Olivia wouldn't put it past Mellie to aim right for her child knowing that's where she would hurt her the most. Isobel was smart and she was at the age where she is coherent of her surroundings. When she was little it was easier to distract her from the papers plastered with her father's pictures with his other family. Now that she was bigger it was a little harder to conceal. She'd caught Isobel staring at an American newspaper transfixed on the photo of the father she could never claim as hers. Pictures of him, Mellie and Teddy together always evoked a quietness in her that worried Olivia. The last thing Olivia needed was for Bellie to see herself being referred to as America's First Bastard Child. She shuddered at the thought of having to explain the word bastard to her almost seven year old daughter. She was thankful that Fitz had managed to keep her location under wraps. Having so little to do with her children, Mellie never bothered to ask them exactly where they spent most of their weekends and whom with. Mellie left the parental roll call to Fitz who always knew where his children were.
Olivia knew she loved Fitz. God knows she tried to stop but never could quite shake him off and most days it's truly annoying trying to not feel something you clearly do. She promised him she'd wait for him, knowing that even if she didn't want to, her heart always found its way back to him.
Olivia looked up in surprise as he handed her a coffee as he sat down beside her. She gave him a small smile realising that she had been gone noticeably long enough. Fitz didn't speak as he stared out into the ocean. Olivia could see that his mind too was racing and the look on his face projected the heartache that she felt inside. Olivia brought her lips to his shoulder and looked at him knowing he was looking for reassurances too. Fitz turned his head to look at her, her eyes offered what little confidence she had, but most of all it showed her love for him despite the fear she felt within. He placed his lips on her forehead, wrapping his arms securely around her.
"We're in this together," he vowed.
"We're in this together," she replied with a nod resting her forehead against the crook of his neck as she snuggled deeper into his embrace.
"I don't want you to go." Olivia admitted not only to him but to herself. Fitz tightened his hold on her,
"I don't want to go either. You said so yourself, not long to go."
"I know. I do. I just don't know how to resume life without you after the sneak peak we've had these past few days. Knowing that when I come downstairs there you'll be, with our kids, just here."
"Me too. I can't wrap my head around the fact that when I leave here today I'll be leaving without my heart once more because my heart will always be where you are."
"And mine will always be where you are." Olivia sighed as she sat up and out of his embrace,
"Livi?"
"Hmmmm," was her only reply. Fitz brushed the loose strand of hair away from her face as she remained unmoving and not saying anything.
"Is it always going to be this hard?" She asked out loud.
"I hope not Baby, but no matter how tough it gets we'll get through it as long as we're together." Olivia nodded allowing him to pull her back into his arms savoring the moment. Not long after they walked back to the house hand in hand.
Olivia had cooked a feast of their favourites for lunch which was a tradition she had with the older Grant kids when they were over for the weekend or holidays. She loved to cook for them and enjoyed having them in the kitchen helping her as she prepared. Fitz watched them in fascination as she, Gerry and Karen worked in unison in the kitchen. Even Teddy as Bellie had a task which was to pull the ends off the green beans, stir batter and whatever tasks there were that didn't include knives. Fitz could tell that Gerry, Karen and Bellie's love for good food and cooking had come out of the traditions she had put in place by getting them involved in the kitchen. He'd spent a couple of hours on the phone with Cyrus working in her study as they prepared lunch. There was a somberness in the air that lingered as they all knew what was ahead. Fitz walked into the kitchen and placed a hand on Olivia's waist giving her cheek a quick kiss,
"What can I do?"
"Bellie Boo why don't you and Teddy show Daddy how to set the table?" Bellie looked up from her finished task and nodded before jumping off the kitchen counter closely followed by Teddy who had quickly become Bellie's shadow and protector. It reminded Karen so much of her and Gerry when they were little. Fitz smiled after them and gave Olivia a brief squeeze before he followed them out.
"They've gotten extremely close these last few days," Gerry observed happily,
"Yeah I think your Dad won't be the one she will not want to part with this time around." Olivia pointed out with a chuckle,
"I'm just glad they get along and that Teddy finally feels like he has someone. She's great with him Liv, she tempers his mood like you do with Dad."
"I hardly temper your father's mood."
"Yeah right Liv, whatever gets you through the day." Karen teased, giving her shoulder a light nudge.
"Is that right?" She replied wrapping her arms around Karen who squirmed knowing Liv knew her tickle weak spots,
"I take it back. Gerry has no idea what he's talking about." She yelped at Liv poked her gently on the side. Fitz walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later to find Gerry chasing after Liv and Karen.
"Should there be running in the kitchen?" He asked amused,
"Loosen up Grandpa." Liv retorted,
"Is that right?" He asked with a familiar teasing glint in his eyes. Fitz leapt towards her as she shrieked bolting to the other side of the room. Just before Fitz reached her Bellie had walked into the kitchen. Olivia wrapped her arms around Bellie and grinned up at Fitz knowing he couldn't very well tackle her with Bellie in her arms,
"That's low," he muttered.
"Bellie honey you want to help Mommy with lunch? You too little man." She said looking at Teddy who nodded and followed her.
"Outplayed Dad." Gerry said patting his father on the shoulder.
"Always," he agreed though not at all minding.
They were just finishing up lunch when Liv rose from her chair to grab something from the other room. When she came back she handed Teddy a wrapped present.
"This is from Bellie,"
"And Mommy," Bellie added,
"Open it." Teddy looked at his Dad who nodded his consent. Teddy's eyes grew wide to see a mini iPad in his hands,
"It's so you and I can talk anytime. Hucky fixed it for us." Teddy's eye brimmed with grateful tears and threw his arms about Bellie and then Liv.
"Thank you," he murmured as she bent down to his level to give him a proper hug.
"You're welcome. We love you little man. You will always have a place in our house okay?" Teddy tightened his grip around her neck laying his head on her shoulder. Without releasing him she stood to her feet and sat down on the chair with Theordore Grant wrapped around her. Bellie walked over to Fitz who pulled her to his lap hugging her close and tight. All of a sudden the reality of their leaving was undeniable. They had all grown accustomed to their borrowed time. Olivia rubbed Teddy's back soothingly with one had while keeping her other arm wrapped tightly around him. She met Fitz's eyes and it mirrored the pain and sorrow in hers. Gerry and Karen stood to their feet to start clearing the table giving Fitz and Olivia some semblance of a private moment. Gerry kissed the top of Liv's head as he passed her, almost wishing they were all leaving at the same time knowing how quiet the house would be once they were all gone.
Not long after they had to get ready to leave. Fitz had packed the night before so he could maximize the time he had with Olivia as Bellie and Teddy had become inseparable he wasn't as worried about her as he normally would be. He sensed that Olivia had been trying to put some physical distance between them all day, which is why he couldn't find her after he had brought his bags down. When he stepped out of the back door he saw Huck standing across the yard who put his finger to his lips and silently pointed up. Fitz looked up an saw Bellie's treehouse and mouthed a thank you to Huck. They still had a little bit over an hour before they had to leave and be hoped that was enough time, but then again nothing would be long enough till they no longer had to say goodbye. Fitz found Olivia in the corner of the treehouse wiping away tears as she heard someone climb up the ladder.
"Oh sweetheart," he said immediately pulling her in his arms.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to blubber all over you. I know it's hard for you too. I didn't want you to see me like this."
"Hey, we're in this together. The image of you crying may break my heart but I want to know how you're feeling because I want to make it better. Or at least try." Olivia wrapped her arms around his middle, clinging so tightly to him knowing that she probably wouldn't see him again till after his term especially if they wanted to remain under the radar. For the first time she had shown him just how vulnerable she felt.
"Oh Liv, honey. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry it has to be like this. I'm sorry that I have spent eight years forcing you to wait. To love from afar. I'm so sorry we have spent more time apart than together. I'm sorry I've made you feel that all we have is stolen moments. You are the love of my life and I am sorry that my actions have never matched the words I've declared. I'm so sorry Liv. I wish I had been a better man and let you live your life without me to give you a shot at happiness instead of eight years of uncertainty. Baby I'm so sorry." Her heart ached as she looked up and saw the tears in his eyes as he spoke. Olivia tightened her already firm grip around him,
"Fitz, if I wanted anyone else I wouldn't have needed your blessing. I would have found a way. All we may have are stolen moments up to this point, but I wouldn't trade any of those moments for a life time of half living with someone who was just close enough. It may have been complicated navigating your relationship with Bellie but she needed to know you. However she may feel about it in the future, she'll never not have wanted to get to know you and spend the time she was able to spend with you, even if it wasn't as much as she may have wanted to." She spoke with such sincerity that he knew she didn't harbour the resentment he feared she would and deserved to. Fitz stretched out and lay on his back taking Liv with him. She lay her head on his chest and he held her tightly against him. Liv closed her eyes and breathed him in, their hands intertwined lay on his stomach. For a moment they forced each other to pretend that it was their norm.
"We better go, you have to get going."
"I know," he replied unmoving.
"Fitzgerald," Fitz groaned. He kissed her on the temple before sitting up grumbling making Olivia chuckle.
"I love you," she said it so softly that he could have missed it. Fitz's face lit up as he spun his head around to look at her making her blush. Though he knew she loved him, it had been awhile since she had said it to him. Quite awhile. He took her face with both hands and kissed her.
"If you wanted me to get myself moving to leave that wasn't the way to go," he said as they reluctantly pulled apart breathless. Olivia laughed as she kissed him again.
"Sorry,"
"You so aren't." Fitz said shaking his head not quite as amused as she was.
"Come on Baby, lets go. Bellie would want to have some time with you." Fitz nodded kissing her once more before groaning and finally leading her out of the tree house.
"Are you okay Dad? You're looking at little flushed." Gerry asked as they walked in and then it was as though a light had flicked on,
"Oh eww, don't answer."
"Gerry that's gross." Karen said as she came down the stairs with her bags. Olivia blushed willing the floor to swallow her whole,
"Seriously you two stop. Nothing happened." Olivia begged stepping out of Fitz's embrace making the rest of them laugh.
"Sorry Liv." Karen said walking over to give her a hug.
"No you're not, but I love you anyway." Liv replied hugging her back.
"Where are the little ones?" She asked,
"They're in Bellie's room. I think you both should go up there. It's going to be a mission separating them. Gerry and I didn't have the heart to tell them we have to go soon." Liv nodded and headed up the stairs while Fitz followed close behind.
"I don't want to go." Teddy confessed to his little sister.
"I don't want you to go either. Maybe Mommy can keep you too."
"You think?" Teddy said hopefully. Taking that as her queue Liv entered Bellie's room. She walked right over to Teddy and pulled him into her lap as they sat on Bellie's bed.
"You know, if it was my choice I'd keep you because I love you up to the moon and back again."
"Like Bellie?" He said turning so that he faced her.
"Every bit baby." Liv promised.
"Why?"
"Because you're you. You're smart, you're funny, you're protective and you're loyal. You're also a part of your Dad, Gerry, Karen and Bellie and I love them very much. So I love you very much."
"Liv,"
"Yeah little man,"
"I love you too." He admitted quietly, wrapping his arms around her neck.
"I don't want to go. My mommy doesn't love me the way you love Bellie, or even the way you love me."
"Oh buddy," Liv said hugging him tightly looking up at Fitz with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sure your Mommy loves you every bit as much as I do. She just loves differently. I know you don't want to go, but Daddy would be lonely without you. Daddy loves you so much and he'd be lost without you."
"We can both stay here." He said brightly looking at her making smile. She pulled him into another hug and rubbed his back,
"One day soon sweetheart. Not just yet. I promise one day."
"You don't make promises." He said suspiciously pulling back just enough to look at her.
"I said I don't make promises I can't keep." She corrected caressing his cheek. Satisfied with the answer Teddy resumed hugging her as she looked over at Fitz knowing he needed to hear it too.
"Dad, the car's here." Gerry said regretfully as he entered the room. Bellie dropped Fitz hand and turned away from him. Fitz dropped to his knees to be in her eye level. Olivia felt for her daughter, to her all he did was leave. The older she got the more she interpreted it as his other family was more important for reasons she couldn't quite understand.
"Daddy has to go sweetheart," his eyes and voice pleaded for her to understand. Whatever headway they had made in the last few days was made blurry by the fact that he was leaving again.
"Daddy always has to go." She said not so much in anger but resolve, which seemed worse somehow.
"It's okay." She said with defeated shrug. She knew that there was nothing she could do to change the circumstance. She walked over and sat next to Liv. Who ran a hand through her daughters hair and dropped a kiss on her head not releasing the little boy in her arms that remained wrapped around her. Fitz looked at her desperately not wanting to leave Bellie in that state.
"Teddy buddy, do you want to come and make sure we haven't left any of your toys downstairs?" Gerry said peeling a reluctant Teddy off Olivia. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and promised to see him downstairs shortly. Liv draped an arm around her daughter.
"Baby, we talked about this." Olivia reminded her gently.
"Daddy came all this way to see you because he loves you so much, but we knew he was never going to stay." Fitz's heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds,
"Daddy doesn't have long to go Baby and you can see him as much as you want once he's finished his job. For now you have to let Daddy go, but you know Daddy wont leave with you mad at him and he can't stay baby. It'll make him so sad if he has to leave you like this. You don't want Daddy to be sad do you?" Bellie looked at Olivia, then Fitz before back to Olivia again shaking her head. Fitz walked over to Bellie,
"Not long to go Baby Girl and I'm all yours. Till then know that it breaks Daddy's heart not to be with you and Mommy. I love you both so much."
"I love you too Daddy. It's okay. You can go. I'm not mad." She said bravely. If there was ever any doubt she was Olivia's daughter, that moment shattered such implication. She was so strong just like her mother. What scared Fitz was the day would come when she would no longer need or want for him anymore as she got used to not having him around. It was why it was so important to him that they spoke so often. There were so few that were his non negotiable and all of them were linked to his children. All four of them. Fitz picked her up and Bellie wrapped her whole body around him laying her head on his shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you my little princess."
"I'm going to miss you too Daddy." She replied. Olivia rose from where she sat.
"You better get going. It's getting late." She reminded him gently. He nodded cupping her face with his hand. Olivia kissed his palm before slipping her hand into it.
To say that their goodbye was epic would be an understatement. Though Gerry and Karen would more than likely be back in a few days for the weekend, it was the first time they were saying goodbye as a family. Somehow it defined the divide between the two families.
"We'll call you when we get home Liv," Gerry promised somewhat unnecessarily as it was standard practice. Karen pried Teddy away from Liv's arms, and Huck took Bellie from Fitz so that Olivia and Fitz could say their own goodbyes. With one last hug to Liv, all the Grant kids hopped in the car and Huck had taken Bellie inside.
"Bye Livi,"
"Goodbye Mr President." She said tearfully as she looked up at him, his arms wrapped around her waist.
"I love you." He declared resting his forehead against hers,
"I'm scared that one day you'll realise that you and Bellie have been so short changed that you deserve better, and you'll have enough. You'll stop loving me. It scares me that the little girl in there that I love so much has lived through so much of my disappointing her that she'll just have enough. That when everything is finally possible you won't be here anymore and I wouldn't blame you." He confessed tearfully.
"Fitz, we'll be here. We're in this together. We'll wait." She assured him taking his face with both hands looking right at him before bringing her lips to his.
"I love you too. Now go" she said giving him a light push. Fitz only tightened his arms around her bringing her closer to him.
"Fitz,"
"I'm going." He said with a defeated sigh. He kissed her once more before climbing into the car to join his children. Olivia stayed in standing in front of the house till the car had exited her gate.
Huck stayed long enough to keep Bellie distracted till bedtime. After they put her to bed she handed Huck a beer.
"You mind?" She said picking up the remote control while he shook his head. Liv turned it on to the news and saw exactly what she thought she would. Doting father, the President of the United States getting off Air Force One in London with his three kids after spending a few days with them at an unknown location. They had said their goodbye at the Tarmac. A car had come to pick up Gerry and Karen to take them home. It was hard to miss the love between the four of them. There was no fabricating the bond they shared. After hugging his kids goodbye, Fitz and Teddy walked up the stairs of Air Force One bound for home. Fitz stopped at the top as he always did to wave. Fitz turned his head and looked right into the camera and Olivia's heart skipped a beat knowing he was looking at her. As he smiled, she read the sadness in his eyes. She knew it was sadness from having to say goodbye to his kids, her and Bellie knowing it would be awhile till he saw them all again. Liv swallowed the familiar lump in her throat trying to hold it together. Huck got up and placed a hand on her shoulder before heading back to his place knowing she needed the time alone to process. Olivia loved that he knew her so well. Olivia turned the TV off and headed to bed. Just as she had changed into her PJ's the phone rang,
"Hey you," she answered knowing it would be him.
"Hi Baby..."