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Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews, each and everyone of them means so much to me and inspires me to write chapter after chapter. Without you, there would be no story. I hope you enjoy this story, and please review.

-Lily


"So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you forever, you and me, everyday. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me, 30 years from now, 40 years from now. What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once; I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out." –Noah, The Notebook.


She could feel the wheel underneath her, bumping along the road. But that was all she could feel. It was easier to think those thoughts about their friendship ending, when she still had him, but now, it was hard to even remember how she got there. She couldn't say 'hey' and pretend anything was okay, she couldn't get him alone and apologize. Although she didn't deserve that, the way she acted, she deserved nothing more than what she was given.

The back of the bus sounded with enthusiasm, the Tree Hill Ravens taking home 1st place. It was expected, but still called for a celebration nonetheless. That's why she situated herself towards the front of the middle, not wanting to be around him, the center of it all.

It seemed like the right idea, ending their friendship because of her feelings, and things he may or may not do. Every guy was capable of cheating, just like every girl was. She judged him on a person she barely even knew, she didn't appreciate the guy that he was, the guy he had been for most of their relationship. She looked for any flaw to break away before she could be broken. It was the easy way out, and now she would suffer. She would never have Lucas in her life, at least not like he had been.


"Hey Davis." The name popped her head from the window, the familiar voice almost causing a smile on her face, but not quite. The pitch was too wrong for that to happen.

"Hey Nathan," Brooke said as he plopped down next to her, getting comfortable as he placed her arm over the back of the bus seat.

"Why so down?" he asked, but she only shrugged, leaning to put her head along the cool window, relishing the feeling as it calmed her headache. Her cold was almost gone, but staying up the whole night, tears draining relentlessly from her eyes, did nothing to stop the pounding of her temples.

"Just tired I guess, I didn't get much sleep last night," she said honestly, not going into details.

"Lucas?" He asked sympathetically and she looked at him incredulously. How had he known?

"Lucas mentioned it," he said, answering her unspoken question and she nodded, of course he did.

"I didn't mean," she began, her voice wavering, but she stopped to compose herself.

"Brooke Davis, don't you dare cry over Lucas. You made a decision. You told him you didn't want to be friends and you need to deal with it and accept it. Why, if you don't mind me asking, did you tell him that?" Nathan asked curiously.

"Um," she began, brushing her hand through her hair. "Its kinda personal," Brooke said, not wanting to go into details.

"Brooke, when did we start hiding things from each other?" Nathan attempted seriously, but soon broke out into laughter by the look on Brooke's face. They were friends, but not the type that told each other secrets in the depth of the night or professed their fears when only the moon glowed behind the clouds. Their friendship didn't break any surfaces or cross any lines, it was simple and fun, until now of course.

"Well in that case Nathan Scott. Please tell me about the girl that won't give you the time of day," Brooke joked, not expecting the shocked face Nathan exhibited, nor the response he gave.

"What?" Nathan choked out.

"Oh I was just joking," Brooke said and Nathan nodded.

"Yeah so was I," he confirmed but Brooke just looked at him, knowing there was a fib in there but she didn't call him out on it. If there was something he didn't want her to know, there was no reason she should pester him. After all, some things are meant to be secrets.

"I told Lucas I couldn't be friends with him because I had feelings for him," she blurted out, catching him by surprise that was obviously not what he was expecting when Lucas came in angry because Brooke decided they shouldn't be friends.

"You what?" he asked, with emotions that Brooke couldn't identify, but that was probably because she wasn't paying close attention.

"It's weird, you know, to find that you like a friend, to find that those feelings of comfort and support go deeper, to find that those feelings touch an undiscovered surface. It's strange and exhilarating, to a point and then, the emotions get too much. I started to see him as more; always more, and I knew that I would single-handedly destroy the relationship given the opportunity because I would do something stupid. I would let my emotions take control and I didn't want that to happen. So I broke clean, hoping that he could understand. I was afraid, Nathan. I knew that if it got too far, one of us would get hurt and everything we had worked for, everything would be wasted, and I love him too much for that," her voice cracked, not meeting Nathan's eyes as his hand stroked her shoulder comfortingly. "I figure that if he comes back it was meant to be, and if he finds another life with another girl, than I will live my life, hoping that maybe we can find friendship buried in the years. It was the easy way out, not to get hurt," Brooke finished.

"It's okay, Brooke," Nathan said, it was all he could really think of, as a tear traced a line down her face, meeting the fate as so many before it as it fell off her chin, splashing below.

"I wish I could just take it back, tell him that I would rather be his friend than nothing, you know."

"Yeah," Nathan pondered before he continued. "Like I said before, it was your decision and its how you deal with it, that's what matters. You can mope and cry for what you lost or you can dry your tears and remember that days go on. You didn't lose him forever, its Lucas, he'll be back and you will wish he would just disappear," Nathan chuckled, watching the slow smile appear on Brooke's face.

"Yeah," she said, her voice lost in the future.

"But it's okay to be sad, just don't cry. I don't like to see you cry, you're much to pretty for that," Nathan said, causing Brooke to look up, a blush gracing her cheeks.

"Nathan," she said softly and he shook his head.

"Hey, you worry about Lucas, I'll worry about cheering you up," Nathan said, and he meant it. He would be there if she needed to cry and he would be there with a joke book in hand, trying to make the best of a situation that she could see no light in.


"So Lucas, my parents are gone," Jessica smiled, resting her hand on his thigh, flickering her lashes.

"Be sure to set the alarm then, don't want anyone breaking in," Lucas replied, distracted by the brunette heads situated many seats ahead of him.

"Well if you want to come in, then maybe you could set the alarm for me," Jessica suggested.

"You know Jessica, I'm not sure I can do that," Lucas said, his mind whirling and twirling. He could swear he heard a little laughter escape her lips, but she was much to far away for that to be real. There was no way he would be able to hear her over the clamor of the back of the bus.

"Why not Lucas? I felt like we haven't hung out in so long," Jessica complained, wanting desperately for Lucas to give in.

"Yeah, I've been kinda busy," he brushed it off. He had been busy because he had been trying with Brooke. But now that was over and girls were going to start to wonder what he was doing in his free time. Good thing girls gossip and lie about sleeping with Lucas or else they might have figured out that he hadn't slept with a girl in a little over 2 months. But he let them live their lies because it allowed him to simply live.

"You can be busy with me," Jessica said and it was the first time Lucas had ever realized how truly desperate these girls were. They used him just as he used them, and for the first time, it stung a little. They knew nothing about him, his favorite color or that he broke his arm twice in one summer, once at the beginning and the other time, 2 weeks after the first cast came off. They didn't know him and he wondered if they even cared.

"Do you know my favorite color, Jess?" Lucas asked; her face surprised. He watched the thoughts filtering through her mind, her eyes uneasy as she shifted in her seat.

"Blue?" she asked, looking into his eyes and Lucas closed them for a moment.

"Green." He said simply. Not that lime green; no that was too much of a girl color for him, but forest green, it was perfect. It was natural, a color occurring all around him, putting him at peace.

"Isn't that what I said?" Jessica asked.

"Do you know anything about me, Jessica?" Lucas countered and she nodded.

"I know that you play basketball," she said as if it was the most obvious thing, and it was. Everyone in the state that followed high school basketball knew about Lucas Scott, his statistics, his position, and everything else that went along with it.

"But you don't know anything about me," Lucas said to himself. "And I don't know anything about you." He thought about how much he knew about Brooke compared to girls he had slept with. There was something about her, something that drew him to her and captured him. She was like a book with an intricate cover and a summary on the back page that forced him to open to the first page. Once there, he was caught in a world and there was no escape. There was so much to learn and so much to figure out. Brooke Davis was his favorite book.

"I can tell you about me," Jessica said but Lucas only shook his head.

"No," he said simply and excused himself, walking along the isle towards Brooke. He was going to fight for her and show her that they could be in a relationship, that there was nothing to fear. She would be in his arms, protected, and he was going to show her that, that was where she would want to be. He was not going to force her, but rather show her, make her want to be with him.

But he stopped half way. The last time he had talked to her, he had blown up at her, yelling at her for leading him on. He had been more sad than angry at that point, but it was easier to yell than to be vulnerable and admit that she hurt him more than he thought was possible.

He didn't want to risk losing every chance he had with her because he said something the wrong way. So he would write it, all his thoughts and feelings, until they were perfect. She didn't want him, but he would fight for her, that's all he could do. And if she left him, truly left him with her heart, not with just her words, then he would let her go.


Brooke,

Before I met you, I was a different person. I enjoyed the luxuries my parents supplied me and I used my name or my face or my reputation to get the rest. I never had to rely on the person inside of me; I was never forced to find out who that person was. I was afraid that maybe that person wouldn't be accepted, and then I would be left with nothing. I wasn't sure what would hurt more, losing everything I had, but being the person I truly was, or never finding that person and always being who I was known to be.

But then I bumped into you and in the beginning you were just another girl. You were someone that I would sleep with and then probably never talk to again. But then you spoke, and you ignored me. You ignored me for the person I was, the person that everyone knew me as. It annoyed me in the beginning to find that maybe I was losing my charm. But there was a string of hope, and I thought, maybe you would be the person to find who I was. You weren't caught up in me, and I thought that maybe if you weren't 'captured' by my looks, then you would search for something I didn't want anyone to find, and you exploit that. That scared me Brooke Davis. So I figured that if somehow I got you to notice me, then you would just see what everyone else saw, I wouldn't have to worry about another person coming out.

Somehow, somewhere, I lost those intentions. I got caught up in you, something that had never happened to me before. Suddenly you weren't just a prize, but a treasure. You were no longer someone to be captured but someone to be won. I wanted to know you, everything about you, and a part of me, wanted the same. I found myself wanting you to know the real me. But it was scary. Things would leak out and I would try to judge your reaction, and then immediately close up again, not wanting you to see something you didn't like. All of a sudden, your reactions and emotions, thoughts and cares… they became very important in my life. But you stuck around, you always stuck around, and that made me hope that maybe someone could accept that I liked to read and write more than play basketball and party.

You denied who I was, but you accepted who I could be, who I was meant to be all along. And when you showed up at that dinner, a thousand words could not express what I felt at that moment. It was as if, there was a chance. You amazed me, Brooke. Everything you did and I found myself wishing that I were sitting with my real girlfriend, not someone that I was pretending I was dating. I wanted you, to know everything about you, and to be with you. You have no idea how much that scared me, or maybe you do. I wanted you, but I had never felt that way. I had never chased a girl in my life, and here I was. It was if everything I was, was changing.

That is all in the past, stuff that you probably already know. But Brooke, what hasn't changed is how much I need you. I think I am strong enough, but I need you because I have no doubts about myself when you're around. I don't question whether I am good enough because you make me believe that I am. I don't want to be with any other girls, not when I can have you. You told me you had feelings for me, and hearing that maybe me think that everything was falling into place. But after the anger subsided when you told me that you couldn't be friends because of fears you had, I began to understand. You and I are more similar than either of us ever thought. We guard our hearts so they won't be hurt, we would rather leave before anyone else got the chance to break something we so rarely give away.

Your heart is something that I could only imagine holding. I would hold it before mine because seeing you hurt would kill me inside. I understand your fears, your hesitation and your uncertainty, but I'm not going anywhere. I am going to show you exactly who I can be. I don't want to lose you.

I haven't slept with another girl since we first met. I don't know what that means to you, but to me, it means you are just that important. I am not saying that to win you over, to show you 'well, you should want me because I haven't had sex in awhile.' No, that would be wrong. What I am trying to say is, I haven't wanted to sleep with another girl, think about another girl, let alone just be with another girl.

I truly believe you are the girl for me. Whether it's fate or destiny, I believe you came into my life, for a reason. I'm sorry if that scares you, the strength of my emotions, but it scares me too. I will fight for you Brooke Davis, until you realize I'm not going anywhere.

If one day you tell me that you don't want me. If you are able to look me in the eyes and with your heart, say those words, then I will leave you alone. But only know that would happen under one circumstance… I believed that's what you wanted. If you can imagine a future where I am not in it, whether as a significant other, or as a friend, let me know now, and I will leave you alone. I will remember what we had and take joy in the fact that you were able to change me. I would let you go and although that would hurt, if that's what you wanted, then I would just learn to get over it.

Just know, I am all in Brooke Davis. I am here and I'm not going anywhere.

-Lucas Scott


Author's Note: Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you thought.

-Lily


Anonymous Review Thanks:

Sara- Thank you so much. I can always count on your reviews; they are so sweet and just incredible. I am not sure you know how much I love seeing what you thought about the chapter, like I have said time and time again, many times after reading your review is when the next chapter is written. A lot of times what you say inspires me, so thank you. I try to convey an emotion through my characters and I am glad that you are able to get that. I have an image in my head and I try to imagine what someone would say, and would it be realistic in this situation. I think that each character must have a reason for doing something, and that reason cannot be because it works for the storyline. You seem to connect so well to the story and everything about it and that means so much to me, thank you. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I can never give you adequate thanks for the reviews you give me, but thank you so much because they mean a lot.

-Lily