Jennifer sleeps soundly through the night. The next morning, she's awakened by a sleepy Evan, who's asking for his mom. She goes to him so Colin won't wake but Evan wants his mom, not Jen.
"Mommy! Want mommy!" Evan yells.
Yawning and rubbing his eyes, Colin sits up, "Hmm?"
Jen walks to Colin, "He wants Helen," she says, her face a mix of hurt and worry.
"Evan, mommy is busy with your sister right now." Colin gets up and takes Evan from his crib. While Evan still wants his mom, he's alright with his dad. He just didn't want Jen right now. Of course this only made Jen sad, only made her wish she had her own child even more—one that didn't have a different mom and would only cry for her.
Once Evan was eating and watching TV downstairs, Colin went back to Jen. "You okay?" he asks, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess," she shrugs. "Are we going to see Helen today?"
Colin nods. "Yeah, you don't have to come though."
"Oh? I wanted to..." she says softly
"You may, then," he smiles.
"Do you want me to come? I understand if you don't… I mean, it's your family," she shrugs again like she doesn't care
"No, it's okay. Come," he smiles crookedly and kisses her cheek.
"Alright," one corner of her mouth turns up into a half smile. "I think we should go downstairs...Evan."
He nods. Let eat first, then we can get ready?"
"Yeah," she nods and heads downstairs.
Once Colin gets breakfast ready and served, he sits next to Jennifer. "I don't believe I got a proper kiss this morning?" he raises an eyebrow.
"I'm pretty sure I gave you a kiss," she laughs slightly.
He shakes his head with a silent chuckle, taking her face in his hands and bringing her lips to his. "Good morning," he whispers against her lips.
"Hmm..." she pulls him back to her, "now I want a proper kiss," she whispers before kissing him harder, longer. When she breaks it to catch her breath she whispers, "Good morning, babe."
"Good morning, my love," he whispers, and then presses his lips to her temple.
Jen puts her head on his shoulder briefly. Then they get to eating and getting ready to go visit Helen. In no longer than an hour, they're driving to her house, his old house. The drive is very short. Jen is nervous; she doesn't really know how it'll go for her. When they get there and park outside, she hesitates in getting out.
"You okay?" Colin asks her as he gets Evan out of his car seat.
"Yeah," Jennifer sighs, "just nervous, I guess." Helen's never really seen Colin and Jen together like they are now. And just his baby would be so hard for Jen to handle. But she wanted to do this, so she gets out of the car.
"It'll be okay." he says softly as he takes her hand and they make their way to the door.
Colin knocks and Helen doesn't take too long to answer, she had been expecting them. "Hey, come in," she says, not really taking notice of everything going on—the worry on Jen's face, the way Colin and Jen stood so close to each other and that Evan did not take his eyes away from Jen even though his mom was right there. The baby girl must be inside somewhere, as Helen is empty handed.
Colin smiles and puts Evan down once they get in, going to Helen for friendly hug. Their divorce ended on a good note, and he was glad. "How are you? And how's Madison?"
"Oh we've been fine, she loves to sleep," she laughs slightly. From a little behind Colin, Jen gives a shy smile.
Colin chuckles and they both pull away. "That's great."
Helen nods and picks up Evan, smiling at Jen. "Hey Jen."
"Hi Helen," she says softly and her smile's a bit warmer this time. "Um, Evan really misses you." Jen places her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and rocks on her heels uncomfortably.
Helen laughs a little and turns to Evan. "I miss you too buddy," she kisses his cheek.
Jen watches them and tries not to let her emotions show too much. Colin notices and walks to her. "I'm fine," she mouths.
He looks at her as if asking, you sure? It hurts him to see her in pain.
She nods slightly. Helen notices this little exchange but doesn't say anything. "Should I go get Madison?" she asks.
Colin smiles slightly and turns back to Helen, "Yes please."
Jen just smiles politely. Helen goes to get Maddie, and returns in no time with a sleeping baby in her arms. Jen lets out a small "oh" as Helen gets closer and gives the baby to Colin.
Colin smiles and holds Madison in his arms. "Hey baby girl," he whispers, kissing her forehead.
Jen watches and her desire for their own baby—for Colin to hold her baby and for them to have their own family grows. Helen notices and walks over to Jen, "are you okay?" she asks. Jennifer nods slightly, but doesn't say a word.
"You sure?" she asks softly.
Colin hears this and says, "I think she's acting up," so Helen gets distracted and Jen doesn't have to answer.
Helen goes over to get Madison and Colin looks at Jen with a concerned frown.
But Jen steps closer, "Evan told me her eyes are like Colin's," she says with a smile, trying to act normal, knowing this will hurt. Evan had told her a little about Maddie on their trip to the park the previous day.
Helen nods, rocking the baby as she starts to cry. "Yeah, she does," Helen says with a smile but is distracted.
"Maybe when she calms down a bit, I'll be able to see them?" Jennifer asks. "She's very pretty, Helen."
Helen smiles much more warmly, "Yeah, and thank you. You can hold her if you want, after?"
"Yeah, sure," Jen nods, "whenever." She steps back so she's next to Colin again.
After a while, when Madison calms down, Helen walks over to Jen to let her hold the baby.
Helen holds Madison out for Jen, and Jen takes her cautiously. She cradles her and brings her close, her eyes look at Madison in wonder.
Madison slowly opens her eyes after a few minutes and looks up at Jen, revealing her vibrant blue eyes.
Jen smiles down at her, "Hello," she says softly. "Your eyes are beautiful."
Madison just stares at Jen, there's nothing else she can do.
Jen looks up at Colin, and he steps in front of them. "Her eyes are really like yours..." she says as she looks into his eyes.
He smiles slightly, a bit sadly, "Yeah?"
"Look," she glances down before looking back up to him. An overwhelming amount of emotions tear through and show on her face.
He looks at her with the same smile still on his lips, he's about to say something but then stops, remembering that Helen is here. Madison starts crying and Helen quickly comes and takes her upstairs with Evan trailing behind. The moment they all exit the room, Colin pulls Jen into a hug.
Jen lets herself cry just a little bit on his shoulder. "I guess it's not going well, huh?" she says through her tears.
He rubs her back, kissing the top of her head. "Not as well as we could hope, but this is very understandable," he whispers.
"I'm trying," she whispers. "She looks a lot like you. I wanted a girl. That's what's so hard."
"I know you are," he whispers. "Oh, my beautiful, it's hard for me too. It'll be okay," he says slowly, holding her close.
"I love you," she whispers in his ear.
"I love you too," he whispers.
Helen comes down shortly, not making much noise. Colin and Jen are still wrapped in each other's arms. As soon as Jen sees Helen, she breaks away and wipes her tears away.
Colin looks at her questioningly but then sees Helen. "Is Madison okay?" he asks softly.
"Yeah I managed to put her to sleep. I told you she loved sleep!" she says with a smile. She had noticed there was something more going on, though.
"Just like her dad then," Jen laughs through her fading tears.
Colin chuckles softly, squeezing Jens hand. Helen looks from Jen to Colin, and back to Jen. "Everything okay?" she asks.
Evan comes up from behind Helen, "Jen!" he calls and slowly walks to her. Jen reaches for Evan and nods for Colin to tell Helen what's going on. Colin walks towards Helen and motions for her to follow him into the other room.
He sits on the couch and waits for Helen to do the same.
Once Helen sits down, Colin looks up. "I guess you've figured out something's wrong?"
"Get to it," she says. "Yeah, is there something wrong with you? With Jennifer?"
"We've been together for a while and... And we've been trying to start a family," he pauses and breaths in deeply, "She can't have a baby..."
Helen looks straight ahead, she feels bad, but she's also shocked. What are the chances someone could not conceive? Very small. So how come Jen had to be it? Helen had the best intentions for them, and she could not believe it.
Colin sighs, looking down. "It's been a hard couple of months."
"Oh, Colin I'm so sorry. Are you sure there's no way she could conceive a child?" Colin shakes his head. "And being with Evan right now…Madison…all that must hurt her. Oh I'm so sorry." Helen puts her face in her hands.
He sighs, running a hand though his hair. "I didn't want her to get hurt, but she wanted to come," he says softly.
Helen nods, "We should go get Evan," she says, worried that Evan would cause Jen more pain. "I shouldn't bring Madison down again, should I?"
He shakes his head no. "I don't think so," he frowns. But nods at getting Evan.
Helen sighs, "Okay," she leaves the room and finds her way outside, where Jen's walking around with Evan in her arms.
Evan kisses Jen's cheek. "Jen pretty!" he giggles.
Jennifer kisses his forehead, unaware of Helen behind her, but Evan sees Helen and smiles at her.
Helen frowns slightly, but brushes it off. "Hey," she calls out.
Jen turns around; a smile on her face, Evan hugged to her. The smile fades as soon as she sees Helen, "Oh, hi," she looks down.
"I'm uh... I'm really sorry about what's going on," she says, the tone of her voice showing her regret.
Jen nods, "Thank you," she smiles sadly.
Evan clings to Jen. "Love Jen," he says.
"Mhm," she smiles genuinely and looks at him. "I love you, too."
He giggles and kisses her nose. "Tired," he complains.
"Sleep," she says softly and kisses his forehead. Evan lies on her shoulder. Jen looks back up at Helen. "I'll be fine."
Helen smiles slightly and nods. "I can take Evan upstairs if you'd like?"
"Sure, if you want to," she takes him in both arms and hands him to her.
"Thanks." Helen starts to take him upstairs. "Bye Jen Jen," Evan says tiredly.
"Buh bye, baby," Jen responds sadly and follows inside to find Colin.
Colin looks at her with a sad smile when she enters. "You okay?" he asks softly.
"I'm okay," she walks towards him. "Is Helen gonna keep Evan now?"
He nods, pulling her towards him. "Yeah, she is."
"Oh okay," Jen puts her forehead on his shoulder.
"It's going to be okay, I promise." he whispers, pecking her lips softly.
"I hope so," she pecks his lips back before pulling away. "We should go?"
They have lunch right after, not much really goes on. Jennifer barely talks. At night, after dinner, she gives him a kiss on the cheek as he washes the dishes then she heads upstairs.
Colin finishes washing the dishes and sits on the couch for a few minutes to think. It's bothering her. He can tell. And that hurts him. He doesn't want to see her hurt.
She stays upstairs and soon turns on the TV. She watches The Princess Bride, one of her favorite movies. Ava comes up to her in the bed and lies by her feet.
Not too long later, Jen hears a knock on the door. Colin. She calls to him to come in. He enters and lies next to her on the bed. Jen puts her arms around him without saying a word.
He kisses her forehead, but doesn't say anything.
She snuggles to him and smiles at the comfort he brings her.
Colin smiles slightly and kisses her neck softly. She doesn't pull away, but neither does he. After a couple of minutes, he begins tugging at her shirt. Jen doesn't think he'll take it far, and she needed a little release too. She giggles and lets him continue, not realizing that this leads him on.
He brings his lips back up to hers and Jen just keeps kissing him, until he removes her shirt and cups her right breast. Her heartbeat increases. "Colin…no," she whispers and pulls back.
"I'm not ready," she says softly and places her hand on his forearm, "I'm sorry. I need time."
"No, it's okay. I should be the one apologizing..." he places a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"No you shouldn't, I get it. I really do," she smiles sadly. "You don't have to apologize."
"How about I go make some popcorn and we can finish the movie?"
"I'd like that," she nods. As soon as he leaves, she gets up and walks to the bathroom, locking herself in.
"Jen?" Colin calls when he returns and she's nowhere in sight.
She clears her throat, "I'll be right out," she says just loud enough for him to hear. She takes a deep breath and tries to stop herself from crying.
He goes to the door concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine," she responds much too quickly to be believable.
"Baby, what is it?" he leans against the wall and asks quietly.
"Nothing," she sighs. "Give me a minute. I'll be right there."
She comes put a few minutes after. Her face flushed and obviously agitated. She looks down to hide it as she climbs back on the bed where he's sitting.
Colin still notices and it hurts him, but he doesn't say anything. He knows that she needs her space. So he just offers her the popcorn.
Jen takes a little, for his sake. Then just sighs as she lies back down.
He frowns but doesn't turn the movie back on. He just watches her.
She closes her eyes. After a moment she says, "I want to Colin. But it's too much of a reminder of what I'll never be able to do."
"Hey," he says quietly, looking her in the eyes. "It's alright. I understand."
"I know you do," she nods. "Come here," she holds out her arms for him.
He pulls her into a hug. "It'll be okay."
"Yeah," she nods and kisses his cheek, making her way to his mouth, "I can still kiss you, though."
He chuckles, bringing his lips to hers, "Sounds good to me."
She giggles. "I love you," she whispers against his lips. After a few more minutes of that, she pulls away and sighs contently.
Colin says, "Want to go out tonight? Since you'd rather not do other things?" He smiles at her, biting his lips. "We can go out for dinner if you'd like."
She turns to look at him and smiles genuinely. "I'd like that, should I get ready?"
He nods and kisses her softly before she gets up and heads to the shower, her face was still a mess from the momentary breakdown earlier.
Colin quickly goes to the other shower, and then gets dressed.
Jennifer puts on a black, tight and short dress. Quickly she tries to get some waves in her hair before coming out of the bathroom, red lips and rosy cheeks.
He puts on a pair of nice black slacks and a light blue top before going to her. He smiles when he sees her. "You look stunning."
She glances down at him, from his feet, she looks up to his gorgeous blue eyes and bites her lower lip, "Mhmm, so do you."
He smiles and kisses her cheek before taking her hand. "Let's go."
Sorry for not updating sooner, but you know... school :/ I hope the next chapter can come soon, and that you enjoyed this one. Don't forget to leave a review, those really make me see that this is worth it!