They could smell the smoking meat long before they'd reached home. Duke's mouth began to water and his stomach rumbled loudly. Jennifer laughed behind him.

"My brother the bear. How can you be hungry again already, Con?"

Duke shrugged and looked over his shoulder at her. "Worked up an appetite chickenfighting and wrestling Vince, I guess. Right, kid?" He turned to his little brother who sat upon Misty, letting her pick her own way back. None of them had to guide the horses at this point; all four knew their way home from the river, and all four would be thinking about their feed buckets soon, if not already. "You agree, kid?" Vincent looked lost in thought. Duke quietly leaned over and gave the mare a slap on the rump.

Misty, who was prone to whatever daydreaming horses did, started and took off at a canter, shaking Vincent awake. He managed to glower back over his shoulder as he pulled her up, stopping her. He reined her around and waited for them to trot up.

"Cute, Con. Thanks."

"Yeah, well it's not as if you'd have gone far on that slow little mare of yours." Duke grinned. "How do you put a saddle on a walrus?"

"Fuck you, Con." Vince flipped him off. "She's way faster than that fat feather-legged black hippo you're on. He's got the grace of an elephant combined with the speed of a fucking sloth. Misty's superior in every goddamn way"

Duke laughed, and heard Jennifer join in. Remembering Drew was there, Duke turned to see her face. "You know those aren't Mamma-friendly words, Rabbit."

"Mamma's not here." Drew pointed out.

"Damn straight." Duke nodded and turned back to his brother, who'd fallen in again with the group. "You really think your walrus outshines Wally? "

"I think she can beat your hippo back to the house without hardly trying. Like I said, she's faster."

"Faster's not what I need, kid."

Vincent snorted. "It's what you need to get to the house first."

"Right, let's go!" Duke kicked Wally into a gallop. He heard Vincent yell behind him. They soon were neck and neck, both horses going full bore down the dirt road. Vincent whooped and flicked his mare's flank with the ends of his reins. Duke heard him encourage her.

"Get on, girl! Go! Hyah!"

The mare pulled ahead by a nose, and then another, and yet another. Duke was well aware that his heavy stallion couldn't outrun the quarter horse for any appreciable amount of time, but he was better trained, and Duke had a trick up his sleeve. He let his brother pull ahead, giving him time to start savoring the anticipated victory. Giving him the chance to start feeling certain and smug. Duke looked to his left at the fenceline, looking in his head at a crow's eye view of the road and how it curled around the pasture, going west and then coming back east to be in line with the house. He picked his spot, and then whirled Wally, urging him to jump the fence. The stallion happily complied, launching himself over the top rail and into the grass beyond. From there, it was a straight line back to the road and to home beyond. Just one more jump to make. Duke glanced at Vincent and his mare, thundering away and along the looping road, kicking up a tremendous cloud of dust. Jennifer and Drew were cantering after him, several lengths back.

I should make it with enough time.

Wally blazed across the pasture and soared over the rails on the other side. Duke was shocked to see his little brother and his steadfast mare just behind him on the road. They were neck and neck again. Vincent stood in his stirrups, hunched low over the saddle, urging her on. It came to Duke that he'd miscalculated. The thought niggled in the back of his mind that perhaps there were more than a few things he'd missed out on, not being home. Vincent was catching up, in more ways than one.

Both horses galloped Hell for leather down the now straight road. The roofs of the barn, house and stable came into view over the rise. Foam had broken out on Wally's neck. He was working hard, panting, but Duke knew he had enough left in him to keep it up to the paddock. They crested the hill and thundered towards the house and outbuildings.

Suddenly, a black streak flashed across the grass, right at Duke. Wally spooked and reared, lashing out and squealing. Duke barely managed to hang on. "Dammit, Pirate! You blasted tomcat! One-eyed bastard!"

The cat made a mad leap at Duke's leg, clinging to his calf with needle-sharp claws and sinking his teeth into his boot before dashing away back into the bushes by the barn.

Duke got Wally under control and calm. He looked over to see Vincent sliding down from his saddle by the paddock gate. He slapped Misty joyfully on the neck, and the mare bobbed her head and tossed her mane. Duke guided Wally over to them. Both horses were sweated over and foamy, blowing their sides in great heaves.

"We'd better walk them kid. They need to cool down." He threw his leg over the pommel and slipped down to the dirt. Grabbing Wally's reins, he strode off towards the stable, expecting Vincent would follow. He could see Max had arrived and set up his grill. Several chickens were probably dripping fat onto the coals already. There was a cluster of people on the back porch. He looked to his left and saw the girls come over the hill. Drew was bouncing in her saddle as her fat pony trotted behind Rusty and Jenn.

"I won, Con." Vincent's voice was fill of victory and gloating.

"Mmmmmm." Duke didn't look back at him.

"I did. You tried to cheat, but I won."

"I didn't cheat." Duke tried to keep his voice neutral.

"Bullshit. You cut across the pasture. That's not cheating?"

"Never said you had to stick to the road." They were close enough that Duke could see Oncle Max himself. Klara was probably inside with Mamma. Duke spotted Jeff and Sandy on the back porch with Willie and Lena. Rolfe was beside them, his arm around a plump woman Duke didn't recognize.

"You can't say it, can you?" Vincent stormed around in front and glared at him. "You can't admit that for the first time, I won at something. I beat you! You can't."

"Stupid cat..." Duke couldn't look him in the eye.

"Fuck Pirate. Fuck you. You cheated. That was, like, Karma cutting you off. Head on, Misty outruns Wally, and will every time." Vincent turned his head and spat. "I won. Be fair."

Duke stopped and sighed. "Yeah, kid. It's true. You won. 'Course Misty's faster. She's lighter. Quarter horse can pretty much outrun everything for a quarter mile." He watched the elation spread over his kid brother's face. When it reached his deep blue eyes, they twinkled.

"Fuck yeah! I won, you cheat."

"Right." Duke couldn't help but chuckle. "Look, Vincent. You did." He put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "But I want you to remember, in the real world. Outside of fun races and games. When you're not playing football or baseball or whatever...in the my world, you're given an objective? Someone gives you a task? Sometimes you do whatever you gotta to get the job done. Sometimes you have no choice. Then it's not cheating."

"Like cutting across the pasture?" Vincent crossed his arms and smirked.

"I wish it were always like cutting across the pasture. That would make it real easy. I've done things I never thought I'd have to do. Things I can't forget, no matter how hard I try." Duke watched the smirk slide from his brother's face. "You remember that when you're thinking about enlisting. When you're dreaming of going Special Forces." He tousled his brother's hair. "Remember that. Hey. You don't have to go if you don't want to."

Vincent looked at the ground. When his face came back up, the twinkle had faded and his eyes hardened. "Yeah...OK."

"Good. Let's get these horses cooled and up and head back to the house." Duke slapped his back and both lead their mounts to the stable. Jennifer and Drew joined them. It didn't take long to unsaddle, dry and brush their mounts, and soon all four horses were back out in the paddock, tack cleaned and stowed in the tack-room to wait for next time. Duke thought sadly to himself that for him, "next time" could be a year or more away. He rarely thought of riding when on base, but there were times he missed Wally keenly. There were days when the stress got too much, and he craved the relaxation and calm a long ride could bring. Times he got tired of having to be the one to have all the answers, the one who could handle it all, and he needed to put it all behind him, if only for an hour or two, and gather his confidence back so he could once again assume the mantle of leadership.

I take care of everyone and everything. But who takes care of me? Who do I turn to, when I don't have the answers? When I just don't know? Because I'm not sure I can fake it all the time.

Pirate sauntered smugly past to rub himself against Jennifer's legs. She swept him up and spun around. Duke could hear the beast purring like a motorboat.

Bastard cat. Why don't you like me?

Jennifer nuzzled Pirate. Vincent leaned over and gingerly stroked his head, risking the limb. The cat blinked his one eye lazily and purred louder. Vincent chuckled.

"Good old Pirate. I owe you one." He grinned. "I'm gonna get you one of those catnip mice things."

"Great." Duke muttered to himself, noticing the scarring toothmarks on his boot. "Reward him, why don't you?" He slung the coiled rope swing over his shoulder and picked up the bag that held the cleats.

"People are starting to show up, Con." Jennifer looked out the stable door.

"Right. Let's get everything away and go join in the fun." Duke tousled Drew's hair. It had dried on the ride home. She looked back up at him and indicated he should come close, so he went to one knee beside her. "What, Rabbit?"

"I know you let Vince win." She whispered.

"You do, huh?" Jenn and Vince had already started back, empty packs slung over their shoulders, but Duke played along and kept his voice low.

"Sure," Drew nodded seriously, "You had to let him win at something after you wrestled him into the ground."

"Ah."

"Otherwise, he'd feel bad. I know you don't ever want him to feel bad."

"Well, no. I don't." Duke agreed.

"So, you let him win. I mean, I know no one can beat you. You're the best." She put both arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. He hadn't bothered shaving that morning, and she made a face. "You're all prickly."

"Sorry about that, Rabbit. My whiskers are coming in."

She rubbed his cheeks with her hands. "You should grow a long beard, like ZZ Top."

Duke imagined how he would look, and came up with something close to his grandfather. "That's against grooming regulations, Rabbit."

"Or you could grow your hair real long. You'd look like Thor!"

"I'd look like Thor...Do you want me to look like Thor?" Duke laughed. "I'm not growing my hair out. That's definitely against grooming regulations."

She looked skeptical. "There's a guy in your unit with braids, and at least three with bushy beards. I saw it in the newspaper."

"Yeah, well." He knew he could never explain it to her. "Run on down, huh? I bet Emma's already here."

"Sure!" She kissed his cheek a second time, then raised her fist in the air as she dashed out of the barn. "THOR!"

Duke watched Drew run down the sloping yard to the house, past Vincent and Jennifer who were chattering about something and waving to Jack and Max.

Instead of going right to the house, he made his way to the garage building and stowed the rope swing, then got his bike prepared for another long period of inactivity. He set the battery on a trickle charger and then ran a thick chain through the spokes of the rear wheel, securing it with a heavy padlock. Duke wasn't taking the chance that Vince or, worse yet, Jennifer wouldn't think about a joyride or two while he was away. He remembered getting into more than a little trouble with a clandestine jaunt in an unattended jeep back at Fort Carson when he was fourteen. Mamma made him work in the General's office for moths to pay for the damage. Jack had let him know in no uncertain terms that there wouldn't be a second time.

Duke pulled the tarp back over his motorcycle and sighed.

One more thing to leave behind. No time for joyrides. No time for horses. No time for rope swings and chicken fights.

He left the garage, flicking the lights off before closing the door behind him. In the short time he'd been inside, more people had arrived. Oncles Bern, Leo, Wilhelm, Adler and Grampy stood around the grill and barbecue with Jack and Max bottles in hand. They waved and hailed him as he walked by. Jack called over the voices.

"Champ, your mother asked if you could come say hello to your aunts and grandmother." He smiled. "I think she's worried you won't get to everyone."

"The hens are in the kitchen, Ja?" Adler laughed. Most of the men joined him.

Duke shook his head and hollered back over his shoulder as he walked on. "Don't let them hear you calling them that, Oncle, or you'll have some lonely nights." The men laughed heartily. Duke waved them off and continued on to the back porch.

He made out the faces as he got closer. Jeff and Sandy were leaning against the railing, talking amiably to Willy, Lena, Rolfe and a woman Duke didn't recognize. Little Kai shyly clung to Lena's leg, while Emma hung over the edge of the porch, looking underneath the decking. Duke assumed Rabbit was underneath. Sandy saw him approach and waved. The others turned to see him.

Jeff set his beer bottle down with a solid thunk. "That was one Hell of a trick with Wally back there."

"You and Vince rode over the hill, out of nowhere, and then right in the middle of the yard, you pulled a Lone Ranger on us." Sandy chuckled. "You're usually not a show-off, Conrad."

Emma used Willy's hand to pull herself to her feet and gazed wonderingly up at him. "That was like a movie. Like a knight."

Duke grinned at her. She was Drew's age, she was Drew's friend-but she was the other side of the coin. Quiet where Drew was loud. Shy where Drew was boisterous. Her room was pink and frilly and full of dolls. Yet she'd climb onto any horse-be it filly, mare, pony, gelding or uncut stallion-without a second thought. The two of them got on well. Duke remembered a tea party they had convinced him to join several years ago. He had been commanded to wear his class A. Emma poured the tea out for guests, both plush and flesh and blood, in an elegant pink gown and elbow length gloves. Drew happily chatted to them both in her pirate outfit, complete with eyepatch and hook. After tea, they'd all battled with wooden broadswords and then returned to the table for cake. It was the best tea party Duke had ever attended.

"Not so much like Lancelot as you'd think." He laughed and leaned down to kiss Emma's cheek. "The barn cat spooked Ol' Wally and tried to take my toes right out of my boot. It was the best I could do to just hang on." He held up his foot. The scars left by the gnawing cat were still damp. "He's a demon in a black cat suit."

Jennifer came up behind him, Pirate cuddled to her chest. " I don't know why you think that about my sweet Pi."

Duke accepted a beer from Jeff and turned to his sister, pointing at the sleek black beast. "He's about as sweet as sulfur, Jenn. That cat's trying to kill me. Every time I come home on leave, he strikes. Just once, but he does it. Look at this." He pulled up the leg of his jeans to reveal a set of bright red scratches down the back o his upper calf. One was oozing. Jennifer's eyes widened, and she moved closer to get a better look. "And that's through denim, Jenn. No wonder mice don't come within a hundred yards of here. Cat's got razor blades in his paws." Duke dropped his pants leg and stood up A low angry whine started to throb from Pirate. His single green eye blazed.

"Well, it's a good thing he's tough, right? Who wants mice? Or rats?"

"Or skin?" Rolfe laughed.

Duke shook his head. "Listen to that." The low whine had risen to an eerie growl. "Fucker's probably already plotting for my next leave."

Emma's eyes widened, and Lena's face darkened. Willy cleared his throat, his grin tight. Rolfe and his friend laughed.

"Uh, yeah." Duke shrugged apologetically at Lena. "He doesn't like me all that much."

"He's picky, that's all." Jennifer climbed the steps and went into the house, Pirate shooting Duke a last one-eyed glare over her shoulder.

Willy held out a bottle, and Duke took it and popped the cap off against the porch railing. "You brought me more of the good stuff, Willy." He held up the bottle in a toast and then took a long pull.

"Oh ja. I'll see if I can't send a few bottles back with you."

Duke climbed the few steps to the porch to join them all. "So, Rolfe, who's this?"

Drew climbed out from her hole under the porch. "C'mon, Duke! Everyone knows, it's Wendy."

Rolfe laughed put his arm around the woman, who was laughing at Drew. She was taller than Lena, but not much. She was full and curvaceous. Bountiful. "This is Wendy, Conrad. Wendy, this is my famous cousin, on loan to us from the United States Armed Forces. Get your fill of him today, we have to give him back."

Wendy put her hand over her mouth and giggled. It was a pleasing sound. Duke couldn't help but smile. "Miss Wendy," He held out his hand, "nice to meet you."

She put her hand lightly in his, and he found himself bringing it to his lips. She giggled and blushed. Grinning, Duke looked over her shoulder to see a flash of jealousy shadow Rolfe's blue eyes, even though his smile didn't falter. "Do I call you sergeant Hauser? Conrad? Duke?"

Duke shrugged. "Whichever you'd like. I answer to pretty much anything."

"His grandmother calls him Doodlebug." Rolfe's grin turned sly. Wendy's laughter threatened to fold her in two.

Duke played along and laughed with them, but he shot Rolfe a look that made the younger man pale. I'll get you back later, vetter. "Duke or Conrad. Either which. I'll be reminded enough of my rank when I get back to base."

Drew nudged her step cousin. "Hey, Emma, come up and see all my new stuff. Vince and Duke made it for me!" Giggling, the girls pounded inside, letting the screen door slam behind them. Duke heard laughter and happy yells from the kitchen as they both rushed past whatever preparation was being done inside. Most parties or celebrations Mamma held court in her kitchen.

Duke spied Kai ducking further behind Lena. "Well, Kai. You're getting big. Wirst du mich umarmen?" The little girl peered out and looked up at him, craning her neck. She gasped and ducked away. Lena reached behind and comforted her.

Willy chuckled warmly. "She's gotten shy, Con. Kai, erinnern Sie sich nicht, die Conrad ist? He's your vetter. Remember when he was home for Thanksgiving last year? The Christmas the year before that? He gave you your puppe? I know she's your favorite doll." He looked back at Duke. "She started this a few months ago. I don't know where it came from."

"It's normal." Sandy shrugged. "Some kids just go through a shy stage. It's OK, Kai. He's nice, remember?"

Kai refused to budge. Duke set his beer on the rail and crouched down so he was eye to eye with the tiny girl. It was a deep crouch. "Kai. Last time I was home, you rode on my shoulders. Kommen hierher, Kai. I couldn't hurt you."

"You're too big." Wide blue eyes peeked out from behind Lena.

"That's not going to change anytime soon." Duke laughed softly and reached a hand out.

"Conrad's a big ol' softy, Kai." Sandy's voice was gentle. "Especially when it comes to kids. Do you know he gives great hugs? He can carry you all day, and if you ask him, he probably will."

"Look, I'll sit right here," Duke sat right on on the decking resting his elbows on his knees. "You come right up and see. You'll remember this." He lowered his voice to a rumble. "Remember the 'ol bear, Kai? The bear you rode last Christmas, Ja?" He gave a few bear grunts, ignoring the amused looks from the adults around him and the bell-like tones of Wendy's giggles.

Kai's eyes lit up . She hesitantly stepped one foot in front of the other to stand in front of him. Duke let out a few bear snurfs, and Kai laughed and grabbed on to his neck. "Up! Steh auf, du großer alter Bär!"

Duke obediently stood, easily lifting the tiny girl up. He used one arm to support her.

"Down!" Kai pointed to the wooden decking, and Duke dutifully crouched again, growling.

"Up!" She pointed to the sky. Duke stood again, this time squeezing her with both arms.

"Kai, not too much now." Willy remonstrated. "You'll tire him out."

"Fat chance of that!" The screen door slammed, and Drew lead Emma in a charge across the porch to jump onto Duke's back. Duke roared and spun around, all three girls giggling.

Wendy laughed as he staggered by. "That bear's got a fight on his hands."

"This is how it usually ends up." Lena sighed. "The bear seems to enjoy it."

"The bear's going into the kitchen!" Duke hollered, carrying the mass of laughing girls across the porch and through the screen door.

The kitchen was full of Aunts. Tantes Klara, Bella, Nina, Teresa, Mary, and Winnifred stood at the table and the counters, happily chatting and getting ready for an outdoor buffet. Grammy sat at the head of the table, sipping a cup of tea. Mamma was by the counter, directing and talking to Mrs. Whats-Her-Name. The kitchen table and counters was overflowing with various bowls, platters, stacks of paper plates, baskets of plastic forks and knives and napkins. Duke growled and spun a few times, and sneakered legs were thrown into the air as Drew and Emma clung on to his back. He hung onto Kai, who screeched with glee.

"Goodness, there's a bear in the kitchen." Mamma exclaimed with mock surprise. "Hang on to him, girls, or he'll eat all the potato salad."

Duke played along. "Potato salad? That's my favorite!" Duke staggered towards the large glass bowl of German potato salad on the kitchen table. Tante Nina wielded a wooden spoon and smacked his arm with it.

"Get away, you bear. It's not time yet." She smacked him again for emphasis.

Duke roared and staggered back a few steps.

"No potato salad for you, bear!" Drew did her best to climb higher to his shoulders. Emma had slid to his left side.

"Hold him, Drew...he wants the pies!"

Of course I do. "Rmmmmm... Do I smell pie? Great for bears!"

Duke made his way closer to where several pies sat on the counter, as feigned cries of horror and dismay echoed around him.

"No!"

"Not the pies!"

"Stop him, girls!"

"Oh, you terrible bear!" Grammy laughed. "Get him to the living room, you three, before he eats them all."

Kai took the initiative, yanking on his shirt with both hands. "Go that way, bear!" She thumped his chest and pointed to the swinging door. Duke yowled and stumbled through it, then across the room to the couch, where Laura and Jennifer sat looking at copies of the Formal pictures.

"Uh oh, here we go. The bear battle." Jennifer shook her head. "You have to do this every time, don't you Con?"

Duke growled in response.

"If COBRA wanted to win, all they'd have to do is employ Vipers under the age of twelve and Con would just fall apart into a cuddly mess of roughhousing." She put the pictures on the coffee table.

Laura snorted. "Just can't keep the girls off, can you, stud?"

"Does it ever get old, Con?"

No, frankly. "Come to think of it, I am a little tired, Jenn. Being a bear is hard when three strong bear warriors are on you." He grinned. "Maybe I should lie down a bit."

Jennifer's eyes grew wide as she caught on. "No! Don't you dare! Con!"

Too late.

Duke leaned until he was far enough off balance to fall onto the couch. Jennifer and Laura screamed and tried to scramble out of the way in opposite directions, but they weren't fast enough. Their cries were soon muffled beneath his back. Kai, Drew and Emma managed to wriggle out, but the bigger girls were trapped. Jennifer groaned.

"Conrad, you big jerk! You're heavy!"

"Funny." Duke stretched. "I don't remember the couch being this lumpy."

"You weigh a ton! Get off!" Jennifer tried to squirm. Laura was able to pull herself halfway out by grabbing on to the back of the couch.

"I'm free, Jennifer! What do I do? Should I sock him?" She looked around madly. "Hit him with something?"

"Ahhhh, that's better. I'm so sleepy, suddenly. Think I'll take a nap." Duke closed his eyes and folded his hands on his chest.

"Tickle him!" Jennifer's muffled voice commanded.

"He's ticklish? Where?"

"I know!" Drew pounced back on him, making Jennifer groan. "Right on his stomach!" She started to tickle. Duke held out as long as he could.

"I've been trained to withstand torture, Rabbit."

"Oh yeah?" Laura climbed up and added her fingers.

It occurred to Duke that having his sister's teenage friend sitting on him might not look right, no matter what her actual intentions were. He grabbed Laura's hands, pretending that the tickling had gotten to him, and sat up, grabbing Drew and swinging her to the floor. Laura was knocked gently next to her.

Jennifer slapped his back twice. "Geez, Con. Are you made of lead?"

"Something like that. I think the food's nearly ready." Duke slid to one end of the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. Kai jumped up on his lap. Drew grabbed him from behind. Emma looked as if she were trying to decide on a way to attack him. "Is Vince helping with the music?"

"I saw him and Jimmy going upstairs. They're hooking it all up and aiming the speakers out Vince's window."

"Ah." Duke wasn't necessarily a fan of music at barbecues. At least, not most of what Vincent and Jennifer might play. But he trusted Jimmy's taste.

"Conrad!" Mamma's called from the kitchen. "Jack's calling for you. I think he needs your help."

"I'm on it, Mamma." Duke stood, picking Kai up. Drew dangled from his neck. "Hang on, Rabbit." She wrapped her legs around him and clung tighter. Emma ran ahead, holding the door open so he could come through. The kitchen had cleared out of most of his aunts. Duke could hear them through the screen where they'd joined Willy and the others on the back porch. Mamma, Grammy and Tante Winifred, the youngest of his aunts, stood together by the sink, iced tea in hand.

"On your way, take this pitcher outside, will you please?" Mamma indicated a large pitcher of iced tea sweating on the counter. "Oh, Drew! Kai! Emma! Give him a few minutes freedom."

"It's fine, Mamma." He handed Kai to Winnifred. "Here, hang on to this one for a bit, Winnie."

Winifred took the little girl and brought her to her lips to blow a raspberry on her stomach. Kai laughed and squirmed. Duke grabbed the pitcher and made his way outside. Drew dropped off his back once they were on the porch, which was now utterly dominated by aunts, girlfriends and wives. The men, and a few of the women were up the backyard, dragging hay bales and chairs out of the barn to set up. Max and Jack were still manning the barbecues. Duke set the pitcher on the wooden picnic table and jogged off to help out.

"You need another hand, Oncle?"

Leo turned and grinned. "Ja, why not? We've got all the chairs but your mutter wanted more places to sit. Why not grab a bale of hay or two and put on a show for the frauen?" He nodded at the porch, then jerked his head at Rolfe. "Your Vetter is already showing off for his lady. Don't make him look too much like a Schwächling."

Annalise came over, hauling a large bale by one end with Sandy on the other. "Do it anyhow, Starker mann. Look at how he's strutting." She pointed back to the barn at her older brother.

Rolfe emerged, hefting a bale by the bindings, lifting it high and striding across the grass and bending to dump it unceremoniously next to another. He stood and stretched. Duke watched him add a little extra flex and crack his neck with great gusto. He glanced back to where Wendy stood watching on the porch. "Well, heck, Anna, why wouldn't he? She seems a good sort."

"Oh, she is. She laughs at all his jokes, even when the rest of us won't. She's a whole lot of fun, and I like her. They met at the hardware store." Annalise wiped her hands on the legs of her jeans. Sandy went off to help with another bale. Duke and Annalise followed

"The hardware store? Bob's?" It had been there as long as Duke could remember. Bob was long dead, as were his great grandkids. The aisles were packed with bits and pieces, nails by the pound, tools-both power and not, farm equipment, work clothes, cleaners and more. Duke's brain couldn't make Wendy fit.

"She'd just started working there, so the story goes. He went in to get some nuts and struck up a conversation at the cash register."

"Nuts..." Duke grabbed a bale and easily lifted it. Sandy and Annalise took hold of another.

Annalise's grin grew sly. "Yeah, well, with Rolfe, you know how that one went."

Sandy laughed. "I can imagine. Usually, he gets slapped or a drink in his face."

"Oh yeah." Annalise nodded. "Not Wendy. They hit it off, and there you go. Last Saturday, he bought a ring. He hasn't worked up the nerve to ask her yet. She doesn't know about it. Actually, I think I was supposed to keep that a secret."

"Good job, Anna." Duke laughed. He reached a likely spot for a seat and tossed the bale several feet with minimal effort. It thumped on the ground. He could heard Drew and Emma cheering. "I won't let on you spilled it." Inside he felt a twinge. Rolfe, even. When Mamma finds out, I'm not going to hear the end of it. From the looks of it, there was more than enough seating. He didn't need to go back to the barn. In fact, Adler and Willy were pulling the doors shut.

"Me neither." Sandy glanced at the porch as she and Annalise set their burden down next to Duke's bale. "Your own pep squad, Con."

"Wish I could take them back with me."

"You're going to miss Drew." Sandy lowered herself to the rough top of a bale.

"I'm going to miss everyone." Duke joined her. "I always do. I have to shut it down, though, or it gets in the way. But I work with good people, and I enjoy their company. It helps."

"Your mother was telling me you made it sound like a family of sorts."

"You could say that." He leaned back on his elbows and watched the wisps lazily curl and climb from Jack's smoker. "Generally, Sandy, you fall in to a sort of brotherhood with everyone in your unit. You trust them with your life." He saw her lift a finger and open her mouth to comment, but cut her off. "I've never served in an active combat unit with women before, so excuse that term, will you? It was new to me, I'll admit. I wasn't wild about it at first, but they won me over pretty quick."

She smiled. "I'll say they d-"

"Don't even bring that up, OK? Let me get through a day without someone bringing up my personal life, huh?" He pulled a blade of hay from the bale and started winding it around his finger.

"Sorry."

"Like I said, I trust them with my life. I think everyone can now say that paid off pretty good." He stuck the end of the hay in his mouth and sucked it, enjoying the memories the taste and smell brought to mind. "Never in a million years did I think a sailor would pull me out of the shit." He muttered. "Huh. Guess it was a good thing I hung on to him when Flint and Mutt brought him in from nowhere."

Sandy looked at him patiently. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Con."

"Oh? Yeah. Course not." Duke spat the hay out and sat up. "Family. I guess that's a good word for it. I care about each and every one of them. We fight together. We've faced some crazy shit together. But it's not all battles. There's a lot of down time, a lot of time just running things day to day on base. You eat together, work out together, heck, there's things like football games and card games, pool-just screwing around when you're off duty. People gather in front of the TV for their favorite show with popcorn and beer, or sodas or whatever, just like at home. Lots of laughing. Or someone is low or depressed, they'll come to me. Sometimes, they get pissed at each other, and I have to help them work it all out." He nodded to her. "Sort of what you do, I guess, except you studied for it and I have to play it by ear. Heck, sometimes they piss me the Hell off." Duke sighed. "I guess I'm the big brother there, too, in a way. So, yeah, it's a lot like family."

"But they don't have a Rabbit." Sandy rubbed his shoulder. Down by the house Drew and Emma were showing Kai how to fill water balloons from the spigot by the porch. Drew lobbed one at Jennifer and Laura just as they walked out through the screen door. Her aim was perfect. Duke could hear the angry screams from where he sat. Drew zipped away at top speed, both teenage girls on her tail. Vincent's hooting could be heard from his bedroom window above.

Duke joined in the laughter. "Nope, no Rabbit. Can you imagine? She'd turn that place upside down within a week." Drew had completed a circuit of the house and quickly scrambled under the porch, just as Jennifer came around the corner. She and Laura crouched down and hollered at her for a few seconds, then gave up and left to join the line for food.

"And you'd love every minute of it." Sandy slapped him. "She has you wrapped around her little finger."

Duke rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and snorted. "Yeah, I suppose."

"You want kids of your own, don't you?" It wasn't really a question.

Duke dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "You know the answer to that, come on. But that's a fantasy. No place for kids, in my life. I wouldn't want to leave some poor kid without a..." He couldn't bring himself to finish.

"Without a father. Conrad..." Sandy's hand returned to his shoulder. She gently pulled him to her for a hug. "When will you start doing something for yourself?"

"Hey, look, there's more people coming." Several new groups had come around the side of the house. Duke pushed himself free of her to his feet. Jack and Max had shut down the grills, and Adler, Leo, Wilhelm, and Willy were helping them carry platters of meat to where Mamma and the aunts were piling food on the tables they had set out on the porch. "Food's ready, too. I'm famished."

"Conrad..."

"I'm fine, Sandy."

"I know you are." She came to her feet next to him and slid an arm around his waist. He put his arm over her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

"But thanks for worrying. It's nice to know there's people back home thinking about me."

Jeff wandered over. "Let's get down there. The food's not going to last all night." He looked up at Duke. "You OK, Conrad?"

"Of course I am. I've got a lot of beer and meat in my future. I'm excellent."

"Well, then, let's get some plates filled up and food in that stomach." Jeff punched Duke's gut as hard as he could. Duke didn't flinch, and raised an eyebrow and looked down at his boyhood best friend.

"You got any better than that, spaghetti arms?"

"I don't ever have to." Jeff chuckled. "I've got you."

The sun dropped down over the rise. Jack had gone inside and turned on the yardlights. Those, the random tiki torches Jimmy had brought and the bonfire provided enough extra illumination to the dusk to keep things going. Even when it grew completely dark, the party would continue. Hauser barbecues often went late. Mamma, Lena and a few aunts had brought out a large selection of desserts, from fruit salad to a five layer chocolate cake, with cookies, pies and ice cream in between. Beer and wine still flowed.

Duke stood near the barbecue bottle in hand, chatting with Sandy, Jeff, Rolfe, Wendy, Tante Winifred and Lena. The beer had loosened his tongue and lowered his resistance to discussing his own adventures, and he was regaling them with fantastic tales of all the things he'd seen in Egypt.

Guests clotted into groups around chairs and bales of hay. Throughout the afternoon and evening, friends had wandered up from town to say hello and wish Duke luck. Even Principal Moore and Nurse betty came to see him and have a little barbecue. Vincent ceded control of his stereo to Jimmy, who'd managed to keep the music an enhancement rather than a distraction. He had mixed a good amount of classics and modern songs to form a playlist that while Duke didn't necessarily enjoy, he didn't mind.

Well, some of it's good. But what the heck's this thing on now? Another mopey love song. Some 80's ballad. Good Lord.

"..and so he dumped us all into the drink." Duke laughed. "I guess he took unkindly to 'dogface'."

"Who wouldn't?" Winifred stood with her elbow in one hand, wine glass in the other.

"I swear, it's a term of endearment. Army thing."

"That's a term of endearment?" Lena's voice was incredulous. "That's you all over, Conrad. A term of endearment is something like honey, or sweetheart."

"You want me to call Anubis, god of the dead, 'sweetheart'?" Duke laughed at the thought.

"Well, no, I suppose not...but really, Dogface? I mean-"

"Oh!" Wendy exclaimed. He saw her gaze shift past him. She smiled broadly. "Hello! I don't think we've met."

Everyone's faces changed in a split second. Jeff and Sandy's froze in a look of horror. Rolfe's lips twisted into a rare scowl. Willy went pale, and Lena gasped.

Winifred sipped at her wine, her eyes narrowing. "We'd prefer to keep it that way, Wendy. But I suppose she should introduce herself, since she's come all the way from California."

"Oh, this has got to be good...what did you surprise me with?" Duke spun on his heel to confront the figure who had come softly up behind him.

No...It...Seriously?

She stood, hands clasped nervously, her long blonde hair pulled back from her slim face. She'd aged, as he had...but not enough to be a stranger to him, as he'd always imagined her becoming. Her brown eyes searched his face. Duke's stomach fell into his boots. The sounds of the barbecue faded away.

She took a deep breath. "Hello, Conrad. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Maddy?" He couldn't tell if it was rage or panic that was making his heart pound.

"I was in town visiting mother. I heard you were finishing up a leave. I stayed away, but when she told me there was a barbecue, I thought..." She sighed.

Sandy's face was drenched with anger. "You thought what, exactly?"

Maddy took a step back at the venom in her voice. "That he and I could talk."

Sandy snorted. "Right."

Maddy sighed again. Duke remembered that she and Sandy had often not seen eye to eye. "Maddy...I..." He wanted to yell. He wanted to cry. He wanted to crawl into Drew's den under the porch and huddle in the dark and not come out. He wanted to make her feel every ounce of pain she'd driven through him with those few short words so long ago, at a barbecue pretty much like this one.

He'd been down on one knee. That's how he figured it was supposed to happen. You got a nice ring, picked a good time and took a knee.

He'd spent three months pay on a ring the second he got home. He'd carried it around with him a week, waiting for the party Mamma had planned to welcome him back. She'd been hard to pin down to see that week-busy with work and her night school. He didn't mind. He'd have found it hard to keep his excitement from her, otherwise. He wanted to ask her in front of everyone, because he knew that was the kind of thing she liked.

The day of the party came, and Duke had nervously paced all morning. Mamma had just about wormed it out of him when the first guests came. Little Jennifer and Vince were soon running around the yard with their friends. Everyone showed up. The whole family. All his friends. All his parents friends.

Maddy walked through the front door in some sort of peasant dress, her parents right behind. It had given him pause. When he'd left, she favored tailored skirts and pretty blouses. Sweaters. Headbands. That kind of thing. He chalked it up to her keeping up with fashion, something he never cared much about. She was still as pretty as the girl he'd walked home from high school, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Duke had swept her up in his arms and held her tight, her feet off the ground, keenly aware of the box he'd stowed in his pocket.

"Maddy. Maddy I missed you so much. Maddy, God." He whispered in her ear. "All I could think of was seeing you, Sweet. When it got real bad, I thought of you, and that got me through." He brought her to his lips.

"Conrad." She accepted his kisses, giving him a small squeeze. She seemed flustered, distracted. Duke put it down to being nervous and happy to see him. "Conrad, Honey. It's been so...long."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to be away that long. I'm never going to leave again. I'm home now." He gently set her down. "I'm home now and I can take care of you."

"I'm glad you're home, Conrad."

He happily pulled her to him again, laughing. "Maddy!"

"Honey...be carful You're squeezing so hard." She smiled as he let her go.

"Oh, sorry! Guess I don't know my own strength. He looked back to her parents. "Ma'am...Sir. Pleasure to see you." He shook Mr. Stevenson's hand firmly, then held Mrs. Stevenson's fingers lightly in his own.

"We're happy you came home, Conrad. Please accept our condolences for Wolfgang...I've already spent some time with Adler and Mary." She rubbed his arm.

"Thank you, Ma'am. Oncle Adler wanted to come, but Tante Mary isn't ready yet." Mary couldn't bring herself to spend an evening welcoming her nephew home when her own son would never come back again.

Mamma came from the kitchen, smiling greetings at everyone. "Madeline. Beverly. Fred. So good to see you. Everyone's here, and we're all eating in back. Come on through."

Duke grabbed Maddy's hand and pulled her through the kitchen, Mamma and her parents following. It was perfect. They came through the screen, and everyone turned to see him walk across the porch with her. He stopped at the top of the steps down to the grass.

Now or never. He'd practiced in front of his mirror, in the barn, for days. Figuring out what he'd say.

Now or never.

Duke turned to her, his hands on her arms. "Look at this, Maddy. Look at this place. I didn't know how much I loved this spread till I was away from it. Till I came back and realized I wanted to stay here. I love this land. I want to stay here, forever. I never knew just how much I loved you, till I was kept away from you. Now I'm home. I want to stay with you...forever."

He watched her brown eyes widen as he went down on his knee, pulling the ring box out of his pocket and holding it out to her. Conversations around them screeched to a halt. Vincent and his friends stopped running and screaming to watch. Jennifer's lone voice floated over the silence.

"What's Con doing? He's on his knee. Why, Mamma?"

Duke used his thumb to flip the box open."Maddy Stevenson, will you marry me?" He reached for her hand.

Maddy put her hand to her mouth. "Conrad...I...I don't know what to tell you."

This wasn't what Duke had expected. Still, she had teased him in the past. "Say yes. Make me happy. We'll settle down, raise kids. There's lots of room for them to run all over. I've got my chunk of land coming to me. I can fix up Orman's old house, make it really pretty for you." He looked at her, biting her lip. She wasn't lost in the joy he'd imagined would wash her into his arms. He took the ring out of the box and held it out to her. It had the biggest diamond he could afford.

She backed away a step. "Settle here, in Musick's Ferry? What about Yale? What about the NFL? They were scouting you."

Duke's knee started to hurt on the porch wood. "I can't go back now. I lost my scholarship when I dropped out to enlist. Besides, it doesn't matter. I don't need the NFL, or some fancy degree, I just need you, Sweet. I can be happy here with you. It's peaceful here."

"Peace?" Her face grew angry. "You go off to shoot village people and come back to talk to me of peace?"

"Wait a minute..." Jack's voice was the angriest Duke had heard. "I think you have a lot of nerve saying..."

"He left school, he left a scholarship and a chance at a contract playing professional football...he left me to join the army. I saw the news reports. My night school friends showed me what was going on. My God, Conrad. Monks were setting themselves on fire." She pulled her hand away. "You were part of that."

Night school friends? Who?

"Maddy...I did what I had to. I did what was needed. I spent most of my time working with tribesmen. I..."

"You didn't shoot people? When you earned that medal you didn't kill people?" She crossed her arms.

"I...I..." Duke glanced around. He was suddenly uncomfortable with being the center of attention. The kids were dumbfounded. Jack was enraged. Jeff was holding Sandy back. Tears streamed down Mamma's face. "I did what I had to. I was trained..."

"To kill. You're a killer. And you want to settle down on this land and fill me up with babies, then go off drinking and slaughtering deer with your cousins and uncles, your stepdad and buddies while I rot here."

"No..."

"David's different. I met David in school."

David? Duke didn't know a David. "Who?"

"Oh you wouldn't get it. David's got plans. Ideas. Ideas about bringing food to the people. He's going to California to grow healthy food. California! Where things happen. He's for life! That's what I want!" Maddy was sobbing now. Sobbing and snarling. "David asked me to go with him! He's leaving tomorrow in fact, and he asked me to go with him."

"Where is he?" Duke still held the ring out, even though his hope was fading. Incredibly, he stayed down on his knee. "Show me where this David is... show me and I'll..."

"You'll what, beat him?" She wiped her eyes. "That's just like you, isn't it. Fighting your way out of everything." Maddy grabbed the ring and then tossed it at him. Duke let it bounce off his chest. It pinged as it hit the wood. "You monster. Killer. I don't want you."

Duke looked down to find the ring. He stared at it, hanging his head in shame. He couldn't look up into that face. Not anymore. Fifteen minutes ago, days ago, all through his tours, it was the only face he wanted to see. Now he couldn't bear to look at it.

Her sobs were loud, but Duke heard Vincent's little voice from across the yard. "You bitch! I always hated you, bitch!" A rock bounced off the wood.

Mamma's voice was next. "Madeline Stevenson, get out of my sight. If you think my son's the only one who can fight, you've got another thing coming. The next thing I want to see is the back of you."

"Oh, you won't see me again." Light footsteps announced her departure.

"Jane...I'm sorry. I...I didn't know."

"Oh Beverly," Mamma sighed. "I don't blame you. But I think the party's over. Please, go." Duke felt her hands on his shoulders. He stared down at the ring, lying next to a fallen slice of onion on the porch. "Conrad. Conrad, please. Stand up, Kleiner."

Jennifer came and tugged at his sleeve. "Con. Get up Con. Mamma wants you to get up."

Duke slowly reached out with one hand and picked up the ring. He stood and looked down at Jennifer, then across a sea of faces in the yard and back to his mother. Tears still streamed down her cheeks.

"Conrad. Kleiner..."

Duke shoved the ring back in his pocket and stepped off the porch onto the grass. He strode across the yard, hit the road between the pastures. He ignored his mother's call's behind him. He kept going until he'd toted that ring all the way to the river, then he flung it in. He stayed right there, staring at the water, thinking of the gun in his drawer. He sat down by the river and watched it rush past all night. Jack had finally found him and brought him home in the morning.

Maddy was gone. She'd climbed into a Volkswagon bus with David and taken off. She was right, he never saw her again.

Till tonight. Duke stared in shock at the woman before him.

"Conrad. I need to talk to you."

Vincent ran up and stepped in between them. "Fuck off, bitch. You said enough the last time. I remember. I was little, but I remember. I only wish I'd hit you with that rock. If you don't get out of here, I might try again. Leave my brother alone."

Jeff bravely stepped up next to Vincent. "Madeline, if you don't leave, I'll take you out of here myself."

Duke put a hand on Vincent's shoulder. "Vince. Jeff. Stop. It's OK."

Vincent looked back at him. "You kidding me, Con?"

"No, I'm not." Duke pulled himself up tall and looked around him. "I understand how you all feel. Thanks. But," he sighed, "I can take pretty good care of myself." He grinned at Jeff. "Tough guy, huh? Got my back? Thanks. I can handle it." Duke slapped Jeff on the back. "Give us a few minutes, huh?"

They looked at him in amazement. Jeff cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. OK. Come on, let's go." Sandy, Vincent. Wendy and Rolfe...They all followed him down the yard without a peep. Duke watched them, and saw his mother standing on the porch, looking at him with a worried expression on her face. He smiled and held up a hand. She waved back hesitantly.

Duke turned back to Maddy, wishing he felt as confident as the front he was putting on. But he'd had that feeling before, many times. Eventually, his real confidence would catch up with the act. He indicated the hay bale. "Have a seat."

Relieved, she lowered herself onto the hay, running her hands up and down her bare arms in the chill of the evening. Duke noticed she'd left the peasant dresses behind for something more tailored. He didn't know or really care exactly what the style was, but it definitely wasn't hippie. Her hair was worked into something like he'd seen in one of Jennifer's magazines. She clutched her hands between her knees and looked up at him.

"Conrad...thank you. You look...larger. If that's possible."

She'd always liked that I was big.

"Yeah, well, I keep myself in shape." He crossed his arms over his chest. Her voice was bringing back feelings he'd spent years shoving down. HE preferred keeping them there

She laughed. "Yes. I bet. You couldn't imagine my surprise when you started popping up in the papers and on TV."

Duke sat next to her, leaving good space between them. "You were expecting me to be on TV plenty, I seem to remember."

She blushed. "Yes...that. I did, didn't I? Encouraged you..."

"You could say that." Pushed me, is more like it. Nagged at me. Suddenly he remembered. Fights he's forgotten about when he was constructing his fantasy future with her. In high school, she'd made herself his football advisor, whether he liked it or not. She'd taken a little credit for his scholarship. When he told her NFL scouts had taken an interest in him at Yale, she'd gotten worse, keeping on top of his game performance from home like a coach, and harping on anything she thought could risk his chances.

"Well..." She clapped her hands. "It seems you've ended up there, anyhow. You've done pretty well for yourself, Conrad. What they've been allowed to publish about your career is impressive."

Duke frowned. "Should I thank you? I'd have never considered re-upping without your...encouragement. Sticking around here wasn't working out so well. I'm sure your mother told you. The whole town watched the show." A sour taste rose from his stomach.

"OK." She nodded. "I deserved that. But I'm not sure everyone in town watched."

"It's a small town."

"And that's why I had to leave, Conrad!" She grew insistent. "Look, I know you hate me..."

Do I? Duke considered it. He hated what she'd done to him. He'd hated that she'd made a fool of him, behind his back and in front of half the town. But he wasn't sure how he actually felt about her. He half turned from her and glared at the house. "You don't know anything about me, Maddy. Not anymore. Why would you want to? I still shoot people. I'm still a killer."

"You're a hero."

"Oh, please, save it."

"You are. You are now and you were then." She put a hand on his arm. Her skin on his skin...the first time she'd touched him in years. He'd spent nights after she left, lying in bed and yearning for the chance to touch her again, as if that would fix things.

"Don't patronize me, Maddy."

"I'm not. I mean it."

He looked down at her fingers. She was wearing a wedding ring. A wedding ring and an engagement ring. "You're married."

She pulled her hand away, looking down at her own rings. She twisted them around her finger. "Yes." She said simply. "I am. To David."

Duke snorted. "David."

"You're angry."

"No shit."

She laughed. "Do you know, you would have never said that to me before? Not to my face. You were always a gentleman. But you swore at me. I earned it, and you gave it to me."

"Hooray for me."

There was an uncomfortable silence. They watched the barbecue go on, watched people try and pretend they weren't trying to watch them. She broke it. "You never came to look for me."

"I was too drunk."

"Yes, I heard about that."

Duke spat. "Your mother did keep you filled in."

"About that. Not much else."

He snorted again.

"Oh look, Conrad, we're going in circles. We're not getting anywhere!" She rubbed her face exhaustedly.

"There's nowhere for us to go."

"That's why I had to leave! Conrad, you said it. This is a small town. It's a tiny town. We moved here so Daddy could be closer to his mother, and I hated it. You were the best thing about this place. You were going somewhere. You had skill. Talent. I could see it. I didn't know what to do. Daddy wanted me to be a housewife, and I couldn't bear it."

Surprised at her outburst, he turned to look at her again.

"When you got that scholarship, I was so excited. I knew you'd catch the eyes of those scouts. Not the college ones, the professional ones. You'd be in the NFL, a part of a team, and we'd be able to get out of this place and somewhere I could do something besides keep a house. Back then...I looked at my mother, she was so unhappy. She was smart, and she'd bought into a life she didn't want. She looked dead. I couldn't do that. But NFL wives, they have free time, they have money."

"You wanted to be rich?" Duke shook his head. "I never cared about being rich, I just wanted to play."

"I know you did. And the money didn't matter as much as the freedom it was going to give me." She sighed. "We were so close...and then you dropped out and enlisted, and it all fell apart." She swallowed. "I knew you'd thrown away a scholarship. I never knew why. I never understood."

Duke rubbed the back of his neck. "I tried to tell you. You never got it." he thought back. "But... when I went Special Forces...you liked visiting me at the Language School."

"Oh, California! It was all I'd ever wanted. San Francisco...the city. The people. People from all over the world." Her hand found his arm again. "I knew then that California was where I was meant to be. When I got back home, I enrolled in the night school, hoping it would help me get there. You were deployed soon after that. And then I met David."

Duke swallowed and worked to keep his voice steady. "I wrote you! Every week. Twice a week. You wrote back...You never told me."

"How could I tell you? How could I tell you about that when you were risking your life? I couldn't do that to you. But you were off killing, and he was talking about life. At first, he and I were only friends. But he had a plan, Conrad. He'd planned every step of the way, and he was going to California."

"California..."

"Organic vegetables, Conrad. No pesticides. Exotic vegetables, and fruit. Things that you never knew existed. He had a connection to a commune, and a plan." Maddy sat up excitedly. "Over the years, he brought it closer and closer to reality. And, well, when he asked me to go with him...right before you came home..."

"You jumped at it..."

"No. You won't believe that, but it wasn't till that night that I really made up my mind. I'll admit, I was worried about what you might have become. I read so much about how damaged the soldiers were, and Wolfgang was gone." She rubbed his arm. "I know that was hard for you. You were like brothers."

Duke rarely talked of Wolf. He couldn't.

"When you got down in front of me, I panicked. When you told me you wanted to settle down here, I saw it all falling away. Everything I ever wanted. It was like being thrown in a dungeon, Conrad."

"Marrying me..." he took a deep breath, "would have been like imprisonment?!" Duke thought of all the dungeons and cells he'd been in. The hunger. The cold. The pain.

"No." Maddy's brown eyes were sorrowful. "I'm sure you would have been a wonderful husband. But keeping me here would have taken away everything I ever wanted. I couldn't stay in this town another year. I couldn't...I hope you understand. I'm...I'm so sorry I hurt you Conrad."

"So..." Duke took a deep breath. "You moved to California...with...David."

"Yes." She nodded. "and it wasn't easy. In fact, it fell apart at first. There was so much we hadn't anticipated! But it turns out I'm better at running a business than anyone knew. Once David was willing to let me take control of the business side of things, so he could be happy with his plants and such, it started to work. Then it did more than work, it thrived. It took a lot of sweat, but we've found our niche." She smiled. "And now I'm CEO of one of the largest organic fruit and vegetable growing consortiums in the country."

Duke looked at her in shock. "Really?"

"Yes. And it's only going to get better. We're quite successful, and we're expanding."

He thought about it, wondering if he could have ever given her what she needed to reach that success. Not in Musick's Ferry, which was far from the infrastructure fields and ports of California offered. Definitely not as the Top Kick of an anti-terrorist group. Then, he had no interest in vegetables, business, or making large sums of money.

"So you married David, huh." Duke frowned to himself, then glanced around the yard. "He here somewhere?"

Sandy laughed. "He's hiding out in the hotel room Downtown. In the city. He wouldn't even dare come as close as mother's house. The kids are back in California. Summer camp, you know."

"Kids..." He closed his eyes. "You have kids."

"Two girls." She opened her purse and pulled out a wallet, undoing the snap to hold a photograph up for him to see.

"Huh. They look like you."

"Thanks. They're a handful. They're wonderful." She smiled at the picture before putting it away.

"You didn't want them with me."

"No. I guess in the end. I didn't." She put her purse back. "I'm sorry I hurt you. But can't you see? Can't you see I had to? I needed to? I had to escape, and you weren't going anywhere. You dropped out and didn't want to go back. You'd given up your dream."

It stung. The realization that she had thought him incapable of doing anything worthwhile beyond getting a football to the end zone. That she had never had one clue what he had dreamed of.

"I'm happy now, Conrad. So happy." She squeezed his hand. "It seems we've both done well. You're happy, aren't you? You've gone so far, helped so many people. Saved so many lives. Gone all over the world. You work with amazing people I could never imagine meeting."

Duke's thoughts turned to his men. Then they meandered right over to Scarlett. In all the time they'd served together, she'd always backed him up, one hundred percent. She'd always trusted in him, believed in him. She'd never used him for her own success, or blamed him for not being able to do it for her. The way she looked at him now. The way he felt when he knew she was looking...

"Maddy...in the end, when I came back...or even when I was away and writing you letters...Did you still love me?"

She thought for a while. "No. No, I don't think I did. When you deployed, it became real. I felt abandoned. Let down. And I met David and realized the he and I had more in common than we ever did. We were never meant to be together forever, Conrad. I do believe that. We had a good time, but it was really just that. You just...you just got wrapped up in some fantasy and made me part of it."

Whatever embers of feeling for her Duke had kept smoldering, down deep inside, died. He closed his eyes as the last knife went through his back. It hurt less than he thought. In a way, the blade cut him free. "Right. Whatever. Thanks for telling me."

It was now very dark. Jack and Max had kindled a large fire on the barbecue for the kids to roast marshmallows. Drew was waving around a stick topped with a flaming marshmallow and laughing. He felt Maddy's eyes on him.

"Conrad? I think I should go." She stood. He didn't

"I think you should go, myself."

"Thanks for letting me talk to you. For letting me tell you. I don't expect you to...well, to forgive me. But I do hope you understand. Goodbye, Conrad. Do take care of yourself. "

He grunted. She turned and walked away. He watched her go. Watched her cross the yard, skirting around the picnic table where Vincent was sitting with Marty and Badger, trying to look like they weren't drinking beer out of plastic cups. Around the house and out of sight. Duke turned his attention to the party. Everyone had tried their best to ignore his conversation with Maddy. Max, Willy and Jack stood with the girls around the fire. Jennifer and Laura were reading magazines by the glow of the porchlight. Groups had gathered around chairs and tables. The soft murmuring and laughter from them was comforting.

Duke stood, stretching, and crossed the yard, walked over the porch and into the kitchen. Mamma sat at the table with Grammy, steaming mugs of tea in front of them. Platters and bowls were drying on the counter, bereft of food. Everyone else was outside.

Mamma rose from her chair when she saw him, holding her arms open. Duke went to her and allowed her to wrap him in comfort, his own arms around her tight. He let his head rest on her shoulder. One hand came up, her fingers ran through his hair. The other rubbed his back in circles. "Oh, Kleiner. It's OK. Conrad..."

"Mamma...I..."

"Shhhh..." Her voice soothed, and she rocked him gently. "It's over now, Conrad. It's done."