Chapter 13 "The Peace"
A/N: Props to my beta and friend Tonya for bouncing ideas back and forth and for catching errors and inconsistencies and to Jo for her counsel. MM
Sunday, November 18, 2012
As they promised, Elliot and Olivia took Eli toy shopping. Elliot knew he went overboard, but he couldn't help himself. He rationalized that this would also be part of Eli's Christmas. He loved how Eli had taken to Olivia; her own devotion to his son was quite evident. He watched them examine and discuss toys and thought he hadn't been this at peace in a very long time. He was thrilled Olivia had decided to try to get pregnant. He knew without a doubt she'd make a wonderful mother, and he couldn't wait to make her one.
16th Precinct, Manhattan SVU squad room
Monday, November 19, 2012
Olivia was busy catching on up paperwork and fielding phone calls when suddenly Nick whistled. Confused, she turned her head to see what caused such a reaction. Her mouth dropped when she saw a delivery person heading into the squad room with a huge arrangement of red roses.
"I'm looking for Olivia Benson?" He looked around the room.
Olivia cleared her throat, cheeks red. "Uh, that's me."
"Sign here, please."
Olivia scribbled her name and took the heavy glass vase and set it on her desk. The roses smelled heavenly and there was baby's breath weaved among the flowers.
Nick sat at his desk with a smirk playing on his lips, while Munch and Amanda wandered over to see what the fuss was. Fin stood by, arms crossed, a knowing look on his face.
"Ah, what have we here?" Munch queried. "A mystery suitor?"
"He ain't no mystery," Fin muttered.
"What was that, Fin?" Amanda asked.
Olivia shot him a look. Fin nodded in understanding.
Nick didn't take the hint, however. He stood up and peered into the flowers. "Hey, there's a card!" He took it and held it up.
Olivia snatched it from him with a scowl. "Mind your own business," she said as she punched his arm.
He pretended it hurt. "Well, can you blame us for being curious? These past few weeks you've been more chipper than I've ever seen you, and today you get a big-ass bouquet of red roses. C'mon, Liv. Who's the guy?"
She ignored him while she read the card. "Liv, there are 4 dozen roses, 1 for each week we've been together. This past month has been the happiest of my life. Semper Fi. I love you. ~ El"
"Earth to Liv." Nick snapped his fingers in front of her face.
She snapped out of her trance. "Huh? Oh. Sorry." She sat down at her desk, dreamily admiring the roses.
Nick got a phone call and the others got tired of waiting.
Fin approached Olivia and sat on the corner of her desk. "Liv, don't you think it's time you tell everyone?"
Olivia sighed and rubbed her forehead. Elliot had indeed recently asked when she thought it was a good time for him to reconnect with the squad. Now was as good a time as any.
"You're right. Let me call him." She smiled up at Fin as she dialed her cell phone.
He smiled back and patted her shoulder before stepping away.
She went to a quiet corner of the squad room to have some privacy.
"Hello, gorgeous."
Her heart skipped. Olivia Benson was without a doubt a beautiful woman, but she never showed any haughtiness or indication that she knew it. When Elliot said it, however, he made her feel it.
"Hey handsome. How are things going with Eli?"
"Oh, we're just having a blast, aren't we, Eli?" he called to his son in the background. Olivia heard him respond but couldn't make out the words. Elliot chuckled. "God, I missed him. Liv, I . . . you . . . you're incredible, you know that?"
She looked at the roses and smiled. "Well, getting four dozen roses gave me a clue. Thank you, El. You are so sweet. They are just beautiful. But you got me in trouble, you know."
"Oh? How so? Cragen didn't get on you, did he? I'll talk to him," he replied.
"No, no. Not Cragen. I mean, everyone in the squad room wants to know who my mystery man is." She paused.
"And you're wanting to know if I think it's time to show my ugly mug," he finished.
"Well, I don't want to take away from your time with Eli."
He scoffed. "Nonsense. I'll just bring him with me and we can all go to lunch afterwards. How's that sound?" There was a shuffling noise then his voice was muffled. "Hey buddy, you wanna go see where Daddy used to work and where Olivia works now then we'll go get pizza?"
Olivia didn't have any problems understanding the boy's exuberant response. She laughed. "El, are you sure?"
"Babe, I'm sure. We'll be there in around 30 minutes. I love you." He made a kissing sound into the phone.
She turned toward the wall and covered her mouth. "I love you, too" and made a kissing sound. "Bye."
She returned to her desk. "Listen up. Since you all insist on nosing into my private life—" she shot a glance at Nick—"my 'mystery man' has agreed to come to the station and meet you all. So behave . . . or else."
The room was buzzing with her colleagues' murmuring, wondering who the man could be. She looked at Fin, who winked.
She tried to focus on work, but she did nothing more than move piles around her desk. She was rearranging the flowers for the eighth time when she heard Munch's surprised voice.
"Well, if it isn't Elliot Stabler! What happened? Did you ride in on the flood waters of Hurricane Sandy?" He clapped his former colleague on the back then they hugged.
"John, good to see you. Still deep in conspiracy theories?" Elliot asked.
"You mock."
Elliot raised his arms in mock innocence. "I mock not."***
"Just you wait." Munch noticed Eli and crouched down to his level. "And could this be young master Eli? Last time I saw you, you were yea high." He held out his hand to indicate Eli's height.
Eli looked questioningly at his father. Elliot bent down and explained that he and "Uncle Munch" used to work together. Eli didn't say anything but just nodded and stared at Munch, who ruffled the boy's hair before standing up.
Olivia approached them. Elliot wanted to kiss her, but he could tell that while she was open to introducing him to the squad as the man in her life, she wasn't quite ready for public displays of affection. He let her set the tone and followed her lead.
"All right everyone. Listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this once: Yes, Elliot and I are dating. Yes, he and Kathy are divorced. No, it's not going to interfere with my job and I'm not going to answer any personal questions. It's enough that you know he's the mystery man."
She turned to Elliot. "Let me introduce you to the newest members of the squad." She motioned for Nick and Amanda to come closer. "Elliot, Amanda Rollins, Nick Amaro. Amanda was with the Atlanta SVU. Nick transferred from Narcotics and Warrants. Nick, Amanda: Elliot Stabler, my former partner."
Elliot shook their hands. "Good to finally meet you. Liv's had nothing but words of praise for you two, so I know you've got her back."
"You know we do. That's how we roll," Nick said, discreetly sizing up the former detective to see if he merited the legend status he seemed to have around the 1-6. "And who's the little guy?" Nick asked in a kid-friendly voice.
"This is my son Eli," Elliot answered. "Eli, say hello to Detectives Rollins and Amaro."
"Hello. Do you have a gun like 'Livia does?"
Amanda bent down to Eli's level. "Yes, we do. But we only get them out when there are really, really bad, scary guys around trying to hurt us." She looked up at Elliot. "Mind if I take him to get a soda?"
He glanced at Olivia, who nodded. "Sure, go ahead. Here, let me give you some money," he said, taking out his wallet.
Amanda waved him off. "My treat. Eli, wanna come with me and get a soda? I'll show you where we get the bad guys to tell us what bad things they did." Eli enthusiastically agreed and took Amanda's hand.
"Don't be too long, son. We're going to have lunch with Olivia soon," Elliot called after him, doubting the boy even heard him. He smiled.
"Well, if it ain't the bulldog himself. How you been, Stabler?" Fin approached and fist-bumped Elliot before surprising him with a hug.
"Fin! Good to see you. I'm good." He looked at Olivia, who smiled. "Real good." He looked at the floor, scratching his chin. "Look, man, I really appreciate—"
Fin cut him off. "Nah, man. It's all good. You know I'd never let anything happen to our Liv." He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Like I told Liv, I'm happy you two finally stopped pretending you didn't have feelings for each other and are together now, but if you break her heart again . . . " He shook his head and a menacing glint shone in his eyes.
Elliot nodded in understanding, hands on his hips. "Gotcha, but I don't plan on doing anything of the sort. Hey man, we're gonna take off, but it was good to see ya. Oh and I know you've got her '6' and all—" he leaned in and lowered his voice—"but you're still not me. See ya," he said, clapping Fin on the shoulder, both of them chuckling.
Once the others had gone back to their prior business, Elliot took a look around. When he thought no one was paying attention, he snuck his arm around Olivia's waist and guided her to the squad room's side entrance. "What do you say we go find Eli and grab some lunch? Oh, by the way, is the Cap around? I can't pop in here and not say hi."
Olivia shook her head. "Meeting with the Chief of D's. I told him you'd be here, but he was running late."
"Next time." He glanced at her. "If that's okay with you that I become a familiar face around here again. I mean, to come see you."
She appreciated his concern for her comfort and need for discretion around her colleagues, but the reunion had gone more smoothly than she had anticipated and she relaxed a bit. "It's more than okay," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Babe."
…..
Elliot Stabler's apartment
Monday evening, November 19, 2012
After Eli was tucked in bed, Elliot and Olivia cuddled on the couch while having a glass of wine. At lunch they hadn't had much of a chance to have "adult talk" and Olivia wanted to know what it was like for him to step into the 1-6 for the first time in nearly two years.
She was lounging against him, her feet tucked behind her. She put her chin on his shoulder and looked up at him pensively.
"I know that look, Liv. What's on your mind?" he asked.
"Was it difficult to be back in the squad room? I mean . . . " She didn't want to upset him.
He ran a hand across the back of his neck and exhaled. "I'll be honest. Even though I've worked through a lot of shit in the last year or so, it was rough at first. The memories . . ." He took a deep breath. "But having Eli with me and knowing that we're together now helped me through it." He took a sip of wine before continuing. "It was great to see Munch and Fin again. I like Rollins and Amaro. And I think Eli has a little crush on Rollins!"
They both laughed. Olivia was relieved. Part of the reason she had wanted to put off his return to the precinct as long as possible was her own fears of him not being ready. Clearly she had had nothing to worry about, and she was glad she no longer had to be secretive about their relationship.
She placed a hand on his knee. "I'm glad it went well. Thank you for coming, especially unplanned like that."
He leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on her wine-reddened lips. "For you, Liv, anything," he whispered before capturing her lips and slipping his tongue inside her mouth.
They kissed for a few minutes, then Olivia quickly sat upright as a thought occurred to her. "El, what are we going to do Thursday, the real Thanksgiving Day?"
He looked confused. "We already celebrated it. I mean, yeah, it was actually for Eli's birthday, but . . . Wait. Liv, I don't expect you to do anything special Thursday." He rubbed her back.
She bit her lip, still not certain. "You don't?"
He smiled, amused. He cupped her cheek. "No, I don't. We already had a nice meal at Maureen's and Eli won't know the difference. Or we can just order some Chinese and tell him that's how they celebrate Thanksgiving."
She entwined her fingers with his. "Funny, El. Seriously, thank you, cuz I was about to go into panic mode. I've never had a Thanksgiving turkey before, let alone cooked one myself."
His heart broke a little. "You mean, your first Thanksgiving meal was Saturday at my daughter's house?"
"Well, aside from poor souls taking pity on us at the precinct and bringing us leftovers, yes. My mother and I had no one else, and she was usually too drunk to feed herself. I certainly didn't want her burning the apartment down trying to cook a turkey." Olivia hugged her knees to her chest.
Elliot turned to face her and gathered her in his arms. "Baby, I'm sorry you had to grow up that way. I wish I could go back in time and change it for you. Then again, maybe you wouldn't be the strong, selfless, caring woman I love today. Maybe we'd never even have met." He shuddered at the thought and kissed the top of her head.
They stayed wrapped together in silence for several minutes. Then Elliot cleared his throat.
"Liv, what happened at Sealview?"
Olivia stiffened in his embrace. He felt bad, but he had to know. He held her tighter, smoothing her hair a few times before slipping his hand under it to massage her neck.
"Why are you bringing this up now?" She didn't look at him.
"Because as bad as never having met you would have been, losing you would be the end of me," he said hoarsely into her hair, chin resting on her head.
"El, I was fi—" she started.
He pulled away. He took her wine glass and set it on the coffee table next to his. He placed his hands on her arms and guided her body to face his. "Liv, DON'T say it. You weren't fine! I was there. I saw it in your eyes. It haunted you for months, and sometimes I wonder if it ever stopped. You may have survived, but you were NOT fine. Liv, what happened in the basement?" He was almost shouting. He hadn't meant to, but he wasn't going to let her retreat into herself again. They were partners, for better or for worse, and to him that included letting him into her pain.
She looked down and her shoulders sagged. She knew he wouldn't let up, unlike he did four and a half years ago when she told him nothing had happened. She knew he hadn't believed her then, but she was relieved when he didn't persist. It was different now, and she knew that she needed to trust him with her past and that he needed her to trust him enough to open up about it. The thought occurred to her that he had been deeply affected by Sealview and needed to work through it himself.
She took a deep breath. She knew what he was asking, so she started there. There didn't need to be a lot of details; he just needed to know that something had indeed happened to her in that basement.
"He didn't rape me, but it's as close as I've ever come," she began, echoing her words to Dr. Warner. "During the TB quarantine, Parker accused me of starting a riot and Harris took me away, telling me he was taking me to solitary. Only he took me downstairs instead. When I asked what he wanted, he told me, 'What every man wants. And you're going to give it to me." She paused, her voice becoming shaky.
Elliot's heart wrenched in two. On one hand, he was relieved beyond measure that Olivia had not been raped, but at the same time, he blamed himself for not being able to protect her from getting that close. He shouldn't have let her go. If he'd only not gone to Sealview and revealed his identity, he could have at least gone undercover as a guard instead of Fin and maybe . . . Well, it was too late for 'what if's' now, and he needed her to get it all out. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew now was not the time. He remained silent and simply rubbed her arms.
"Once I saw the mattresses, I knew what he planned to do. I fought and yelled for help. At one point he uncuffed my hands and I punched him and ran and hid. He eventually found me, but before he did he threatened to kill me if I didn't show myself. He told me it'd be worse now because I stayed hidden. He hit me in the stomach and back with his night stick. I elbowed him in the gut and ran to a door, but it was locked." She paused, silent tears spilling over and cascading down her cheeks.
What Olivia couldn't see was that Elliot's eyes were also filled with tears. He just held her, waiting for her to continue.
She sniffled. "He cuffed me to the bars on the door and pressed me to it with his body. He unzipped his pants and told me I was dead if I bit him. That's when I saw he had a mole. That's how I knew to prompt Ashley into identifying Harris as her rapist. He . . . he was about to force himself on me when Fin arrived. You know the rest."
Elliot knew Fin had found Olivia and Harris, but Fin had never talked to Elliot about it, saying he should let Olivia tell him. He realized Fin had saved her, and he vowed to show his gratitude to his former colleague. He was also glad for Harris' sake that the asshole was in prison; if he'd known what had happened, Harris might be in the morgue instead.
After holding each other silently for a few minutes, Elliot pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ears and stroking her face. He kissed her gently. "Thank you for trusting me with that," he whispered. He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead before resting his chin against it.
"El, I'm tired. Let's go to bed."
Wordlessly they got up, put their arms around the other's waist, and went to bed.
New York City
Monday, December 24, 2012, Christmas Eve
Elliot and Olivia had been dating for two months, and they were closer than they ever thought possible. When they weren't working, they were together, spending the night in one or the other's apartment. He had been to the precinct a few times, meeting with Captain Cragen and on one occasion pulling Fin aside and simply thanking him for Sealview, to which Fin just nodded and shook Elliot's outstretched hand.
Elliot had Eli every weekend. To his surprise, Kathy was going to let him pick up Eli on Christmas Day. Olivia knew better, however; Kathy was obviously attempting to keep the peace after what she had done and not give Olivia any reason to make good on her threat.
Elliot would have pushed to have Eli on Christmas Eve, but he had made plans for him and Olivia. He wanted some private time, particularly to show her one of his gifts to her. He had refused to tell her his plans and had simply picked her up at the precinct at 4:00.
First he took her back to her apartment, where he decorated it while she was at work. She protested weakly, stating that she was never home to enjoy it, but inside she was deeply moved by his gesture and told him it was beautiful.
"And my favorite decoration of all," he announced as he stood them in the doorway to her bedroom. He grinned like a kid on . . . well, Christmas.
She looked around to see what she had missed: Tree, wreath, garland, candles, lights, even her decorative bowls filled with ornaments. She looked back at him. He simply pointed above their heads: Mistletoe.
Suddenly she attacked his lips and gave him one of the most powerful kisses they'd shared yet. He was stunned at first but quickly got in the spirit. When she started to remove his shirt, he reluctantly stopped her.
"Not yet, my love. No unwrapping the presents early; you'll have to wait until midnight."
Olivia pouted. "But we'll be at Mass and it'll be way after midnight when we get back." Elliot had asked her to accompany him to Midnight Mass, and to both their surprise she agreed. She knew his faith was an important part of his life, and therefore it was now more important to her.
He chuckled. "Then I guess you'll have to wait, silly girl." He grabbed her hands. "Come on. Next stop."
"Next stop? Where are we going?" she asked as she put on her hat, coat, and gloves as he directed.
He shook his head. "You'll just have to wait and see!" he said and flashed her his trademark smirk.
"Bastard." She slapped his arm.
"But I'm your bastard, and you love me." He leaned in for a kiss.
She opened her mouth to him. "Yes, El, I love you, very much so."
"I'll never get tired of hearing that," he murmured, their foreheads touching. "Now, let's go!"
Elliot took them to Central Park, where they went on a horse-drawn carriage ride. Despite living in Manhattan her whole life, Olivia had never been in one and loved it. She simply snuggled against Elliot and took in the sights of the city she loved, served, and protected from the different perspective.
Next they went to the Rink at Rockefeller Center and ice skated. It had been years since Elliot had gone with his kids, so he was a bit rusty, but to his surprise Olivia was quite good at it. He made a mental note to bring Eli with them before the winter was over. After skating, they grabbed a casual meal at a local diner, where they waited until it was time to get in line at the Fifth Avenue entrance to Saint Thomas Church.
Saint Thomas Church, 1 West 53rd Street
Christmas Mass, Solemn Eucharist of the Nativity
Before they entered the cathedral, Elliot spoke quietly to Olivia. "Are you nervous?"
She nodded her head, taking in the crowd and the atmosphere.
He squeezed her hand. "Don't be. I'm right here next to you. Remember what I told you before, but there will also be a program that you can follow the service with. You'll love it. On Christmas Eve the entire Saint Thomas Choir of Men and Boys sings the songs. It's beautiful."
It was very crowded, but they managed to find two seats together on the lower level near the middle on the left side of the aisle. Olivia enjoyed the organ and trumpet music of the prelude. When three ministers entered, she stood with everyone else. Eying her bulletin, she followed along and responded at appropriate times. She was pleased that she even knew the first song, "O Come All Ye Faithful," and began to relax a little. She glanced at Elliot and smiled, who smiled back and squeezed her hand.
She listened intently as a passage from Isaiah was read. Then the choir sang from the Psalms. Elliot was right; it was indeed glorious.
He looked over and was moved to see tears in her eyes as the choir sang. When the entire church sang "Joy to the World," her voice rang out as loud, if not louder, than his. He had been almost as nervous in asking her to come as she was about attending, but she seemed to be in the spirit and he relaxed too. He hoped this aspect of his life was something he could share more and more with her, but he would never push her. She would never let him.
They stood for the Gospel reading and the Nicene Creed and listened to the homily. They knelt for the general prayer for the church and the general confession. They stood for the Peace and greetings, always one of Elliot's favorite parts of the Mass. He watched her as she received and gave the peace to those around her, people she had never seen before and likely never would again. One of them could even be someone she'd someday interrogate as either a suspect or a victim. Right now none of that mattered. It was a time to forget the seemingly insurmountable problems of the world, give them to God, and receive His peace. When he and Olivia faced each other and gave the greeting, Elliot knew in his heart that he was indeed finally at peace.
Elliot had explained to her the two parts of Mass and that they were now in the Liturgy of the Eucharist and about to partake of the rite of Communion. He had told her beforehand that she would not be able to receive it, which did not bother her. He had gone to confession the previous day and, since it had been over an hour since they ate, he would take Communion. "You gonna be okay here by yourself until I return?" he whispered. She nodded. When he returned, they listened to the choir sing again and then knelt for the postcommunion prayer before being blessed and dismissed.
Elliot Stabler's apartment, Queens
Sometime after midnight, Christmas Day
They stood at the foot of Elliot's bed. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging on his bottom lip with hers. "Now do I get to open my Christmas present?" she said seductively.
"Presents," he corrected, swiping his tongue across her lips and lowering his hands to caress her ass. He crawled across the bed and retrieved something from under the pillows while she enjoyed the view she never grew tired of.
He handed her a long envelope. She looked at him questioningly.
"Open it!" he said with a grin before spinning her around so her back was to his front. He nuzzled her neck and ground his hips against her. "Do it quickly. As you can tell, I'm quite ready to give you part of your other present."
She let out a short moan before ripping open the envelope. Inside were two airline tickets . . . to Paris.
She whirled around to face him, utter shock on her face. "Really?!" She didn't recall when, but she had once told him that she had always wanted to go to France. Apparently he remembered.
"Yes, really. It's open-ended, but I hear Paris is beautiful in the spring."
She jumped up in his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Oh El! Thank you! I can't wait!" And we better not, she thought, considering my gift to him.
"Now, about that other present. Where is it?" she demanded before attaching her lips to his neck.
He set her down on the bed and gave her a cheeky grin. "You have to find it. All I will tell you is it's on my person." His cock twitched in anticipation.
When she realized there was nothing in his pockets, she quickly divested him of his clothing. She stroked his erection through his boxers. "Well, well, Stabler. Is this my other present?"
"Noooooo," he said in a strained voice. Her hands felt so good and were making it very hard to focus. Not that he really wanted or needed to. She'd find it soon enough.
"No matter," she said as she yanked his boxers off after quickly stepping out of her own clothes. She returned to caressing him. "It's all for me."
She lowered herself to her knees and began to take him into her mouth. Suddenly her eyes widened.
She found it, he thought with a smirk.
"When did you get this?" she gasped. There on his hip bone was a tattoo of a police badge with both their numbers and, below them, the words "EO Forever."
He laughed. "A couple days ago. You don't know how hard it was to come up with reasons why I was suddenly wearing boxers to bed. And you couldn't keep your hands off me! So, do you like it?"
She wiped away a tear. "El, I love it. It's beautiful, like you." She kissed the spot. She remembered the first night they made love and how he had discovered her tattoo: a police badge with both their numbers and the words "Semper Fi." And in the exact same spot as his. Tears fell anew as she recalled their first night and how it tied into her gift.
He knelt down in front of her. "Sweetheart, what is it? Why are you crying?" He held her hands.
"Oh El, I'm not sad! These are happy tears. I guess it's perfect timing to give you your gift." She went to the head of the bed and reached under her pillow and pulled out an envelope. She kneeled once again and gave him a wry smile at how they both had hidden their gifts under their pillows and both were in envelopes. With a shaking hand, she gave him the square envelope.
He tried to read her expression. When he found no clues, he tore open the envelope. Inside was a sonogram, the back of which simply said, "I'm pregnant."
Elliot's head shot up. "You . . . Really? You're, you're PREGNANT?"
She nodded. The next thing she knew she was airborne as he lifted her still-nude body into his arms and twirled her around.
He set her down and pressed his forehead to hers. "Really?" he said again.
"Really," she whispered. "El, I'm about eight weeks. I got pregnant the first time we made love. Before I went off birth control."
This time all he could do was open his mouth; no words came out.
"I guess we're getting a baby for Christmas after all!" she said. "Merry Christmas, El."
A/N: Liv's pregnant! They're gonna have a baby! Now I realize it's highly unlikely she would have become pregnant their first time & while on birth control, let alone after only two months of trying. But hey, this is my story, which, sadly, is soon coming to an end. I may write a sequel if there is enough demand. I wanna thank the reviewer who ends reviews with "El/Liv FOREVERRRRRR." Your support means more to me than you'll know! In the last few chapters: surprises, Valentine's Day, and more surprises. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. MM
***Anyone seen "The Souler Opposite"?