The Starvelympics: A Hunger Games Crackfic

By alidazzles

Chapter 13

The recap of the opening ceremony runs on every channel. We all take our dessert into the sitting room to watch, but no one pays attention until Peeta and I show up, glowing like fire and generally slutting it up. You can hear this guy in the crowd shouting, "Take me home, I must have you!" I think he's yelling at me until I hear, "I want in those leather pants!" Portia gets high-fives all around for that.

"Whose idea was the hand-holding?" Haymitch asks and the camera zooms in our our faces.

"Cinna's, I guess," shrugs Peeta.

"Just the perfect touch of innocence," he nods. "Very nice. People will connect to that."

Cinna whispers something in Haymitch's ear and he laughs, then looks over as us. "Anyway, tomorrow's the first training session, so I want you both up early to go over talents and strategies. Now get to bed, adults are talking."

"I'm not tired," Peeta crosses his arms, though he's clearly exhausted.

"I don't care, get lost."

"Ugh, fuck you," I mean to snap, but it comes out in a sleepy drawl. I yawn, "Fuck you in the morning. I mean, see you. I mean…" and Peeta carts me out, bleary-eyed.

When we get to my door, Peeta leans against the frame, blocking my way. "So, crazy finding a girl like Lafawnduh all the way out here, huh?" he asks. He clearly wants to know who I really saw tonight. Now that I remember her, though, it's not a story I want to share with Peeta of all people.

"It was no one, really. Let's just go to bed."

"Come on, Katniss. Tell me."

"Fuck off, Peeta." I take a step around him.

"Oh please, Katniss." Peeta's holding back a laugh as he puts his hands together and gives me this look that he probably thinks is stupid but makes me wonder if Jesus personally sculpted his cheekbones. "Dying man's last wish?"

"Now I definitely won't," I laugh.

Peeta grabs my arm. "Want to see something awesome, then?" His grin is all crinkly and his eyes are a little crazy with fatigue. It must be past two at least. At school they used to say that people in the Capitol get these chips implanted in their heads so they never have to sleep. I never believed it back then, but it must be true. It explains a lot, now that I think of it. Like how they can party for weeks on end without rest, or how they have time to think up all these dumb new trends and fashions, or – you know – why they're so fucking crazy in general.

Peeta stops in front of heavy door on the top floor. It pushes open onto the roof of the hotel. Cool air rushes over us, and we step out.

The view is incredible. There is so much shit in this city, and I can see all of it. Skyscrapers, rooftop gardens, huge marquees flashing the names of celebrities I've never heard of. The dull roar of parties and conversations and music, even from all the way up here.

Peeta rushes over to the railing at the edge and I follow, feeling high and tired and crazy. I look straight down the side of the building to the street. Everyone looks so small.

"Aaaah!" Peeta shouts. Just because he can. "I'm so tired, oh my god, I hate this place!" I know exactly how he feels. Every breath we take is recorded in this city, but up here, where the wind is so loud and we're so far up, we finally have some freedom.

"Fuck you all!" I scream down at the city. No one even looks up. This sets Peeta into hysterics. I punch him in the shoulder and sit back on the roof. "Do you want to hear this story or not?"

Peeta lies beside me on the concrete. His shirt rides up the tiniest bit. I suddenly really miss Gale's abs.

"It happened in the Ghetto, maybe two years ago. I'd just gotten my driver's permit and we were both really excited," I whisper.

"You and your mother?" Peeta whispers back.

"No, my friend Gale. We were taking it slow on the main street, but I really hit the gas on the backstreets. The Peace Cops never patrol back there, too dangerous. So Gale and I are cruising down the alleys, singing along to Ridin' Dirty, when suddenly there's this thunk and Gale's freaking out, like 'Stop the car! Stop the car!'"

"You hit the Avox girl with your car?" Peeta gasps, but he's also grinning a little, so I know it's okay to keep going.

"No," I laugh, covering my face. "It was worse."

I remember it so clearly now, it's weird that I ever forgot. When I close my eyes, I remember kneeling behind the car, pointing at the poor little animal lying motionless under the back wheel, this red-haired girl running towards us with a curling iron, screaming "You killed Mr. Whiskers! You monsters, you killed him, I'll fucking kill you!" at the top of her lungs and Gale dragging me back to the car, screaming "We gotta bounce, Katniss. Bitch, hit the gas! Drive, drive!"

"The image of that crazy bitch's face was burned into my mind for weeks after her. I'm surprised she didn't choke me out when she saw me tonight."

Peeta takes in the story, opens his mouth to responds, and busts out laughing instead. "You ran over her cat? That's actually evil."

"Shut up," I shove him. "I felt bad about it later."

"I wonder how she ended up here."

I shake my head. "No idea."

"Your friend Gale. He's the one from the Reaping, right?"

"Why, do you know him?"

"Not really," shrugs Peeta. "He's just got really nice abs, is all."

"Yeah, well, an angel came down from heaven and like kissed his tummy when he was little, or something."

Peeta doesn't laugh. I look over and poke him once. He's asleep. It must be almost four by now. I tousle his glorious hair and tip-toe across the roof, back inside.

..

When I open my door, I see the redheaded girl putting away some clean towels and straightening my sheets. It's kind of awkward. I want to say hi or something, but I remember we aren't supposed to talk to Avoxes except to give orders.

"Uh, why don't you take the night off or something? I can put these away."

She gives me a hard look, but nods and walks out, though not before pointing to the memo pad on my bedside table. I kick off my shoes and slip into a soft sleeping gown before falling into bed. When curiosity gets the best of me, I take a peek at the memo pad the Avox left. On the first page, scrawled across the top in red marker are three words:

fuck you whore

It's nice to know I have fans in the Capitol.

So i herd you liek the Starvelympics? I've been remaking some old Hunger Games song parodies (Yeah, I'm cool) this week, so check them out on YouTube:

youtube .com/watch?v=0xHZp_d3obI

youtube .com/watch?v=oOgFjxpb7Lw

keep it classy; Alice x