Author's Notes: Italicized text indicates thoughts, memories; ~ "text" ~ indicates telepathy.
xxx TTP xxx
Cara stepped over to John and rested her hand on his shoulder as he composed himself, wiping the tears from his eyes. John slowly stood up, still leaning against the wall for support. The distraught look on his face broke her heart. She gently grabbed his neck and pulled him into a hug.
The action unlocked something in his mind. He was taken back to the Lair and that room ... he was leaning on the back of the couch when Cara rushed over to him and hugged him.
In the present, he broke away from her.
"What? What is it, John?" Cara followed him.
"You ... you hugged me like that after the Founder took my powers," John said. "He let me go and I found my way back to that place ... the room with the couch ... TIM's room."
He turned to look at Cara then walked back to her and held out his hands.
"Take my hands," he said.
Cara hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"Yes ... Cara."
Her eyes widened and she was momentarily breathless. It had been too long since she had heard him say her name like that, with the warm inflection he used to reserve for when they were alone. She looked at him and saw a small spark of recognition in his eyes.
Cara held out her hands. John grasped them and concentrated. For her part, Cara focused on every memory - good and bad - that she had of John, bringing them to the forefront of her mind.
As he saw the moments in her mind, the walls in his started to crack.
John focused even more and the barriers crumbled away revealing a multitude of moments to him ... there was the slow dance at the club when they were trying to be normal ... Cara telling him to pack his stuff, kicking him out of the Lair ... her running up to him telling him to get out of the city ... him trying to dissuade her from breaking into the Citadel and her telling him to stay behind to be her eyes and ears ... her telling him she wasn't going to let another one of them suffer the fate of what Jedikiah did to him ... him telling her he had to leave because he was vulnerable and it put her in danger ...
As the gap slowly filled, John let go of Cara's hands and allowed those memories to sink in, reinforcing the ones in his mind. Each memory became stronger.
Suddenly the rest of the barriers disappeared and John was assaulted with an avalanche of memories and the feelings that accompanied them. He fell to his knees, overwhelmed by it all.
"John!" Cara rushed over to him.
He held up his hand to stop her. He wasn't in pain.
"They're gone," John stood up, looked at her and smiled.
"What?"
"The walls are gone, I remember."
Cara almost knocked him over with the force of the hug she gave him. He wrapped his arms around her and just reveled in her embrace, whispering "I remember."
After a few minutes, she let go and asked "You remember everything?"
"I think so," John replied then stepped away from her. "I don't sense the gap any more."
He leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and concentrated again to test his memory. This time he focused on Russell and the memories were there ... fighting alongside him ... playing chess and the subsequent fit Russell would throw when John beat him ... training with him... Russell saying "I promised myself I wouldn't cry" when welcoming John back to the Lair after Cara had kicked him out ... Russell asking "you're sure you weren't some kind of chess prodigy" when he refused to play the game with him anymore which forced John to challenge TIM whenever he wanted a match ... helping Russell travel across the country to attend his Dad's funeral ... him berating Russell for levitating a bus for a bachelorette party and Russell responding "I blew their minds, John" ...
John chuckled at the memories.
"Oh, Russell," he said and shook his head.
Wanting to remember it all, he closed his eyes once more and tried to access different memories.
This time he happened across Astrid ... him noticing her staring at him at Stephen's party ... her showing him tough love after he lost his powers ... her telling him about her bucket list ... him grabbing her and teleporting her to safety ... her telling him he's the bravest and stubbornest person she ever met and asking why he hid all that courage ... him calming her down when she thought they were about to die ... her teasing him that he's not ready to visit the outer boroughs yet ... him telling her everyone dies then her taking his hand as they jumped out the back of a subway car ... them working together to help Cara and Russell break into Ultra ... her singing to him ... him giving her his lucky jacket ... her laughing when she told him how Stephen was insinuating there was something more when John helped her ...
This lead him into memories of Stephen ... him 'helping' Stephen at his basketball game and the ensuing fight ... Stephen telling him the Tomorrow People needed him ... him injecting Stephen to help him find limbo ... Stephen asking him where his Dad's body was ... them fighting the Founder's guards ... Stephen letting him crash at his house when Cara kicked him out of the Lair ... him telling Stephen to get Roger out of there when he had tranquilized the man to take his place in their plan to destroy the machine ...
He felt a pang of grief when the memories transitioned to Jedikiah. Yet there was something else too ... anxiety. It almost seemed like a voice in his head telling him he shouldn't go there, but he had to know; he needed to know everything.
Chess with Jed when he was seeking John's help ... Jedikiah showing him Roger's body ... Jedikiah asking for forgiveness ... Jedikiah telling him "just a man? That is all a father could want for his son" and hugging him ...
John took a moment to think "those weren't so bad", then realized they felt different than the others. He was reliving the moments, but was somewhat detached from them. He wasn't sure what his emotions were at the time. He waved it off as his grief overshadowing his actual feelings from the moment.
He continued ... Jedikiah calling out to him and telling him he finally decided to come home and how he would never see their 'Promised Land' then pulling the trigger on the gun he was aiming at him ... Jedikiah responding that he couldn't tell him because it was all part of the plan ... Jedikiah telling him he made him perfect ...
Most of the memories were quick flashes of moments until he got to the next one ... Jedikiah was going to restore his powers. He was strapped into the chair and as prepared as he could be for the needles to plunge into his back. Just mere moments before the procedure started, Jedikiah leaned over and whispered, "I found a way to take back what I did to you" …
His eyes opened wide as the realization hit ... Jedikiah took his memories.