-Harry-

"Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione asks me when she realizes that I'm not going to stop walking.

"I'm getting as far away from that as I can," I say.

"Please talk to me," she says.

I stop and turn around to face her. I don't really want to hear what she wants to say because I know she's just going to yell at me and I just can't deal with that right now.

"You're hurting Draco," she says.

I knew it would be something like this.

"And how would you know?" I ask.

"Because he's my friend, Harry! He has been since I realized that you truly loved him," she says.

"He hurt me! I'm trying to… I.. I don't know what I'm trying to do," I trail off.

"Honestly, you're acting childish and it's almost callous. You know how he feels about Ron, but you kiss him and sleep in his arms. Draco is supposed to be your comfort. I think you should see someone," she says.

"See someone?" I ask.

"We all do. You aren't reacting to the… to the rape. You act like it never happened, but you're pushing Draco and all of your friends away to pull Ron closer. I think it may have something to do with it," Hermione says.

"You all do," I say harshly.

How dare they go behind my back and decide that there's something wrong with me? I'm doing okay. It's embarrassing to be fragile and needy. I've learned, via the Dursleys, to shield my pain from view. I was really proud of myself for sleeping beside Ron, but they're taking my progress and twisting it into something awful. I'm not broken.

"You're acting like you're in love with Ron. It isn't fair to him or to Draco. Ron hasn't noticed it yet, but he will, and he'll be crushed when he realizes you don't mean it," she says.

"I'm fine!" I shout.

She shakes a little bit but pulls me into a hug. We sink to the floor and I cry. Why am I crying? I hate this. I shake myself free and stand up.

"Do you mean it?" she asks while getting to her feet.

I ignore her.

"Send Ron out to me. Please?" I say quietly.

The tears streaming down my face must feel like progress to her because instead of reminding me how terrible of a person I am, she nods.

I sit back on the floor and put my head in my hands.

"Harry?" Ron's voice sounds less Ron than usual. It's like he's holding himself back. I look up and see that he's standing about five feet away from me.

"Please," I whisper.

My throat stings. He walks towards me and sighs.

"You're supposed to hate me. You aren't supposed to ask me to hold you while you cry," he says.

"I need you. No one else. It can't be anyone else," I say desperately.

He sinks to his knees and gathers me in his arms.

"How can I deny you?" he asks.

I twist my fist into Ron's robes and bury my face in his chest. I sit there and just breathe in the smell of Ron. I almost immediately calm down, but stay attached to him just because I can.

"Please tell me what you're thinking," Ron says.

"I don't know. I want to feel bad that I kissed you and that it hurt Draco. I want to feel just dreadful. I told him that it didn't mean anything, and this morning it didn't, but right now it's everything. I want to be in love with Draco, silly in love with him, but I can't. Why can't I? What is wrong with me?" I say.

He holds me to him tightly and runs his hand up and down my back.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Harry," he says.

"You think I need a Mind Healer like Hermione and Draco do, don't you?" I say sadly.

"I think," he says carefully, "I think that you are coping in a way that isn't exactly.. healthy, but it seems to be working for you, at least right now."

I let out a shuddering sob. There is something wrong with me. I'm broken. I'm filthy.

I have to beg Ron to hold me. No one could want such a broken shell. Ron holds me more tightly.

"Don't let anyone make you think you're broken, Harry. You are anything but. You're the strongest and bravest person that I've ever known. What I did…" he says.

"No! No, don't you ever say it. You are not him. You aren't Voldemort. I just.. I..I" I say.

"Please don't," he says.

I turn my face away.

"Don't throw away Draco for me. Once you get better you'll realize you only think you need me because I understand the pain that you're going through," Ron says.

I stand up and wipe my face roughly. Maybe the atmosphere in the common room is what I need after all.