13
That Friday morning, Jess is working at the ADD when her phone rings. "John," she says, smiling as she answers it, "How are you darling?"
"Excellent now that I've spoken to you," he replies smoothly, "Listen, we're having another night out. Will you come? Say you'll come, babe, we haven't seen you since the wedding and I want to hear all about your fabulous honeymoon!"
"Can I bring Hil?" she asks doubtfully and hears his laugh.
"Honestly, most married couples would be glad of sometime apart," he replies, "Of course you can bring your husband; you don't even have to ask. I can't underplay the extent of my affection for him."
"Hands off you," she giggles, "He's all mine. Yeah, ok, we'll come. When?"
"Tonight?" he asks, "And don't say you're working again, you're always working."
"No, I'm off shift," she says, "But he doesn't finish until 8 so he'll probably be a bit late."
"Jessica Becker," Lester says from behind her, "What did I say about taking personal calls in the workplace?"
"Do it?" she suggests, grinning at him, before turning back to her phone call, "Sorry, John, I've got to go, the boss is on. I'll see you later though, yeah?"
"Love you, princess," he says, "Speak soon."
"Love you too," she laughs, hanging up the phone and turning back to her report.
"You're not cheating on my boy, are you?" Matt asks, dropping into a seat beside her, "Because I'm afraid I'd have to frown on that."
"Lucky I'm not then," she replies, grinning at him, "I was just arranging to see some friends this evening. All very above board, Becker will be there as soon as he's finished his shift."
"Is it hard for you two?" he asks seriously and she frowns, examining him.
"Hard?" she asks, "We work with dinosaurs and gateways in time and you're asking if it's hard being in a relationship?"
"No, just…being married?" he presses, "Does it not make it more difficult to concentrate on self-preservation?"
"None of us have ever thought about self-preservation," she replies coolly, "Hell, the whole reason you're here is because you wanted to preserve the human race. Matt, being married makes no difference at all, except that I have a lot more fun outside of work than I did before."
"What do you mean?" he asks, leaning forwards.
"Before I started going out with Becker, the only thing I looked forward to was coming to work," she admits, "I got to see him every day, got to do a job I was good at and got to spend time with people I liked. But now when I'm at home, I can enjoy myself and still look forward to work, and when I'm at work, I can actually look forward to going home."
"Do you think Emily likes me?" he says, sitting back, and she breaks into a wide smile before straightening her face.
"Matt Anderson," she replies seriously, "If you don't ask Emily to marry you soon, I'm going to do it for you. You two are meant to be together."
"What if she doesn't say yes?" he asks nervously.
"She will," Jess replies, "Trust me – you don't see the way she looks at you when she thinks no one will notice."
"How do I do it?" he queries, "How did Becker do it for you?"
"Well, that's up to you," she answers, "Only you know how your relationship with Emily truly works. Becker asked me in the car, on the day of our wedding, because he knows I don't like stress. It's a personal thing, the most personal thing, and I don't believe Emily would appreciate it if you made a big fuss in front of lots of people. But you'll be fine."
"Thanks Jess," he says, kissing her forehead, "See you later."
"What were you talking to Matt about?" Becker says, dropping into the recently vacated seat.
"He's going to propose to Emily," she says in a low voice, beaming.
"That's awesome," he replies, grinning, "When?"
"That's his business," she scolds, "What do you want?"
"I want to take you to dinner," he replies, "Tonight?"
"Actually, we've got plans tonight," she explains, "We're going out with John and the others – you can join us as soon as you've finished your shift."
"Do we have to?" he moans, "I wanted to have a night to ourselves."
"Stop it," she reprimands, "We don't want to become antisocial – it's just one night."
"Yeah, ok," he agrees, "The usual place?"
"Thank you," she smiles, kissing him, "I love you."
"Funny how you only say that when you want something," he laughs, sticking his tongue out.
"Lies!" she objects, turning back to her work, "Not that it matters, you know how much I love you. Now leave me alone, I need to do this before I go."
"Come and see me before you leave," he says, "Love you."
She shoos him but can't keep the smile off her face and is in a good mood for the rest of the day. At 6.30, she walks into the shooting range and immediately Becker calls a ceasefire. The soldiers salute as soon as they spot her, and then Becker grins at her.
"You off?" he asks, "Are you sure we have to go out tonight?"
"Yes," she says firmly, "And don't wear your work clothes – I've left some nice stuff in your locker."
"Ok," he agrees albeit reluctantly, "I'll see you later."
"Yeah you will," she grins, "Be careful. I love you."
"I love you too," he says gently, "Don't worry about me."
"I always worry about you," she replies, kissing him, "Bye."
Jess hurries home, changes into something more suitable and goes down to the restaurant, collapsing in a seat next to John. "Long day?" he asks brightly, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"Long week," she replies, "But it's Friday and things can only get better from here."
"How long is your husband gonna be?" Phoebe asks, "God that sounds weird. I never thought you'd be the first to get married."
"About an hour, maybe a little more?" she suggests, "I'm hoping our boss will let him off a little early, he owes me."
How was the honeymoon?" Rob asks, leaning forwards, "Good month?"
"Awesome month actually," she beams, "No, it's all very comfortable – I'm so happy."
"But you're still working a lot?" Mike notes, "Is that not disruptive?"
"No, of course not," she laughs, "We work together all the time, we have a laugh."
"But-" Rob begins but her phone rings.
"Sorry, guys," she apologises, "I really should take this, it might be important." She walks away slightly and says, "What is it, Matt?"
"Jess," he says, and she already knows what's coming, "I'm sorry, but he's been attacked." Her breathing cuts off, her heart stops and her phone falls from her hand, clattering to the floor, as a tear rolls down her cheek.
Immediately John bolts, diving for the phone and starts speaking into it. "Who is this?" he says, "What have you said to Jess?"
"This is her team leader and you need to put her back on the phone now," Matt replies, "I don't care if she's fainted, if she's crying, what, I need to talk to her."
"What's happened?" he asks urgently, "Can I not give her a message?"
"Tell her that he is going to be fine," he snaps, "But that he needs her here. She needs to snap out of it and support her husband."
"Ok, I'll tell her," he says, and repeats the message to Jess who watches him, disorientated for a moment.
"Sorry," she says eventually, "I have to go." She snatches her phone out of John's hand, and runs out of the restaurant. All the way back to the ARC, she cries silently, terrified for her husband, but when she gets inside, she wipes away the tears, determined to be strong. "What happened?" she asks, sliding down the wall to sit next to Abby; the whole team are sitting on the floor outside the med bay.
"He was helping me feed the animals," she explains quietly, "One of the creatures just lunged, slashed him in the neck; there was nothing anyone could do."
"And what did the doctor say?" she asks emotionlessly, staring at the door as if she could will it open.
"He said he'd be fine," Matt promises, "They're giving him stitches and he needs a blood transfusion. He'll be out cold for a few hours but he'll be fine."
"Did he say anything?" she asks, tears rolling down her cheeks, "Did he ask for me?"
"Several times," Lester says, slightly exasperated, "He said to tell you that he loves you and that there's no way he's leaving you alone."
She nods, but overwhelmed now, she doesn't speak again for the next few hours. Abby falls asleep with her head in Connor's lap, Emily slumps on Matt's shoulder and even Lester starts to look tired, but Jess doesn't move. At 3 o clock, the bell rings for shift change and she blinks, shocked by the rate at which time is passing.
"Jess," Emily says, suddenly noticing the shade of green the girl has turned, "Are you feeling ill?"
The field coordinator opens her mouth to reply, and bolts down the corridor, throwing up in a corner. "Oh my god," Abby says, rushing to her side, "Jess, sweetheart, are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she says, wiping her mouth, "I must have eaten something funny. I need to get back to him."
"You need to go home and sleep," Matt says firmly, "You've been up for hours, Jess, and it's not going to do him any good if you're ill."
"Matt, I respect you as my team leader and you know I'll do anything you ask of me," she says resolutely, "But this is my husband we're talking about and with all due respect, this is completely my call."
He opens his mouth to reply, possibly object, but the doctor sticks his head out of the door and says, "Jess, he's asking for you." Jess doesn't even hesitate, bolting through the door and into his room.
"Hilary, sweetheart," she murmurs, kissing his hand, "I'm here. What can I do?"
"Stay with me," he says weakly, turning his head to look at her, "Talk to me."
"Matt and the others are really worried about you," she says lightly, "And that's the second time I've left dinner with the gang. I thought you said you were gonna be careful."
"Not my fault," he replies disapprovingly, "Blame Abby and her bloody pets."
"It's not anyone's fault," she promises, "Don't worry, it'll all be ok, the doctor said you're gonna be fine."
"Will you still love me if I have horrible, ugly scars?" he asks and his voice is thick.
"I love you because you're the kindest, funniest, bravest person I know," she murmurs, "I will always love you. Promise."
"I guess that's alright then," he says with a weak smile, "Tell me something to cheer me up."
"I think I might be pregnant," she says without thinking, and they both gasp.
"Are you sure?" he asks, voice stronger now, "How is that even possible?"
"No," she admits, "But I'm late and I've been regular since I was 14. We had a night a few weeks ago, remember? We didn't even think. I didn't want to mention anything, but I just threw up and it's looking more likely. I can get a test –do you want me to wait until you can be there?"
"We'll do it together," he says warmly, struggling to sit up, "This is our life, right? Who said we'd let some grumpy dinosaur get in our way?"
"I love you," she says tearfully, "I'm glad you're alive."
"Oh great," he says sarcastically, "Because one of my full time worries is that you won't even miss me if I died."
"You're silly," she laughs, leaning up to kiss him, "Can I get the others in? They want to see you."
"No, don't leave," he says, weaker again now, "Stay here with me."
"Always," she murmurs, "I'll never leave you. You sleep now and I'll be right here when you wake up."
"I'm sorry I ruined your evening," he says incoherently, "I did actually want to come."
"I know you were just using this injury as an excuse to get out of it," she laughs softly, trying not to cry, "I see right through your lies."
"I love you," he murmurs, eyes fluttering closed now.
"Same here," she says, tears dripping off her nose, "Goodnight." His eyes close again and he starts to snore gently.
"Ok?" Matt says from behind her, "How's he feeling?"
"He's gonna be just fine," she replies, not bothering to turn around, "Thanks for calling me, Matt."
"Anytime," he says gently, "Like you say, he's your husband. Your call. Are you feeling ok now?"
"Yeah," she shrugs, "Don't know what happened there."
"Would you like me to pop to the chemist?" he asks, "You can do a test when Becker wakes up?"
Finally she spins to face him and tears are pouring down her face as she sobs, "What do I do if I am? How can I have a baby when this is going to happen?"
He rushes forward and pulls her into a hug, murmuring, "Jess, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But any child of yours will be the most loved child in all of history and I know that every single person who works here would lay down their life for it." She nods, overcome with emotion and he says, "I'll ask Abby to come and sit with you while I pop to the chemist, ok?"
"Matt," she calls as he walks away, and he turns back questioningly, "I love you."
"I love you too," he replies gently, "Don't worry, Jess, everything's gonna be fine."
A few minutes later, Abby walks in and hugs her best friend close. "Are you ok, sweetheart?" she murmurs, "I know how hard this must be for you."
"He's gonna be fine," she replies, "And that's all that matters to me."
"No it's not," Abby states, "This is your life, Jess, near-death experiences and danger. It's hard to take sometimes."
"I know," she says, turning back to Becker, "But at least I can be here for him – if he was out in Afghanistan, getting shot at, the next time I'd see him is in a box."
"Oh Jess," Abby says, tears pooling in her eyes, but Jess shakes her head.
"I'm ok, Abby, honestly," she replies, "I chose this, remember? Could you leave us alone, please? I just want some peace."
"Of course," Abby says, "Call me if you need anything, ok?"
She leaves the room, and Jess eventually falls asleep, slumping forwards. About four hours later, Matt returns and shakes her awake, murmuring, "Jess, wake up. Come on, we'll find you somewhere more comfortable to sleep."
"I'm not leaving him," she replies drowsily, "I'm fine here. Did you get it?"
"Yeah," he replies, passing her a bag, "Do you need anything else?"
"No," she shakes her head, "Thanks though. What time do you want me back on shift?"
"Actually, Jess, we're putting you both on leave with immediate effect," he explains, "We think you need time to recover from this."
"I'm fine," she snaps, "He's the one who got attacked – don't tell me I can't work."
"You're emotionally compromised," he replies, "It's not safe for you to be here."
"How long?" she asks dejectedly, "You know what he's like, he'll be clamouring to be back here within 24 hours."
"Stay with him," he replies, "Have fun, take a couple of weeks off. Concentrate on your baby."
"The baby we don't even know exists," she says coolly.
"So find out," he says gently, "Jess you can't put your whole life on hold for your job – this is exactly what you were berating Evan for just a few weeks ago."
"I'm not," she snaps, "I'm married, I'm happy, what more do you want from me?"
"I want you to have a normal life," he replies sadly, "You're the only one in this team who is supposed to be completely safe."
"Let's not be ridiculous," she says, "I'm never gonna be safe here."
"Then maybe you need to think about leaving," he says abruptly and Jess' jaw drops open.
"Is that what you want?" she says coolly.
"I want you to be happy and safe," he replies furiously, "You are the only person here who has any chance of living a normal life."
"I'm married to him," she snaps, "I'm part of this place whether I work here or not, whether you like it or not, and to be honest there is no way in hell you could find someone who is as good at this job as I am."
Matt frowns and storms out, slamming the door. "Why are you shouting?" Becker says woozily, "What's going on?"
"Nothing, sweetheart," she whispers, bending down by his head, "I'm sorry I woke you. Just go back to sleep."
"No, I'm not tired," he says, sounding exhausted, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just a disagreement," she promises. "I've got a test here – do you want me to do it now?"
"Yeah, ok," he says, struggling to sit up, "Why were you arguing with Matt?"
"God, you are alert," she says, diving into the bag, "It's nothing, just being an idiot. Come on, I'll go pee on a stick."
"Tell me what's going on," he says, as she disappears behind a screen, "What is wrong with Matt?"
"Really, babe, it's nothing," she replies, "He's being silly."
"What happened?" he repeats, and she groans, "Jessica, I'm not going to let this go."
"He wants me to leave," she blurts out, "He doesn't want me working here anymore."
"What?" Becker says incredulously, "He doesn't mean that, Jess, he's probably just stressed."
"He thinks that I shouldn't stay here, that it's too dangerous," she explains, "He doesn't understand our relationship and I feel very undervalued right now, like he could just bloody replace me."
"Jess, nobody thinks that," he says soothingly, as she reappears, "We all know how valuable you are – I'd be dead if it weren't for you."
"That's not the point though," she replies angrily, "Because he's totally right, I am so vulnerable and helpless and pathetic. Like what is even the point?"
"Jess," he says, "Sweetheart, don't even think about it, ok? You are the strongest person I know – who else can fight off five future predators with one bullet and survive? Who else here can hack into top secret government cameras in under a minute? Who else can disable a bomb with no previous training? You're amazing."
"I want to learn to fight," she insists, "I want field experience, I want to prove that I'm not as weedy as everyone thinks." Becker opens his mouth to reply when she looks down at the test and swears colourfully, "Great, I can't even get pregnant properly. I'm going home."
"No, not without me," he snaps, "You promised you'd stay with me and you're not going away just because you're in a huff."
"Excuse me?" she says, "Have you any idea how much shit I've been through in the last 24 hours?"
"Jess, please," he begs, but she cuts him off with an exasperated squeal.
"No, shut up!" she shrieks, "I thought you were going to die, you arsehole! And I was the one sitting out in that corridor, fighting back tears, terrified. I was the one who sat by your bed all night, worrying about what would happen if I really was pregnant. I was the one that stood there and listened to Matt, someone I count as my best friend, tell me that I'm too vulnerable to do my job. And then I find out that I'm not even pregnant, so now I can't be a mother or have a job. Do not tell me I can't go home when I feel like the crappiest person in the world right now."
"Jess," he repeats, "Please calm down. You're right; of course you're right, just go home and get some rest. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
"I don't think there's anything to say," she snaps, and storms out, leaving Becker alone.
A few minutes later, Matt and Abby enter, looking frantic. "What's happened?" Matt says anxiously, "Jess just drove out of here at top speed."
"You happened," Becker says angrily, struggling out of bed and pulling on a shirt, "Why did you tell her that you wanted her to leave the ARC?"
"You said that?" Abby says incredulously, "Matt we would be dead within a week if Jess went."
"She's pregnant," he replies, "And she has no training in the field and no military qualification which is what we agreed was required for the ARC. It's not safe."
"No she's not pregnant," Becker snaps and he can't keep the devastation out of his voice, "So that point is void. She's also not a field worker, which makes the military qualifications unnecessary. She is the best qualified person for her job and it would be insane of you to fire her. In addition, if you do decide to let her go, you can say goodbye to me as well."
"Are you serious?" Matt says, "You'd quit for her?"
"We're a team," he replies murderously, "And we all work so well together – if she's not here, I can't do my job properly, so I'm out."
"Actually, Matt," Abby pipes up, "I'd have to agree with him on this one. Jess is what makes us successful; I don't know if I want to continue without her."
"You're both blinded by your love for her," he snaps, "Jess will die if she stays here."
"That is not your decision to make," he replies furiously, "I am her husband and I think she needs to be here. But do you know what, Matt? You're right, because Abby and I both love her so much, and she loves us. And she loves you too, more than you could possibly know, but you just threw that and everything she's done for you back in her face."
"Go home, Becker," Matt retorts, "Stay away for a while."
"No chance, Anderson," Becker says icily, "Both Jessica and I will be here bright and early tomorrow morning."
"You're on medical leave," Matt shouts, as Becker walks out of the room.
"Then I'll do some paperwork," he calls back over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow."