A/N: Sorry for the wait, guys! I had some real trouble writing this chapter, i hope it's not too obvious. I'm so tired right now, and i hope i'm making sense! :) ENJOY

Chapter Thirteen

Truth

Withdrawal is not an easy concept.

It's like being hooked to an addictive drug, supplied to you readily and whenever you desired it, and then being cut off completely. For a while, you're just in a daze, confused and slowly deteriorating, and then the impact of true abandonment hits you fast and hard and you fall from grace. My personal withdrawal from the one thing I needed most was slowly taking a toll on me.

Each night I tried furiously to stay awake. I would tell Edward that he could not stay with me for some reason or other, and then sit up in my bed and wait patiently, my hand running over my 'Wuthering Heights' novel and my eyes gazing blearily out the window. I waited, and waited. He never came. Something inside of me always knew he wouldn't, but it felt pointless if I didn't hope.

Edward was growing slowly suspicious of my detachment and asked me again if he had done something wrong.

I looked at him from over the blank page of my biology notebook and put a finger to my lips as if to shush him. The teacher is giving a lesson. Besides, I don't really want to deal with you right now.

He turned his head back to the teacher but his eyes burned slightly in frustration. I sighed gratefully at the fact he couldn't read my mind. My gaze fell back onto the empty notebook page where I feigned taking notes. Empty, empty, empty. That's all there was now; emptiness.

I wondered endlessly when I could see him again. I could hurt myself and visit him at the hospital, but Edward would indefinitely go with me. I could drop by the house at any given time, but the six other vampires living there would be an obstacle. I knew I had dug this hole for myself, me and him both, but even in knowing I had plotted my demise, I hadn't prepared myself for this. I could only wonder how he was feeling, and I hoped it wasn't half as miserable as I felt.

I glanced at Edward out of the corner of my eye. I most definitely had my share of secrets, but I could not help but feel that Edward was keeping something from me as well. There was a strain in our relationship that I could hardly blame completely on myself. There were times Edward would begin to say something and then cut off, brooding in silence for hours at a time. He was constantly lost in thought and he seemed…changed. Something about his trip to Denali had changed him, and I could not think what it could be.

The bell rung and I quickly gathered my things as Edward waited, his eyes fixed out the window behind me. I pitched my bag over my shoulder and noted that his eyes were glassy and distant, clearly lost in thoughts I had no perception of.

"Let's go."

My sharp, brief words cut him out of his reverie and he nodded distractedly, leading the way out the classroom door. I followed slowly as he led the way to his car.

We drove in silence and I gazed out the window, at a loss of anything to say. We stopped at a red light and Edward spoke for the first time.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

I looked at him. "No. Why don't we go to your house?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Sure."

Edward drove on, tensed and shifty, going much slower than his usual heart stopping pace. Something told me he was dawdling for a reason. His lip twitched, as if he was about to speak and then had decided not to. His brow furrowed.

"Are you okay?" I asked tentatively.

Edward seemed to snap out of his train of thought and looked at me as if he had only realized I was there. "Yeah, why?"

I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes. I broke his gaze and stared moodily out the windshield. "I don't know, you seem…stressed. Or tense."

"I'm not. I'm fine."

I shifted in my seat to turn away from Edward because, quite frankly there was something he wanted to say and he wasn't saying it, and these frequent bouts of surliness were wearing on me. The drive continued in silence until we pulled into the Cullen driveway. I threw the door open and tailed Edward to the door, hoping madly that the others were there and that it wouldn't just be the two of us.

We walked in to a full house and I breathed in relief. The others greeted us collectively and I scanned the room quickly for any sign of Carlisle. It was a weekday. He was working. I knew that, but my heart fell nevertheless. I scanned the room once more in false hope and my frantic eyes settled on Alice, who seemed to be looking straight at me. I smiled nervously and she flitted over to the two of us.

She hugged me briefly before whispering something to Edward so fast and low that I could not comprehend. Edward did not say anything in reply to her but merely looked at her defiantly and coldly. He turned his head and caught my eyes, before reaching for my hand.

"Let's go upstairs, Bella."

With a cold parting look at Alice, he led me up the stairs and straight into his room. I did not speak until the door was closed, though I knew the vampires downstairs would hear us either way.

"What was that about?" I asked nonchalantly, grazing my fingertips along the spines of his books as he looked angrily out the glass wall.

"Nothing. Alice…she just meddles. Makes things more complicated than they should be."

"How so?" Edward's shoulders stayed tensed but the reflection of his face in the glass was indifferent and collected.

"It doesn't matter. It's over now. What's done is done."

I did not understand what he meant, but I did not pry either, because I knew that there was nothing more Edward would tell me. He turned around and a ray of rare sun filtered through the clouds and into the room from the window, throwing the bedroom into more spectacular definition. I looked at my shoes and awkwardly avoided Edward's eyes. I heard him sigh.

"What happened to us?"

I clenched my eyes shut. "What do you mean?"

"Bella," I opened my eyes. Edward was standing right beside me, resting a hand on the side my face. I hadn't heard him walk over to me and flinched at the cool contact. "You know perfectly well what I mean. Something's…different."

He searched my face and I attempted not to blush under the proximity of our closeness. "What is?"

Edward contemplated something for a moment, and then closed in eyes in defeat and stepped away from me. "I don't know, Bella. It's you…it's me."

He was on the other side of the room now, standing poised by the door. "I'll be back in a minute. Alice's thoughts are driving me insane." I nodded absently and Edward slowly walked out the door, shutting it behind him. I thought I heard him sigh again.

I turned back to face the room. The sunlight bathed it in a warm hue and the cds and books gave the room an antique atmosphere. It was beautiful. Papers littered every shelf and I moved about the room, absorbing Edward's possessions from a time when things were simpler. Soft music danced out of the radio and I felt at ease for once in a long time.

My eyes fell onto the duffel bag I had seen Jasper carry the night they had returned. It was overturned, clearly haven fallen off a shelf and onto the carpet. I walked to it and leaned down to pick up the bag, intending to place it back wherever it belonged, but as I clutched the fabric of the duffel, a long piece of red fabric fell out of the open bag and onto the floor. It flitted down onto the carpet and I stared at it in wonderment.

It had gracefully strewn itself onto the carpet in a mangled mess and I got on my knees beside it, reaching out to touch the luxurious fabric. Where had this odd blood red fabric come into Edward's possession? I traced my fingers over it, the silky velvet seemed oddly familiar and the vivid color sparked a notion in my memories. Where had this come from?

I stared at it with wide eyes and continued to trace my fingers over each crease, bedazzled by the cloth. Why did it feel and look so familiar? Had I seen this cloth once before?

I closed my eyes in thought and contemplation, and as if my memory had been waiting for the chance, the answer came floating to the front of my mind in a blur.

A sea of red…a sea of people. I was panting, running the fastest I could, pushing through the sea of red, anxiously glancing at the clock tower. One minute. I glimpsed frantically at the base of the tower and saw a shirtless, pale figure in the shadows, preparing to glide into the sunlight. I yelled for him to wait, to stop because death would overtake him should he set foot into the light. The red was blinding, cloaks and cloaks and fabric of blood red. I ran to him, and pummeled against his hard chest into his waiting arms. I was alive, I told him, we were okay.

Two men in black cloaks had appeared behind us. They gazed at us scornfully and told us to come with them. They handed Edward a red cloak to wear. A blood red cloak made of luxurious fabric…

My eyes snapped open and I dropped the cloak as if it had burned me. Volterra. I had seen the fabric in an endless sea at Volterra. The Volturi guards had given Edward a red cloak and we had walked into the lair of Aro, Caius and Marcus, of the Volturi.

I watched the fabric fall from my hands onto the floor again in a panic. How did it get here? Why was it in this duffel bag, hastily stuffed out of sight? My heart thumped loudly in the empty room. Footsteps were climbing the stairs, I could hear them, and it was not one set of feet but two. I was frozen and anxiously running over explanations in my head. The fabric had fallen at my feet and now it looked like a pool of blood, extending from my toes and stretching over the carpet.

The door opened, and the figure froze. I heard a small gasp escape Alice's lips and Edward froze with his fixed on the cloak.

"Where did you find that?" He snapped, before angrily coming up beside me.

"It was in that bag. On the floor," I replied mechanically.

He picked it up and rolled it into a ball, hastily pulling it out of my view. I gazed at him confused.

"Where did that come from?"

Edward turned his back to me. He was breathing hard, looking at Alice who watched him coldly. She nodded her head minutely, as if to say 'deal with it'. I heard him growl at her unhelpfulness before replying evenly, "I don't know."

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief and marched in front of him, pulling the fabric out of his hands and piercing him with my stare.

"You don't know? Tell me where this came from, Edward. And explain why it was in the bag you brought back with you."

His eyes narrowed slightly as he attempted to yank the cloak out my fingers, ripping it slightly in his haste. "Denali. I brought it back from Denali. It belonged to Eleazar, he gave it to me. Simple as that. It's a souvenir, a gift."

He was spitting the words at me in anger, as though I had asked much more from him than a simple explanation. Edward's shoulders were rigid and his fingers crushed the cloth between his hands nervously. The word 'Denali' fell out of his mouth and I was shocked to hear the practiced tone he recited it with. He was lying, of that much I was sure.

"Denali? That's odd, for some reason I remember running through an ocean of this fabric when I ran to save your life. It was in Italy. I remember the day clearly Edward, and I remember this cloak. You wore one exactly like this, when we walked to our demise. To the Volturi."

He flinched at my last word and his golden eyes were round with worry that I had extracted such an explanation. Edward's eyes moved frantically over my face and he inched away from the cloth in my hands as though it would burn him at the slightest touch. The reflection of the red fabric was clear in his eyes. He glanced over his shoulder to Alice, who was rigid and fuming in the doorway. Edward turned his head slowly to look at me again.

My breathing had picked up and my heart raced against my ribs. Something told me I had guessed right. This cloth was from Volterra. I had a sudden urge to burn it.

Alice glided over to the two of us. Edward avoided my eyes and stared blankly in mid-air, at a loss for words. I turned my frenzied eyes to Alice, who placed a small hand on Edward's shoulder and pushed him behind her in a protective gesture, as if I would hurt him.

"Bella," She said soothingly, "Give me the cloak."

She reached her other hand out for the cloth, but I held it against me forcefully. "Not until I get some answers. Tell me where this came from."

She dropped her hand and sighed. Her usually hospitable eyes burned me as if I was some sort of enemy. The tension burned densely between us.

"We had to go. I needed to know. I had to choose."

Edward had spoken softly from behind his sister. He looked at me imploringly.

"What do you mean?" I spoke fast and low, afraid for what answer I would receive.

Alice quieted Edward with a look and turned back to me. She gazed at the cloth in my shaking hands and bit her lip thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" I asked again forcefully.

She looked up and a small breath escaped between her lips. "We weren't in Denali, Bella."

Though I had already figured this, it came as a shock no doubt. Alice wandered to the other side of the room, muttering to herself and putting distance between the three of us. Edward stepped closer to me and I inched back slightly. I was afraid to let him get close, afraid of the truth. The cloth finally broke free of my grasp and fell to the floor. Edward caught it swiftly by his fingertips and draped the fabric over his arm, staring at it.

"Where were you?" I asked in a small voice. I didn't want to know, the truth would hurt, I was sure of it. But I had to know. I needed the closure.

Edward closed his eyes shut and forced the words out between his teeth.

"We were in Italy…with the Volturi."

Something inside of me cracked and shattered. They couldn't have…they wouldn't. But the painful reality of the truth was plastered on Edward's apprehensive face and Alice's clenched jaw. The Volturi. Italy. Volterra. They all formed one awful picture in my mind. Death. I shuddered uncontrollably and as Edward's arm moved to comfort me, I visibly stepped back from him hugging my arms around myself.

"Wh-why?" I asked shakily.

Edward's arm shook in repressed emotion as he pulled it back to his side. His jaw shook as he answered.

"They…gave me an offer. They wanted me to join them."

My chest panged with pain and breathing was becoming more and more difficult. Edward had gone to Italy to possibly join the Volturi and hadn't told me any of it. There was a new companion for the emptiness I felt; betrayal.

"You…lied to me."

His brow creased. "Bella-"

"You lied. You went to the V-Volturi and didn't tell me."

Edward grabbed his hair and pulled. He was frantic, rambling anything to get me to listen.

"I didn't…they…I shouldn't…they wanted Alice too!"

He pointed at Alice behind him, who snapped her head up to meet my gaze with wide eyes. I felt utterly sick and the room swayed before my eyes. Edward was placing his hands on my shoulders bracing me.

"Please, Bella. Please."

"No." I jumped out of his grasp. "You lied. Both of you. I can't even…"

I threw my disbelieving gaze at Alice. She stared back defiantly and surprisingly her shocked expression faded into one of anger. Alice had never looked at me with such contempt. I backed up again, now fully focusing on Alice. Edward turned to follow my gaze and watched Alice as well. Her mouth was curled back in fury and her eyes blazed angrily.

"How can you speak of dishonesty?" She spoke low and menacingly. Her tone induced a shiver up my spine.

"How can you call us liars, when we only hid you from the truth to protect you? You, who have dealt in nothing but lies since the moment we left?"

I didn't know what she was talking about. Her small stature was poised in rage, her spine tense and her arms rigid. Her fingers twitched, a trickle of anger slowly making itself known.

"You know exactly what I mean, Bella. How could you not?"

Suddenly, it hit me. No…she couldn't know, she couldn't. Alice registered my comprehension.

"Ah, yes. You see now, Bella. You see I what I know, what I've known since the beginning."

I was struggling for any words to deter her. Anything to keep her from uttering the truth. It was silent throughout the whole house. They were listening.

"But-"

"What?" She said angrily, raising her softly menacing voice a little higher. "How could I possibly know? How could I see that?"

She chuckled humorlessly. "I've seen it, Bella. I've seen everything."

No. No. No.

Alice sneered at me. "I'd hoped you would come to your senses. Stop and just think for one damn second who you would be hurting. But no. The two of you were too damn selfish."

She hissed and Edward looked between us frantically. "What? What are you talking about?"

Alice faced him and a cruel smile formed on her lips.

"Tell him, Bella. Tell everyone. Tell them your secret. Go on."

I couldn't move, I couldn't speak.

Alice scoffed. "Explain, Bella."

I did not speak.

She turned back to me. "Fine. If you're incapable, I'm sure Carlisle will be happy to enlighten us."


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