A/N
Big hugs and kisses to Kassiah for hosting the read along this week. It was amazing. Thanks to everyone who reads this story. We love every review, even though we can't have Edward stuff your box as frequently (he's been very busy studying).
Chapter 12
Re: Commencement and Cluster-fucks
From: Bella Swan
To: Edward Masen
Re: Long Weeks Suck
Dear Edward,
I am taking a break from the incessant studying to send you an email. I have missed talking to you. Honestly, I've just missed you. Period. I was thinking about how important this week is for you and I wish that there was some way that I could be there when you graduate from medical school. Really, I was thinking that I wish Alice could be there, too. I know that she is disappointed that she won't be able to be. It really sucks that we have finals on the same day. I just hope that you know that even though I won't be there, I will be thinking of you all day. (When I'm not taking finals.)
Have you really thought about how much your life is going to change in the next few months? I don't know much about residency, but according to what I've learned from watching Grey's Anatomy, interns really have no life outside the hospital. I mean, they are constantly there sleeping in an on-call room. Or sleeping with someone in an on-call room. I know it's just a TV show and that real life will probably be somewhat different, but I think that the idea is the same. You = surgical intern =no life. (Again, unless you're having sex with another intern in between appendectomies.) I know you wouldn't do that, Edward. I was just thinking that maybe when you do have those few moments free and you find yourself not in the mood to sleep, maybe you can call me…and we can do that thing we did the other night.
That is, if you wanted to.
Because, I assure you…I will.
I have been studying a lot. And I've had a ton of reading to do for finals. I haven't even really had any time to spend with Rosalie. Something is definitely up with her and I can't help but wonder what really happened between her and your friend, Emmett. I don't know if he's shared with you…and I will never ask you to divulge any information. She just hasn't been herself. And by herself, I mean the life of the party and socially active. She has turned into this homebody (like me). I don't mind it, except of course when I am trying to study (or do other things) and she wants to be in my room talking. I just want so much for her to be happy like I am now. Oh, and in case you didn't know, Edward. You make me happy. Like ridiculously, over-the-top, feel like listening to bubble-gum pop music happy.
I know that you are extremely busy and stressed right now. I will try to keep this short. I dream about you every night. Also, I'm dreaming a lot more now…especially since I'm getting the full seven hours you suggested. I know you said that eight would be better, but that is nearly impossible. I am trying, though. And you know what? I do feel better. Thank you for being the kind of boyfriend (who happens to be a doctor) that looks out for my best interest.
Adoring you more than the distance that separates us,
Bella
PS
I wore my t-shirt that you sent me. Rosalie said it was gay and Alice said it was sweet, but it doesn't matter what they think.
I know that it's true.
PPS
It fits me perfectly, except it's a little tight in the boob area. I solved that problem by not wearing a bra. It's fine now.
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From: Edward Masen
To: Bella Swan
Re: T-shirt Tease
Dear Bella,
While I'm sorry to hear that you cannot attend my graduation, I know and understand how important your studies are. I hope that reading this email doesn't cause you to be behind in your study schedule (I scheduled time for you in mine). I do wish that you were here, but I realize it is impossible. But rest assured, it won't be long before I can actually touch you, not just visualize your reactions (especially to phone calls – those are especially stimulating).
Talking to you in this new, open manner (sexual in nature) does certain things to me (like make me miss you more and. . .other things). I want to share them with you. I want to do things with you. . .and to you.
Soon, Bella.
I have never watched that TV show you mentioned, but I can assure you that I will not sleep with anyone at the hospital (unless you are visiting, and I think that may be against regulations – let me check). It's true I will be working very hard, but any free time I have - I want it to be with you. I'm pleased that you enjoy emails and texts, because that's probably going to continue once I get to Stanford due to my busy schedule.
I don't dream much at all, but when I do, I dream of you. I'm glad you dream of me, too. It makes me happy that you are sleeping better. I want to make everything better for you.
And you make me happy, too.
Like Beethoven's "Ode to Joy", happy.
Missing you,
Edward
PS I love the visual of you in that t-shirt without the bra. But please save it for my eyes only. Remember what it says. . .
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
BPOV
I hang up the phone and I can't contain the girlie squeal that comes from my mouth. I fall back on the bed and cover my face with a pillow so that Rosalie doesn't hear me. I have been talking to Edward for the last hour and as much as I didn't want to stop talking, I know that he needs to sleep. While it may still be early here, it's well after ten on the east coast and tomorrow is a huge day for him. He's graduating…from medical school…and in less than a month the sweetest, hottest man that happens to be a surgeon (and my boyfriend) will be here.
Close to me.
Suddenly, I feel the need to break out into a Carpenter's song where birds are singing and the sun is shining. Yeah, my mom used to make me listen to their music when I was a kid and helping her in the garage with whatever tie-dyed, pottery, rug hooking, hippie fiasco she was working on. I'm emo for a moment because I remember that Karen Carpenter was pretty fucked up in general. I mean, she was singing all these shiny-happy songs while she was basically starving herself. This also reminds me that I'm hungry and should probably eat a granola bar or something.
I walk out into the tiny little kitchen of our apartment and am surprised to find Rosalie and Alice there at the counter. Rosalie is unpacking what appears to be massive amounts of junk food while Alice is taking out a small bottle of alcohol that I have never seen before.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Well, since finals are over tomorrow," Alice starts. "We thought that we could do a slumber party."
I look to Rose, who is currently putting a handful of M&Ms in her mouth.
"What?" she asks. "I got you Reese's Pieces."
"Really?" I ask excitedly because I love Reese's Pieces almost as much as I love Rose. And I love Rose a lot.
"Oh, I also got you organic tortilla chips and guacamole," she states proudly. "But seriously, Bella. If I have to stand at Whole Foods one more fucking time and listen to some chick describe to me in detail what a mole sauce is and why organic is always better, I will cunt-punch her."
"Feeling violent much, Rose?" Alice asks sweetly making Rosalie laugh again.
"Feeling brave there, pixie?" Rose retorts before turning back to me. "Are you in?"
"Umm…yeah," I say. Because really, what else am I going to do? "I just feel bad. I didn't get anything for the sleepover."
"Well," Alice says. "We were thinking that you could provide us with the entertainment."
"What do you mean?" I ask, giggling. "Like sing for my supper?"
"Trust me," Rose quips. "You would starve if you had to earn your dinner by singing."
"No, Silly," Alice says, walking over to me and wrapping her arm around my waist. "I meant you can provide us with one of the girlie movies from your collection. I hear you like chick-flicks."
"Rose likes them, too."
"I didn't hear about it from Rose," she says with a wink. "He talks about you all the time and now that he knows that we're friends he never shuts up about you. Just the other day he was asking me to tell him if you looked – let me make sure I say this right – satiated."
"He – he asked you that?"
"Yeah…I thought it was weird, too," Alice says.
"Why would he want to know if Bella looked full?" Rosalie interrupts.
Feeling completely mortified and embarrassed, I changed the subject.
"What do we want to watch, ladies?"
"Anything but 'You've Got Mail'," Rose said. "The live version plays every night here in the Starlight room and I'm a little over Tom and Meg."
"Hey, Rose?" I say.
"I know, I know," she responds chuckling. "Bite you."
"Just as long as we're clear."
Fifteen minutes later, I walk from my bedroom in my boxer shorts and my t-shirt from Edward. Rosalie rolls her eyes and Alice beams as they both take in my appearance.
"You're wearing the shirt again? Don't you find it slightly misogynistic that you are wearing something that brands you as a man's piece of property?" Rosalie groans. "Whatever happened to women's liberation or the fucking Ya Ya Sisterhood?"
"Do you even know what the Ya Ya Sisterhood is about?" I ask her.
"Not really," she says. "Why?"
"Well," Alice says, chiming in. "It's about a bunch of women that are friends their whole life and they spend their time smoking and drinking Bloody Marys and carrying on."
"Well, that sounds fantastic!" Rose exclaims. "Let's watch that. Or better yet, let's do that!"
"Do you really think my shirt is misogynistic?" I ask Rose.
"No," Alice says emphatically. "She does not think that. She was just being bitchy. Besides, there isn't sexist bone in Edward's body. I love the shirt and I can't believe he actually sent it to you."
I blush at her words, not because it's shocking that he sent me the shirt, but because there is a lot that would probably surprise Alice about her brother.
"You're changing him."
"I don't want to change him," I tell her truthfully. "I think he's perfect."
"Listen," Rosalie says. "If you guys are going to sit here and talk about Dr. Perfect McDreamy, I am going to eat this entire box of Twinkies by myself and not share with either of you."
"Oh, no you're not!" I say, giggling and trying to take the box from her. "I want one of those."
I open the box and pull out a Twinkie shove the whole thing in my mouth. I am assaulted with the taste of buttery cake and creamy filling. I am so caught up in the yummy goodness, that I don't notice Alice and Rose staring at me wide-eyed and opened-mouthed.
"What?" I ask, licking the remaining cream from my lips.
"Holy shit," Rose says. "No wonder you have a man willing to write you emails from across the fucking country."
"No kidding," Alice agrees, giggling and blushing.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Bella," Rose says. "You just deep throated that Twinkie."
It takes a minute for my sugar-induced euphoria to wear off before I realize what they are talking about, but when it does my entire body flushes with embarrassment and I am mortified.
Before I allow my humiliation to consume me, Alice pulls out the small bottle of liquor that she had before and three shot glasses. I still don't recognize it and I ask her what it is.
"It's Patron."
"Fuck, yes!" Rosalie exclaims.
"I've never had it."
"It's really good tequila," she explains. "You don't need a lot. We're just going to do a couple of shots."
An hour and more than a couple shots later, Rose has gone to bed and Alice and I have made our way into mine. Alice is asleep quickly and even though I'm tired, I can't stop thinking about Edward. Quietly, I slide out of bed, grabbing my phone and I head into the bathroom. I want to hear his voice again, but I know that's impossible. He will definitely be sleeping. I choose to send him an email instead.
Dear Edward,
I cannot tell you how much my life has changed since that crazy night in Miami. I never would have imagined that a trip to the bathroom to "break the seal" would have ever been so fortuitous. Tomorrow you will graduate from medical school and through some karmic credit that I have earned, you will be moving here and will be close to me. But I want you to know that as much as I will adore the physical proximity, you are already close to me, Edward. Closer than anyone in some ways. I wish I could talk to you again before your big day, but even if I couldn't hear your voice, I wanted you to know my thoughts.
Congratulations, baby.
(I hope it's alright that I called you that. I like it when you call me that.)
So much more than Affectionately,
Bella
Sent from my BlackBerry
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EPOV
Just three more days. My college career is nearly over and then I can see my Bella. All of my finals are done and I am just waiting for the graduation ceremony tonight. I wish Alice and Bella could be there, but I understand about their finals ending today.
I walk over to see Emmett to congratulate him since most likely I won't see him tonight. I see that he's packing for our trip to California.
"Hey, Edward. Are you ready for tonight?" he asks as he zips up his garment bag.
"Is that question rhetorical, or do you not think my attire is appropriate? Or is my demeanor inconsistent with that of a doctor?" I ask, because I think I project the image of a graduate.
He shakes his head and mutters, "I should know by now." He continues placing items in his bag. "Did you finish packing for Cali? No, wait, you packed as soon as you got home last week, right?"
"No," I huff. I don't tell him that it was right after I googled the weather for San Francisco. He's entirely too smug.
"Temperature?" he looks at me with a cocked eyebrow.
"Seventy two and clear," I say, begrudgingly. Emmett is too smart. But that is why we can remain friends. Most people cannot handle my personality or lack thereof.
He selects some weather appropriate items and puts them in his bag. "Where's my itinerary? I expected it on Monday."
"I need to speak to Bella, first," I admit. "Whatever she wants to do."
Emmett freezes and stares, "Did you just say 'whatever?' The man who makes corrections to the New England Journal of Medicine for fun? Unbelievable."
"What's so unbelievable? That I want to see my girlfriend?" I stifle a laugh.
"Just you laughing and saying 'whatever' and shit. Next you're going to tell me to chillax or something," Emmett shakes his head and chuckles. "It's not a bad thing, Edward. I'm really happy for you. I'm actually. . . well, jealous," he admits. "You have everything going for you. Your family, your career, Ni- I mean, Bella. . . I'm man enough to admit that I'm ready for that type of stability. C'mon, dude, how long can I be campus lothario? Especially without a campus?" Emmett looks at me with a sadness, a vulnerability I have never seen. My friend looks lonely.
Maybe he can meet a nice girl in California. I know what I want is waiting for me there. I congratulate him on his degree and walk back to my apartment. My parents arrive shortly. I haven't seen them in months, so I am eager to greet them. We barely exchange pleasantries, and my mother is almost in tears and we haven't even left for the ceremony.
"Edward! Oh sweetheart, you look wonderful. Doesn't he look all grown up and handsome in his suit, Carlisle? My little man is a doctor, now like his father." My mother smoothes my collar, and turns away so I don't see the tears. I've seen emotion from my mother before, but this is different.
She's letting go.
I hug her and give her a swift kiss. I also make a note to research "empty nest syndrome" and send my mother the file.
My father claps me on the back and we drive to the ceremony together. We discuss the move, Bella – the monumental changes in my life. My mom may burst with happiness when she hears me speak about Bella. They may have harbored an ill-conceived notion that I was asexual in my adolescent years. Whereas I'm not sharing specific details of my sex-life, I think that they are aware of my hetero status.
We arrive at the campus early, which allows my parents to find good seats. I find my place, and in a short while the ceremony begins. It is long and tedious and just like all of my other graduations. Except that I will not attend school again.
The Chancellor makes a speech, and then announces the keynote speaker as I get a buzzing in my pocket. Who would be texting me right now?
"Hey, big brother. I'm really proud of you and so happy that you're moving out west. Also, I totally slept with Bella last night and I might have felt her ass in my sleep. Wanna know how it felt? –A"
Alice. Of course she feels the need to mention Bella. And her ass. I mean Bella's ass, of course, not Alice's. That would be wrong.
"Although that comment is borderline inappropriate, I thank you for the sentiments (about me, not the ass fondling)."
"Now that you're going to be a surgeon, have you reconsidered giving me fake boobs? I'm pretty sure that I could handle at least a C-cup. I'm not that petite. –A"
"You know very well I am not going to do plastics, Alice. And even if I did, I would never go near your breasts (the thought makes me shudder). PS. You are aware that I'm in the middle of my graduation ceremony?"
"Calm down, big brother. BTW, I am totes dating my professor! Don't tell Mom and Dad! *pinkie swear* Oh, one more thing. He's totes hot, but don't stare at his hair. He's really sensitive about it. That's all. -A"
What? My baby sister is doing what? I respond after checking on some information.
"Alice. I've emailed you Berkeley's sexual harassment policy. I won't tell mom and dad but I'm sending an email to our lawyer. Do not delete any messages from this so-called professor. Make copies of all correspondence. Also, I know where you can get a tiny recording device. I can send it Fed-Ex."
"Christ, Edward! We are not going to perform a "sting operation" on my boyfriend. There are other things I'd rather perform on him. -A"
God, I hope she is not referring to what I think she is.
"Alice, we will discuss this at length. And please tell me you are speaking of something non-sexual. I don't want to be ill at my graduation."
"Dr. Masen, I miss you and wish that I could be there for your big day. I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I'm really proud of you. And I'm happy you're my BF. xo –B"
My Bella is texting me. Perfect. It can take my mind from the horror that is Alice's love life. I send her a message.
"Bella, you are with me in my heart. And you never sound trite. PS. I'm happy you are my girlfriend. (BF means boyfriend, right?)"
I send another message to Alice.
"And the term 'boyfriend' is being used loosely I gather? How old is this letch?"
"If I want to engage in a consensual relationship with a fuckhot man who happens to have Muppet-hair, that is my choice. Oh...he's totes young. He's only 27."
Why do I need a translator for my sister? I speak four languages. Unfortunately, none of them are Alice compatible.
"Muppet hair? Are you dating a puppeteer? What do you mean by totes? Is someone carrying something? PLEASE explain this insanity!"
"OMG! We have been texting so long, you must be already finished with you residency. LOL. -A"
"My residency will last for four years. The ceremony is long, though. The keynote speaker is some actor going on and on about some movie he did about the Titanic. It can't have been historically accurate, it wasn't on the History Channel."
"Are you freaking kidding me? If you are telling me that Leo is speaking at your graduation, I am going to kill myself! -A"
She really has a flair for the dramatic. Ooh, It's Bella, again.
"E, I can't wait until we are together again. I'm counting down the days. While I adore the fact that I am in your heart, I really want to be in your arms. xo –B"
I answer Bella immediately, while Alice is rambling about someone named Leo and apparently involved in an illicit affair.
"Trust me when I say that's all I think about (especially now that I'm not academically occupied). –Edward
I especially don't want to think about my baby sister and her – shudder – boyfriend.
"Dude, what row r u in? wave or someshit"
Now Emmett is texting me. Ugh. I distinctly remember my email requesting that he not use 'text speak'. I glance around for Emmett. I can't see him, but I text him my location.
"Fuck, Edward. I'm not Army recon. I left my portable GPS at home. Just fucking count the rows of seats. U don't need to get all "Good Will Hunting" on me and send me fucking equations on how to find U."
Ugh. I thought Alice was prone to over-exaggeration. Another text pops up from Bella.
"E, I meant other things besides being in your arms. I also think about you being in your bed or in mine. . .or you being inside me again. All my thoughts are of you. Xo, -B"
Jesus. Like I need to be rock hard at my graduation. What if my grandmother sees a photo of me? Poor Nana Cullen. Her last lab results weren't very promising.
"Edward, your mother wants to know if you want French or Italian for dinner. Text me back- Dad"
Seriously, does everyone not realize that I'm at my graduation!
"Edward, take a picture of Leo and send it to me. Jazz won't mind. –A"
"Edward, My mom wants to take a picture of us after the ceremony. Meet me by the front steps of the library. See, clear directions that don't involve the square root of Pi or global positioning – Em"
"Son? Your mother wants to know if she needs to change the reservations-Dad"
I think it's almost time for the Chancellor to announce my name. He's almost done with the Ls. I try to quickly respond to all of the texts while listening for my name.
"Alice, would you give up your highly inappropriate affair with your professor if I got this Di Caprio fellow's number?"
"I prefer French tonight."
"Baby, if we were in my bed, what would you do to me?"
"Fuck off. 3.14 times."
Then it's my turn.
"Edward. Anthony. Masen."
I walk up to receive my diploma. I shake the requisite hands, smile, take photos, and I'm a doctor. Finally. Hippocrates would be proud that I fulfilled my pact.
Then, buzz, buzz, buzz in my pocket. I check my phone when I return to my seat.
"Edward, I don't know what you mean by that, but I think it's awesome that you're using the word fuck now. -A"
Wait. I sent the wrong text.
"E, Umm, okay. I'm not sure what that meant, but I hope you were talking about speaking to me in French, or possible French kissing. Either would be hot. xo – B"
Well, that wasn't bad. She got somewhat excited by my faux pas.
"You amateur. Make sure you pay attention before you sext your girlfriend. What if your mother got that? And turn that shit up a notch, boring motherfucker. -Em"
But that means. . .
"Edward. What on Earth is this about Alice and an affair with her professor?- Dad"
A/N:
To get an exclusive outtake of LiMB for FGBEclipse, contact the awesome team leader AllyinPerth on Twitter or her alter ego ChampagneAnyone on FF.
The amazing Justduckie designed a "I Belong to Edward" t-shirt that is for sale. Proceeds benefit FGB. Find it on Zazzle.