"I thought I was done with this crappy show! They got a new cast right? Use them for entertainment, not me! The first stupid question is-

'Dear Duncan, did you ever have a girl problem?'

Yeah. And her name is Courtney.

'How old where you when you first went to juvie? Were you scared?'

Heh, no. I knew exactly what I was getting into. And I was ten.

'Courtney was a **ing **, why did you even stay with her for so long?'

She was so hot, I couldn't resist. She kept pulling me in every time I tried to get away.

'Who was your least favorite contestant in each season?'

First season, I would have to say the Wonder Twins. I know that's two contestants, but they really got on my nerves. Second season, Justin. Pretty boy was okay when he didn't say anything, but trying to be a bad guy, and a sucky one at that? I don't think so. Third season, Alejandro. He's like a guy Heather, and one of them is too much. Plus, he laughs like a girl, and you can never get used to that.

'Who was your most favorite?'

First season, Courtney, for obvious reasons. Second season, Courtney or Gwen. Third season, Gwen.

'Do you still hate Beth after TDA?'

I don't hate her. She's annoying, true, but it's hard to hate a nice person. Even I can't do that.

'Duncan, in all due respect, what is the matter with you?! You had a perfect relationship with Courtney and you ruined it for that awful ** Gwen! Why would you do that, and don't give me no Courtney was so bossy or she was pushing me away. I want a real answer.'

I knew this question was going to come up, and it's exactly why I don't want to be here! I don't want to have to deal with this crap! But since Chris is forcing me to answer all of your retarted questions, I have to. I don't know why I kissed Gwen. I guess joining the game again got my hormones crazed, so I figured, why have one hot girl, when I can have two? I realize my mistake now, like that helps. Note to self- don't cheat on people.

'What makes you think Gwen is better than Courtney?'

Really, I like them as equals. Well, at least Gwen doesn't kick me in the balls. Yet.

'There were multiple potential sightings of you depicted on the season 3 aftermath show. Which ones were actually real?'

Like I'm going to admit that I was caught on tape.

'You knew what Courtney was like from all the time you spent dating her. What made you think kissing Gwen BEFORE an upfront break-up with Courtney was worth all the headaches that resulted from the affair?'

Ugh, if all of these questions are going to be the same, I'm leaving. I wasn't thinking, okay? That was my first problem.

'One fan of the show brought up the idea that your fear of Celine Dion music store standees first developed when you were a little kid, who got locked in a dark closet full of them while a damaged radio played a REALLY distorted version of one of her major hit songs. Is that anything like what really happened?'

Celine Dion reminds me of my mother. I do not like my mother.

'Did Dawn ever try approaching you about your 'personal issues'?'

Yeah, and I'll tell you one thing- she is creepy as hell! I didn't listen to any bull she tried to tell me.

'Multiple theories came up about what got you sent to Juvenile Hall. One marked it as accidentally setting a public park on fire; another came up with something as elaborate as burning a school to kill some schmucks who kept framing him and others for trouble they didn't start. What really happened?'

If I didn't reveal what I went to juvie for earlier, on international television, what makes you think I'll do it now? I will say that it had to do with fire though, and it was definitely not an accident.

'Is having a very short lower body a thing that runs in your family? Or is that just yours?'

It's genetic. I can add that to my list of 'What's Wrong With My Family.'

'What are your opinions of the girls from 'Revenge of the Island'?'

I've already talked about Dawn. Creepy as hell. Staci is just annoying. I don't know why she was picked for the show, maybe just as a filler. Jo is just another Eva, but weirder. Anne Maria... well, she's got a smokin' body, so you'd think she was okay, but once you hear her actually talking, or get a whiff of her hairspray, it changes everything. Dakota, Dakotazoid, whatever, I'm surprised she didn't die. Or at least sue Chris for everything he's got, if Courtney hasn't done that yet. Zoey is probably my favorite out of all of them, because she's the most bearable. Okay, I would probably hit on her if she wasn't dating MPD dude.

'When you told people not to reveal that you have a soft side, did you remember that you're on TV?'

It's hard not forget you're on TV when there's cameras everywhere. I knew that eventually everyone would figure out when they watched the episodes, but my fellow competitors couldn't watch the episodes, could they? As long as I kept them fooled, they wouldn't know.

'Does everyone still consider you a tough guy even though you've got your butt kicked by Harold and Cody in one punch?'

Both of those times, I was caught off guard. And have you ever been punched by either of them? I guess button-mashing, num-yos, and getting rejected makes your arms stronger.

'Do you have any siblings?'

Yeah, but I don't care enough remember details about them.

'Do you still have the tattoo that matches Courtney's?'

I'm pretty sure she got that removed after we broke up.

'I know where your old dog Petee is.'

What the hell? That's not even a question, that's just creepy. Can someone please go through the questions beforehand, so crap like this doesn't show up?

'Who is the best kisser: Courtney, Gwen, Heather, or Owen? (Yeah I saw the photos)'

What? Again, creepy and fake. Only Izzy would be crazy enough to kiss that tub of lard. As for Heather, that was the worst kiss I've ever had. Even worse than when I was cut by this girl's tongue piercing and had to go to the emergency room. As for Gwen and Courtney, I'm pretty sure they would both kick my ass if I answered that.

'How do you feel about the Alejandro and Duncan pairing?'

I didn't know that was a thing, but then again, it probably is, since there's a Heather and Leshawna pairing.

'Would you rather have a baby with Gwen or Courtney?'

Gwen, since I'm currently dating her. Why on earth would I say Courtney?

'Is it true you and Courtney have a baby?'

No. Just, no.

'Have you and Courtney ever gone all the way?'

Why would I tell you about my sex life? That's only for me to know.

'If you were challenged by a wrestler, would you accept?'

Hell yes! Maybe he can teach me some moves to use on Courtney next time.

'Duncan, do you have no shame in what you did to Courtney? I mean cheating on her like you did? SO not cool! If you think you're still the king of cool, think again! I still like Gwen, though I am currently questioning her taste in guys like you, but whatever. But seriously; Harold EASILY beats you in the cool department! Sorry if this turned into more of statements insulting you, but honestly, what you did was so wrong I don't think I'll ever like you
again. When do you think you'll grow a pair and actually apologize? Oh let me guess. NEVER!'

Okay, I'm done here.

I felt like adding that last one in because I never realized how seriously people took this matter. I had to take out a lot of questions because things got repetitive. So many 'why did you cheat on Courtney' and 'why didn't you break up with Courtney before kissing Gwen' type stuff. Anyway, send in PMs of questions that aren't like the two I just mentioned!