dove in love: I'm glad you liked the chapter. I always have a soft spot for baby stories. Oh and Casey is going to find out verrrrryyyy soon. :)

Alex's POV

Kylie is a month old now and we're finally able to bring her home with us. Even though she is far from crawling, Casey and I spent hours baby-proofing the room. We also had to make sure everything else was set up. She has a crib, blankets, a drawer full of clothes, a teddy bear for her to cuddle up to, and anything else a little baby might need.

Casey and I filled out the information for Kylie's birth certificate today. Kylie Alexandra Novak: born 12:05 a.m. on October 29, 2007. Mother: Alexandra Vivian Novak: Age 19. I love everything about that, except for the 'age 19.' Even though Casey isn't mentioned on Kylie's birth certificate, she is still thrilled that we both have her last name. When we get back to California, we plan on looking into second-parent adoption so Casey could legally be Kylie's mom. It's all so exciting. I can't wait to show her off to everyone. This little bundle of joy actually belongs to Casey and me.

To our disappointment, Kylie sleeps most of the time. Although she looks so cute in her crib, I wish she were awake so we could play with her. April and Casey's dad Chris came into our room a few minutes ago to see the baby. Chris was almost teary-eyed when he saw that his granddaughter was sleeping in the crib he had built for his daughter almost 20 years ago. He and April gave me a hug and then he playfully slugged Casey in the arm and told her she was a father now.

When Chris and April are about to head out, I hear the front door open and Charlotte shout out "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy is home! And Chrissy!"

Fuck.

"Well, I might as well say hi to her," Chris says to us. Chrissy is his boss so this whole situation must be awkward as hell for him.

"Where is my granddaughter?" Charlene asks excitedly, not paying attention to anyone else in the room.

Her loud tone of voice wakes up Kylie and she immediately starts to cry.

"Thanks a lot, Charlene," Casey says to her. "You could have just picked her up instead of running your damn mouth."

"Chris, I think we should get going now," April says to Casey's dad.

"You're right," he says. "Chrissy, I'll see you tomorrow. Excuse us."

Once Chris and April leave, I start to look over Chrissy and Charlene. Chrissy is a smooth talker and slightly arrogant, which is how she was able to get ahead at the brokerage firm her and Chris work at. Everyone has to answer to her and to their disappointment, she makes more money for doing a lot less than they do. She has a great sense of style. Her hair is neatly pulled back in a ponytail and she is wearing a black pencil skirt with a baby blue long-sleeve button-up shirt. Her shoes are heels, but not too high. Everything about this woman commands respect. She is so poised and sophisticated. Charlene, on the other hand, is merely her trophy girlfriend. Chrissy likes her in revealing dresses or tight jeans with low-cut shirts, anything to say to the guys at work, "This is what I have and you don't." The power dyke and the former NFL cheerleader. Maybe they were a cute couple when they were teenagers, but I just don't see it now. This isn't going to work. I just know it.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Chrissy decides to break the ice. "Char, I'm going to head home now. Are you coming with me?"

Charlotte looks at her mom with pleading eyes. "Mommy, please don't go. I never see you anymore."

Chrissy starts to smile after hearing that. "Your mommy is going to stay here with you tonight," Chrissy says to Charlotte. "And tomorrow, we're taking you and your little friend Shianne to Chuck E. Cheese's. How's that sound?"

"Yay!" Charlotte says.

Charlene walks over to her girlfriend and gives her a hug. "You're so sweet," she tells her.

Chrissy gives her a half-smile. "No, I'm not. What makes you think I don't have a hidden agenda?"

"Meaning…?"

"Meaning, this Friday and Saturday, you're mine. I booked us a weekend getaway at a spa. It'll be so relaxing. Plus, at night it will just be you and me in our hotel suite with a bottle of champagne and that lacy pink lingerie I bought for you yesterday."

The two of them kiss right in front of us. It's nothing like the shock-value kiss she shared with Allegra. This is real and passionate like the way I kiss Casey.

"Kissing is gross!" Charlotte says. "I'm never going to do that. Scott from my class tried to kiss me on the jungle gym and I punched him in the arm."

Casey high-fives her sister. "That's my girl. Don't let anyone touch you in any way you don't want to be touched."

Sometimes that's easier said than done.

After Chrissy leaves and Charlotte goes to her room to play Barbies, Charlene comes back to our room to hold her granddaughter.

"She's so beautiful. What's the final verdict on her name?"

"Kylie Alexandra," I tell her proudly. "Casey chose her middle name. She wanted her to be named after me."

"Just like Chris wanted Casey's middle name to be Charlene. He said she would be named after the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on."

"Oh, so does that mean he's going to change my middle name to April?" Casey asks as she gives her mom a smug look.

"Casey, what's your problem?"

"You are, you hypocritical bitch."

"What are you talking about?"

"I read your diary."

Charlene is speechless.

"Yeah, that diary," Casey says. "You knew exactly what I was going through and yet you tormented me and hit me."

Charlene's voice becomes stern and I can see the rage in her eyes that I saw last winter. "Casey, you're lucky all I did was slap you. If you only knew what my mom did to me when she found out I was with Chrissy."

"That's still no excuse! You should have been better than your mom just like I'm going to be a better mom than you!"

"What happened?" I ask to ease the tension.

I can see a tear roll down her cheek. "I was 15 when it happened. I was madly in love with Chrissy. We had lost our virginity to each other a few months earlier and it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my whole life. After that, we couldn't get enough of each other, which was our downfall. One day after school, we were so eager to be with each other that we forgot to lock my bedroom door and my mom walked in on us kissing. Just kissing. I don't even want to know what she would have done if she walked in on us making love. She sent Chrissy home and said that she had to talk to me about what just happened. Well, instead of talking, she hit me in the mouth as hard as she possibly could and busted my lip. Even though I was already bleeding from my lip, she grabbed one of my belts and started beating me with it until my whole body was numb. She didn't offer me an explanation and every time I'd ask, she'd hit me even more. Nobody stopped her even though they knew what she was doing to me, including my own father. I was in such bad shape that I had to miss school for two weeks until my bruises and gashes all healed. Those two weeks at home were hell. She kept an eye on me at all times. She even went through my stuff. I started keeping a second diary after my relationship with Chrissy became sexual and that's the one that she found. She made me burn it along with every love letter Chrissy had ever written me and every picture we had taken together. She said if she ever caught me with another girl, she'd beat me all over again. That's when the brainwashing started. All this talk about going to Hell and how it's a deprived lifestyle and it's disgusting and lesbian sex isn't real sex. After awhile, I started to believe it and what she was saying stuck with me. I wanted to try my hardest to be what I thought was normal and it was working until I caught the two of you. That's when my internalized homophobia went into overdrive. It wasn't that I thought what you were doing was disgusting; it was more along the lines of me being angry that you two had what I couldn't have. And seeing how you ended up defying me and getting back together made me realize that I should have done the same with Chrissy all those years ago. I know you don't approve of it, but I'm in love with Chrissy and she's in love with me, too. I still love your father, but not in the same way. We stopped having sex a few months ago because I just couldn't get myself to do it anymore. I told him that I kept having fantasies about being with a woman and even though it hurt him to know that, he ended up finding April and I know he's happy with her. Allegra was actually the first person other than Chrissy that I mentioned any of this to. I wanted to know if I could still be sexual with a woman before I tried anything with Chrissy and, in her own way, she helped me out with that. I know it seems wrong that I had sex with my son's best friend, but she's 22 and a grown woman now. It was something we both wanted and by doing that I realized I'd be able to have a healthy sexual relationship with Chrissy."

At this point, I honestly don't know if I should side with Charlene or my wife. She endured way more abuse than Casey did, but does that really justify what she did to Casey last December?

"I should probably go help Cassidy with her new routine," Charlene tells us before leaving. "Oh, and Alex, there's something for you on the kitchen table. It's from New York. There's no name or anything on it though."

There doesn't need to be a name. I know exactly who it's from.

I grab the letter from the table and quickly take it back to the room so Casey and I can read it together.

Dear Alex,

It's taken me weeks to get the courage to write this to you and even if you receive it there's no guarantee you'll actually read it. I got this address from something Casey had mailed to you last year and I'm going out on a limb and assuming you're staying with her and her family now that the holidays are approaching. I miss you and your sister more than words can say. Over the past few months, I've been looking at pictures of the two of you when you were little and it made me realize how quickly the time has gone by. You're not little girls anymore; you're grown women, and I never took the time to really get to know either of you.

I blame myself for what happened to you and Megan. I should have been there to protect the two of you. I know this doesn't make things right, but Mike and I are divorced now. I couldn't stand to look at him anymore after knowing what he did to my two best girls.

I'm trying my hardest, Alex, and I hope you'll be able to forgive me. I know you're almost 20, but I feel it's never too late for us to start having a mother/daughter relationship. I want to know everything you've been up to lately. Last time we talked, you told me you and Casey just got engaged. How is that going? Have you gotten married yet?

I hope to hear from you soon, my little honeybee.

Love Always,

Mom

Her little honeybee? She hasn't called me that since I was 5-years-old. I have the sudden urge to be close to my daughter so I rush over to Kylie's crib and pick her up.

"I love you, Kylie, and I'm going to be such a good mommy to you. I'm going to always be there for you and I promise I'll never lie to you or keep any secrets from you," I tell my daughter, well aware that Casey can hear me.

Alison was young when she had me and Charlene was even younger when she had Casey. Maybe it's not their fault that they are the way they are. Maybe they're just searching for a part of themselves that they lost by having children so young. Maybe Charlene's way of coping is her promiscuity and Alison's is her alcoholism. What will mine be someday?

No, that's not happening. I'll break the cycle, Kylie. I promise.