Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Revenge
Chapter 13: Hanging On
You know we can get away
Because I'm calling your name
Every day I feel this pain
But you just turn and walk away
Noooo...
I just can't keep hanging on, to you and me
I just don't know what is wrong, with you and me
Touch me and then turn away
And put your hands into the flame
Tell me if you feel this pain
Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain
Singer: Ellie Goulding
Daniel POV
She was just sitting there on the soft sand looking over the waves. I stared at her from the balcony, my mother's favourite spot and desperately wondered what she was thinking about. An hour and a half later, I walked back onto the balcony, feeling the chill of the night wind hit my face. She was still sitting there and it looked as if she hadn't moved at all since I last checked. Something must be wrong I think. I can't really so her face from way up her, just her back but from what I can see she looks so lonely and sad. I can't leave her like that, I have to check if she's alright I try convincing myself. So I take one last swig from my bottle, pop a mint into my mouth, grab my jacket and walk towards her on the beach. As I get nearer and nearer to Emily, I expect her to turn around sensing me with her ninja skills. But even a foot away from her she doesn't seem to notice. I tap her gently on the shoulder and feeling the coldness on her skin I quickly shrug of my jacket and wrap it around her, as she turns around.
She looks up at me and her eyes look so empty and void it saddens me. She pulls off the Jacket I had put around her and hands it to me "I don't need that" she says
"You've been sitting here for over 2 hours, it's getting darker and colder, and when I touched you, you were freezing. You do need it" I say firmly as I once again wrap my jacket around her. This time she doesn't take it off.
She arches her eyebrows as if asking how the hell I knew how long she was sitting there.
"I saw you up on the balcony" I say pointing to the spot I stood at, needing something to do with my hands.
She just nods slowly accepting my answer.
I continue "You looked sad and alone, so I wanted to come see if you were okay"
"Why" she says quietly
I look at her but she looks away, her eyes focusing on the rumbling ocean.
"I care about you" I say gently "Despite it all, I want you to be happy"
"I'm fine "she says decisively
I gently turn her face towards me, so she's looking me right in the eyes and say "No you're not, I can tell something happened that saddened you. I may not have known you as well as I thought I once did. But I know you well enough to know when something's troubling you. You're lying to me."
She glares at me, turning her head to the sea "I don't want your help Daniel I handle things alone so just leave. You're wasting my time" she says bitterly.
"I knew it, there is something" I say gently. "In that case, I'm not leaving your side until I know you are feeling better." I say decisively as I sit down right beside her resisting the urge to hug her."
"You can sit here all you want but I'm not talking to you" she says coldly
1 hour later I'm still sitting here beside her but she hasn't even uttered a single word. She hasn't even looked at me. I had forgotten how stubborn she was, I'd probably turn to ice before she talked. I had already got goosebumps all over my exposed skin, I was starting to shiver, my legs felt numb and my back hurt from sitting in this position so long. But I refused to leave, I wanted to keep my word, I wanted to prove to her, that I really did care. I've noticed Emilys started to get restless too, I think the only reason she hasn't got up and left is because if she did, she'd be admitting defeat. So we both foolishly sit there cold, uncomfortable and restless till she sighs loudly and quietly says "Daniel, your being silly, your freezing and you'll catch a cold, just go home."
I shake my head and say "So you do care about me"
She looks at me and I'm expecting a scowl, but she just shakes her head slightly and I swear I see the tiniest smile break through her composure.
"I'm staying" I say stubbornly
She remains silent and turns her head to the sea but 10 minutes later by some miracle she finally breaks down and whispers "It's my mother"
"Your mother" I say confused "I thought she was dead"
"She is dead but I was foolish I let myself hope she would be alive and when I found out she wasn't I felt that loss all over again" she says sadly.
I must have looked confused because after looking at me, she further explains.
"After my fight with the white haired man, Nolan and I found out some information that my mother hadn't died when I was a child like I thought. My mother, Cara Clarke was mentally ill and after a horrible incident where she tried to drown me when I was little she was put in a facility. My father thought she was still too unstable so he didn't let me see her and told me she had died. Anyway over these past few months, Nolan's been trying hard to locate my mother and find out what happened to her using all his technology and gadgets. He finally found a lead but unfortunately discovered my mum died about 5 months ago…..from suicide."
"I'm so sorry" I say grabbing her hands reassuring.
"She killed herself" she said sadly "She jumped off the bridge and fell into the water, if she had just held on 5 more months I would have been able to meet her, help her. It feels like I've never had a mum, I can't even remember any memories I have of her. All I know about her is the few good stories my dad used to tell me about her. I just wanted to talk to her, I wanted to try build a relationship with her, experience something so many people take for granted. But now after all the bad I've been through in my life, I still couldn't have that one thing. I guess I didn't deserve it but did the universe have to be so cruel? Did it have to mock me by making my mother die only 5 months ago."
"You did deserve to meet your mother, you especially after all the pain you've been caused. And I'm sure your mother would have loved seeing you."
"None of that really matters anymore, she's dead"
I pause not knowing what to say or how to make her feel better, I just want to see that sad look out her eyes and a smile wouldn't hurt.
"You know what?" I say quietly
"What" she answers
"If I had a magical pot and a genie was inside, I'd give my one and only wish to you" I say
She laughs quietly, trying to hide her smile.
"What" I ask, amused by her reaction
"Genies don't come out of pots, they come out of lamps and they usually give 3 wishes" she says
"Oh well, I never knew you were such a genie expect" I say teasingly
"I'm not, I've just watched Aladdin before" she says smiling.
"Aha" I say smiling, finally standing up and pulling her up with me.
While trying to gain feeling in my legs again, I hear her quietly whisper thanks as she hands me back my jacket.
"For the jacket or for making you smile" I ask slowly
"I should go" she reply's not answering my question.
I nod slowly as she starts to walk away "Wait" I shout "You can borrow my jacket until you get home". Walking towards her and putting it over her shoulders I say "I'll walk you back, so you don't have to drop it back off to me later on"
I expect her to resist but she just shakes her head slightly and keeps walking with me beside her. Our short walk to her home is completely silent. When we get in the porch she flicks on the light, and I catch her staring at me. "Daniel, you have goosebumps all over you, you didn't have to give me your jacket, now your freezing" she says frowning.
"Better me then you" I whisper not noticing whether she heard me or not.
She pauses and then quietly says "You can come in, I'll make hot chocolate to warm you up… if you want?"
I smile following her inside and awkwardly sit on the couch, waiting as she makes my favourite hot drink in the kitchen. As I sit on the couch alone I can't help wishing, she'd cuddle up to me like she used to. Minutes later she comes out, holding two big steaming mugs, she places one on a table beside her seat and hands me the other one accidently spilling a bit of the liquid on my jeans.
"Sorry Daniel, I'll get you a towel" she says sounding slightly embarrassed. I've never really seen her embarrassed before and I can't help noting, how cute it looks on her.
I smirk and say "It's okay it's just a little bit and anyway, it wouldn't be the first time."
I see a small smile on her lip as she sits down and takes a sip from her mug. I drink my hot chocolate slowly, knowing when I'm finished I'd have to leave. I rack my brain trying to find the right words to say to quell the silence but I come up with nothing. While she looks down into her mug avoiding my eyes the whole time, I look at her, admiring the women who stole my heart and just as swiftly crushed it. When I'm finished I get up and take my mug as well as hers into the kitchen and quickly wash it up. When I walk back into the living room I see Emily standing up and holding my jacket out towards me. Her actions couldn't be clearer she wants me to leave. But I can't accept that, not yet, I still feel unsatisfied. She called me a coward so I'm going to prove to her I'm not. I'm not going to give up on her so easy, it may be wrong but it feels right so I move closer towards her, till I'm just a foot away from her and ask the one question forever on my mind.
"Do you still love me?"
After a long silence she quietly says "Don't ruin this Daniel"
"Because I still love you" I continue
"Good night Daniel" She reply's firmly, her eyes looking less and less friendly by the second.
"Answer the question" I say just as firmly
"You hurt me" she says anger in her eyes
"That wasn't the question" I say sternly
"Just leave" she hisses, sounding threatening
"You're not answering because you can't admit the truth" I reply anger seeping into my voice.
I stand solidly where I am and she glares at me as she puts both hands on my chest and roughly pushes me towards the door. I never realized how strong she really was as I stumble back. It doesn't matter though, I have her right where I want her now, as I pull her in closer to me, not hurting her, but firm enough so she's stuck. I lean forward and bring my lips to hers, kissing her gently, exploring her mouth with my tongue. She's angry now and her fists pound harshly on my chest but I don't stop. I'm not the only one who wants this, I'm not the only one who feels this sensual tension. I was right I think to myself as I no longer feel the pressure of her pounding fists on my chest but her hands crawling up to the back of my neck. As her tongue comes alive underneath mine, I tangle my fingers through her soft blonde curls.
I feel her bite down on my lower lip and I moan in pleasure as she sucks on it. Not to be out done I slide my lips from her mouth to the nape of her neck daring myself to taste her precious skin. She tips her head back and moans softly in my ear causing me to feel her hot breath on my skin. Turned on I slide my hands underneath her shirt, making her gasp at my touch on her now exposed skin. She gives me small kisses down my neck causing the tingling feeling to vibrate through my whole body. "Emily" I moan softly, enjoying her touch, not realizing I released the trigger word. The trigger that makes her abruptly stop and roughly push me away from her. I should have said Amanda I think as she angrily shouts "Daniel, Don't touch me again" her voice dripping with venom.
"Don't kid yourself" I say annoyed "You kissed me back, I might have held you against me but don't pretend you weren't just sucking on my neck a minute ago, enjoying it. And do you know why you enjoyed it, because you still feel for me... Just at least admit that"
"Fuck Off"
"I'm not asking you to say you love me but just admit you still feel something"
"You hurt me Daniel, you betrayed me in the worst way. I won't allow myself to feel for you, I don't want love between us I want distance. Can't you just respect that? Stop trying so hard, you haven't even forgiven me yet you want me. That's twisted, just leave me alone." She says coldly
Her words cut like ice as I realize she's absolutely right I really am twisted. I walk out her house silently thinking, I won't bother you again.
I hope you liked this chapter. PLEASE COMMENT/REVIEW
To check out the song here's the link (watch?v=L6fEfxPjIqA)