~What Once Was Lost~
So I've decided to not update this as often as I previously have been because who has time these days? I certainly don't. It takes many, many hours to write a single chapter and I don't know how some people manage more than one story at once. They amaze me (*cough cough* you know who you are.) Anyhow, I will still continue to write this story but it just won't be updated as often. Sorry:( But thank you for all of your support and reviews! On to chapter thirteen…
Traffic. It was insane. All four lanes were filled with a variety of cars and trucks and vans each inching slowly forward. And inching was no exaggeration.
Ezra glanced at the clock and saw that it was 5:15 and then realized the stupidity of his actions. Leaving now meant that he was hitting the crowd of people leaving work on their way to the suburbs surrounding Philadelphia. If he had waited to eat at home he could have beaten the exodus of people. No wonder he had gone less than a mile in thirty minutes.
He laid his head back on the seat impatiently. He had spent the past two weeks meeting with various publishers and agents and journalists and he was beyond ready to be home. They had gone a whole week longer than they were supposed to and he was beat. Though he had spent much of his youth in large cities such as the one he had just left, Ezra had come to appreciate Rosewood, Pennsylvania.
The city where had spent his college years and most days since then was the perfect size. It was large enough to sustain a social life yet not too big. It had the necessities and that was all he needed. It also had a stylish 5'2" brunette and a little girl named Sadie who he had left behind for two weeks and was anxious to get back to. He had a daughter to get to know and an Aria to win back, neither of which could be done from New York or Philly.
Plus Rosewood didn't have traffic.
The black Prius in front of him started and he let off the brakes, his car slowly moving forward following the outpouring of cars as they made their way west. At this rate he would reach his apartment at 7:00 regardless of the fact that Rosewood was only about twenty miles from Philadelphia.
After about forty-five seconds of moving forward at a turtle's pace, the traffic once again stopped and Ezra groaned. He was so close, yet so far.
Sitting in his driver's seat did give him an opportunity to think though which he hadn't really had time to do since arriving in New York. Between Simone's ranting about him not having his phone and the meetings and dinners and interviews, he had no time to relax and process things. Some of the recent occurrences still sat at the back of his mind like not-digested food, among which was his happenstance meeting with Sadie.
He was still unsure as to why she had been out alone in the rain. When he first saw her he had had the impression that she might've been crying which the harsh weather element could do to a child. If she had to be outside, he could understand why she might but miserable, but she didn't. Inside of The Brew was warm and comfortable. The door was one that a small child could easily open. Why she didn't return to shelter was lost to him.
Then there was the expression that crossed her beautiful little face after their eyes met. In her blue eyes was recognition and thoughtfulness. It was obvious that she knew who he was. How? He wasn't sure. He hadn't seen her before, but, then again, he hadn't been looking. His mind instantly scanned over the times when he had been with/seen Aria and realized that she could have been there on the sidelines or just a little lower to the ground than his eyes ever wandered.
Ezra was almost willing to bet money that she had been at Ella's reception. It was probably also her that he had seen that day when he saw Aria hugging that blonde guy outside of Lucky Leon's. Had he paid a little more attention, he would have known sooner. That thought was intriguing in a way. What else did he miss by not knowing what to look for?
He shook his head a little bit. That was beside the point. Ezra followed his train of thought back to Sadie.
She knew who he was and she didn't seem scared of him. There was a trust in her doe eyes that he never wanted to betray. He wanted to see that whenever she looked at him regardless of how old she grew.
And then there was the hug…
As soon as she threw her little arms around his neck he knew that he would be forever wrapped around her finger, just like he was with Aria. Even though he didn't know the first thing about her, he did know that she would be one of the best things that happened to him. Just like Aria was.
In a sense, the first time he met Aria was a lot like the first time he met Sadie. Both times each girl had been sitting alone. Both times they captured his attention with one look. Both times he fell in love almost instantly. Both times he left knowing that there was a connection there. Like mother, like daughter. Both were impossible to resist.
Ezra still hadn't quite wrapped his around the fact that Aria was a mother. He pictured her as a pregnant senior in high school, a baby bump clearly showing beneath her leopard print shirt. He pictured her sitting on the bathroom floor puking into the toilet. He pictured her lying in a hospital bed, convulsing with the pain of childbirth. He pictured the tender look in her hazel eyes as she held their daughter for the first time.
He wished he could have been there.
Those were all things he thought that he would be a part of. He thought that he would be there to see as her stomach grew as the baby did. He imagined himself there holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back on those days when nothing seemed to agree with her. He thought he would be there squeezing her hand as she lay in a hospital bed. He had always imagined that he would be the second to hold the newborn, to look down into the eyes of the child that they had created.
Though none of those things had happened, he still loved Sadie and he still loved Aria. Living in the past would only make him miss the future. What was important was that he knew and he could be a part of the rest of his daughter's life and maybe a part of the rest of Aria's life.
The car in front of him pulled ahead and he did as well, by that time practically having every surrounding car and their license plates memorized. If he rearranged the letters on the raised white truck behind him you could spell the word pigeon. The minivan to his right was from Mississippi and was obviously a Duck Dynasty fan judging by the happy happy happy bumper sticker. The suburban in the lane to his left and up a few cars had a hanging TV and the passengers in the back were watching some show with a yellow square who apparently lived in a pineapple and which made him a little concerned about the upcoming generation. He could go on and practically tell the life stories of his traffic neighbors by observing them and looking over the exterior of their cars.
While he had been sitting in pretty much the same position, the sun had made noticeable progress in its daily trek across the darkening sky. It was now sinking into the west horizon in the exact direction that he was headed. Soon it would be low enough that his sun visor wouldn't block it and it would be shining directly into his eyes. How convenient.
He sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a second. In a matter of hours he would be home where the most important things in his life were. He just had to somehow survive another couple of miles of the infernal traffic.
"Where's Aria?" Hanna asked Spencer who was sitting across the table from her. They had made plans for dinner at the Rosewood Grille but one of the spots was still empty, the plate and glass untouched and the chair neatly tucked in.
Spencer looked up from her salad that she had spent more time pushing around than eating. "She's in her room. She's been there all day."
Emily set her lemonade down and raised one eyebrow. "She seemed fine a couple of days ago when we went shopping for Hanna. Is she sick?"
Ali scoffed, "Sick with a disease called I lied to Ezra for a long time and now he hasn't talked to me for two weeks and he needs to forgive me."
All three of the girls glared at her. "That was totally uncalled for, Ali. You know why Aria acted the way that she did," Spencer reprimanded. Her relationship with Ali had never been that strong but it was especially thin at the moment. Spencer had always been very observant and what she was seeing didn't impress her, not where Ali was concerned.
Emily brushed it off as she often did with Ali's sarcastic remarks. "He hasn't contacted her for two weeks?"
Spencer shook her head, still annoyed at Alison but turning her attention to Emily. "For a few days she just shrugged it off. She didn't want to pressure him. Then she started getting worried and called him but his phone went straight to voicemail. She's really confused because apparently Ezra saw Sadie and she thought that he would want to be a part of her life. Now she thinks that he wants nothing to do with either of them."
Hanna stopped on her fries long enough to ask a question. "How could he see Sadie and not want to squeeze her to death?"
"I never actually saw the interaction but I saw Aria afterwards and she looked really happy. It doesn't seem like Fitz would just disappear and if he did he would have told her something rather than just going AWOL," Emily said, genuinely concerned for the well-being of Aria.
Spencer nodded. "It is totally uncharacteristic of him which is why I think there was a miscommunication somewhere." Her voice was suggestive and she glanced at Ali who seemed uninterested in the entire conversation.
"Why are you looking at me? You think I know something and I didn't tell Aria?" she asked accusingly.
That was actually exactly what Spencer thought. She had seen the way that she had interacted with him at the wedding and then had seen her walking out of Ezra's apartment complex the morning after Aria told him. Spencer noticed the way she looked at him and it wasn't platonic. The way that she bristled and got defensive when she looked at her was enough to suggest that she was hiding something.
"No, no. You just seem to know him a little better than the rest of us. What do you think?" Spencer assured with an innocent expression on her face.
Ali let some of the tenseness in her body relax. "Ezra's probably beating himself up over it, and he's probably not very happy with Aria. Maybe it's good that he's gone so that he doesn't accidentally say something that could seriously hurt Aria."
Emily nodded, "I guess that would make sense. He always has been very cautious about hurting her."
Hanna threw a burnt fry dramatically onto her plate. "Well if he hurts Aria, I will hurt him. Where it hurts."
Ali chuckled, "I'm sure you would Hanna." The pregnant woman was in a mood that if you so much as crossed her, she would slap you across the face and have no reservations about it.
"You know, I've actually got to go. Caleb will probably be getting home soon and wanting dinner." Hanna stood and grabbed her jacket off of the back of her chair, throwing a ten onto the table as she did so. "That will cover my meal. Keep the change."
Spencer raised her eyebrows, "You never cook dinner. Caleb always does."
The blonde tossed her shoulder. "Yeah, well, people change."
None of them saw any point in arguing to they watched as she left, each knowing that Hanna had no intention to fix dinner for her husband.
"You know, I almost feel bad," Ali said with a small smile.
"Why?" Spencer asked.
"Because I have a feeling that a certain English teacher will be receiving a pregnant visitor. And that might not end well."
Ezra walked wearily up the stairs to his apartment. As if the traffic hadn't been enough, he had gotten a flat tire in between Rosewood and Philly and he didn't have a spare. He had to wait almost two hours while an Auto Repair shop fixed it. The amount it totaled up to could buy four new tires at any other place but he had no other alternative. Consequently he got home at 8:00.
He pulled a suitcase behind him and had one of his teaching bags slung over his shoulder. His jacket was on despite the fact that it was a warm night. He still had some work papers on the passenger seat of his car but those could wait until the next day. Going up and down the stairs again would be too much effort.
He set the handle to his suitcase down long enough to insert the key into its slot and turn it. The handle wouldn't turn which meant that he had locked it which meant that it had been unlocked. Frankly, Ezra wasn't surprised. His mind had been so preoccupied when he left two weeks previously that he probably forgot to lock it.
The first thing he noticed when he finally did get the door open was that the light was on which didn't make any sense. Turning off the lights was a habit that required absolutely no thought. He never left them on. And if he had, they would have burned out.
Then he noticed the blonde sitting on his couch flipping through a magazine.
She looked up, "You know, you should really subscribe to something that doesn't put you to sleep."
He looked at the cover of his Travel Magazine. "Hanna, what are you doing here?"
"I'm reading, duh," she rolled her eyes, turning another page and looking at the pictures of the rainforests in Rio de Janeiro. "Have you ever been to South America? I hear they have a lot of bugs."
Ezra shut the door behind him and set his keys and bag on the table. "No, I haven't been there and yes, it has a lot of bugs. Most places do," he answered. "And I know you didn't come to my apartment to read. You never read, Hanna. All of your assignments you turned in were based off of the movies."
She smiled, "I read that one book."
Her former English teacher nodded, "Yeah, when I gave you an assignment to read any book and do an evaluation for it and you read The Cat in the Hat."
"It had pages, it had words, it had an author. It was a book," Hanna shrugged. She brought the magazine closer to her face so she could see the large spider more clearly. It looked like it would jump right off of the page at her and she shuddered before snapping it shut and setting the magazine back on the counter.
"Why are you here?" he asked again, letting the other topic drop because there was no reasoning with her. That was one thing he had learned very clearly whilst he was her teacher.
"Because I just went and saw Aria and she looks like a homeless person. And Aria never looks like a homeless person," Hanna said, playing with the sleeve of her hoodie. The past few days she had been cold all of the time and never left the house without a jacket or a sweater.
Ezra set everything else down and went to sit across from her in his orange stuffed chair. "Is she okay?"
Hanna looked at him as if he were daft. "I shouldn't have to explain this to you. Why wouldn't she be upset?"
Though the blonde was normally the confused one, this time it was his turn. He had no idea what she was talking about. "Hanna, I've been in New York for the past weeks and didn't have my phone with me. I have no clue what's wrong."
"Oh yeah, I saw that your cell phone was on your desk next to some pretty big bills. Good thing you are going to get lots of money once your book hits the stands."
He closed his eyes in exasperation. Of course she had gone through his papers. "That's beside the point."
She shrugged, "You're the one who brought it up."
"Is Aria okay?" he asked, relying heavily upon the patience that got him through long days of teaching cocky high-schoolers who only cared about the weekend.
Hanna looked around at the tiny space, lost in her own thoughts. The place was about as big as her living room and she wasn't sure how he managed to survive with such little breathing room. She also wasn't sure why Aria loved the place so much. It was a little cluttered and filled with so many books that it could be a library. But, then again, Aria probably didn't care about the place as long as she wasn't the only one in it.
Her eyes wandered to the kitchen, passing those of Ezra's along the way to find that he was watching her expectantly. "I'm sorry, did you ask something?"
"Is Aria okay?" he asked for the third time.
She knit her eyebrows. "She says that she is."
"But you don't believe her," he said. It wasn't a question.
Hanna shook her head, "No, I don't believe her. Aria tends to shut us out sometimes and she's doing that again. She pushes us away when she's struggling and I hate it, we all hate it. We want to help, but she doesn't want to accept it. She's too independent and strong-willed for her own good."
Ezra couldn't disagree with that. He had experienced it himself on numerous occasions and being shut out by her was like living in Antarctica. It was cold and lonely and a miserable place to be in.
"So you need to forgive her and work things out. You need to be the father Sadie's always wanted. And you need to figure out what you want so she's not left in the dark all of the time. It's not fair for her or us," Hanna said with authority in her voice.
The young English teacher nodded, "I agree and I plan to do all of those things."
Hanna stood up and gave a quick nod of her head. "Good. She still cares about you more than she'd ever admit."
He offered a small smiled and she spun in the direction of the door. Just as she was about to leave, Ezra stopped her. "Hanna, how did you get in?"
She didn't turn around to face him. "I used the key that's under your welcome mat."
He raised an eyebrow, "How did you know that it was there?"
"I found it last time I came here," she answered simply.
He couldn't remember the last time she was there. In fact, he couldn't remember her ever being there. "Which was when?"
She looked over her shoulder, "A few days ago. I borrowed your bathroom." The blonde left before he could respond.
He sat staring in the direction his former student had gone. She had been in his apartment without him knowing. She had borrowed his bathroom. She knew where he kept his key. That was a whole new level of strange.
Aria lay on her back staring up at the ceiling. It was around the time that she normally woke up, but that couldn't be said about this particular morning. You can't exactly wake up when you never went to sleep.
She had tried for hours to fall asleep, tried to temporarily escape the worries that had been her constant companions for the past few days. Ezra had been gone for almost two weeks leaving no word, no calls, no texts. He had seemingly vanished.
That was exactly what she had been most scared about prior to telling him. She had been scared that he would be mad and not want any part in her life, in Sadie's life. That kind of rejection from him was what haunted her in nightmares. Now those nightmares were reality.
Why else would he not leave any word unless he didn't care about what she felt? In her past experience with him, he always gave her a heads up no matter how mad he was at her. The fact that he hadn't really concerned her.
When she looked out of The Brew's window and saw him crouched in front of Sadie it was enough to fill her whole heart with love and contentment. He had looked at their daughter with an expression full of wonder and softness. It was an expression that she had only seen a few times before on his face, each time directed at her. It was the look he had given her the first time she told him that she loved him. It was the look he had given her that night when he lost his job at Hollis. It was the look that he had given her when she showed up at his door to check on him even after everything that had happened with the book.
The fact that he had given Sadie that look was what made everything so confusing.
Did he want to be a part of her life? The way he held her would suggest yes but then disappearing for a week suggested no. Was he still angry at her? Their conversation at The Brew made her think that he would get over it but then not answering her calls made her think that he wanted nothing to do with her.
Aria was at a loss of what to think or say or do. Lying in bed all day seemed like a good idea but the little girl sleeping peacefully next to her made that alternative impossible. She had to be there for Sadie.
She pushed back the covers and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and stepping onto the carpet. She grabbed a blanket from the back of a chair and wrapped it around her small body.
Normally she wasn't cold in the mornings, but she was so mentally tired that it was taking a physical toll on her. Under her eyes were bags that made her look like she was forty rather than in her early twenties. Her hair hadn't been brushed in a few days and it was thrown into a sloppy ponytail on top of her head. Her clothes consisted of grey sweats and a black shirt that didn't go together at all.
Aria walked to the window and leaned onto the windowsill where she caught herself doing something that she never thought she would do.
She was staring longingly at the road that would lead her to New York.
"You know cold showers can help with depression," Spencer said.
Aria jumped slightly and turned around to see the preppy brunette already dressed and ready for the day. Her hair was in a loose French braid that fell only a few inches below her shoulders and her black pencil skirt hugged her waist tightly, extenuating the curves of her body.
"I'm not depressed," Aria replied with a glare.
Spencer nodded, "Yeah you are. I know that things aren't great for you right now, but you're so much stronger than you're acting. You've been through worse. Don't let him have that much control over you."
Aria considered what her life-time best friend had just said. She had been through worse, among which was the three years without him at all. "I know."
The taller brunette checked her wristwatch. "I've got to go to breakfast with my mom but I'll be back in like two hours and I expect you to be showered and wearing some insanely wild colors or something. Deal?"
"I'll think about it," Aria smiled weakly.
Spencer nodded sharply and then left, leaving Aria alone with a sleeping Sadie.
They had gone to bed later than normal last night because Aria had allowed herself into being coerced to watch another movie by the two year old. That meant that she was probably going to remain asleep for at least another thirty minutes.
She took a deep breath and walked to the closet, picking out a pair of light-colored skinny jeans and a grey graphic tee. Once she got out of the shower she would accent the outfit with a brightly colored scarf and some bracelets to please Spencer.
She wouldn't be weak. She couldn't be weak. Both for her sake and for Sadie's.
Aria went over and kissed the toddler on the forehead softly then walked down the hall a little ways to the bathroom where she stripped of her clothes and stepped into the shower with the water as cold as she could possibly stand it.
Emily knocked on Spencer's door once, then twice, then three times. There was no answer, no sign of anyone coming to answer the door. She tried the handle to find it unlocked and she let herself in.
The whole downstairs was empty, no lights, no people, no anything. The only indication that anyone was in the house was the soft music that was drifting down the stairs from Aria's second level room.
Emily stepped in and shut the door behind her before walking up the stairs.
The last time she had seen Aria was a few days ago when they were shopping for Hanna's baby whom they found out was a boy. At that point she seemed fine, but from the accounts she received from both Spencer and Hanna, she wasn't doing so well.
Emily turned right at the top of the stairs and pushed on Aria's door which was slightly ajar. Though the small brunette was nowhere to be seen, the smaller brunette was.
"Where's your mom, Sadie?"
The two year old looked up from the book she was looking through and pointed out of the door towards the bathroom but didn't say anything.
Emily nodded her thanks, not sure if the young girl would actually get what she meant by that but shrugging it off. She looked around the room and a few things caught her eye.
First was the large suitcase that lay open on the bed next to Sadie. Next were the clothes strewn across the floor and the bed and some folded neatly like they were being packed. After that her eyes fell on a crumpled paper sitting on a nightstand.
She narrowed her eyes and walked over closer. She picked the paper up and then quickly scanned over the contents.
"Emily? How long have you been here?" Aria asked from the doorway. She saw the paper Emily was looking at but knew that it would do no good to try to explain. She already knew.
"You're going back to New York?" Emily's mind was reeling. The letter was dated a few weeks back and Aria hadn't mentioned it once.
Aria bit her lip and looked down. While in her frigid shower she had given more thought to what Spencer had said earlier that morning. She was strong. She had to be. But Aria knew she wasn't strong enough to witness his rejection. Putting distance between them and not knowing what was going on in his life what manageable; she had done it for three years. It would be easier to explain to Sadie that way. It would be easier for Aria to pretend like she hadn't potentially screwed up his life again.
"Aria, look at me," Emily demanded. "You're running away? You just got here. We, your friends, your family, everyone else, just got you back. You can't leave again!"
The short brunette leaned against the doorframe. "I can't be here. Not with him," she finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. A single tear rolled down her cheek and she made no move to wipe it away.
The raw pain that Emily heard in her miniature friend was enough to pull at her heart strings. Seeing Aria like that made her want to cry but she didn't. One of them needed to stay sane and it wasn't Aria at the moment. "You don't know the whole story, Aria. You should wait. Mr. Fitz couldn't not care, not where you're involved."
Aria wanted to believe the comforting words her friends offered, the ones that ended with them as a happy family, but she couldn't. Those fantasies weren't rational. "He hasn't called in over two weeks. I think that that is evidence enough that he doesn't care."
Emily shook her head. "No, there is some form of miscommunication going on. Mr. Fitz wouldn't leave you like this."
"But he did. Emily, believe me. I've thought of every possibility. Every reason that would justify his actions. And I've come up short every time," she said, using elaborate hand gestures as she talked which she only did when she was really agitated.
Emily's eyes went back to the NYU acceptance letter in her hand. She knew it was a huge opportunity for her. She understood the pain Aria would be in if, indeed, she was no longer Mr. Fitz' teacher's pet. But she also knew him well enough to know that there had to be an alternative that Aria didn't think of. This wasn't like him.
When Emily didn't reply, Aria stepped into the room and once again began throwing things from her closet out onto the floor or the bed or wherever it landed.
"Aria, don't you think you're acting a little hastily? I think you should just give it another week."
A fire had entered Aria's hazel eyes and she nodded sharply, "That may be what you think, but I've made my decision. We're going back to New York."
Emily saw that there was going to be no arguing with her. She had a steely determination and no one had ever been able to reason with that. No one but Ezra.
Aria went about her packing as if Emily were no longer standing there and Emily simply watched, considering her options.
Aria and Sadie couldn't leave. That was one thing that she did know. And she could think of only one way to keep her there.
Emily set the paper down on the nightstand. "I'm going to go. Aria, I think you're making a mistake."
The small brunette stopped long enough to glare at her. "I think that this is my decision and I'm capable of making it myself."
Emily nodded and raised her eyebrows. It was like the days after she found out about the book all over again. She went from being hurt to being angry to being defensive to being broken in the blink of an eye. She just shrugged it off and left the room, quickly making her way out to her car.
She slid into the driver's seat, prepared to commence operation keep Aria from leaving Rosewood.
Ezra folded the last of his shirts that had been hurriedly shoved into his suitcase and slipped it into the drawer. He slid the drawer shut and it closed with a slight thud, signaling that he was officially back home.
He zipped his suitcase up and returned it to its position before sitting down at his desk where the pile of bills had gotten noticeably bigger. It wasn't that he didn't have the money to pay them, it was just that he hadn't sat down and taken care of them for a while. He needed to do that now so that his phone would once again work and he wouldn't be kicked out of his apartment.
Ezra reached out and grabbed his calculator. This was always his least favorite part of living alone. Numbers and math had never really been his thing. It was times like these when he wished that he had spent more of his time in math class actually listening instead of writing poems in the back of his notebook.
And it was even more inconvenient this time because normally he paid bills via his phone but his phone service didn't work.
He sighed and began sorting the papers and envelopes into which needed to be paid first and which could wait a little longer.
Ezra began tapping his pen while reading over the statement, his eyes quickly scanning the lines.
He had only gotten three out of eleven successfully paid before he heard his door swing open.
Ezra quickly pushed back the wooden chair he was sitting in and turned to face his unannounced visitor.
"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry Mr. Fitz. I don't know what I was thinking," Emily said with wide brown eyes, still shocked that she had walked in on him. She had originally intended to knock but she had been so lost in thought that she had forgotten that part of her plan.
He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, let's just both be grateful that I am fully clothed."
Her cheeks colored with embarrassment. That potentially could have gone really bad. "I'm so sorry. Really I am. I didn't mean to walk in like that," she apologized again, her sentences coming out in more of stutters.
He nodded, still a little shocked. The only person that ever walked in without introduction was Aria back when they were together. "You might not have meant to just walk in, but you obviously did mean to come here. Do you need something?"
Emily finally let her eyebrows return to their usual position rather than their elevated place on her forehead. "I need to talk to you."
Ezra was still very confused but he gestured towards the couch. "Please, take a seat."
She did as offered and went to sit on the leather couch placing her elbows on her knees and waiting for him to join her.
He realized that he was just awkwardly standing there and quickly went over to sit in the orange sofa that he had sat in the night before when Hanna had visited him. He decided that he really needed to either hide the key better or move. So many of his former English students had been showing up at his door that people were going to start to wonder.
"Aria's not okay, Ezra," she began, not sure where else to start.
His eyes instantly became filled with concern. "What's wrong?"
"You haven't contacted her for two weeks. You didn't tell her where you were going. You didn't call her. You didn't email her. You just disappeared out of her life. And you better have a very good excuse because if not Hanna's threatened to hurt you where it hurts."
His expression, though still filled with worry for Aria, changed to surprise. Emily had said that last line with a completely serious expression making him a little concerned for himself as well. "I was in New York for work purposes. Did Alison not tell you?"
Emily was now the surprised one. "What does Alison have to do with anything?"
Ezra's mind was sent spinning as a dozen different possible possibilities crossed through his head. Maybe Alison hadn't been true to her word. "Did Ali not tell Aria?"
Emily wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Ali tell Aria what?"
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Things were actually starting to make sense. Why Hanna showed up. Why Emily showed up. Why Aria was 'not okay'. "Alison came by my apartment the morning after Aria told me about Sadie and reminded me of my meeting in New York which I had to leave for that night. I wanted to tell Aria that I was leaving but I had to pack and a few things and I couldn't call her because I haven't paid my phone bill. Ali said that she would tell her and convey my apologies."
For some reason, Emily wasn't blown away by this news. It was exactly like Alison to do something like this, most likely out of jealousy. "No, she never told Aria that. Aria has basically been tearing herself apart trying to figure out what your leaving meant."
Ezra bit his lip as he thought about everything that had resulted from his trusting Ali again. "What did she decide?"
"That you want nothing to do with Sadie and that you want nothing to do with her," Emily answered.
He leaned back against the cushion behind him and closed his eyes for a second. "That couldn't be further from the truth," he assured Emily even though the person who really needed to be told that was Aria. "I need to go see her this afternoon."
Emily shook her head. "You need to go see her now."
Mr. Fitz looked over at his desk where the papers were still sprawled out across every available space. "I have to finish paying some bills this morning."
"But those will still be here tomorrow. Aria might not be."
His eyebrows rose and he sat up straight once again. "What do you mean?"
Emily wrung her hands, obviously worried just like he was. "She's packing to go back to New York."
A wave of surprise crossed his face and then he instantly shot up. In twenty seconds he had grabbed his keys and was out of the door leaving Emily to stare after him.
"Yeah, okay, I'll just chill here. You're welcome for telling you and goodbye to you too," she muttered sarcastically.
Ezra pulled into Spencer Hastings' driveway, quickly shutting off his car and stepping out into the warm early-afternoon air.
He walked through the iron gate the barred the entrance to the sidewalk and instantly saw Sadie who was sitting on the front step looking at him with her intelligent blue eyes.
Once again he was struck with how beautiful she was, struck with how much she looked like Aria.
And she was outside again. All by herself. Sitting on a cement step. He really had no clue.
She studied him as he got closer, her face remaining expressionless. Once he was only about five feet in front of her she stood up. "You made mommy cry," she said almost accusingly.
He crouched down in front of her as he had done the first time he saw her. "I did and I'm sorry."
Sadie contemplated that for a moment then nodded, seeming to accept his apology.
Ezra reached out and tilted her head back slightly. "You got your stitches out."
Sadie touched the once hurt area, her hand brushing Ezra's as she did so and nodded.
The fact that he was in front of his daughter still amazed him. After Aria left he never imagined that he would hold the title of 'daddy' but now he did and he still hadn't quite wrapped his head around that.
"I'm going to go talk to your mom. Do you want to come inside?"
She thought about it for a moment before reaching out with two hands which even Ezra knew meant that she wanted to be held. He gladly complied, scooping her up and bringing her close to him, loving the feel of her little hand on his shoulder.
He walked up the steps and knocked on the door. A few minutes later it swung open and Spencer was revealed standing in the doorway.
"Mr. Fitz, hello."
He gave a quick inclination with his head, "Hi. Is Aria here?"
Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Yes she's here."
"May I come in?"
The brunette looked at him with a thoughtful expression. "Yes, but there are conditions."
Ezra had a general idea about what the 'conditions' would consist of but he asked anyways.
"I talked to both Hanna and Emily and they both told me your story. I believe them. You should know though that if you hurt her I will kill you," Spencer said, her face completely serious.
"That's not the first threat I've received from one of your group," he assured her as he stepped past her into the hallway. "And I have no intention of hurting her."
Spencer just nodded. "Her room is up the stairs and to the right. Do you want me to take Sadie?"
Ezra looked down at the little girl in his arms. He was learning quickly that she didn't talk much. "That would probably be best."
Spencer reached for Sadie who ignored her hands and looked up at Ezra. "Where are you going?"
He smiled slightly. "I'm going to go talk to your mom but I'll be back in a little bit okay?"
Sadie nodded and then went to Spencer who swung her onto her hip.
Ezra took a breath and walked up the stairs, following Spencer's instructions and turning right when he reached the top.
The door to her room was half open and through it he could only see part of a bed and a little table next to it that was currently holding her phone and a child's book. On the floor he could see parts of clothing that was probably strewn across the whole room. When Aria was mad, things went flying.
With that thought his mind instantly went back to his apartment. Walking in after just arriving back from New York was a little overwhelming. All of his research was on the ground amidst shards of glass and upturned tables. It literally looked like his apartment had been through a tornado and then a hurricane.
He didn't have to wonder who was responsible. A few things gave it away like how some of the files were opened to things he had written about her. The glass guarding the picture frame with their picture was shattered and the picture lay in a cracked mess on the floor. The higher things hadn't been touched which in and of itself was enough to let him know that it had been her.
Ezra had felt a little surprised but not angry. After what he had done, she should've burned the whole place down.
The scene he found when he got to the room was similar although much less broken.
Aria didn't notice him as he walked in, or if she did she gave no note to it. He watched her for a second as she found something on the floor and then folded it which really did no good because she would then throw it angrily into the suitcase which undid her efforts.
"What are you doing?" he asked after a moment.
The short brunette glanced at him for a split second but didn't slow her work.
"Aria. Where are you going?" Ezra tried again to which she blatantly ignored. He sighed and walked towards her, his hands quickly grabbing hers and stopping her from adding more items to the suitcase.
Aria looked down at his hands that had always fit so perfectly in hers. She didn't know how to feel or what to say or what to think.
"Aria, look at me, please," Ezra pleaded softly.
When she did so her hazel eyes were brimming with tears that were threatening to fall down her flawless face. He used his thumb to wipe the tear that had slipped out from the corner of her eye.
"You promised me you wouldn't leave me again, remember?" he asked, his eyes soft and his voice raw with emotion.
Her bottom lip quivered slightly and her eyes filled with a fierce determination. "You left me, though. For two weeks. With no word."
She tried to pull back her hands but he wouldn't relinquish his hold on them. It agitated her but Ezra wasn't about to let her go. Not again.
"I left word with Alison. It just never got to you."
Her eyes narrowed, "Where were you?" she finally whispered.
"New York. I had some work things that I had to take care of. I was only supposed to be gone for a week but Simone scheduled more meetings that I was unaware of," he answered honestly.
"Why didn't you call?"
He looked down at their hands and replied somewhat sheepishly, "I forgot to pay my bills. The telephone company shut my phone off."
The tiniest hint of hope entered her eyes. She still didn't know what to say or do and the tears were still leaking down her face.
Ezra's eyes softened. Seeing her like this, vulnerable and emotional, was something that he had always loved because it was a side of her that only he saw. To everyone else she put up a front but to him she could and would open up. That had always made him so happy.
"Aria, I know that there was some miscommunication between us and I'm sorry, but you need to know that without you in my life, I have nothing. I will always want you, no matter what. And I do want to be a part in Sadie's life as well. I want to be the dad that she's dreamed of. I want the opportunity to see her grow and become more and more like her beautiful mother. I want nothing more than to have you both in my life," he said, his voice low and soft.
Aria closed her eyes and let his words permeate her skin, sinking through to her heart where they stayed.
"Please don't leave, Aria. I couldn't take it if you did," he begged.
"But-" she began but Ezra cut her off quickly by placing his fingers against her mouth.
"No buts, Aria," he said solemnly.
She bit her lip then blurted out. "I got accepted into NYU."
He raised his eyebrows, "You did?"
Aria nodded, "And a scholarship."
"Is that what you want?" he asked after a moment. That was a huge opportunity for her and something she had always dreamed about. But her accepting it meant that he would lose her again.
She shook her head slightly and looked down at the acceptance letter that was now on her bed. "I used to dream about it, but dreams change I guess," she said quietly.
He brushed a strand of slightly damp hair back behind her hair leaving his hand on the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "What's your new dream?"
Aria looked up at him, her eyes vulnerable. "Sadie. You. Us."
Ezra's eyes softened. "I like that dream." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him, one hand gently rubbing her back as he kissed the top of her head.
His eyes caught sight of movement at the door and he looked to see Sadie standing there watching them. He waved her over and she walked up to them, carefully maneuvering around the clothing items on the floor.
Ezra let go of Aria long enough to pick her up and then once again snaked his arm across her waist.
Sadie looked at him with content eyes. "You made mommy smile."
He looked over at Aria to find that Sadie was right. Aria was smiling and so was he. Life was temporarily put on hold as Ezra looked back and forth between the two beautiful girls that he had the privilege of calling his. "Yes, I did."
Ezra's met with all of the girls now and Sadie and Aria and Ezra are all together:) Again, sorry about the wait and I hoped you liked this chapter. Please review and tell me what you think!