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Chapter 13
And so she awoken
There was pain, but not like before.
Edward's teeth pierced the flesh of her neck, but to Bella it seemed minor. Far away. The pain was a vehicle to an end result that she truly craved.
"Ah …" the slightest sound as she felt her blood begin to flow. No pulsing climax this time, only a bittersweet ache of desire.
This act was no culmination of lust, but rather a final act of love. Bella sighed, feeling tension leave her.
The draining sensation increased, seemed to swallow her. The thudding of her heart, the deep rush of her breath, these things soon brought her to a state of near hypnosis.
Edward held her gently in her swoon, drinking, his lips against her neck, judging her pulse.
Waiting. At last pulling away. Bella looked up, eyes half-lidded. Breathing seemed difficult, but the sensation was so far removed she could not be sure.
The world was grey and dim. Edward's eyes alone seemed to shine out at her. She heard herself say something, the words lost instantly. She would have to remember to ask Edward later what it was, what she'd said.
Is this death? She had time to think. This apathy, this dimness?
Her heart pumped in her chest for what felt like the first time in minutes.
Weak. Bella could not keep her eyes open. A voice, whispering. Drink. Drink.
And there was pressure at her lips, and warmth, and a deep rushing sound which seemed to swell in her ears until it vibrated through her entire body.
Edward felt Bella's arms tighten around him and breathed a sigh of relief.
For a moment he had been in mortal terror that he'd killed her before she had a chance to drink. Her words to him had shaken him quite badly, more so for the fact that she clearly had not heard them herself.
He'd made the cut at his throat immediately following her declaration, and pressed her lips to it, imploring her to drink.
He felt now the force of those lips, burning like heated iron, felt the draining of blood, enough now that her change was assured.
He was dizzy. Trace amounts of the drug must still have remained in her. It was no worse than dining on a young woman filled with red wine, or warm brandy, though, and he had done both. Rose's voice at the door. A gasp of surprise.
"Oh!" Edward gestured to the chair beside the bed, careful not to disturb Bella, now locked so tightly to his neck that he would have to pry her off.
She was gasping for breath here and there, whimpering slightly, still lost in swoon.
Her thirst would be far greater than ever before. It would take time to satiate her. He heard Rose sit down, felt her take his hand and press it to her cheek.
"I'm so happy for you, Edward." He felt her muscles stretch as she smiled. But he could feel tears there, too.
Darkness, my love. All I see for us is darkness.
Bella's voice, Kate's words. Had she not whispered this exact prophecy more than three hundred years ago, tears coursing down her cheeks, reflecting the moonlight like rivers of silver?
Bare skin, sharp fangs, joined at the waist, joined at the neck. Dull throbbing, dull roaring, the blood, the skin, the tears, and then that whisper. And all that had followed.
Tears at his fingertips. Rose weeping, he knew, for the beginning of the end.
Edward had betrayed her at last, as they both had known he would someday do. How was she to live as Carlisle's servant? What was left for her now that Edward had Bella?
Only Alice, and the darkness at the end of the hall; madness on either side greater even than her own.
Tears at his throat. Bella's? Kate's? Edward drifted between New York of the 21st century, and London of the 17th, and heard again those words. Darkness. Darkness.
Who better to speak of darkness than those forsaken by the sun? Who better to voice those words than a vampire?
"I would make her my bride."
"You will do no such thing."
"You cannot hold me forever, father." Edward felt himself reaching the limit of his strength.
Bella had drained him as much as he dared allow. He unwound her arms from his neck, pushed her lips from his wound, pushed her words from his mind.
Consciousness came to Bella like layers of red gauze being lifted from her eyes. She could feel Edward's arms around her, holding her safe, as the blood rushed and roared.
It burned her veins, as her empty body sought to replenish itself, but the hurt was far away. Unimportant.
She spoke his name, forced her eyes to focus, looked around. Rose, too, was here now. Not Rosalie. Bella could tell solely from the expression on the face.
Melancholy, and yet filled with happiness. Tear tracks were drying on her cheeks. Rosalie could not have looked like that if her life had depended on it. Bella coughed.
"I'm thirsty, Edward." Rose laughed at this. Bella felt Edward take a deep breath.
Bella put her arms behind her, took her weight away from Edward, and glanced around. The light, previously dim, now seemed much brighter. It was not overwhelming, but the change was drastic.
Rose stood in a corner now, smiling in a way that said she knew precisely what Bella was experiencing.
Bella flexed the muscles of her arms. Edward watched her, his uncanny calm returning once again to mask whatever he might be feeling.
"How do you feel?" Rose asked. Her grin said she knew.
"Thirsty. Hungry. Strong." A pretty laugh and Rose glanced at Edward.
"I think the young lady's in need of a drive, Edward. Time to show her what she really is." Edward stirred as if waking from deep contemplation. He turned to Rose.
"And what are we, really, sister?" Rose's smile didn't waver, nor did it turn bitter or cynical. She raised her eyebrows a bit, eyes gleaming.
"I believe we are predators, brother."
"Ah. Yes. That we are. Do you understand this, Bella?" Bella considered.
"Does it matter who I drink from?"
"Not so long as their blood is untainted."
"Or relatively so," Rose chimed in. Edward sighed, and her smile widened momentarily.
Bella looked out the window, thinking. One name came immediately to mind.
"Not tonight." Edward's voice was flat. Bella turned to him.
"Why not?"
"He'll wait. There will be time to avenge the wrongs of your past, Bella. Tonight is about your future."
"Who would you have me kill then, Edward?"
"There are twelve million people sleeping in that city, Bella, and several hundred thousand between us and them. Pick one." Bella mused, looking frustrated. Rose watched, obviously confused, but not yet ready to interrupt with questions.
"You confuse the mortal desire for revenge with some sort of higher purpose, Bella. You will have it, but not tonight." Edward's voice carried no judgment. He was simply stating the facts.
Bella looked over at him, swallowed, closed her eyes momentarily. This was not what she had expected, exactly. Edward's calm description of vampirism had seemed so clear, so easy to accept.
She had expected to come through to the other side believing in it as thoroughly as she had when she asked him to finish her. She had not expected this nervousness, this concern.
"How do you mentally prepare yourself to kill someone?" Bella's voice was plaintive.
"I thought that … when I was finished, that I'd just want it. That I wouldn't care." Edward shook his head.
"No, not at first anyway. Eventually you will come to understand, or to rationalize … it depends to whom you talk. At first it will likely be hard for you. I do not think, though, that your current thirst will let you wait, and that is perhaps for the best." A moment passed. Bella sighed. He was right.
"There was a town, in a little valley, surrounded by trees. I saw it on the night when this all started. You took me there." Edward nodded. "There, then. If we're ending what was started that night, we might as well do it there." Edward stood and grinned. It was like sun breaking through on a grey morning.
"A good idea. We shall go there. As beautiful as you look in that gown though, Bella, I think you may find your old dressing habits more suitable to this line of activity. I will meet you in the garage." He departed. Rose remained. "Who did you want to start with, Bella? Who were you talking about?"
"Someone I should probably just forget." Bella opened the closet and peered at the clothes within. "Someone who maybe deserves worse than even I can give him." Rose raised her eyebrows, then shrugged. If Bella didn't want to talk about it, that was okay. She turned to leave. "Will I see you there, Rose?" Bella did not turn to look, but her voice betrayed more nerves, more fear, than perhaps she had intended.
"Do you want me there, Bella?"
"I'm going to cry, when … I hate crying. Edward's been doing this for so long, I don't know if he understands anymore. He's …"
"He's above it all." Rose understood. Bella could hear it in her voice.
"Are you?"
"Nearly so, but I still remember. Bella, I'll be there if you want me to be there."
"Edward's car won't fit us." Rose smiled. "I have cars of my own. A pretty little red BMW, for one. I know where you're going." She shrugged her shoulders. "Is it hard for you to ask, Bella?" Bella nodded. "Then I'll ask. May I come with you, Bella? I'd like to be there, but I thought you might want only Edward." Bella turned to her, smiled, clearly fighting against tears.
"Yes. Thanks. I'm scared, Rose."
"It will be beautiful, Bella. You'll understand soon. I'll see you in town."
It was only after Rose had departed that Bella thought again of that look of melancholy, those tear tracks on her cheeks.
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Chantinique
