Disclaimer: I do not own K-ON! nor do I profit from the writing of this story.
Author's Note: Not really much to say here. Just wanting to thank all of those who have taken the time to stick around and continue reading. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think. Anyway enjoy the next chapter.
Azusa would have never guessed that her weekend would have turned out as well as this. Initially she felt somewhat melancholy that her fellow club members were all going to that trip and that she was going to be the one left behind. It brought up very unpleasant thoughts about the fact that this was to be their last year together and that her sempais were going to graduate soon.
Thankfully she was relieved of much emotional turmoil thanks to her now best friend, Ui Hirasawa.
The weekend they had spent together had done wonders for their relationship and Azusa could not be any more grateful towards the younger Hirasawa sibling than she was now. It was nice to know that there was someone there that she could count on, someone in which she could confide in when there was no one else to be had.
In some ways it made Azusa rethink her relationship towards Yui, the older sister.
Did she consider her a best friend also? It was something that Azusa herself had not really thought about until this Sunday evening as both she and Ui were walking together towards the bus stop. There was silence between the two friends but Azusa thought it fitting. She was content in being in Ui's company and being left the opportunity to think about the new circumstances that have come to her attention.
Azusa had the vague feeling that Yui thought her to be the closest of friends. For a while Azusa thought that perhaps Yui was also her best friend. Sure she got annoyed with all her sudden hugs and proclamations of "Azu-nyan!" but she did enjoy being in the company of her sempai.
However her weekend with Ui had really made Azusa consider what her relationship with Yui really was and as she continued to mull it over she came to several realizations.
For one Azusa was sure that she would never have confided in her crush on Mio with Yui. Was it a lack of trust? Perhaps. Azusa knew Yui wasn't the type of person to keep quiet in any situation but that didn't really seem to be the complete reason. Try as she might Azusa just did not feel right confiding in anything to Yui. Likewise she was sure that she wouldn't seek the older Hirasawa sibling for any advice in general.
If that was the case was she truly 'best friends' with Yui? The more Azusa thought about it the more she became convinced that the answer was a resounding 'no.'
Azusa grimaced as she felt a sharp jab of pain in her heart and did her best to hide it lest Ui get concerned.
The petite guitarist could not help but feel despicable thinking like that about Yui. She was so sure that the older guitarist thought her as the closest of the small circle of friends she had and yet here she was proclaiming that she did not feel the same way.
The question soon then became as to why Yui would even consider her to be such a close friend to begin with. Azusa was sure that she really didn't do anything to contribute to the friendship. If anything it seemed that Yui was just fascinated with her and did everything she could to initiate contact. For a moment a dark thought then entered Azusa's head.
Could it be that Yui only feels this close to me because of the way I look? No that can't simply be it…can it?
Yui Hirasawa was simply an enigma to Azusa. When it came down to it she really didn't know Yui as well as she thought she did. Did Yui have any fears? Was there someone she liked? Were there any insecurities that she was feeling at the moment?
The more Azusa thought about it the more she came to realize that there really hasn't been a time that she was alone with Yui, to really talk about stuff that bothered them or confide in each other about things that they would trust no one else to tell. All of these were pointing to signs of a casual friendship and nothing more. Azusa was sure she did nothing to inspire the sort of attention she got from Yui as she did now.
Which brought up her relationship with her younger sister, Ui Hirasawa.
Before this weekend she had maintained a friendly acquaintance with her for two reasons primarily. They were in the same class and she happened to be the younger sister of a club member. As time went on, however, they started to hang out with each other more often without the company of the Light Music Club members and now they found themselves deepening their friendship even more.
What made Ui so special that she was willing to confide in her about her emotional turmoil and not Yui? From a third person perspective, it would have made more sense for Azusa to have confided in Yui considering how close they appeared. Yet appearances were deceiving and despite the physical intimacy that she had with Yui (or more like how Yui just initiated them without her consent half the time) there wasn't much else deeper than that other than their common interest in playing guitar.
Azusa started to feel a bit guilty.
She really didn't give a Yui a chance to prove herself as a friend. All this time that she had been feeling wretched she could have confided in Yui at any time. Sure she could tell herself over and over again that Yui wouldn't have been the right person but how could she know that if she didn't even try?
This was all becoming very confusing and Azusa knew that she needed to sit down and really talk to Yui one of these days. Everything was telling her that her relationship with Yui was nothing more than some superficial pleasantry and Azusa did not want it that way. If she could put in the time to deepen her relationship with Ui then why not try harder to reciprocate Yui's effort into the friendship as well?
"Azusa we're almost there."
The soft timbre that could only belong to Ui brought Azusa out of her thoughts. She looked over at her friend and saw the younger Hirasawa sibling giving her a soft smile.
"You know I'm really happy that I came over this weekend. Truth be told I was feeling a bit down that everyone else was leaving me behind but thanks to you I feel so much better now."
Ui grabbed at Azusa's hand and squeezed tightly. It made her heart swell to see that smile on Azusa's face, to see her look happy. It reminded her of how she felt when Yui would be happy but this felt somewhat different. Ui really couldn't explain it but for the moment she chose to simply enjoy it.
There was a loud, buzzing vibration coming from the pocket of Azusa's light jacket and the petite guitarist made to retrieve her phone. Ui looked over in curiosity wondering who it could be that could be texting her at this time. More than likely it was her older sister sending some silly picture or something.
The sound of a sudden gasp got Ui's attention as noticed Azusa looking at the phone with abject disbelief, her body starting to tremble all over.
"No…this can't be real…why…."
An immediate sense of dread filled the entirety of Ui's body as she saw Azusa in the state she was in. Pushing these ominous premonitions aside she went to the aide of her best friend.
"Azusa what's the matter?"
The petite guitarist did not answer and, instead, decided to run off in the opposite direction, dropping her phone in the meanwhile.
"Azusa-chan!"
Ui just stood there, dumbfounded, as she tried to think of what to do next. Obviously what was contained on the phone was something that Azusa did not want to see but Ui wasn't sure what was it exactly that got her best friend so upset. Suppressing the urge to simply run after Azusa, Ui took the time to pick the phone up and observe its contents. The moment Ui's eyes made contact with the screen she nearly dropped the phone herself in shock.
Azusa…I'm so sorry but I couldn't hide this from you.
There, on the phone screen, showed Mio and Mugi sharing what looked like a very intimate kiss with each other. Ui felt her heart freeze from sudden shock, her eyes widening as her body started to tremble without her noticing. Desperately she shifted through the picture trying to find who it was that sent the picture to her.
Ritsu-sempai.
A thousands questions suddenly sprung from Ui's mind at the sight of that name the foremost being in how Ritsu knew of Azusa's crush on Mio. However her concern for the petite guitarist overrode her curiosity and Ui soon set off in the general direction that Azusa had run off to.
There was some fear in the younger Hirasawa sibling that she might have lost Azusa but thankfully she didn't have to go very far to find Azusa sitting on a park bench, her body slump and her eyes staring at the ground. While initially relieved to have found her best friend Ui could not help but feel for Azusa. She looked so very wretched and miserable.
"Azusa…I don't know what to say." ventured Ui carefully.
The young guitarist did not respond. This was a very tense moment and Ui knew that she had to be very careful in what she said.
We had barely started to deepen our friendship and already it is getting tested this much? W-What am I supposed to do? What do I say? I have never been in this position before! I feel so lost.
Oh sis I wish you were here right now. I know you would have known what to do at this very moment.
"I'm sorry Azusa. Normally a good friend would have found a way to make you feel better right now. I sound pretty pathetic right now, don't I?"
Azusa poked her head up from her lap and looked over at Ui. She wasn't upset at her, not at the least.
"Heh…if it makes you feel better Ui if I were in your position I wouldn't know what to say either." smiled Azusa grimly through her tears.
"Well I would hope that if I did run away you would have done a better job than I and actually stop me from doing anything silly." replied Ui.
"Something tells me that wouldn't happen. I guess we both aren't good friends are we?"
There was a light chuckle between the both of them. Seeing as the tension had dissolved a bit Ui took the chance to sit by Azusa and place her arm around her. Azusa responded by shifting closer to her.
"I would have never expected her to do something like that." said Ui.
"On the contrary I am surprised that it took her so long to begin with. I'm sure that Mugi confessed to her and Mio-sempai said yes. I mean how could I compete with someone like Mugi anyway? She's so pretty and kind, someone that would never do anything to hurt or scare Mio-sempai. When I saw that picture I was upset but not at them. I'm angry at myself for being too cowardly to come clean about my feelings. That I was so scared of rejection that I procrastinated and only found my courage when it was too late. Maybe Mio had liked Mugi for the longest time too. Perhaps it was best that I just stayed out of the way and not say anything."
Ui couldn't believe the words coming from Ui's mouth. Here she was basically blaming herself for her own misery when it was Mio who had hurt her to begin with. Sure it wasn't any of Ui's business to tell Mio who she could or couldn't date but there was an irrational anger welling inside of Ui towards the timid bassist.
Why should I be upset with Mio-sempai though? It isn't like she knew about Azusa liking her to begin with anyway. She has every right to date whoever she wants.
Then again it is because of Mio that Azusa is crying right now. I wonder if she knew that her decision to go out with Mugi-sempai would have this kind of repercussion. No of course not. She wouldn't know because she doesn't spend enough time with Azusa to truly get to know her.
I wonder what it is that she sees in you exactly Mio-sempai? You have done nothing to warrant her affections for you and instead treat her coolly, keeping her almost at arm's length at times. Could it be that you actually know and don't want to tell her anything? That by acting cool around her that she would just take the hint and just leave you alone?
How cruel. Just the type of thing a coward would do.
Maybe I'm wrong about all this and I'm just trying to pick at straws. Maybe you really don't mean her any harm Mio-sempai. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm upset with you and what's more.
You don't deserve someone like Azusa.
Ui took Azusa by the shoulder and turned her around so that she could look her in the eye. Those crimson irises were so full of self-loathing and blame it tore at Ui's heart to know that Azusa really thought herself guilty of her current predicament.
"I don't want to hear it anymore Azusa. Stop blaming yourself. The fact of the matter is that Mio-sempai made her choice. I know that it's hard for someone to find the courage to confess to the one they love. I know that if I were in your position I would feel exactly the same way. So stop telling yourself that you are to blame for all this because you aren't. If you want my frank opinion Azusa if Mio-sempai couldn't take the time to wait for you then she doesn't deserve you at all."
"Ui-chan…."
"Look I know that it's difficult for you right now but understand that I'm here for you. I may not be the best friend in the world but I am YOUR best friend regardless. I will be there for you no matter what."
Ui then drew Azusa in a tight hug holding the smaller girl close to her. Azusa responded in kind and placed her head on Ui's bosom as she started to weep, her pent up feelings of anger, guilt, blame and frustration all too much to hold now.
The younger Hirasawa sister gently glided her hands through Azusa's violet hair as she did her best to comfort her best friend. As she did she could not help but think that Azusa looked like a fallen cherub, stripped of its wings and forced to reside in this cruel reality.
She placed her hand underneath Azusa's chin and lifted it up. Azusa did not resist and simply allowed Ui to continue with her ministrations. Ui could not help but think Azusa looked solemnly beautiful, especially her eyes, those crimson irises glistening like rubies. Ui could not help but want to kiss her right then and there. She was so close and now, without Mio in the picture, there would be no guilt in betraying Azusa's feelings.
In some way Ui was almost happy that things turned out the way they did. It made her feel wretched to think that anything good could come at the expense of Azusa's happiness but that meant that she would have the opportunity to get even closer to Azusa than before.
Yet why do I feel this way about her? This is wrong. I shouldn't be desiring Azusa like that, not when she's suffering from her lost chance with Mio-sempai. Does that make me despicable if I tried to pursue Azusa romantically in her time of weakness?
I don't even know why I feel this way about her. Since when did it start? Last night when she slept next to me? No…as much as I hate to admit it that wasn't the first time. Then again….
What about big sis? Considering the way she always talks about Azusa, even giving her a special nickname, is it possible that she may like Azusa that way too? I don't know…she has never told me anything forward like that. If I try to claim Azusa now would I betray my big sister's affections as well? Do I run the risk in making her sad just like Mio did to Azusa today?
I don't know…I know nothing at all!
The only thing I do know is that I have fallen for you Azusa. I cannot deny these feelings any longer. I told myself that I would be content seeing you happy even if it were with Mio-sempai. However Mio has squandered her chance and here I am now with an opportunity that I cannot possibly pass up.
Will you hate me for asking you such a thing Azusa? Dare I risk our friendship at a chance to further deepen our relationship?
I'm sorry Azusa but I can't help it. The only thing I ask, if you do reject me, is to forgive me for being so selfish….
Ui looked over at Azusa once more and felt her heart race even faster. She was definitely in love with the smaller girl she was holding. There was nothing else that could be said about that. Ui steeled her resolve.
"Azusa-chan listen. Mio-sempai may not be here to make your wishes come true but if you will have me…then I'll do everything I can to make you happy. C…C…Can I be your girlfriend?"
At once Azusa felt shock by this sudden proclamation and looked over at Ui with a confused expression. She wasn't really disturbed by the question much more than that it was out of the blue. She pried herself from Ui's body and stood up as she tried to sort out what she was trying to feel at the moment.
"Ui…I….I don't know what to say."
"It's just that I'm sure that I have had feelings for you all this time and just thought that-"
The situation was beginning to sink in and already Azusa could not help but feel angry at Ui at the moment. Did Ui have to spring that question now, of all times? She didn't even think she was capable of doing something like this.
"Are you asking me right now while I'm still hung up on Mio-sempai? I can't believe you would actually dare to try and ask me out in my moment of weakness. H-How despicable of you Ui! How dare you! How dare you try to take advantage of me?"
Ui frowned as she heard Azusa's accusations but this was not altogether unexpected.
"Azusa I'm not trying to take advantage of you. I…I love you and I want to make you happy. If Mio-sempai won't do it then I'm more than willing to try!"
"Don't try to make yourself sound so noble Ui! Is this why you became friends with me in the first place? Just to wait for your opportunity? You're despicable you know that? I can't even believe I thought you the best of friends I had-"
The more Azusa spoke the more Ui got upset. While she was willing to accept the guitarist accusations she wasn't willing to let her demean their friendship like that. Ui did NOT become friends with Azusa just because she was trying to be an opportunist. She was friends with her because she genuinely enjoyed spending time with the petite girl.
"Do you honestly believe yourself to be so self-righteous that you wouldn't pass up on an opportunity like this? What if Mio-sempai was rejected by Mugi? Can you tell me, with a straight face, that you would simply just stand there and let her slip from your fingers? That you would squander your chance to finally let the one you love realize your feelings?"
Azusa did not know how to respond to that question. For a moment she stood there trying to process just what Ui had just said to her and so far there was no rebuttal forthcoming. Would she be willing to blow such an opportunity if Mio was in her position? While she could tell herself that she would never stoop so low there was no conviction to her self-assurances and doubt began to creep into Azusa's mind.
"I…I don't know."
"Look Azusa. Call me whatever you want but the fact is that I'm serious about this. I wouldn't jeopardize our friendship if this was something on a whim."
The petite guitarist could see the seriousness in Ui's eyes. It wasn't that she was totally opposed to the idea of going out with Ui it was just that she didn't feel exactly the same way.
Ui why are you putting me through all this? Don't you know that if I reject you it's just going to make me feel guilty about hurting your feelings? Yet I don't like you like that. I'm just barely coming to terms with Mio-sempai's relationship with Mugi and here you are asking me to be your girlfriend?
I can't deny everything that you have done for me Ui. You certainly deserve your chance for happiness. Would I be an ingrate for refusing your offer? By rejecting you would that mean that I have merely taken you for granted all this time?
I would never want anyone to go through the heartache of rejection. Would I be so monstrous, then, to refuse your advances Ui? Would I dare sacrifice your happiness for my own? Can I be so selfish?
No…I don't think I am.
Azusa was sure that she didn't love Ui, not in a romantic way at least. But she knew that she didn't have the heart to refuse her either. She just couldn't bear the thought of hurting Ui in that way because she still really cared for her. Azusa thought that perhaps her decision to be a bit too premature but she knew that the more she thought about it the more indecisive she would be and that would lead to trouble later. The guitarist steeled herself. She was going to commit to this only because she held Ui in high esteem. She wasn't sure how long their relationship would last or if it would be any good. But Azusa was willing to give Ui a chance because, in her opinion, she deserved it.
"Look Ui let me make something very clear. I don't feel the same way about you as you do for me but I'm not an ingrate either. You have done so much for me. If I am the person you know that will make you happy then I'm willing to give this relationship a chance because, despite everything, I still care for you."
Ui looked to be somewhat in disbelief.
"W-Wait a second Azusa-chan are you actually saying 'yes'?"
"O-Of course. What did it sound like to-"
Azusa didn't get a chance to finish as Ui suddenly kissed her right on the lips. This was unexpected but not altogether unpleasant. While Azusa was miffed that Ui would be so forward just a second after becoming an item she could not deny that she enjoyed the kiss. The taste of Ui's cherry chap flavored lips, the smell of her perfume and the feeling of her soft bosom pressing against her own. Without even thinking Azusa deepened the kiss much to Ui's surprise.
Maybe, just maybe, I can forget about Mio-sempai. If I give Ui all of my care and attention then maybe I can forget about her.
Mio-sempai...you stupid idiot.
Despite everything she said Azusa still could not help but feel the tears stream down her cheeks with feelings of betrayal due to her abandoning her love for Mio and feelings of guilt knowing that despite all of Ui's love for her it still wasn't enough to make her forget the pain.
Author's Note: You know I might have really rushed this relationship through. If it felt rushed then I apologize but I feel that this story really needs to get moving already. That being said Yui (who I uncharacteristically been ignoring) is going to start having a much bigger role in the story especially now with Azusa and Ui being an item. Fun times coming up…fun times lol. Hit me up people, let me know what you all think.