Mid-March

BPOV

"So how much longer are you going to make me wait?" Jacob asked as we finished eating dinner at the diner.

I shook my head and sighed, taking a moment to fiddle with the frill on the hem of my maternity shirt. It had been a week since the letter I'd sent Edward had been returned to me, letting him know that he would have a daughter. Jake knew my rule – no one was to find out any details about the baby until I'd let the father knew. A small smile crept across my face at the thought of my daughter and I absentmindedly rubbed my rounded belly yet again. I looked back up to Jake and my grin grew. "I'm having a girl."

Jacob jumped out of his chair and had me swinging in his arms instantly. "I'm so happy for you!" he yelled, swinging me in another big circle. Jacob's laugh was infectious and I found myself laughing along with someone for the first time in months.

"What the hell?!?!" came the shrieking voice from behind me. I'd know that voice anywhere. Jake lowered me to the ground and I turned around to come face to face with a shaking mad Alice Cullen. Jasper was standing behind her looking dumbstruck, but at least he didn't look mad, just very confused.

Jacob took a protective step in front of me, which honestly looked like I needed with as pissed off as Alice was at the moment. I looked down, shuffling my feet and willing myself not to cry. "Hi Alice," I mumbled.

"THIS," she wildly gestured between Jake and I, "THIS is why you abandoned us? This is why you DESTROYED my brother?"

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, still staring at my shoes as the tears began to fall.

"You're SORRY?!?" Alice was still screaming and by now, everyone in the diner was staring at the four of us. "You're sorry! Did you even bother to wait until Edward got your letter to jump into bed with Jake? You horrible cheap little slut! How could you be so heartless? And then you're stupid enough to get knocked up – What the hell? Do you have any idea what you have done to Edward? Oh my god, this is going to kill him. This is going to absolutely kill him . . ."

Alice was still rambling on when Jacob spoke up. "If it hadn't been for your worthless brother she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with!" Jake screamed back, prompting Jasper to take a protective step in front of Alice. I had refused to tell anyone who the father was, and while most of the town was convinced that I'd had a one night stand in Seattle and couldn't even remember the name of the random guy they were assuming I slept with, Jake knew me better. I would never confirm it for him, but Jake wasn't stupid, and he knows me.

I dared to look up at this point. Alice's face was bright red, tears streaming down her cheeks. I had never seen Alice look so angry, or hurt. The sight was too much. I reached for Jake as I felt the familiar darkness cover my eyes.

When I woke up, I found myself lying in my bed, my comforter tucked tightly around me. I was still in the maternity clothes I had worn to the diner with Jake. I glanced toward the window to see a few rays of morning light starting to peak through. I felt stiff and dirty, still feeling the dried tear tracks from the sobs that had taken over me the previous night. With a great amount of effort I pulled myself out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, intent on a nice calming shower. I made it halfway through before the sobs racked my body again. I couldn't shake the broken angry look on Alice's face and the harsh words she had screeched at me. She had been my best friend for so long. I'd often wondered what Edward had told his family about our situation. It was glaringly obvious now that whatever he had told them, it had not been the truth. I'm not sure what I was expecting him to have told them, especially since I hadn't heard one word from him in the four months since I'd told him I was pregnant, but I really hadn't been prepared for the hatred and venom in Alice's voice. I managed to pull myself together enough to rinse the shampoo out of my hair and stumble back into my room. As much as I wanted to hate Edward for doing this to me, I never could. I still loved him too much, and deep in my heart I knew this was my choice too. I had told Edward I wasn't going to ruin his future or take any of his money. He was going to physically be a father, but I wasn't going to require him to be a dad. I quickly threw on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, intent on climbing right back into bed. As I sat down, I reached over to my desk chair and pulled the grey 'Forks High Baseball' sweatshirt over to me, quickly sliding it on. It was huge on me, even with my ever expanding belly. It had been Edward's workout sweatshirt his senior year of high school and still faintly smelled of him. I had borrowed it one night the summer after he graduated and never returned it to him. I pulled the material up to my nose and sniffed, igniting a fresh round of tears. I fell asleep a short while later, hugging his shirt tightly to my body and repeatedly mumbling his name.

EPOV

I had been unknowingly staring at a blank tv screen for I don't know how long. I don't know why I ever agreed to come back here. It hurt too much. Everywhere I looked there were too many painful memories. Bella and I had been together for so long, everywhere I looked held something of her. Even though Esme had gone through the house and attempted to remove those type of things, their absence made it worse. The space on the wall that had held the photo of us from prom, Bella's graduation picture that had been next to the rest of ours, she was always part of the family. Then there were the memories Esme couldn't attempt to hide without demolishing the house and starting all over. The number of hours Bella and I had laid curled up on this very couch watching movies with my family. This very couch where I had kissed her for the first time, and many times after. The music sheets that remain in my piano bench that had Bella's Lullaby written on them, along with the words that Bella had so carefully written in the corner. There was one note that had been bothering me and I had wanted to look over the music one day but when I pulled it out, my notes weren't the only thing written on the pages. In the top corner Bella had carefully written 'I Love You Edward' with a small heart under it. That small gesture had meant so much to me.

I was pulled out of my reverie by the slamming of the front door and Alice and Jasper arguing. I had never heard Alice yell at Jasper the way she was now. Don't get me wrong, the girl could yell and throw a hissy fit with the best of them, but she NEVER yelled at Jasper. Something was definitely wrong. And if I'd thought it was bad when I heard the yelling, I knew it was horrific when I saw my sister's face. When she saw me she immediately went silent and threw her tiny body around me, gripping on for dear life. My arms instinctively went around her small form, hugging her tightly. I looked up to Jasper in hopes of an answer as to what was wrong.

"You'd better sit down Edward," was the only response I got as he hung his head. No one said anything as I led Alice back to the living room and sat us back down on the couch. I looked back to Jasper, desperately needing to know what was going on. "We were going to go to dinner at the diner and we ran into Bella." I sucked in a sharp breath. "Edward, she wasn't alone. She's with Jacob Black now." I shook my head, trying to displace the thoughts of Bella with Jacob, or anyone else for that matter. "It gets worse," he continued, "She's pregnant." With that, the few shards that were left of my heart imploded. Any thought of her ever changing her mind and deciding she wanted me again vanished. She'd created a whole other life without me. I sat there, continuing to hold Alice, but I couldn't have told you anything else that was said. Once Alice had calmed down I passed her over to Jasper and muttered that I needed to get out of the house. With that, I was in the car and on the road. I didn't pay any attention to what direction I was driving, I just needed to get away. By 2am I was passed San Francisco and decided I needed to turn back home. I called Ali to tell her that I was okay and heading back and turned the car around. By the time I'd reached Forks I'd made up my mind that I needed to talk to Bella. I needed some closure.

I pulled up to the Swan residence around 9am, having not slept in over 24 hours. I'm sure I looked like death warmed over. After three knocks Charlie answered the door. He looked like he had aged 10 years in the last four months. I couldn't tell if he was more surprised or angry to see me, but I think anger was winning out. "Hello Chief Swan," I started, "I was wondering if I could speak with Bella for a moment." Charlie seemed to study me for a moment and I guess my haggard look might have actually helped me in this instance.

Charlie lifted up a finger and shook it right in my face, "If you upset her, I will not hesitate to haul you out of here and lock you up in jail."

I nodded my head and slid past Charlie and up the stairs toward Bella's room. I knocked quietly. No response. I knocked a little louder. Still no response. "Bella, it's Edward." I called. "Bella, I'm going to come in." I gently opened the door and gasped at the sight in front of me. Bella was curled up on her bed in my sweatshirt, tear stains evident across her still reddened cheeks. Her hair was splayed out around her and her arms were gently wrapped around her obviously pregnant belly. Even with the tear stains and pregnant with another man's child, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I leaned down next to her and before I could stop myself, ran a finger along the side of her cheek. I just had to touch her.

"Edward," she mumbled in her sleep. My non-existent heart leapt in my chest at hearing my name fall from her lips. I had to stop that, it was just going to make this that much harder.

"Bella," I called again, gently shaking her shoulder. She stirred then and slowly opened her eyes. When she saw me sitting there before her she jumped so suddenly that she almost fell of the back of the bed. Even in my destroyed state, I couldn't help but chuckle at her startled face.

Tears immediately sprung to her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked shakily, her eyes never leaving my face.

I looked down, unable to bear the hurt look on her face. "Alice told me about yesterday."

Bella snorted and a look of understanding crossed her face. "So you came here to make sure I'm not going to tell your family about the baby."

I shook my head as another pang ran through my chest. It was so much to hear her actually acknowledge the child. I scoffed, "Pretty sure Alice already knows about the baby."

Bella shook her head sadly, more tears leaking out. "I didn't tell her it's yours if that's what you're worried about. I haven't told anyone."

My eyes shot back to her face, not believing what I was hearing. "Wh-What?!?" I stuttered.

Bella shot me a confused look. "I haven't told anyone that you are the father." She paused for a moment, "I promised you that you wouldn't have to be involved if you didn't want to be, that includes not being guilted into it by your family."

Nothing was making sense and my head was spinning. My lack of sleep was not helping my brain function either. "Bella, I haven't heard one word from you since you sent me the letter breaking up with me."

Bella shook her head, obviously as confused as I was. "Break up with YOU? I have sent you a letter every month since you left at Thanksgiving. You sent them all back."

I shook my head, beyond confused. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out the letter that I had carried around since the day I had received it. I held it out to Bella. She tentatively accepted it. Bella opened the letter and read through it, the sharp V forming between her eyebrows. She gasped a few times as she read it. When she was done she looked back at me, more tears shining in her eyes, and something else . . . possibly hope? "Edward," she started, her voice already breaking repeatedly, "I didn't write this."

Bella leaned across her bed to the bedside table. She opened the drawer and pulled out several envelopes, tied together with a light green ribbon. With a shaky hand, she handed the envelopes to me. "Go ahead," she whispered, nodding toward my hands.

I pulled the top one out, it was dated November 28th and was obviously in Bella's handwriting. I started reading, occasionally glancing up at Bella's face. The tears had slowed and she was chewing on her bottom lip. I couldn't believe what I was reading as I flipped through each of the letters she had handed me, the most recent dated a week and a half ago, telling me that we were going to have a daughter. I shook my head, so many questions swirling in my mind, but most of them could wait, right now there were very few I HAD to have the answers to. "What about you and Jacob?"

Bella scoffed, "Jacob is the same as he has ALWAYS been. A dear friend. Alice just walked into the diner as I told Jacob about the sonogram results." She blew out a deep breath. "I wouldn't tell anyone anything I'd found out until I was sure you knew – I thought you should be the first to know. I waited to tell Jake that it is a girl until my last letter was returned." Bella looked down at her lap again as she finished, fresh tears falling.

"So . . . so . . " I couldn't get through the sentence. I wanted to hope, but was terrified to have the few remains of my heart shattered. "You still wa . . want me?"

Bella's head jerked up so she could look at me. She tilted her head to the side a little bit and let out a shaky laugh. "Of course I still want you, you stupid boy." She reached forward and pushed against my shoulder, half playfully.

That was all it took – I lunged for her, pulling her into my arms and peppering kisses all over her face. I could hear the smile in Bella's laugh and felt the happy tears that were running down her face. She hungrily returned my kisses, her hands knotting in my hair, pulling me closer. We didn't break apart until breathing became an absolute necessity, and even then our arms were wrapped so tightly around one another you couldn't have fit a toothpick between us. "I've missed you so much," she sobbed into my shoulder.

I ran my hand down the back of her hair, attempting to comfort her. "I've missed you too." I placed a quick kiss above her ear, hugging her tightly to me. "I didn't know, Bella. I swear I didn't know. If I'd known I would've been here with you every step of the way." I pulled back to look at her. "I will be here for you. For you and our daughter. I know this will take a lot to work out, but we will work it out together." I took a deep breath, starting to think clearly for the first time since Bella had said she still wanted to be with me. Bella still had two years of undergrad school left, plus she'd wanted to get her Master's. I had a year left at Dartmouth before I would start med school, I could probably get it done in six months if I took a really heavy load. But even that was thinking too far in advance. I still had to go back to New Hampshire to finish this semester. "When are you due?"

Bella smiled at me, her tears softening. "May 30th."

The gears started turning again in my head. My last class was May 12th but I had finals the next week. The soonest I could get home would be around the 19th. In time, but it was cutting it closer than I was comfortable with. "When are your finals over?" The University of Washington usually got out of school around the same time I did. Bella looked back down at her lap again, unwilling to look at me. She didn't answer my question and suddenly appeared uncomfortable. "Bella," I started, reaching a hand out to place a finger under her chin and lifting it so that she was looking at me again.

"I couldn't deal with all of this alone," she started, her voice cracking again. "And I couldn't afford it. I moved back here before Christmas. I've been working two jobs so I might have enough to get an apartment and get out of Charlie's hair after the baby is born."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing – Bella had dropped out of school? But Bella loved school. She had so many plans, and not a one of them included not completing her degree. And for money of all things – I could've given her whatever she'd needed. I took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. "Well, that stops right now," I started. Bella started to argue, but I held my hand up to quiet her, "I know you don't like to accept things from other people, but this isn't just for you anymore, this is for our daughter." Bella was stubborn to no end when it came to accepting things from others, but I didn't think she would do anything that would put our child at risk if she didn't have to. "You can't tell me that the doctor approves of you working 60 hours a week." Bella shook her head, agreeing with me. "Okay, well, it's too late to do anything about this semester, I suppose we could stay in Forks until the baby is born and then find an apartment in Seattle this summer. We can get you re-enrolled this fall." I stood from the bed, releasing Bella from my hold for the first time and started pacing across the room. "I can probably get my application in to get transferred fast enough that I could get in this fall. This could work."

"Edward!" Bella interrupted as I was continuing to ramble on my potential plans for our future. I haulted my pacing for a moment to look at her. "You are not leaving Dartmouth."

I stared at her, uncomprehending. Of course I was leaving Dartmouth. There was no way I was leaving my girlfriend and my daughter halfway across the nation just so I could go to some fancy school, especially some fancy school I'd already considered leaving. Bella and I argued for over an hour on what to do with our futures. We were both being stubborn, but both of our arguments were trying to do what we thought was best for the other. We finally came to an agreement, since Bella insisted I had to graduate from Dartmouth, she and the baby would move to New Hampshire with me for the next semester. The University of Washington offered enough online classes that she could get away with completing one semester from across the country. It wasn't the perfect scenario, but it put Bella and I back together and Bella back in school. Once I graduated from Dartmouth, Bella and I would move back to Washington. Bella could continue her work on her English Lit degree and I could attend U-Dub's Med School.