Episode 13: Pegging by Egging
Chris: Last time on Total, Drama, Revenge of the Island!
(Camera shows campers kayaking)
Chris: Our campers kayaked to Boney Island… with the intent of capturing a mutant creature and returning to me.
(Camera shows crazy mishaps and explosions)
Chris: And after a bunch of crazy mishaps and explosions… Macaria somehow won… (sob) ruining my prediction.
(Camera shows Kailey boarding Plane of Shame)
Chris: And in the end, Kailey, finished last in the sudden death challenge, so she took the Plane of Shame outta here! Who will win this challenge? Will it be as dangerous as the last? And how will Aaliyah start her giant pact off? Come after the break to find out on TOTAL, DRAMA, REVENGE OF PAHKITEW ISLAND!
(Come back)
(Camera shows girls cabin)
Aaliyah: It's just us three girls left in the final eight. We need to stick together to win.
Kaelyn: I don't know…
Macaria: To be honest Aaliyah, the only one out of us three who's made enemies is you!
Kaelyn: Unfortunately, she's telling the truth.
Aaliyah: Ugh, but it's true, we're going to end up going out one by one!
Kaelyn: Maybe…
Macaria: I don't know…
Aaliyah: Ugh! You guys are so stupid!
(Camera flips to Boys Cabin)
Satchel: You guys do know that I'm going to win this right? I mean, there's no way I'm going to go out on a sudden death challenge, and Aaliyah will be voted out next! We all hate her!
(Other guys awkwardly glance at each other)
Silas: I wouldn't be so confident if I were you Satchel…
(Satchel gets up, trying to use his height advantage on Silas to intimidate him)
Silas: I'm not scared of you.
Satchel: You should be… I could snap you like a twig.
(Jack gets up and stands next to Silas, then Jason stands on Silas's other Silase)
Jack: You know man, sometimes you can be a real jerk.
Jason: He's right dude.
Satchel (raises fist): You're going to get it…
(Ambrose rises up and pulls Satchel's arms back)
Ambrose: You don't want to do that Satchel. I know you think you're the biggest, strongest, and best here, but there's going to be consequences if you punch him. I thought this would just be a small argument, so I stayed out of it, but you're pushing it. Sit down, before you put Silas down.
Satchel: Why should I listen to you?
Ambrose: Because if you punch one of us the other three will beat you up.
Silas: It's four to one odds Satchel.
Jack: You don't want to take your chances.
Jason: You're so not coming to my after-competition party.
Satchel: Fine, fine…
(Satchel walks away)
Chris (through loudspeaker): Campers, report to the kitchen!
Silas: We just had breakfast, why is he calling us to the kitchen?
Ambrose: Probably for another challenge.
(Campers head to kitchen)
(Time skip)
(Camera shows Chris and Chef waiting at the kitchen, with baskets filled with...eggs on the table?)
Aaliyah: Eww! Why are there eggs in baskets there?
Ambrose: Are we making omelettes? I love cooking!
Silas: Satchele!
Satchel: Cooking? Man, you guys are so lame!
Kaelyn: That's not a very nice thing to say!
Jason: Yeah! But some omelettes would be nice. I'm hungry!
Macaria: We just had breakfast!
Jason: I'm a growing boy!
Chef: Shut up!
(Immediately campers quiet)
Chris: Sorry guys, we're actually not going to making omelettes! We're going to be chucking eggs at each other! Actually, I'm not sorry! This is way more fun!
Open Confessional
Silas: I noticed something about Chris. So far he's been a lot less devious than the previous seasons. But I feel as if he's starting to change back to normal. I hope this isn't true.
Jason (sobs): But I wanted those omelettes…
Satchel: Throwing eggs at each other? Sounds like a challenge made for me!
Aaliyah: What is it with these challenges? Throwing eggs at each other? Are we cavemen?
Kaelyn: Though I probably shouldn't say this, I have to. Some guys on this show have been flirting with me, and I kind of like it, but am even more creeped out.
Close Confessional
Satchel: So how do I win this competition?
Kaelyn: Satchel, must you be so confident?
Satchel: Yeah, ba-, I mean, Kaelyn!
Open Confessional
Kaelyn: See? He was probably going to say something like bae, babe, or baby!
Close Confessional
Aaliyah: How do you know that you're going to win?
Satchel: Because I can whup the (Bleep) out of anyone here.
Silas: You wAaliyah try? (Going towards Satchel, and kicks him in the stomach, sending him reeling)
Satchel: Oh you know that I want to… (Punches Silas, sending him flying)
(Satchel pounces on Silas, delivering blow after blow, Silas fights back with a few punches)
Jack (dives on top of Satchel): Get off of him!
(Satchel shoves Jack over and kicks him in the groin)
Jack: OUCH!
Kaelyn: Guys, stop! Jack?
Macaria: Oh my gosh, are you okay?
(Jason dive bombs Satchel)
Satchel: That's a mistake buddy!
(Satchel grabs Jason and flips him over)
Jason: My… back…
Silas: You're dead!
(Silas jumps back up and nails Satchel with a right hook when Satchel recovers and lifts Silas by the neck)
Ambrose: Okay, this is going too far, don't do it Satchel!
Aaliyah: This has escalated quickly.
Satchel: (staring at Ambrose)
Ambrose (staring at Satchel): Don't drop him or hurt him. Just be calm.
Satchel: Calm? He attacked me first?
Macaria: You've bullied him and were arrogant… again.
Jack: Just let go of Silas!
Satchel: Okay! (lets go of Silas)
All campers except Satchel and Silas: Silas!
(Silas falls to the ground)
(Jason, Jack, and Ambrose rush Satchel)
Kaelyn: Should we stop this?
Macaria: Yes!
(Kaelyn and Macaria rush over to the brawl)
Chris: Aaliyah, aren't you going to stop the brawl?
Aaliyah: I'm saving my energy for the challenge! And why aren't you stopping the brawl? Chef and the remaining interns could do it!
Chris: Are you kidding me? This is great for ratings!
(Satchel delivers cheap shot after cheap shot)
Jack: You're going to play cheap?
Jason: Okay, if you want to play cheap, then here it is!
(Jack and Jason push away Kaelyn and Macaria)
Kaelyn: Wait-
Macaria: What are you going to do?
Ambrose: Stay out of this please. This isn't your fight.
Kaelyn: It isn't yours either!
Ambrose: Now it is! Mr. Cheap Shot over here made it that.
Jack: Now we're going to play cheap!
Jason: Hold him back!
Ambrose: Do we have to play cheap?
Satchel: (Bleep) you guys and your family!
Ambrose: Okay, now you deserve it!
(Jason and Jack hold Satchel back, putting his arms behind his back)
Satchel: Wait, I'm sorry! Can't we just-
(Ambrose slams Satchel with his left fist)
Satchel: Ugh…
(Ambrose gives Satchel a left hook, then a right uppercut)
Ambrose: He's had enough...
(Jason and Jack let go of Satchel, and Ambrose walks away)
(Satchel leaps up and dives on Ambrose)
(Brawl starts up again)
Chris: Oh, we're running out of time now… Chef, you and the interns stop this fight!
Chef: Okay, Chris! (Grumbles: I always do the dirty work…)
Chris: What was that?
Chef: Nothing! Just planning a way to break up this brawl.
(Meanwhile, Silas climbs on top of Jason and divebombs Satchel)
Aaliyah: Wow! This is getting really serious!
Chris: I know! Like the WWE!
Chef: Guys… stop… (lifts Ambrose up)
Chef: Wow, for such an athletic dude you're so lightl! For a guy at least!
Kaelyn: Hey! Girls are tall too!
Macaria: That is true!
Chef: You're both shorter than him!
Aaliyah: I'm his height!
Chef: You're tall!
Aaliyah: And he's short?
Chef: For an athlete, yeah!
Silas: At least he's not as small as me? And do you mean small people can't be athletes?
Chef: I'm just trying to break up the fight!
Chris: You're about to start a new one man. This is great!
Chef: MAGGOTS! SHUT UP, STOP FIGHTING, AND PAY ATTENTION!
(Campers freeze, and then get up quickly)
Satchel: Jeez man, you need to chill.
Chef: Do you want me to show u chill?
Satchel: What does that mean?
Chris: Oh… we can't show them the chill yet Chef. That's for a later season.
Chef: (...) Okay.
Chris: So as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, we will be participating in a two-part challenge today. Each of you will receive a basket filled with eggs. These eggs are colored differently. Each of you will be assigned a color. Chef?
Chef: Macaria, you'll get yellow. Kaelyn, you'll receive green. Aaliyah, you'll receive red. Silas, you'll receive blue. Jack, you'll receive brown. Jason, you'll receive purple. Ambrose, you'll receive orange. And Satchel, you'll receive pink.
Satchel: May I request a color change?
Chris and Chef: No.
Silas (mutters): Serves you right.
Satchel: What was that?
Silas: Nothing, nothing…
Chris: Your job is to hide those eggs somewhere on this island.
Aaliyah: Do we have to hide them all in the Satchele place?
Chris: Yes! Now, Begin!
(Campers go off to hide their eggs)
Open Confessional
Kaelyn: My eggs will be harder to see in the forest since they're green.
Satchel: Great, how am I supposed to hide pink eggs? They're pink! For crying out (bleeping) loud, they stand out! I'm certain that Chef wants me to lose.
Close Confessional
(Camera flips to Silas)
Silas: Okay, blue eggs… Obviously, I should hide these in the water…
(Silas walks over to the water and chucks the eggs off the docks)
Silas: Nobody will find these!
(Camera shows Satchel watching him)
Satchel: Huh, that's where he hid them. Maybe I should chuck my eggs into the water too! But then he would accuse me of stealing his idea. I can't have that. I'll hide them in the kitchen.
(Camera flips to Kaelyn, who's walking out of the forest)
Kaelyn: That was easy! I wish all the challenges were this simple.
(Macaria walks up, coming from the direction of the cabins)
Macaria: What about the second part of the challenge? Where we have to throw eggs at each other?
Kaelyn: That won't be easy, but hey! Nothing life threatening!
Macaria: I guess…
(Aaliyah comes up to the two girls)
Aaliyah: Guys, come on! Help me vote Ambrose out!
Macaria: I don't know…
Kaelyn: Neither do I…
Aaliyah: He's a threat! We need to eliminate him! I'll stop pestering you if you guys say yes.
Kaelyn: Okay then!
Macaria: I'm fine with that!
Open Confessional
Aaliyah: They better stick to their word.
Kaelyn: I don't feel good about this.
Macaria: I don't know what to do anymore.
Close Confessional
(Camera flips to Ambrose)
Ambrose: I like the color orange, but it's not the best color for hiding… Wait, I know!
(Ambrose goes to his cabin)
Ambrose: Dang it! I have no paint. I'll just have to hide these in this cabin then.
(Camera flips to Jack, who's coming out of the forest)
Jack: I obviously hid my brown eggs in the forest. Easy as pie.
(Camera flips to Jason)
Jason: I'll just chuck my eggs into the forest randomly.
(Jason throws eggs away)
Jason: Done.
Chris (through loudspeaker): Campers! Everyone has finished hiding their eggs! Report to the campfire for instructions on the second part of the challenge!
(Camera flips to Chris)
Chris: This is starting to heat up! Who will win this challenge? Will Satchel go out today? And what on earth was Jason thinking?
Jason (from distance): HEY!
Chris: Come back after this quick break to find out on TOTAL, DRAMA, REVENGE OF PAHKITEW ISLAND!
(Come back)
(Camera shows campers and Chris at the campfire ceremony)
Chris: You have all hidden your eggs. Now comes the fun part.
Jason: Fun?
Aaliyah: That's never a good thing when Chris says it.
Chris: You all get to chuck eggs at each other! I call it "Pegging by Egging"!
Macaria: Uh, Chris, I hate to break it to you, but… We hid our eggs. We have nothing to throw at each other.
Chris: That's right!
Kaelyn: Wait, what? Do you understand what we're saying? I don't know if you do…
Chris: Your job is not only to throw eggs at each other, you have to FIND the eggs first, and then throw them at each other! The only catch is that you can't throw your own eggs at each other, or you'll automatically be disqualified.
Open Confessional:
Satchel: Luckily for me, I'm gifted in the art of finding stuff.
Silas: Thank god you have to find the eggs first… I needed that.
Close Confessional
(Time skip to 30 minutes later, where campers are standing by forest)
Chris (through loudspeaker): Okay campers, go!
(Campers all start running in different directions)
(Camera flips to Jason)
Jason: I'm going to look for eggs in the kitchen, I bet there'll be some in there.
(Jason heads to kitchen, and notices bunches of food around)
Jason: All this food, and none of it contains peanuts, which I'm allergic to!
(Jason begins eating the food, and as he opens a box of cookies, pink colored eggs come flowing out)
(Camera flips to Aaliyah)
Aaliyah: Where would these people hide eggs? I'll go check in the forest.
(Camera flips to Macaria)
Macaria: I'm absolutely certain that I can find Satchel's pink eggs. I just need to search around.
(Camera flips to Silas)
Silas: Okay, well, I'm not the best thrower. But… I'm great at finding and discovering new things. I just need to find all of the eggs and keep them for myself!
(Camera flips to Chris)
Chris: Wow, this is taking a long time. They're really good at hiding things…
Chef: We're running out of time. The producers won't be happy.
Chris: Let's give them 20 more minutes Chef. I'm feeling generous today! Will anybody find the eggs? Should we have planned this better? And when will I stop feeling generous? Come back after this break to find out on Total, Drama, Revenge of Pahkitew Island!
(Come back)
Chris (through loudspeaker): Okay, it's been 20 minutes and nobody has found any eggs. Everybody report to the cafeteria for a quick change of plans.
(Camera flips to Jason, who has just finished eating a cake)
Jason: Hey! I found some eggs! I'm going to hold onto this to see what I can do.
(Fast Forward 20 minutes)
(Camera shows campers waiting in cafeteria, Chris and Chef walk in)
Chris: Okay, since none of you actually found any eggs, we've decided that we're each going to give you a basket of 12 eggs each.
(Chef passes everyone a basket of eggs)
Chris: Now, on my signal, you will have to throw these eggs at each other. If you're hit by an egg, you're out. Now… BEGIN!
(In a seeming quick rapidfire, all the campers launch eggs at each other, until only Ambrose is left)
Ambrose: What, I won? YEAH!
(Jason walks in, holding pink eggs)
Jason: What's going on?
(Everyone freezes, and turns towards Jason)
Jason: It started?
(Jason throws eggs which bounces off of Chef, off a table, down from a lamp, and miraculously hits Ambrose)
(Silence)
Chris: AND I HAVE NO IDEA ON WHAT JUST TRANSPIRED, AS IT WENT BY SO QUICKLY, BUT Jason WINS!
Ambrose: What? Are you kidding me? He wasn't here when this started?
Satchel: Shut it Goldie.
Ambrose: I just have one blond streak of hair! And one silver streak!
Chris: Report back to the campfire for the voting results.
(Time skip)
(Camera shows Jason and Aaliyah talking)
Aaliyah: We have to vote Ambrose out.
Jason: Though I'm not fully convinced, I'll agree with you. He did overreact today when I won the challenge.
Aaliyah: Yeah, about that… You know what? Never mind. But I convinced Satchel and Kaelyn to vote out Ambrose.
Jason: How'd you do that?
Aaliyah: Bribery. And when it came to Kaelyn, I just convinced her that Ambrose was a threat. And I told her that if she didn't vote him off, I would personally make sure that she would be eliminated.
Jason: Harsh.
(Time skip)
(Camera shows campers and Chris sitting at the campfire)
Chris: When I call your name, you get the unfortunate, I mean, fortunate luck to stay on this show for at least one more episode. Jason, you won today, so you've been granted immunity. The others who are safe are… Kaelyn, Macaria, Silas, Jack, and Aaliyah.
(Chris passes out marshmallows)
Chris: You both are on the hot seat for being severe threats to win the game… Satchel and Ambrose… But, the one who is going out… is Satchel.
Silas: YES! HE'S GONE!
Jack: *cough* Silas, he's still here…
Silas: Oh… Uh… I mean… God bless your soul.
Satchel: Why, you little- (lunges at Silas, and grabs him by the neck)
Ambrose: How quickly you've seen to forgot this morning.
(Jack and Jason, approach Satchel)
Satchel: Fine, you know what? This show stinks. But I'll be back. Chris, Chef, you better make another season. Cause I'm going to come back even stronger.
(Time skip)
(Camera shows girls cabin)
Aaliyah: Who did you guys vote for? Satchel or Ambrose? I voted for Ambrose.
Kaelyn: Satchele… you know because you told me to!
Macaria: I didn't vote off either of those two.
Aaliyah: Then who did you vote for?
Macaria: I'll decline to answer that.
Aaliyah: Okay… So, Kaelyn and I voted for Ambrose. I know that Satchel and Jason did too. That's 4 votes. Macaria didn't vote for either of the two. And Silas, Jack, and Ambrose all voted for Satchel. But that would be 4 votes for Ambrose, 3 votes for Satchel, and 1 vote for another person… Macaria, are you sure that you didn't vote for either of the two?
Macaria: Yes! I am smart enough to know who I voted for!
Kaelyn: But then how was Ambrose not voted off? There's something fishy going on here.
Aaliyah: I'm going to take a night walk.
(Aaliyah leaves the room)
Macaria: I voted for her.
Kaelyn: I'm not surprised. The only reason why I voted Ambrose off was because she blackmailed me to.
(Time skip)
(Camera flips to Aaliyah and Jason, who are walking nearby the woods)
Aaliyah: You did vote for Ambrose, right?
Jason: Yeah! I thought he would be eliminated.
Aaliyah: Something strange is going on here…
Jason: It's fishy, but we'll figure it out later.
Aaliyah: Don't you almost get the feeling that someone is cheating?
Jason: But who?
Aaliyah: Ambrose.
(Camera shows leaves rustling, and a figure emerging)
Jason: Who's there? Step back! I have a… uh… yeah, hopefully that's not a bear, or we're screwed.
(Camera shows Ambrose)
Ambrose: Relax Jason, it's just me.
Jason: Ambrose? How funny, we were just talking about you.
Aaliyah: Jason!
Jason: Talking about how awesome you are!
Ambrose: Really? I heard something else.
Jason: It's true!
Aaliyah: Jason… give it up. Did you cheat?
Ambrose: No… I just slighted the odds in my favor.
Aaliyah: Satchel should have been here…
Jason: So… it's true? I wasn't completely sold yet, but now… I see.
Aaliyah: Who else have you eliminated?
Ambrose: Satchel, Corwin, Magnolia, Bridgette, and Cody.
Jason: We'll… we'll tell everyone! You'll be eliminated next episode, right away! I can't believe I believed in you!
Aaliyah: I didn't expect it at first either. Ambrose… the jig is up. We'll tell everyone.
Ambrose: Who will believe you? Nobody. Aaliyah, you're viewed as the most evil person in the show, and Jason, you're an awesome person, but do you have any proof?
Jason: No…
Aaliyah: We'll find a way.
Ambrose: You'll have two episodes to find proof.
Aaliyah: Only two? There's more episodes than that left!
Ambrose: Not for you guys.
Jason: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Ambrose: Jason and Aaliyah… next to be eliminated.
(Ambrose walks away, smiling)
Ambrose (as he walks away): You know, you guys were great players. No hard feelings, it's just for the prize.
(Ambrose walks out of the area)
(Camera flips back to Aaliyah and Jason)
Aaliyah: I still have the episode schedule. I know when each challenge is scheduled.
Jason: Use it! We need to know how much time we have!
Aaliyah: Jason… I shouldn't have dragged you into this.
Jason: I can help though.
Aaliyah: But you do know I'm mainly doing this because he's a threat, right?
Jason: Of course.
(Camera flips to Chris)
(Camera shows Chris hiding a CD)
Chris: This worked great in All Stars. Let's see if they discover Ambrose like they discovered Mal.
(As Chris walks away, chuckling, camera zooms in on CD, which is titled- "Ambrose's greatest hits")