"Izzy"

I look up at Amanda, "sorry did I zone out again?"

Its three days since we met in the coffee shop and I have stayed at her place every night. She's worried about me …. I'm worried about me. I've felt like this before, after Edward left I was catatonic, and I can feel myself slipping back into that state, I think she can see it.

'Yep, look Bella you know that I love you, and try to remember that this comes from a very loving place, but snap out of it!'

I give her a confused stare

'Look he is an absolute bastard, a twat, a bottom dweller'

'a bottom dweller?' I repeat, 'What have you been watching?'

'Not the point, Iz.' She sounds exasperated. 'We have both spent the past few days deciding that men are really all a bunch of crap and we tend to go for the crappiest of the bunch!'

I nod in agreement

'Now is the time to go forth with this knowledge'

Again I look at her in confusion.

'We've got sad, we have gotten mad, and now it is time to get even!'

'Oh I don't know Mands, it's not really my style, I don't think I would feel comfortable, I think it would be best if I just buried my head in the sand and wait for death to come get me'

'So, that's not happening'

'Amanda….'

'Nope, Izzy, stop being an idiot'

'Thanks'

'Well you are, here you are with all the power..'

'How do I have all the power'

'HE came back, HE told you he loved you all along, HE wants you'

'HE left, HE only came back because of his family, HE…'

'You don't know that'

'Ah c'mon, it is obvious'

'And anyway why he is here is not important, he told you he still loves you and he regrets leaving, you my dear have all the power, so find your inner goddess and use it!'

I decide to ignore her clichéd way of getting the point across and ask 'How?'

'Well first off, I would have a shower, cos seriously, your starting to stink my apartment out!' She smiles at me. 'Then go back to work and start living your life, then the opportunities will just appear!'

I nod affirmatively and get up to go in the shower. I know that I haven't known her that long really but I trust her, I know she is right.

Two days later and I have just finished the day shift. It is 6pm and I am walking home. It will be a quick pit stop at home because I am meeting Rebecca and Amanda for food and drinks, all part of the getting my life back plan.

When I get home, I get a feeling somewhere deep inside, and I know that he is here. I walk in and I find him at my kitchen table, again.

'You know if you like that chair so much you can just take it with you' I tell him, trying to keep my tone light.

He just looks at me.

'Was there anything in particular you wanted, or did you just drop round to glare?' I ask, again in the same light tone, yay me.

'I was worried about you?'

'That's new'

'Your still not ready to talk about this sensibly'

'Would depend on your definition of the word sensibly'

Somehow I seem to be calmer, to be able to hold my own in conversation.

'Bella, I have tried to give you space, to stay away from you.'

'Its been five days Edward'

'Long days and long nights'

'You managed well enough for 6 years before that'

'Barely'

I just shake my head

'Bella, I need you to understand'

'I need you to leave,' I tell him, unwanted emotion climbing into my voice, as I look straight into his eyes.

'Bella…'

'Edward you hurt me, five days isn't enough space, I need you to leave me alone'

'I am going to make this right Bella, I am going to get you back'

'Somethings just can't be saved Edward, sometimes life twists them so much that they are beyond saving, and sometimes it isn't life that does the twisting.' I look at him imploring him to understand. 'Now if you don't mind showing yourself out, I need to get changed'

I walk into my bedroom and don't look back, but I know the moment he leaves, I feel it. But I realise that I don't just feel the empty hollowness that I usually feel, I also feel a tiny bit stronger.