Author's note:I'm now lucky enough to have my three favorite fanfic buddies looking this over before I post. :) We all are human so we might miss a typo here or there, so please forgive us. But its still an incredibly empowering thing to have your three writing besties urging you on with every chapter. To Jen, Sabrina, and Jaimee- my utmost thanks. :) (Especially to Sabrina who doesn't even do this fandom!She's never seen an ep, folks.)

Shocking as it may seem to you all, I still don't own anything.

Post Ep for Recovery.

It was unnervingly quiet. The drops from the evening drizzle glistened like diamonds and rubies, reflecting the traffic lights. The swish of the wiper blades against the windshield provided a steady rhythm for the drive.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, trying to still his nerves, but Deeks knew the whites of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel gave him away.

He felt her fingertips run over the back of the one hand he had rested on the center console between them. He was sure she could practically feel the tension vibrate off of him as she twined their fingers together.

She squeezed.

After a moment's pause she felt a squeeze in reply and didn't even try to hide the grin from settling on her lips.

She didn't look at him. Kensi didn't have to.

Years of working together gave her an advantage; she knew his eyes were flitting between the road and her profile. She knew that if their eyes met he'd joke and deflect and she'd taunt and retreat.

It's what they did.

And it's what they had to stop doing.

Tonight they were going to stop doing that. And, possibly, start doing something else.

Something that she had wanted for longer than she'd ever admit to herself, never mind anyone else.

Kensi schooled her features and refused to let her breath catch in her throat, no matter how much anticipation and anxiety and, yes, fear, was pumping through her.

There was no doubt that she wanted this.

There was no doubt that they needed to do this.

But the possibility of losing her partner for a night of what she was sure would be amazing sex, sent her into a mental tail spin.

She kept shoving the thought out of the way, refusing to acknowledge it.

They could make this work.

It had to work.

If they did this, it wasn't a one time thing for her. And she felt like she knew him well enough to know this wasn't a one time thing for him, either. This wasn't about releasing some pent up sexual tension and moving on with life.

This was her best friend. Who had finally made it very clear that he wanted to be more than just her best friend.

And, though he didn't outright say it, she knew he had wanted to be more than just her best friend for a really long time.

And for the first time in years, she could actually imagine 'a really long time' with someone.

But she was only able to imagine that really long time with him.

It was probably because he understood her in a way that other people didn't.

He understood her need for sugary snacks, sure. He understood her need to zone out in front of trashy reality television, of course.

But he understood her in a way that no one did. Not Callen. Not Sam. Not Dom. Not Jack.

He knew her well enough to be both deliberate and subtle with his intentions towards her. He knew, too, that without her full trust in him, they'd go nowhere. He knew that she longed for a family, having left hers behind so many years ago and he knew that she was petrified of having a family and screwing it up. He knew that she loved their dinners, their time together, their walks with Monty more than she ever admitted. He knew that she outwardly didn't trust him, but inwardly didn't trust herself and that neither of those were anything he'd done. He knew that she needed him to be a safe place - their 'thing' to be a safe place - before she'd ever move forward.

She felt the car slow and she tried to slow her mind, as well.

His fingers slipped from her grasp and she blinked, realizing they were parked in front of his place. Before she could move, he had walked around and opened her car door and stood there with his hand held out.

Kensi had two legs and could certainly slide out of the car the same way she slid in. But one look up at him and she knew that he wasn't offering a hand because he thought she was weak; he never thought that.

He was offering his hand because he truly craved the contact. Because he wanted to touch her. To be near her. He wanted to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere she wasn't going to be.

Where Kensi goes, I go, he had said. That's how we roll. Kensi's lips twitched up as she remembered his words.

She let their fingers tangle and allowed him to pull her ever so gently out of the car and he closed the door behind her.

He didn't move towards his place.

Her SUV was, as per usual, in his spare parking space, having met at his place before going for the tacos that weren't tacos at all.

This was her chance.

He was giving her an out. She could wish him a good night, pull her keys out of her pocket and go home.

This silent pause in the parking lot wasn't about Kensi making a decision she couldn't change. There was no doubt in her mind that later on, if she had said 'no' or 'stop' or put a hand on his chest to hold him off, he'd respect was his way of giving her an out so they got to stop things from going into the land of the unknown.

If she left now, there'd be no roaming hands, no running of her lips across his scruff, no him tugging gently on her locks to tilt her head while their tongues dueled. If she slid into her leather seats and turned that key, she'd never get to feel the sensations of waking up with his arms wrapped around her naked body. She could get in her car and walk away from the best man she'd known and a relationship she deep down knew she deserved.

She looked at him, seeing the hesitation and nervousness in his eyes. He was as worried about fucking this up as she was. They were too wrapped in each other's lives for this to not work. He knew it and she knew it.

Kensi shifted her eyes to his doorway and expected to feel the normal sense of hesitation she experienced when going to bed with a guy for the first time.

But that feeling never came.

She saw the light peeking through his curtain; the hall light they had left on when they had gone back to his place so he could change.

This was home. It was as much home, if not more so, as her own apartment.

This was a safe place. He had made this a safe place.

He was a safe place.

Kensi tightened her grip on his hand and moved towards her car, pulling him with her.

The look on his face of pure confusion mixed with disappointment almost caused her to laugh but somehow she managed to refrain.

With her free hand, Kensi fished her eyes out of her back pocket and held the key fob in front of her. She pushed one button and the trunk lock disengaged. She opened the hatch with one hand, never letting their hands come untangled. The strap for her Go bag was easy to reach and she pulled it out, slinging it over her shoulder and giving him a nervous smile. It was presumptuous of her to think she be staying long enough to need a change of clothes or a toothbrush.

Deeks' look turned from confused fear to absolute elation and Kensi couldn't help but smile when she watched him reach up with his free hand and help her pull the hatch down and closed.

She tugged his hand towards her, letting him stumble into her. She leaned up and planted a gentle kiss on his lips, feeling him smile against her.

He stepped back and raised a brow. Kensi's nod was miniscule, but he caught it - she had known he would.

They both turned and headed towards his door.

Here we go.