AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in bold are lines from the show, words in italics indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 13

It took him only a few moments to grab the absolute necessities: the compass, a journal, a little trinket of Liam's, and a piece of the rigging.

"I'm sorry, darling." Killian said as he tucked the rigging in his pocket. "I know you understand. You've seen me through a lot."

"Talking to a ship?" A familiar voice asked.

Killian turned to see the version of Emma his conscience had manifested itself as a few months prior.

"I am sure in my decision, so why are you here?"

"For comfort." Not-Emma shrugged. "And to cheer you on?"

Killian raised an eyebrow. "She's been my home for a long time. I will miss her and the last person I ever wanted to turn her over to is that bloody idiot Blackbeard."

"But…" His conscience prompted.

"But it's worth it. Emma is worth it." Killian shrugged. "It's not enough to just survive anymore. I can't stay here and any curse like that…I know I do not have the time to go about finding another way."

"Congratulations on some personal growth, Killian Jones." His conscience smiled.

"Aye." He said softly and leaned against the railing. His conscience didn't say a word, just stood with him. Killian was prepared for the next part. He knew it would hurt. This was by far one of the most difficult things he had ever done. But deep down he knew it was the right choice, and the right thing to do.

Funny, how after 200 years of self-service and anger, Killian now found himself wanting to do the right thing. And though his heart was breaking a little for the loss of the only home he'd known for so long, the ship that had the memories of Milah and Liam, part of him was excited. He had a chance to see Emma again. He could restore her memories. Perhaps she will realize her feelings for him once that happens.

"Slow down. You know Emma." His conscience warned.

"Aye, I do. I know she's tough and her walls are up, but I made a lot of progress on them before the curse and when she remembers, I'll begin again." Killian smiled. "Even if she's rebuilt a few."

Killian turned to his conscience and smiled at his own imaginary version of Emma. "Thank you."

Not-Emma just winked and vanished. Killian stood for another half hour, drinking his ship in and enjoying her one final time.

Blackbeard was punctual, at least, and much more sober.

He seemed to stare at Killian as if he had three heads. "Why do you want a bean this badly?"

For once, Blackbeard had dropped the hard pirate persona and was simply looking at Killian. He was confused and calculating, trying to figure out what was worth more than the Jolly Roger that required going through a portal.

"That's my business, I'm afraid." Killian said calmly. "Do we still have a deal?"

"Aye." Blackbeard pulled out a bean. "Trade at the bottom of the gangplank?"

"Any double crossing nullifies all deals." Killian nodded and started down the gangplank. He did not let Blackbeard pass until he had the bean.

"Whatever it is, I hope it's worth it." Blackbeard said softly.

"Believe me, it is." Killian said and walked away, bean in hand.

Once he felt he was safe, Killian took out the compass, smiling at the memories it brought him, and focused on getting to Emma in New York. He threw the bean on to the ground and jumped in. In no time, the portal spat him out in a large park.

At first, Killian thought he might be in the wrong place. Then he looked up and saw buildings reaching the sky and he knew he was back in New York. The last time he was here, his goal had been to find the crocodile. That had been easy, he knew where they were going and New York was a surprisingly simple place to navigate. This time, however, he had no idea where Emma lived. He knew where to start, though. The library. And as luck, or fate, would have it, he landed in a park quite near the library.

Perhaps fortune is on my side this time. Killian thought and happily made his way into the grand old building that was the central branch of the New York Public Library.

Most of the people of the land without magic used their talking phones to find things. Killian Jones had found this useful item called a phonebook in the Storybrooke library. If his hunch was correct, Emma would be a bail bonds person. The library was a welcome sight, the marble floors and rows of books feeling familiar - some things were the same across the realms - and Killian, with a bit of charm, found the location of the phonebooks. There were many bail bondsmen in New York. Killian eliminated any that had years of experience, and any that were clearly geared towards a person who spoke another language.

Still too many. Killian thought. Perhaps a little help wouldn't be amiss…

Killian walked back to the desk.

"Apologies, lass, but I appear to need some assistance." He said, smiling.

"Sure, what can I do for you?" The woman asked.

"I'm looking for a bail bonds person. We were chasing the same villain when she accidentally took my bag with my belongings and identification. I've got a name and a description, but I've no idea what agency she works for. I just want to get my identification back, and possibly my change of clothes." Killian explained. "Can you help a fellow out?"

"I'll try googling it." She smiled. "Name?"

"Emma Swan."

The woman typed for a moment, staring at the magic box the people of this world loved so much. "Ah. Got it. She works for a local company. Big Apple Bonds, LLC."

Nice, Regina. Killian thought. Couldn't help yourself, could you?

"The office isn't too far from here. I'll write down the address for you."

"You've been terribly kind, thank you." Killian laid on the charm.

"You're welcome." She handed him a piece of paper with the address. "Good luck."

Killian just winked at her and left the library. It was too late to start searching tonight, so he made his way to Baelfire - Neal's - old apartment. It was fortunately still undisturbed, and he even noticed that Henry had left his device for capturing images there. If Swan wasn't convinced, sending her here might be a good plan B. Falling asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, Killian had his first peaceful night's rest in nearly a year.

Early the next morning, he set out for the address on the scrap of paper. It would be easy to follow Emma home. Pulling out the book he had…borrowed from the library, Killian Jones settled in for a long day of reading and waiting. Emma arrived with a cup of coffee and it took everything he had to stay where he was.

Beautiful. Killian thought. She really was. Her blonde hair hung in curls and she seemed more dressed up than usual. However, the look was missing her signature red jacket. He thought he'd memorized her features, her gait, and her look but seeing her again after a year showed him how far off the mark he'd been. Emma was stunning. There was no other word for it. But Killian was resolute. Stopping her on the street like this was a bad plan, and then he wouldn't be able to find out where she lives. So he sat and read. When she went to lunch, he followed her (at a good distance, she was still Emma and the daughter of Snow White, tracker extraordinaire.) Emma seemed lighter here, a bit more carefree, but also less…real. Like deep down she knew something wasn't right, but had decided to delude herself and ignore the feeling so she could be happy. Which wasn't true happiness but this was Emma, her stubbornness and her denial were, at times, intense. So, when she merely went to a sandwich place, Killian returned to his post at her work.

Finally, it was time for her to head home. Following her, again at a discreet distance, Killian was happy to see that she lived close to a park, south of the Library, near a street called "Madison". After verifying her name was on the door, he returned to Neal's apartment, which was about 20 blocks away but much easier to traverse than the paths through a forest. He also knew exactly when he needed to arrive. Emma was a creature of habit, so her morning routines would be the same every day. (camping in the jungle for weeks on end will teach you things about a person…)

Getting into the apartment building was ridiculously easy. This is not a protected building at all. Killian thought. Just anyone could walk in here. All he had to do was hold the door for a woman walking out with a few things in her hand and say good morning pleasantly. She nodded her thanks and went about her business, completely fine with the fact that she'd just let a pirate into her building. Though, to be fair, she probably didn't realize he was a pirate.

Killian felt a thrill of anticipation as he knocked on her door. He heard music from inside and thought, perhaps, his first knock was too quiet, so he knocked again, this time louder. Emma opened the door and all the rational parts of his brain shut down.